The Best 37 Suspicion Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Suspicion jokes. There are some suspicion felony jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these suspicion resentment puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Suspicion Jokes and Puns
My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
What's the definition of suspicion?
Nun doing press ups in a cucumber field.
All the single ladles
Joe invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the course of said dinner his mother couldn't help but notice the staggering beauty of Joe's roommate. She had been long suspicious of a relationship between them, and her beauty combined with the banter she had seen them share only made her all the more curious.
Joe noticed his mother's suspicion. "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you that Julie and I are just roommates."
A week later, Julie came to Joe and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't seem to find the gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it on accident, do you?"
Joe agreed that it was a reasonable possibility, and wrote a letter to his mother inquiring about the ladle. It read, "I'm not saying you 'did' take the ladle, nor am I saying you 'did not' take the ladle,' but the fact is it's been missing since you came to dinner last week."
Several weeks later, a reply came.
"I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Julie, nor am I saying you 'do not' sleep with Julie. The fact is if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now."
The father's suspicions that his daughter was promiscuous we're confirmed when she got a tattoo...
of a load bearing sign on her back.
My suspicions were correct about the mail running late.
The red flags were everywhere.
I always suspected that Matthew McConaughey was a rebel. That suspicion was confirmed when I saw what he wore every single day after Labor Day.
All white, all white, all white.
I had a suspicion that a robot might be stealing my wood
So I checked its log files.
I once saw an Arab on a flight....
I was kinda shocked when I saw him and looked on him with suspicion. Then he understood what I was thinking and approaching me, he said, "Not all Muslims are terrorists" and we laughed so hard that his grenades fell out of his pocket.
I heard the police raided my neighbors house on suspicion of a brutal murder...
... When they charged into the bathroom they found Head and Shoulders.
A break-dancer got arrested on suspicion of terrorism
His boombox was safely detonated by the bomb squad.
You can explore suspicion prosecutor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean suspicion suspiciously dad jokes. There are also suspicion puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a terrorist
Turns out I bombed the test
Yo Mama so ugly...
She can't even arouse suspicion.
My mom had something important to tell me
Me: "What is it Mom?"
Mom: "You were adopted."
Me: "Wow. That explains a lot...I had a suspicion."
Mom: "Pack your bags. Your new family gets here in 10 minutes."
Zwei Gin Bitte!
During World War 2, two German spies recieved an intensive training in English so they could do their job in London without causing suspicion.
To test their knowledge they enter a pub.
Spies: "Two gins, please!"
Bartender: "Dry?"
Spies (confused): "Nein, zwei!!
A man was brought to the FBI on suspicion of murder
A man was brought to the FBI on suspicion of murder. He argued that there was no way he could have done it, as he was in vacation in Prague for the week of the killing. The FBI took note of his travel records and let him go; his alibi czeched out.
My mistress dressed as a policewoman arrested me under suspicion of being too good in bed
After 10 seconds of gun action, the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
there was a suspicion of university diploma forgery
There was a suspicion of university diploma forgery. The police went to investigate that. "There was no proof that any crime was commited," said the police officer, John Brown J.D., M.D., B.D., Ph.D.
Daring strategy
After years of loneliness, I finally worked out a great dating strategy. I'll pretend to be gay. I'm going to make tons of chick friends, really get them to trust me, tell me everything… and when they haven't got an ounce of suspicion left – BOOOM!
I'll get their boyfriends!
I was admitted to the ER with suspicion of having a stroke
But the doctor told me not to worry, it was all just in my head.
My wife put on a sexy cop outfit and arrested me on suspicion of being good in bed.
After a short trial, I was found not guilty.
I have my suspicions my vet might be gay..
I can tell just from looking at him he's seen a cockatoo.
When a bunch of actors are on suspicion of using drugs, one of them had to make the toughest decision
It's Michael Cane
I'm under the suspicion that my sister's boyfriend has been beating her.
I don't have any proof, but her cooking has gotten a lot better since than last time we met.
My girlfriend was arrested on suspicion that i was good in bed.
Charges were dropped due to lack of evidences
My mom said she's checking my browser history out of suspicion. I've got nothing to hide, though.
Because there's nothing to be found.
For Halloween, my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and arrested me under suspicion of being too good in bed
However, after a couple minutes the charges were dropped
My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
I shot her because I don't want to go to prison.
My drug dealer started to disguise himself as a Jehovah's Witness so he would not arouse suspicion.
He was arrested when the police saw people actually let him in.
A man is pulled over by a cop on the suspicion that the man is Driving Under the Influence.
Cop: Are you high?
Man: Am I what?
Cop: High.
Man: Hello.
A truck on the way to the zoo was pulled of on suspicion of carrying illegal drugs.
The truck was carrying various animals including a few ducks. The driver was promptly arrested for trasporting large amounts of *quack* across state lines.
There's only one thing I can arouse
Suspicion
Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
A crow was arrested today under suspicion of being involved in a murder
The judge threw the case out. He said he had just caws.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism.
The Police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges.
In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in possession of weapons of maths instruction!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the suspicion suspect jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working suspicion evidence piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.