The Best 22 Susie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Susie jokes. There are some susie debbie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these susie cathy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Susie Jokes and Puns

Helpful Daughter

Little Susie, a six year old , complained:"Mother, I've got a stomach ache."

"That's because our stomach is empty", the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."

That afternoon her daddy came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.

Susie perked up: " That's because it's empty", she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

Happy Birthday Henry

Old widower Henry is celebrating his 80th birthday in the retirement home, and his friends decide to hire a hooker to entertain him. So early that evening, a beautiful blond shows up at his door, and says "HI, I'm Susie, and I'm here to give you super sex."

Henry looks her over, thinks for a minute, and says "Eh, I'll take the soup."

Where did Susie go after being hit by the bus?

Everywhere

Susie joke, Where did Susie go after being hit by the bus?

Where did Susie go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

Little Johnny asked one day, "Mommy can little girls give birth?"

"No son. Of course not"

"Oh OK... Hey Susie! Its OK to keep playing the game now!"


A dirty limerick I made up today ...

I once met a girl named Susie.
And, boy, was she a doozie!
She loved me right,
Made it last all night!
And in the morning she blew me!

Hi. I am here. First post, go easy on me.

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"

Susie joke, Hi. I am here. First post, go easy on me.

Little Susie goes to the doctor...

Little Susie goes to the doctor. Doctor puts a stethoscope on her back and says, "Ok now, big breathes."
Susie says, "I know! And I'm only 12!"

Past& Sees Her.

Susie is a prostitute who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& suck 'em until they're dry.

Why did little Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Playing doctor

Susie and Johnny were playing doctor, when Susie suddenly started crying and ran to her mother.

Later the Susie's mother confronted the Johnny's mother. "My Susie said that your Johnny was playing doctor with her!".

Johnny's mother responded calmly, "that's OK, kids are always exploring. I wouldn't worry about it."

Susie's mom screamed out, "but he took out her appendix!"

You can explore susie johnny reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean susie shirl dad jokes. There are also susie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


School!

Johnny's teacher asked him "if you had 15 jellybeans and Susie asked you for five , how many would you have left ?"

Johnny replied, "15"

Susie, you got half the problems wrong.

That's okay, Dad. I want to be a meteorologist when I grow up

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her first-grade class.

"Class," she said, "what were the first words Jesus said when he walked out of the tomb on Easter morning?"

A little girl waved her hand excitedly. "Ooh! Ooh! I know!" she said. "Pick me! Pick me!"

The teach smiled and said, "All right, Susie. What did Jesus say when he walked out of the tomb?"

Susie stood up proudly. "He said, 'TAH-DAH!'"

One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying...

So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.

"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?"

"An orgy," answered Little Johnny.

Little Johnny is in Catholic School

The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"

Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."

Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."

Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Johnny says, "Jesus is in my bathroom every morning."

The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this.

Little Johnny answers saying, "Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, 'JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"

Susie joke, Little Johnny is in Catholic School

For all the animal lovers out there

A teacher is in front of the class teaching word problems. She asks little Susie,

Teacher: If you had 5 pets and someone wanted 3 of them, how many would you have?

Susie: 5, I'm not going to give them away.

Teacher: Alright, if you had 5 pets and someone forcibly took 3 of them, how many would you have?

Susie: 5...and a dead body.

Where did little Susie go after she heard the bomb blast?

Everywhere!!

A teacher is teaching a 5th grade class on Zoom.

The teacher says to Susie, "Tell the class why you want to be a teacher."

Susie says, "Actually, I want to be a stripper."

The teacher asks, "A stripper? I thought you wanted to do my noble profession."

Susie says, "That was before I saw your tiny apartment."


So a Sunday School teacher asks her class where Jesus is.

Little Susie says, In Heaven!

Little Amy says, In my heart!

Little Johnny says, In my bathroom!

Perplexed, the Sunday School teacher asks little Johnny why Jesus would be in his bathroom.

I don't know, I just hear my dad every morning banging on the bathroom door and yelling 'Jesus Christ are you still in there?!'

Where did little Susie go after going into a minefield?

EVERYWHERE!

A teacher asked Jamaal what his father did...

Jamaal: My father is a doctor.
Teacher: Susie what about your father?
Susie: He is a lawyer.
Teacher: William?
William: My father...he's passed.
Teacher: I'm sorry to hear that. What did he do before he died?
William: He clutched his chest and collapsed.

Adapted from a George Burns joke he credited to Walter Matthau.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the susie terri jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working susie pamela piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes