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Surrender Jokes

61 surrender jokes and hilarious surrender puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about surrender that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a humorous anecdote about when the French Army surrendered during Neuf? Read the article “Surrender Jokes” and explore the comedic accounts of when the French Army was blown apart. Get a good laugh today and instantly become an expert on the events of Neuf!

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Funniest Surrender Short Jokes

Short surrender jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The surrender humour may include short submissive jokes also.

  1. If France and Italy go to war, who would win? None of them, France would surrender and Italy would switch sides.
  2. France and Italy simultaneously declare war on each other France surrenders
    Italy changes sides
    Both lose
  3. Civil War spoilers Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth.
  4. Why do the french hate League of Legends? They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering
  5. When I was in high school, I was part of the French club. We didn't really do anything, but every once in a while, we'd surrender to the German club.
  6. What does every frenchmen learn in first grade of school? (sorry France) How to surrender in 6 different languages.
  7. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
  8. Putin: There's a lot less Ukrainian soldiers surrendering than I expected. Putin's stooge: It's fewer, Mr. President.
    Putin: Don't call me that. Yet.
  9. You got to admit these civil war reenactments are getting more efficient Nowadays it only takes a couple hours for the confederacy to surrender
  10. Does anyone know where I can find the "Surrender" Emoji? Nevermind the French flag works fine. 🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷

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Surrender One Liners

Which surrender one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with surrender? I can suggest the ones about sacrifice and retreat.

  1. Why do Russians wear white armbands so they have something to wave when they surrender
  2. Which element is most likely to surrender an electron? Francium.
  3. Napoleon was the best general the french ever had. He managed to surrender twice.
  4. I entered the "How not to surrender" competition and I won hands down.
  5. If I had an atom bomb for every gender... I'd force Japan to surrender
  6. North Korea threatens to start nuclear war France surrenders just in case
  7. White Nationalist should honor the true legacy Robert E. Lee And surrender.
  8. What French city always surrenders first? Toulouse
  9. France and Italy are at war. Who wins? No one. France surrenders and Italy changes sides
  10. Why does the French army surrender so quickly? They have nothing Toulouse.
  11. Believe it or not i can actually speak fluent French I surrender!
  12. What's the first thing they learn in the French army? To say "I surrender!", in German.
  13. Excuse my french... ...but I surrender.
  14. Why did the limbless gladiator surrender? He was unarmed and defeated.
  15. The French I can speak fluent french, watch this... "I Surrender"

French Surrender Jokes

Here is a list of funny french surrender jokes and even better french surrender puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why wasn't Euro Disney popular? Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.
  • Did you hear that the French President is getting divorced? Apparently he came home early and caught his wife surrendering to a German.
  • The key to pronouncing a word in French ...is to try to say it the way it's written, and then surrender halfway through.
  • What is the first thing French soldiers learn, when joining the military ? The phrase "I surrender" in german
  • What do the French learn in basic training? How to surrender in twenty-seven different languages.
  • French Presidential bodyguard accidentally discharges weapon whilst on duty... France & Italy have both offer their immediate unconditional surrender.
  • Why is the French flag white in the middle? So that you can fold the red and blue to surrender.
  • How do you say "I surrender" in french? "Bonjour"
  • The French Club is Really Fun! Until you have to surrender to the German Club.
  • Did you know that the eskimos has 32 different words for snow? And the bedouins has 47 different words for sands? And the french has 54 different words for "I surrender"?
Surrender joke, Did you know that the eskimos has 32 different words for snow? And the bedouins has 47 different wor

Uproarious Surrender Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about surrender you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean acceptance jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make surrender pranks.

Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffle... these events could engulf the entire continental breakfast.

and my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.

France and Italy are in a battle against each other. Who wins?

Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides.

France and Italy declare war...

France surrenders and Italy switches sides. Both countries lose.

A Frenchman and an Ethiopian got into a heated argument.

The Frenchman said, "We have better food, wine, standard of living, transportation, infrastructure, economy, and GDP than you! What do you have? Nothing!"
The Ethiopian answered, "At least we didn't surrender to the Axis!"

In 1991, a country banned expressions of surrender, acceptance, or agreement.

That marked the fall of the "So be it" Union.

Breaking news : ISIS has surrendered

As soon as they read that Hugh Hefner has died , they realized there won't be any more virgins left for them in heaven, and have laid down their arms and will lead peaceful lives with their current wives .

There is a fence

A deer walks up to the fence and jumps over it.
An antelope walks up to the fence and goes under it.
A French guy walks up to the fence and surrenders.
A German guy walks up to the fence and builds a bigger gun.
An Italian walks up to the fence and starts eating pasta.
A pothead walks up to the fence, sits on it and starts smoking w**....
An American walks up to the fence, shoots the pothead, tests how sturdy the fence is, and strips it up to put it on the Mexican border.

Did you hear about the war between France and Italy?

Italy switched sides and France surrendered

The CIA, KGB and MI6 decide to have a contest.

Each is given the task to find a rabbit
realeased in the woods.
The CIA uses spyplanes and satellites and finds the rabbit in 2 hours.
The MI6 deploys recon and search teams and finds it in 3 hours.
The KGB return after 1 hour with a badly beaten bear who cries out "I am the rabbit and I surrender".

The CIA, F.B.I and a local police department take part in a contest and are tasked with finding a rabbit released in the nearby woods

The police department deploys search squads and dogs, and after 4 hours comes back with the rabbit.
The FBI deploys helicopters and drones and finds the rabbit in 2 hours.
The CIA comes back after 30 minutes with a badly beaten bear who cries out I am the rabbit! And I surrender

Lavrov wakes up Putin at night ...

\- Vladimir Vladimirovich, Ukrainians want to talk about surrender.
\- Harasho , finally. Get them on the phone.
\- No ... They're outside the door. We have an hour.

So Putin is woken up at 02:30 in the morning.

"Vladimir Vladimirovich, the Ukrainians want to discuss the terms of surrender." says Putin's secretary.
Putin sits up on his bed and says: "Great, give me my phone, I'll call Zelinsky."
The secretary answers: "That won't be necessary, they are standing behind the door. Also, they gave us an hour."

Surrender joke

jokes about surrender