Surgical Jokes

Enjoy these funny medical-related jokes from both the surgical tech and surgical nurse point of view. Be sure to include anesthesiology, hernia, and examinations. Laugh out loud to these hilarious jokes about the everyday life of a surgical technologist.

Charming Humor Surgical Jokes with Loads of Fun

Just been in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask

I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"

She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."

How many perverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes a surgical team to get it out.

My rabbi told me this one.

An orthodox Jewish man is about to go through heart surgery.

Before his doctor begins, he asks the Jewish man if he's ever had a surgical operation before, and if so, how it went.

The Jewish man responds, "I've only had surgery one time, and I couldn't walk for a year and a half."

A surgeon is about to perform his first surgery...

...and the patient is lying on the surgical table, waiting for the anesthetist. The doctor grabs the patient's hand and takes a deep breath.

Surgeon: "Don't worry, Richard, this is not big deal, just a few cuts here and there, and all done in less than an hour. Tonight you rest, watch the game and forget about this."

Patient: "My name is not Richard!"

Surgeon: "Oh, I'm just talking to myself."

3 surgeons were arguing on the golf course about who makes the best patients.

The first one said he loved librarians to operate on. When you open them up, every part is in alphabitical order. The second doc said no, electricians are the best! Everything inside is color coded. The third doc said he had spent most of his career working in D C. That the absolute best surgical patients were polliticians. Their heads are interchangable with theirs a**... and they have no internal organs as they are completely full of s**...!

I went into a Starbucks earlier and asked the barista why they were wearing a surgical mask.

They replied: "I'm not, it's a coughy filter"

The military described the drone strike as "surgical"

This was accurate. It was b**..., it was invasive, and they washed their hands afterwards.

Surgical joke, The military described the drone strike as "surgical"

I got a book titled 'A Guide to Surgical Procedures'.

I opened it up and the appendix was missing.

A recent study has shown patient mortality rates increase with the age of the doctor

Next week I have a surgical consultation with a particularly clever-looking newborn.

I just found out a friend of mine had their appendix removed...

... so I asked what the surgical team had decided to do with the forward, introduction, contents, glossary and index?

What do you call the surgical procedure for a female to male s**... change?

An Addadicktome.

You can explore surgical examinations reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean surgical surgeon dad jokes. There are also surgical puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

"This surgical knife isn't sharp,"

...Dr. Swiftie said bluntly.

Surgical operations

When you get your tonsils removed: tonsillectomy
When you have your appendix removed: appendicectomy
When a woman has a s**... change: addadictomy

The p**... said we could do it as long as we both wore surgical masks and persepex visors.

Suits me. They normally charge extra when I suggest that.

What do you call a F2M surgical procedure?

An addadicktome.

You know when you get your ears removed but there aren't any surgical lights around so you use car lights?

It's a de-ear in the headlights.

Surgical joke, You know when you get your ears removed but there aren't any surgical lights around so you use car l

What's an English majors favorite surgical procedure?

A semicolon-oscopy

I told someone that I don't want to ever see him again

He just said: You're welcome." as he took off his mask and surgical glove.

Why should doctors wear surgical masks when pulling the plug on Donald Trump?

So no one can see their smiles.

Did you hear about the bombed hospital in Afghanistan?

You could almost say it was a surgical strike.

Gender Mender

(Surgical knife for Bruce Jenner)

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the surgical surgically puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working surgical undergo piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes