Surgical Jokes
19 surgical jokes and hilarious surgical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about surgical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy these funny medical-related jokes from both the surgical tech and surgical nurse point of view. Be sure to include anesthesiology, hernia, and examinations. Laugh out loud to these hilarious jokes about the everyday life of a surgical technologist.
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Funniest Surgical Short Jokes
Short surgical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The surgical humour may include short surgery jokes also.
- Just been in to starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"
She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter." - I got a book titled 'A Guide to Surgical Procedures'. I opened it up and the appendix was missing.
- A recent study has shown patient mortality rates increase with the age of the doctor Next week I have a surgical consultation with a particularly clever-looking newborn.
- I just found out a friend of mine had their appendix removed... ... so I asked what the surgical team had decided to do with the forward, introduction, contents, glossary and index?
- I found out I have Scoliosis God finally gave me curves,
Shame they ll be surgically removed. - What do you call a man who has had his calves removed and the ends of his feet surgically reattached in their place? Tony.
- Did you hear about the flower that had its stamen surgically removed? It must have been a transplant.
- You know when you get your ears removed but there aren't any surgical lights around so you use car lights? It's a de-ear in the headlights.
- I told someone that I don't want to ever see him again He just said: You're welcome." as he took off his mask and surgical glove.
- Why should doctors wear surgical masks when pulling the plug on Donald Trump? So no one can see their smiles.
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Surgical One Liners
Which surgical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with surgical? I can suggest the ones about surgeries performed and medical procedure.
- "This surgical knife isn't sharp," ...Dr. Swiftie said bluntly.
- What's an English majors favorite surgical procedure? A semicolon-oscopy
- Gender Mender (Surgical knife for Bruce Jenner)
- When two criminals get surgically attached They are con fused
Charming Humor Surgical Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about surgical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean surgery anesthesia jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make surgical pranks.
My rabbi told me this one.
An orthodox Jewish man is about to go through heart surgery.
Before his doctor begins, he asks the Jewish man if he's ever had a surgical operation before, and if so, how it went.
The Jewish man responds, "I've only had surgery one time, and I couldn't walk for a year and a half."
A surgeon is about to perform his first surgery...
...and the patient is lying on the surgical table, waiting for the anesthetist. The doctor grabs the patient's hand and takes a deep breath.
Surgeon: "Don't worry, Richard, this is not big deal, just a few cuts here and there, and all done in less than an hour. Tonight you rest, watch the game and forget about this."
Patient: "My name is not Richard!"
Surgeon: "Oh, I'm just talking to myself."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 surgeons were arguing on the golf course about who makes the best patients.
The first one said he loved librarians to operate on. When you open them up, every part is in alphabitical order. The second doc said no, electricians are the best! Everything inside is color coded. The third doc said he had spent most of his career working in D C. That the absolute best surgical patients were polliticians. Their heads are interchangable with theirs a**... and they have no internal organs as they are completely full of s**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The military described the drone strike as "surgical"
This was accurate. It was b**..., it was invasive, and they washed their hands afterwards.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My niece was born with no eyelids, bless her heart, but the doctors were able to replace them with surgically removed f**......
Only side effect is she's a little c**...-eyed now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The p**... said we could do it as long as we both wore surgical masks and persepex visors.
Suits me. They normally charge extra when I suggest that.
