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Surgery Remove Jokes

35 surgery remove jokes and hilarious surgery remove puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about surgery remove that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Surgery Remove Short Jokes

Short surgery remove jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The surgery remove humour may include short surgery jokes also.

  1. After 4 months without the gym I finally went back and a great weight was lifted off my shoulders After they removed the weight, the paramedics then took me to the hospital for extensive surgery.
  2. I grew a whole foot the summer after 8th Grade! Yeah the doctors were shocked, It took 3 surgeries to remove.
  3. A man went into surgery to remove his tonsils. Due to a hospital error he got circumcised.
    Media was alerted by an anonymous tip.
  4. My English professor had a colonoscopy... Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
  5. Had my wisdom teeth removed and the doc wrote me a script for oxys The percs of dental surgery
  6. Today I Saw A Living Tea Cup. But it was missing an arm, so I asked "what happened to your arm?"
    He reply with "I had to get surgery to remove it."
    "Oh"
    "So I guess your an amputea?"
  7. I had my appendix removed a few years ago... I hope I never need surgery again. If I do, how will the surgeon be able to find anything in my body?
  8. A programmer had surgery for a stomach problem, and half of his intestines had to be removed. He could never write code after that. He was always missing a semi-colon.
  9. Pete Carrol has kidney stone complications. It should have been removed by surgery....
    (wait for it)....
    But he decided to try to pass it.
  10. Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
    Yeah... now he has no ears.

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Surgery Remove One Liners

Which surgery remove one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with surgery remove? I can suggest the ones about surgeries performed and removal.

  1. I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery hashtag nofilter
  2. Doctor: sorry but I had to remove your colon in the surgery.. Me why?
  3. Why did FIFA have surgery? They had to remove their Blatter.
  4. My mate just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.
  5. I got breast removal surgery... Sorry I had to get that of my chest

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about surgery remove can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of surgery remove puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Surgery Remove Jokes

What funny jokes about surgery remove you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean surgical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make surgery remove prank.

(AP) New York - A baby delivered without eyelids had surgery today at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan, NY. Doctors successfully removed the child's f**... and were able to use the tissue to successfully form eyelids. Doctors said the child will be fine.

Just a little cockeyed.

Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."

Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."

During a weekly game at the home for the aged, the bingo caller began choking and then collapsed.

He was rushed to emergency, and went immediately into surgery.
It appeared that 40 years of calling bingo games in smoky halls had finally caught-up with him.
The surgeon successfully removed a mass that was blocking his windpipe.
After waking from the surgery, the caller asked the surgeon if the mass was malignant.
The surgeon replied, "Fortunately, no. It was B9."

A Lady Threatened to Sue Her Husband's Doctor

A lady threatened to sue her husband's doctor because after he recovered from surgery he had performance issues in bed. She claimed that he could no longer get it up and therefore could no longer please her.
The Doctor responded with "How's that my fault? I only removed his cataracts."

A man goes in for hernia surgery

After the operation, the doctor meets him in the recovery room.
"Sir, the operation was successful but I have bad news. We accidentally removed your t**... during the surgery."
The man was immediately furious.
"You b**...! You dumb idiots! I'll kill you for this!"
The surgeon calmly replies "Now sir, you don't have the b**...."

To celebrate my cake day, here's a joke that gave me a giggle

An old lady walks into a dental surgery, sits down in the chair, lifts her knees up and spreads her legs.
Dentist: 'Miss, I believe you're in the wrong room'.
Woman: 'You put my husbands new teeth in last week. I'm here to have them removed'.

A baby boy born without eyelids...

Recently at a baby boy was born prematurely without eyelids. The doctors decided to take him off to surgery and circumcise him and use the skin removed to make new eyelids.
The surgery went great except he came out a little cocked eyed...

A woman was having surgery

A woman was having surgery to have her left leg amputated, due to gangrene. Unfortunately, the doctor mistakenly removed her right leg.
Realising his mistake while she was still under anaesthesia, he proceeded to remove her left left.
Later on, she sued the doctor for malpractice, but the jury did not come back in her favor.
They said she didn't have a leg to stand on!

A man is taken to the hospital for Emergency surgery.

He wakes up in recovery where the surgeon explains that they were able to successfully remove the giant s**... toy from his colon.
Remove it!?! I just came here to get the batteries changed.

2 onions fall in love and mate, they give birth to a beautiful son!

One day, they leave the front door open on accident and the young onion rolls out into the world.
While crossing the street, the poor onion child gets flattened in the road...
He is then rushed to the hospital, the father rolling around in the hall, extremely anxious to hear any news.
Finally after a long and grueling surgery, the doctor comes out, removed his mask, wipes the sweat from his brow and calls the father over.
Well, tell me what will happen with my baby boy! Will he live? The father begs
Well calm down, he will live , the doctor says,
He will unfortunately be a vegetable for his entire life though.

Two 12 year olds are in the hospital...

Two 12 year old boys are in the hospital, both on gurneys waiting to be wheeled into surgery. The first boy says to the other, "What are you here for?"
 
The second boy says, "I'm having my tonsils removed."
 
"Oh, I had my tonsils removed a few years ago. It wasn't that bad, and I got lots of ice cream after."
 
"So what are you here for?", asks the second boy.
 
"I'm getting a circumcision."
 
"Oh geez, good luck. I had mine done when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for 12 months afterwards."
 
Credit goes to my Finance professor, who told this joke as his opening statement for his retirement banquet speech.

A gangrene infection

A doctor at a hospital was out back on a smoke break and noticed a man standing at the nearby dumpster. He approached the man to make sure everything was ok and noticed that this man was suffering from a gangrene infection on his leg. Being a caring doctor, he invites the man into the hospital to have his leg examined. During the examination, it's determined that the mans leg needs to be amputated. Upon waking up from his surgery, the man discovers that the doctor amputated the wrong leg. Furious and threatening a lawsuit, he undergoes a second surgery to remove the leg with gangrene. He sues the hospital but he ends up losing because the court ruled that he didn't have a leg to stand on.

There was this guy living in Ireland who wanted to have the operation to become Irish

He had lived in Ireland for about 10 years and loved the place and its people so he went to the doctor and said he wanted to have the operation to become Irish.
The doctor warned him saying This is very dangerous, I have to remove half your brain .
The guy was very adamant and said he wanted to do it.
Next week he goes for surgery. After 5 hours he wakes up. He can see the doctor standing over him looking very worried.
The doctor says I am really sorry, the surgery went terribly wrong, I ended up having to remove your entire brain
The guy looks at him and replies Crickey mate, no worries!
-- as an Ozzy I love telling this to my Irish mates as they get really offended halfway through

Accident

A young woman's face is badly injured during a car c**.... Before surgery the surgeon removes a large part of skin from her husbands buttocks so he can transplant it to her face. The operation is a success and the woman looks almost the same as she did before. Gratefully, the woman thanks her husband: 'You're so sweet you did this for me, when we get home I will make sure you'll have the night of your life'. 'No need' the man says, 'It's thanks enough to know that every time your mother kisses you, she will be kissing my a**...!'

Why doctors are so expensive

Cindy was having a lot of pain in her stomach, so she went to the doctors to get it looked at. She was told she needed minor surgery to remove a growth, and that the operation would take 15 minutes.
The surgery went well with no complications, but when Cindy was shocked to find out that the bill was $1,000.
She yelled the doctor "Why is this bill so high? The operation only took 15 minutes?"
The doctor says "I'll tell you what, I'll charge you $100 for the cut, and $900 for knowing where to cut"

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these surgery remove jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.