Surgery Anesthesia Jokes
18 surgery anesthesia jokes and hilarious surgery anesthesia puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about surgery anesthesia that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Surgery Anesthesia Short Jokes
Short surgery anesthesia jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The surgery anesthesia humour may include short anesthesia jokes also.
- What's the worst thing you can hear a surgeon say during your surgery under local anesthesia? Oops
- When performing surgery on a grape, you don't need to use anesthesia. It'll only let out a little whine.
- When do a cop asks for no anesthesia while undergoing a surgery ? When the surgeon is black.
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Surgery Anesthesia One Liners
Which surgery anesthesia one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with surgery anesthesia? I can suggest the ones about surgery and surgery nurse.
- Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery? The anesthesia wasn't local.
- Why did the hipster put off their surgery? The anesthesia wasn't local.
Comedy Surgery Anesthesia Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about surgery anesthesia you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean surgeries performed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make surgery anesthesia pranks.
A lawyer had just undergone surgery
...and as he came out of the anesthesia, he said,
"Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?"
"There's a big fire across the street and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation was a failure."
A doctor performs surgery using local anesthesia
- Relax, Ernest, it's just a few cuts with a scalpel. Don't panic, the doctor says.
- But, doctor, my name is not Ernest.
- I know... just talking to myself.
I went into surgery yesterday
After the anesthesia wore off the nurse said if I didn't pee within 2 days to go to the ER. To help, she recommended sitting in a warm bath and peeing in there. I told her "No problem, I've been doing that since I was 2"
No Bedside Manner
I'd never had surgery, and I was nervous. This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure, the anesthesiologist reassured me. I felt better, until … Heck, he continued, you have a better chance of dying from the anesthesia than the surgery itself.
A nurse met with an accident
... and was brought to the hospital. Her injuries are not severe, but the surgeon opts for general anesthesia anyway. Just as he was about to complete the minor surgery, the patient wakes up, in shock, and would like to know what is going on.
I'm just about to close the n**... gash, the surgeon said.
The patient got paranoid and said, I'm not going to let you do that. I'm a senior nurse, I can close my own wound.
The surgeon hands her the thread and said, Suture self .
A woman who was very skeptical of modern medicine, had to get surgery...
A woman who was very skeptical of modern medicine, had to get surgery. She was in pre-op and asked the nurse if there was any way she could administer the anesthesia medication herself. To which the nurse replied "I am not sure, I will go ask the surgeon." The nurse leaves to check with the surgeon. After a few minutes the nurse walks back into the room, with the surgeon behind her.
Again, the woman asks the surgeon if she can administer the anesthesia medication herself. The surgeon replies "Sure, knock yourself out!"
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said,
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to 'beautiful'? His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"
The embarrassed s**... active middle aged woman
A s**... active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her v**... lips reduced in size because, over the years they have become loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course, the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.
"I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and
that the first rose was from him.
"I felt so sad for you, because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and
understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" the woman asked.
"That's from a man in the burns unit -
he wanted to thank you for his new ears!"
Lawyer and his wife
A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful," it was "cute." She asked, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"
3rd Rose
A s**... active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her v**... lips reduced in size because, over the years they had become loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and of course the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia,she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.
"I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt so sad for you, because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man in the burn unit - he wanted to thank you for his new ears."
A shy woman decides to have surgery
She wants to have surgery to remove her large v**... lips which have always made her self conscious. She finds a doctor and schedules the procedure but swears him to secrecy. "No one can ever know" she admonishes, and he agrees. After the anesthesia wears off she awakes to find three roses on her hospital tray. Angry, she calls for the doctor.
"Let me explain" the doctor says..."No one knows...the first rose is from me. I know how difficult this was for you. The second is from my nurse...she had the same procedure a year ago"
The woman is somewhat calmer. "But what about the third???"
The doctor says "Now don't get upset...He doesn't know who you are. But the man in the burn unit wanted to thank you for his new ears".