The Best 43 Surgeons Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Surgeons jokes. There are some surgeons librarians jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these surgeons orthopedic surgeon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Surgeons Jokes and Puns

Why do surgeons get so rich?

They always make their cut.

What do you call 3 Irish tree surgeons?

Tree fellas

A great cardiologist is being buried.

All of his colleagues and fellow surgeons are reunited to mourn his. All except for one man who is laughing. The cardiologist's coffin was in the shape of a heart to honor his career. The man continues to laugh. Finally they ask him why he is so happy at a funeral and he responds "I was picturing my funeral because I'm a gynecologist".

Surgeons joke, A great cardiologist is being buried.

How do tree surgeons live?

Life on the hedge!

Did you hear a bunch of surgeons are at the comedy club?

It's open Mike night.

What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty?

Faith lifts

Did you hear about the experimental procedure used at the Mayo Clinic recently?

The surgeons cut off a man's entire left side, so now he's alright.

Surgeons joke, Did you hear about the experimental procedure used at the Mayo Clinic recently?

2 surgeons are sitting down having lunch.

They are both engaged in a conversation when all of a sudden, one of the surgeons starts laughing hysterically. A dermatologist walks over to their table to join them. He asked the surgeons, "what's so funny?" One of the surgeons replies, " you wouldn't understand. It's an inside joke. "

Two surgeons are laughing during an operation when a dermatologist walks by...

"What's so funny?" asks the dermatologist.

"Sorry, it's a inside joke." replies the surgeon.

Cardiac transplant surgeons

Really have a heart for their patients.

What do you call a group of brain surgeons?

A neural network.

You can explore surgeons anaesthetist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean surgeons spineless dad jokes. There are also surgeons puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Did you know that a lobotomy is very easy to perform?

Surgeons call it a no-brainer.

Billfold Biopsy

While I was in the hospital, the surgeons found a large lump in my wallet…
But they got all of it.

What do you call a team of orthopedic surgeons?

A skeleton crew.

Plastic surgeons don't get along with me.

But they bring out the breast in my wife.

TIL It is common for staff and surgeons to laugh hysterically during separation surgery to conjoined twins.

Well it is side-splitting.

Surgeons joke, TIL It is common for staff and surgeons to laugh hysterically during separation surgery to conjoined

Traditionally, orthopedic surgeons were strong and dumb.

But now they have power tools.

Doctor's Discussion

Two surgeons are conferring in the hospital corridor outside a patient's room...

"We found a large lump in his wallet but I think we got it all."

What did the Chief of Surgery say...

...when she was told that one of her surgeons was using voodoo on their patients?

** Witch Doctor? **

My wife doesn't need makeup to look beautiful.

She needs a team of surgeons.

I wonder if church musicians and surgeons ever hang out

They could just chill and talk about organs

I'm a Latino nurse and while I was doing my rounds, one of the surgeons burst out of the operating room and told me to help finish the operation.

I cut the patient's organ on the wrong spot but luckily I miscalculated and saved their life. No one thought I could do it and I shocked them all. Nobody expected the Spanish missed the incision.

You know what they say about horse surgeons...

They have stable hands.

Liposuction surgeons hate her! Learn how this woman lost 250 pounds in just one day with ONE easy trick!

She became widowed

Surgeons are terrible in relationships.

They know everyone's the same on the inside.

How many surgeons does it take to give a man sight?

How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Why do brain surgeons begin operations early?

So they can work ahead

Poorly paid UK surgeons

Yesterday I found out that NHS surgeons are so poorly paid that they have to resort to crime.

I saw a sign, it said "Thieves operate in this area."

Today I learned where plastic surgeons get new noses for their patients...

At the olfactory.

Man circumcised by mistake when surgeons confused him for another patient'

Guess this is what they mean by undesirable cutbacks in the NHS.

I wasn't sure my surgeons could handle my hepatectomy...

But they really de-livered.

Cotton the middle of life and death

A stalk of wheat goes in to have a sex-change operation. After hours and hours in the operating room, one of the surgeons has a slip up with the sickle they are using. Nearly bleeding out, the wheat is stitched up in the nick of time.

A few weeks later, the wheat is recounting the story to its partner, who is a stalk of cotton. They tell them the operation was worth it, and they are lucky to be a sir fiber.

Three Surgeons meet in a bar...

Three Surgeons meet in a bar and talk about their work. The first one says "I sew 2 fingers that were cut off back on a guys hand, and I did it so well that he still became a famous pianist". The second one says "Thats nothing, I sew a guys legs back to his torso and did it so well that he still was able to win gold in the olympics". The third one says "a cowboy and his horse were hit by a train and the only thing i had left to work with was the guys ass and the horses blond mane. I did my best and the guy became president of the USA".

Four surgeons

Four surgeons sit around discussing their favorite patients.

The first surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".

The second surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".

The third surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded."

The fourth surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."

The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.

The fourth surgeon continues, "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the ass and head are interchangeable."

I guess I must be in the minority, but I always lick the knife when I'm done.

None of the other surgeons seem to do it.

After using a knife....

...I always lick it clean.

The other surgeons were not happy.

I must be in the minority, but I always lick my knife when I'm done

None of the other surgeons seem to do it !

Why do plastic surgeons finish every race in last place?

They always bring up the rear.

Four Surgeons are getting coffee

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered".

"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".

The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded".

The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their ass are interchangeable."

Every new McDonald's creates 40 new jobs.

20 dentists and 20 heart surgeons.

Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually . . .

encourage you to pick your nose.

I'm writing a book to help surgeons to use Eastern meditation to overcome anxiety in the operating theatre...

I'm going to call it *The Calmer Suture.*

I was rushed to hospital after being stabbed in the neck with a root vegetable...

Surgeons had to act fast to fix my carrot-ed artery.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the surgeons tree surgeon jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working surgeons brain surgeon piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes