Surface Jokes
86 surface jokes and hilarious surface puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about surface that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the science behind surface area jokes and how superficial jokes can be used to find humor in a variety of situations. Learn about surface tension, Microsoft Surface, blobby crusts, and more as we explore the world of surface jokes!
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Funniest Surface Short Jokes
Short surface jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The surface humour may include short side jokes also.
- My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her. Instead I just swam for the surface.
- The Earth's surface is 70% water. That water is uncarbonated. Therefore, the earth is flat.
- What's the difference between a buoy and my ex girlfriend? A buoy can be found above the ocean's surface.
- "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Probably photos, reflective surfaces, things of that nature.
- I got in a lot of trouble on a date recently because I didn't open the car door for her Instead I just swam up to the surface
- Gabriel's horn is a geometric figure which has infinite surface area but finite volume This is in contrast to a vuvuzela which has a finite surface area but infinite volume
- U.S. vending machines to begin displaying calorie information to encourage smarter snack choices. Machines' reflective glass surface not doing the trick.
- Flat Earthers vindicated The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated, thus proving the earth is flat.
- My wife got angry at me because I didn't hold the door open for her ....Well I was trying to swim to the surface
- Say what you will about flat earth theory But last time I checked all the water on the surface of the earth isn't carbonated
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Surface One Liners
Which surface one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with surface? I can suggest the ones about aspect and touch.
- I like my oreos like I like my people... ...held under the surface till the bubbles stop.
- Lately I've found my job, building kitchen work surfaces, to be counter productive.
- What type of flower grows in the surface of the sun? An Ultra-Violet
- [Possible OC] What's the worst thing to write in Braille? Caution hot surface
- I got kicked out of Microsoft store ... I was merely scratching the Surface ...
- The scariest warning that you can read in braille "Poisonous surface, do not touch"
- What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store? No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.
- I took a course to learn how to be a DJ It barely scratched the surface, though.
- I demanded a refund for my geology course It was very surface level.
- What is the playing surface of the New Orleans Superdome called? Mardi grass.
- Why do priests explain the bible on surface? Because devil is in details
- There's still a lot to be discovered about Mars We've only scratched the surface.
- It's Sunday, I guess I'll clean some surfaces But I guess that would be counterproductive
- What is the most depressing website on the surface web Your banks website
- What looks good on the surface? That overpriced laptop.
Earth Surface Jokes
Here is a list of funny earth surface jokes and even better earth surface puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- On April 16, 2017, a small French city will detach from the surface of the Earth and fly into space, killing everyone. It's just Toulouse.
Surface Area Jokes
Here is a list of funny surface area jokes and even better surface area puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Surface area if a circle, that is ridiculous! My teacher insists that pi r squared is how to calculate. But everyone knows that Pie are round.
Happy pi day!
Surface Sun Jokes
Here is a list of funny surface sun jokes and even better surface sun puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Elon Musk announced today that SpaceX is no longer planning a trip to Mars and that lucky passengers will instead be launched directly into the surface of the sun.
Surface Tension Jokes
Here is a list of funny surface tension jokes and even better surface tension puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- We had a lesson about surface tension in science class today. It was a little over the top.
Hilarious Surface Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about surface you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean subject jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make surface pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whales
A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...
He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large h**... on his back.
She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed h**... herself.
Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.
Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.
Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!
He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...
As she swam off she said..."I'll h**..., I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T s**... s**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Merkel, Putin and Obama walk along the beach.
Suddenly Obama mentions; "You know, our Navy submarines can submerge for 4 weeks straight!"
Putin grins and says; "Well, our submarines can submerge for 6 weeks straight, they just have to surface for the food!"
Suddenly a Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells "SIEG HEIL! WE RAN OUT OF BENZIN!"
A man runs into his lovers ex...
A man runs into his lovers ex-boyfriend at the bar. The ex says, "how is the old nag?" The man says, " A little banged up on the surface, but down deep, she's good as new!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four gay guys are sitting in a hot tub
When a c**... floats up to the surface.
One says, "Who f**...?"
A new spin on an old cliché
I was sitting on a team call for work. We were discussing team restructuring. The question was asked about team leaders.
My boss said, "The cream will rise to the surface."
I replied, "So will the foam. The insubstantial, shiny bits that disappear completely when placed under any load."
...I need to mute the phone more often.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women like quality agronomy soil...
..good p**... to 8", bare surface, and minimal crust.
A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.
"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."
Polish Space Program
The polish space program recently revealed to the UN that they were preparing to attempt the first manned space mission to the surface of the sun. When asked how they were going to accomplish this feat they answered, "We are going at night".
A surface topologist sits in a coffee shop thinking deeply about his research...
he takes a sip from his doughnut.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Simple instructions from FBI to crack any almost any iPhone.
Drop face-down on hard surface from about 4 feet in the air. That should do the trick.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were cruising around in a pickup truck
As they were crossing a bridge, they lost control of the truck and it plunged into the river below. The redhead quickly opened her door and swam to the surface. The brunette's door was stuck, but she was able to roll down the window and also swam to the surface. The blonde unfortunately drowned - she couldn't get the tailgate down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Five swedish men in a pool
The swedes were swimming and suddenly a c**... popped to the surface of the water.
Directly one of the mans asks: "who f**...?"
A builder came up to me.
He said, "Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"
"Yes," I said. "You just have to balance it on a flat surface."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are two types of Mr. Sheen
One is a surface cleaner, the other is a crack c**... addict.
They say we know more about the surface of Mars than we do about the bottom of the ocean
which is still twice as much as I know about the second page of a Google Search
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The person who created the sign "CAUTION HOT SURFACE"...
...in braille, was an evil genius.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Earth say to Mars when Mars killed the very first human astronauts to land on its surface?
Mars! You are a m**...! You know what? You have no humanity left in you anymore!
They found a cat on mars...
A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman waited to find out the s**... of her baby...
After giving birth in a birthing pool, the baby floated to the surface with no arms or legs.
It's a buoy!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of men from San Francisco were skinny dipping...
When a c**... floated to the surface
"okay guys, who f**...?
My buddy offered my a nonorientable surface
I had to de*klein*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dwarves may seen fine on the surface...
But 6 out 7 aren't actually happy.
What kind of music does an electron leaving a surface with a small work function listen to?
Lo-phi
What did the Solid Surface countertop say to the Stone countertop?
Hey! Don't take me for granite!
I work at a countertop manufacturing company. Thought of this on break earlier. 😃
Did you hear about the detective who dropped his tablet while pondering the case?
It's fine, he had only scratched the Surface.
Just started my job with the local farm, ploughing the fields with a fork, I've so much to learn....
I've barely scratched the surface.
I went out with a girl the other night but I don't think I'll be seeing her again because I didn't open her door
I just swam to the surface
It's a well-known fact that the slogan at the entrance of Auschwitz was the cynical "Work sets you free". Now historians discovered what the sign at the exit read:
"Hot surface, do not touch."
Have there been any new advances in anti-itch skin creams?
It just seems like we've only scratched the surface.
I went diving with a bunch of laundry.
It was wrapped in a waterproof bag. I went in to gaze at the beautiful sealife. When I went back to the surface I noticed some of my clothes were missing.
Let's see I had 8 shirts, 2 socks, and 9 pants prior to diving and now I have 8 shirts, 2 socks, and 3 pants.
My friend asked me
Did you see SpongeBob SquarePants?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The s**... Doo gang returns after a mystery to see that someone had keyed the Mystery Machine
Fred says it's ok gang, they only scratched the surface to this Mystery.
My wife says sorry
Whenever my wife does something wrong or messes up she starts tapping her fingers on the nearest surface in a strange rhythm. Eventually, after she had broken a glass, apologised and I told her it was ok she started tapping away again.
It was getting on my nerves so I decided to ask her. She said
It's my remorse code
My mom told me to wipe all surfaces in the bathroom.
When it came to the windows, I was a surface pro.
A couple goes into a bar
They rub their hands on the rough table surface and fire came up.
I guess they were a match.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girl , are you covid-19 on the surface?
Coz, the chance of catching you is 1 in 10,000 .
I was on a date with a girl who called me shallow.
I was like Yeah, but only on the surface.
One Bill Gates' divorce
According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word. And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn't work together as Teams. On the Surface they were a perfect couple, but deep down there was hardly any Kinect. He kept everything hidden like an X-Box and she never found it re- Azuring Finally she realized there was no Window of opportunity to stay together.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Engineering Joke.
Putin, Biden and Merkel are sitting on a beach after a summit and argue who's country has the best engineers. Putin says: " We make submarine run underwater for 5 five years. No contact to surface." Biden says: "Thats nothing. Ours run for ten years without resurfacing." Merkel just smiles. In this moment a Uboat emerges from the depths and drives up to the beach. A hatch opens, and a man in uniform pops out. He looks at the three, raises an arm and shouts: " Heil h**...! We need fuel!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a crippled man in a wheelchair at a gas station once.
He bought a couple of scratch off lottery tickets, scratched the surface with his coin, and shouted with glee, I won ten thousand dollars! . Well I was broke, and I needed gas money to get to my shift at work. I asked the crippled man, excuse me sir? Is there any possible way I could have ten dollars, just to put into my gas tank so I can get to work? The crippled man stared deeply at me and said, you can have your ten dollars when you pry them from my cold dead hands.
And that's the story of how I got ten thousand dollars.
After running his fingers over the raised Braille lettering on the surface, the blind man looked terrified
A passing man noticed this and asked him, "What did it say ?".
The blind man responded, "RADIOACTIVE. DO NOT TOUCH"
A family of moles wake up from hibernation.
They start digging up to the surface to get some air and stretch their legs. When they arrive, there's a layer of concrete that wasn't there before. They dig around the concrete and Papa mole pokes his head out and smells fresh pancakes.
Oh, they must have built a pancake house up there! It smells great!
Mama mole, right behind Papa, sniffs and says, Oh wow, the syrups smell delicious!
Baby mole, in the hole behind both Papa and Mama says Yuck! All I can smell are molasses from back here!
