The Best 59 Surface Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Surface jokes. There are some surface submerge jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these surface sinks puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Surface Jokes and Puns

My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her.

Instead I just swam for the surface.

Whales

A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...

He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large hump on his back.

She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed hump herself.

Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.

Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.

Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!

He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...

As she swam off she said..."I'll Hump, I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T SWALLOW SEAMEN!

I got in a lot of trouble on a date recently because I didn't open the car door for her

Instead I just swam up to the surface

Surface joke, I got in a lot of trouble on a date recently because I didn't open the car door for her

So Merkel, Putin and Obama walk along the beach.

Suddenly Obama mentions; "You know, our Navy submarines can submerge for 4 weeks straight!"

Putin grins and says; "Well, our submarines can submerge for 6 weeks straight, they just have to surface for the food!"

Suddenly a Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells "SIEG HEIL! WE RAN OUT OF BENZIN!"

A man runs into his lovers ex...

A man runs into his lovers ex-boyfriend at the bar. The ex says, "how is the old nag?" The man says, " A little banged up on the surface, but down deep, she's good as new!"


Four gay guys are sitting in a hot tub

When a condom floats up to the surface.
One says, "Who farted?"

Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.

Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.

Surface joke, Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the mo

I like my oreos like I like my people...

...held under the surface till the bubbles stop.

U.S. vending machines to begin displaying calorie information to encourage smarter snack choices.

Machines' reflective glass surface not doing the trick.

A new spin on an old clichΓ©

I was sitting on a team call for work. We were discussing team restructuring. The question was asked about team leaders.

My boss said, "The cream will rise to the surface."

I replied, "So will the foam. The insubstantial, shiny bits that disappear completely when placed under any load."

...I need to mute the phone more often.

I like my women like quality agronomy soil...

..good penetration to 8", bare surface, and minimal crust.

You can explore surface superficial reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean surface layer dad jokes. There are also surface puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.

"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."

A group of gay men are all sitting stark-naked around a hot tub when a condom floats to the surface.

All of the men stare at the condom before one finally says, "Alright, who farted?"

What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?

No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.

Polish Space Program

The polish space program recently revealed to the UN that they were preparing to attempt the first manned space mission to the surface of the sun. When asked how they were going to accomplish this feat they answered, "We are going at night".

What is the playing surface of the New Orleans Superdome called?

Mardi grass.

Surface joke, What is the playing surface of the New Orleans Superdome called?

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were cruising around in a pickup truck

As they were crossing a bridge, they lost control of the truck and it plunged into the river below. The redhead quickly opened her door and swam to the surface. The brunette's door was stuck, but she was able to roll down the window and also swam to the surface. The blonde unfortunately drowned - she couldn't get the tailgate down.

Five swedish men in a pool

The swedes were swimming and suddenly a condom popped to the surface of the water.

Directly one of the mans asks: "who farted?"

A builder came up to me.

He said, "Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"

"Yes," I said. "You just have to balance it on a flat surface."


Four naked guys are sitting in a hot tub.

All of a sudden, a condom floats to the surface. After a few seconds of stares and silence, one of the guys asks, "Alright, who farted?"

On April 16, 2017, a small French city will detach from the surface of the Earth and fly into space, killing everyone.

It's just Toulouse.

They say we know more about the surface of Mars than we do about the bottom of the ocean

which is still twice as much as I know about the second page of a Google Search

The person who created the sign "CAUTION HOT SURFACE"...

...in braille, was an evil genius.

Two nuns are riding back to the church when one decides to take a shortcut.

The way that they turn down is an old cobblestone road. As they traverse the uneven surface that is rattling their teeth out, the one nun asked the other, have you come this way before? Of course! why do you think I come down here...

They found a cat on mars...

A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

A woman waited to find out the sex of her baby...

After giving birth in a birthing pool, the baby floated to the surface with no arms or legs.

It's a buoy!

My wife got angry at me because I didn't hold the door open for her

....Well I was trying to swim to the surface

I got kicked out of Microsoft store ...

I was merely scratching the Surface ...

What's the difference between a buoy and my ex girlfriend?

A buoy can be found above the ocean's surface.

A group of men from San Francisco were skinny dipping...

When a Condom floated to the surface

"okay guys, who farted?

Gabriel's horn is a geometric figure which has infinite surface area but finite volume

This is in contrast to a vuvuzela which has a finite surface area but infinite volume

My girlfriend was mad because I didn't open the car door for her.

I just swam to the surface.

Life was recently discovered on Mars.

NASA had recently sent more cameras to monitor the surface of Mars when they came across a creature that they had never seen before. Due to it's large ears and long tail they decided that this was some new form of feline species. However, upon closer inspection they found that this creature was not moving and in fact had large tire marks across it's back. Based on these findings NASA had but one unfortunate observation to make.

"Curiosity killed the cat"

My wife isn't speaking to me because I didn't open the car door for her...

I guess I just panicked and swam to the surface.

[Possible OC] What's the worst thing to write in Braille?

Caution hot surface

My first attempts at self harming were limited to say the least.

I barely scratched the surface.

Have there been any new advances in anti-itch skin creams?

It just seems like we've only scratched the surface.

Why do priests explain the bible on surface?

Because devil is in details

I went diving with a bunch of laundry.

It was wrapped in a waterproof bag. I went in to gaze at the beautiful sealife. When I went back to the surface I noticed some of my clothes were missing.

Let's see I had 8 shirts, 2 socks, and 9 pants prior to diving and now I have 8 shirts, 2 socks, and 3 pants.

My friend asked me

Did you see SpongeBob SquarePants?

The Scooby Doo gang returns after a mystery to see that someone had keyed the Mystery Machine

Fred says it's ok gang, they only scratched the surface to this Mystery.

My mom told me to wipe all surfaces in the bathroom.

When it came to the windows, I was a surface pro.

What type of flower grows in the surface of the sun?

An Ultra-Violet

Not good at relationships

My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her... instead, I swam up to the surface.

Gabriel's Horn is a geometric figure formed by rotating f(x)=1/x about the x axis. It has finite volume, but infinite surface area.

This is the complete opposite of the Vuvuzela, which has a finite surface area, but infinite volume

A couple goes into a bar

They rub their hands on the rough table surface and fire came up.

I guess they were a match.

The scariest warning that you can read in braille

"Poisonous surface, do not touch"

Girl , are you covid-19 on the surface?

Coz, the chance of catching you is 1 in 10,000 .

I was on a date with a girl who called me shallow.

I was like Yeah, but only on the surface.

I was showing my friend my new golf ball.

I was showing my friend my new golf ball.
"It's impossible to lose," I said. "If you hit it into the rough it sends out a GPS signal so you can track it down."
"That's great," he replied, "but what happens if you it hit into the water?"
"Simple. The ball floats to the surface and tracks its way back toward you and you just scoop it back out."
"Brilliant!" he said, "Where did you get it?"
"I found it."

One Bill Gates' divorce

According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word. And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn't work together as Teams. On the Surface they were a perfect couple, but deep down there was hardly any Kinect. He kept everything hidden like an X-Box and she never found it re- Azuring Finally she realized there was no Window of opportunity to stay together.

An Engineering Joke.

Putin, Biden and Merkel are sitting on a beach after a summit and argue who's country has the best engineers. Putin says: " We make submarine run underwater for 5 five years. No contact to surface." Biden says: "Thats nothing. Ours run for ten years without resurfacing." Merkel just smiles. In this moment a Uboat emerges from the depths and drives up to the beach. A hatch opens, and a man in uniform pops out. He looks at the three, raises an arm and shouts: " Heil Hitler! We need fuel!"

I demanded a refund for my geology course

It was very surface level.

I saw a crippled man in a wheelchair at a gas station once.

He bought a couple of scratch off lottery tickets, scratched the surface with his coin, and shouted with glee, I won ten thousand dollars! . Well I was broke, and I needed gas money to get to my shift at work. I asked the crippled man, excuse me sir? Is there any possible way I could have ten dollars, just to put into my gas tank so I can get to work? The crippled man stared deeply at me and said, you can have your ten dollars when you pry them from my cold dead hands.

And that's the story of how I got ten thousand dollars.

Say what you will about flat earth theory

But last time I checked all the water on the surface of the earth isn't carbonated

Flat Earthers vindicated

The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated, thus proving the earth is flat.

The Earth's surface is 70% water.

That water is uncarbonated. Therefore, the Earth is flat.

I took a course to learn how to be a DJ

It barely scratched the surface, though.

The Earth is flat

Over 70% of its surface is water, and none of it is carbonated.

Surface area if a circle, that is ridiculous!

My teacher insists that pi r squared is how to calculate. But everyone knows that Pie are round.

Happy pi day!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the surface minimal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working surface zoom piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes