The Best 27 Surely Win Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Surely Win jokes. There are some surely win jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these surely win puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Surely Win Jokes and Puns

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.

MAN, I sure am LUCKY!

I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!

The president of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody is sure who is going to win. In other words...

Trump may trump May. May may trump Trump.

Tonight, I will be judging the "World's Largest Ribeye" competition. I am not sure who will win.

But the steaks are huge.

I sure hope Roy Moore wins today

Alabama needs a congressman who isn't afraid to get his hands on the issues before they get too big.

A man is on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and is at the million dollar question.

The question is "which of these birds doesn't build its own nest? a.the cuckoo b. the sparrow c. the eagle or d. the red-tailed hawk. He only has "phone a friend left", so he calls his friend and repeats the question. His friend immediately says it's the cuckoo. The guy asks if he's sure and he says "yes, positive". The guy answers the cuckoo and wins a million dollars. When he goes to thank his friend the next day, he asks "how did you the cuckoo doesn't built it's own nest?" and the friend replied "Because it lives in a clock, duh!"


I always make sure I get stoned before I go to an auction.

That way even if I don't win anything, I'm always the highest bidder.

I wasn't sure about doing a charity marathon but...

I realised it was for disabled people so I thought I had a good chance of winning

1st thing to do when you win the lottery

A man bursts through his front door with a look of excitement on his face. He runs to his wife.

"Honey, pack your bags. I just won the lottery!" he exclaims.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" she claps her hands, "where are we going?"

"I don't care where you go, just make sure you're out of here by tomorrow morning."

Back Together Again

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.
MAN, I sure am LUCKY!
I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!

Just made a bet with my mate about who would get married first

He said may the best man win.

I said I'm not sure that's how this works mate.

Rap Battle

Hey, can you pick me up from my rap battle?, It's over.

Sure, did you win?

No..no, I lost

What went wrong?

Well grandma, they saw you drop me off and did a pretty devastating rhyme about it.

You can explore surely win reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean surely win dad jokes. There are also surely win puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon

I'll be sure to let you know which one wins so we can settle this once and for all.

I just entered a blindfold masturbating contest, but I didn't win

I'm not sure where I came

[NSFW] A knight won a jousting tournament

The princess hosting the tournament said "For winning the joust, I shall reward you according to how your name sounds"

The knight replied "Are you sure milady?"

The princess answered "Of course! The previous winner, Silvers Crowne was granted a silver crown like what his name sounds. Now, tell me your name champion."

The knight proudly announced "Milady, my name is Sir Pryce Eynil!!"

2016: Surely Donald Trump won't win

2017: He can't do that... right?

2018: I hope my district wins the Hunger Games!

Apparently Bill Clinton is so

sure that Hillary is going to win that he stopped at the tobacco store and bought a box of cigars. He has interviews scheduled for his new interns all day.

I entered a pun competition

Being a competitive sort, I scoured my brains for my very best puns, sorting them and analysing them by punningness, and finally submitting my very best top ten puns. I was sure I would win, or at least one would make the medals table.

But unfortunately no pun in ten did.

daily commute

I'm not sure if people don't sit next to me on the train because I'm black, or because I look Muslim. It's a win for me either way.

The judge asked the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?"

"I do."
"And do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?"
"Sure. My side will win."


Donald Trump goes to the Wizard of Oz for some help...

He tells the wizard, "I have the best brains, the best heart and the best courage of anyone, but if I'm going to win this election I need to make sure that everyone knows."

The Wizard of Oz looks at him and says, "so you don't need brains, heart or courage? You just need to convince others that you have all three?

The Wizard digs around in a bag and pulls out a bumper sticker. "Here, put this on your car."

Biden 2020

How does Bigfoot know what time it is?

He looks at his sasquatch.



I made this up at work. It's a dad-joke for sure. I googled it and found no record of it.



What do I win?

How do you make sure the God of Death wins a foot race?

Start smoking. It leads to a quicker Death.

2 suicidal friends bob and dan are sitting at a table

Bob: hey Dan wanna die?
Dan: sure
Bob: here you go
Dan:*rolls die* I win

Why did the Quantum Computer win the presidential election?

Because for the first time in history ***nobody*** could ever be sure what values it held

Winning the lottery

Wife: Do you think we'll win the lottery this week? Other people win it all the time, so why can't we?

Husband: Sure, we have as good a chance of winning as the winners do.

I think Bernie would win for sure if he had served in the military and reached the rank of Colonel

And he would be sure to get the black vote.

Star football player Steve was about to be sacked for bad grades . . .

. . . but the team was on a winning streak, and he was badly needed. The head coach pleaded with the college president, and managed to convince him to allow the student to continue to play if he could spell just one word correctly. "Okay, Steve," the coach told him. "It's an easy one. Just spell the name of your favorite drink." "Sure coach. Khaphy."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the surely win jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working surely win piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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