Suprised Jokes
37 suprised jokes and hilarious suprised puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about suprised that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Suprised Short Jokes
Short suprised jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The suprised humour may include short yea jokes also.
- A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar... The bar tender suprised says "Huh, where'd you get him?"
"Africa" said the parrot - A magician lost a leg during his performance. The audience was suprised he could pull it off.
- When people ask me where I got my well drawn tattoo, their always suprised when I say i got it in Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
- The kids were really suprised when I put ginger in their curry... ...they really *did* love that cat.
> Stolen from a recent episode of *Match Of The Day* - My girlfriend said she dosent want to be with me anymore I was very suprised that my right hand can talk
- Analysts are suprised Chris Christie ran for president in the first place They thought he'd walk
- Did you hear that Tote's have brought out a line of spherical candies of suprisingly high quality? They're totes amazeballs.
- Chivalry I want to name my child Chivalry. Because I am not good and taking care of children. So no one will be suprised when I say Chivalry is dead.
- What do you call the element of suprise? The Spanish Inquisition
- I threw my blind girlfriend a suprise bukakke party... You should have seen her face. She didn't see it coming.
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Suprised One Liners
Which suprised one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with suprised? I can suggest the ones about aghast and profusely.
- Scientists have discovered the new element AH The element of suprise
- Turns out I am adopted! suprised my dads never told me
- I told my sister she'd drawn her eyebrows on too high she looked suprised
- 2 blondes walk into a bar Im still suprised neither one of them saw it
- I ate so much at Thanksgiving, I had to loosen my Fitbit.
- How do u say suprise in german? Blitzkrieg
- What do you get when you put a lift kit on a supra Suprised
I'll see myself out. - I was suprised Green Bay lost. I thought Aaron Rodgers had a shot.
- Why cant you suprise a snow man? Because its an inanimate object.
- What did the vampire say when he saw a pregnant woman? Kinder Suprise.
- So America won gold for shooting in the Olympics. No suprise there.
- A blind girl went to a suprise bukakke party... She didn't know what came over her.
- Want to know the top 10 facts about diarrhoea? Number 2 will suprise you!
- I had a suprise test at school today I was totally surprised
- What did they Gengar do to the Vanillish? Used Lick, it was suprisingly effective.
Uproarious Suprised Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about suprised you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean newt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make suprised pranks.
I did a suprise b**... party for my wife...
Everybody came. You should have seen her face!
So the pope coes to New York...
and flags a taxi. The taxi is extremely suprised to see the pope, and quickly ushers him into his cab. After a few minutes of silence, the pope says to the taxi driver "You know, being the pope, I've always have people drive me places, and I rarely get the chance to drive myself. Would you mind if I got behind the wheel for a little while?" Not wanting to say no to the pope, the taxi driver lets him drive. They get pulled over by the police soon after, since the pope was driving way over the speed limit. The officee walks up to the cab, is about to give them ticket, until he sees the pope. Not sure of what to do in this sitution, he calls his superior. "Sir, I just pulled over this guy for speeding, and he's *really* important. What do I do?" "Well who is the guy, the mayor?" "Nah, bigger than that" " Is he a movie star?" " No, way bigger than that" "Is he the president?" "No, he's bigger than that" "Well then who is he!?" "I dunno, but he's got the pope driving for him!"
A Politician wanted to build a bridge
A Politician wanted to build a bridge.
So, he calls 3 engineeering firms. One is Chinese, other is American and the last one is Brazillian.
The politician calls the heads of all the 3 firms to his office.
He asks the Chinese head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He says, "3 Million Dollar. 1 Million for the workers, 1 Million for materials, 1 million for the profit."
The Politician asks the American head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He says, "6 Million Dollars. 2 Million for the workers, 2 Million for materials, 2 million for the profit."
Finally, the Politician asks the Brazillian head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He replies, "9 Million Dollars."
Suprised, the Politician asks him, "Why? Why so much?"
To which he replies, "3 Million for me, 3 Million for you, and 3 Million for the Chinese guy to build the bridge."
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
I went to the movies and there was a man who brought his dog into the theater with him.
After the movie, I went up to the man and I said "Hey this might sound weird, but it seemed like your dog was really enjoying the movie." The man said "Yeah, I'm suprised too, because he *hated* the book!"
I asked my daughter if she knew what today was.
To my suprise she said presidents day.
I asked her if she knew why we celebrate presidents day.
She said that its the day the president walks out of the white house and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of bull s**....
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer...
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "I would like to ask a few questions", said the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "But I have to charge you $200 to answer 2 questions" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" said the suprised client. "Yes it certainly is", said the lawyer, "And what's your second question?"
Irish guy in a parking lo
theres an Irish guy driving through a packed parking lot. Upset, he shouts "dear lord, if ya help me find a parkin spot I swear on me moothers grave that I will give up mah whiskey." Just then a car backed out of a spot in front of him. Suprised, he then shouts "Nevermind lord, I found one!"
I'm suprised that there aren't more fat l**......
All they ever talk about is eating out.
The worm experiment
In front of her 4th grade class a teacher takes 4 glasses and fills them up with brandy, wine, beer and water. Then she puts a worm inside each one and let them sit for the night.
The day after she shows to the students each glass and, without any suprise, all worm but the one in the water are stone dead.
"So - she ask the students - what did this experiment teach us?"
From the back of the class the hand of Little Johnny rises up.
"Well, Miss, this experiment taught me that, if I drink brandy, wine or beer, I'll never get worms!"
My friend Jack …
… woke up on January 1st 2021, glanced over at his wife Edna and was suprised to see that she looked weirdly pixelated.
Oh my god! he yelped with a look of confusion and growing concern on his face, What happened last night?!
Seeing his expression, Edna reached over to give him a hug saying, Oh don't worry honey, this is just my New Year's resolution!
A farmer at the dinner table with his 2 daughters and his son
The farmer is sitting at the dinner table enjoying his meal. When 1 of his daughters speaks up: "Dad I have to confess something ...". "I'm lesbian". The farmer is a bit suprised but replies with: "That's ok darling". Then the second daughter also speaks up: "Euhh I'm also lesbian". To wich the farmer replies: "Does nobody in this house like boys"? To wich the son slowly raises his hand.
Suprised that Epstine commited s**...?
So was he!
