The Best 23 Suprised Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Suprised jokes. There are some suprised heineken jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these suprised newt puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Suprised Jokes and Puns
A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar...
The bar tender suprised says "Huh, where'd you get him?"
"Africa" said the parrot
A magician lost a leg during his performance.
The audience was suprised he could pull it off.
So the pope coes to New York...
and flags a taxi. The taxi is extremely suprised to see the pope, and quickly ushers him into his cab. After a few minutes of silence, the pope says to the taxi driver "You know, being the pope, I've always have people drive me places, and I rarely get the chance to drive myself. Would you mind if I got behind the wheel for a little while?" Not wanting to say no to the pope, the taxi driver lets him drive. They get pulled over by the police soon after, since the pope was driving way over the speed limit. The officee walks up to the cab, is about to give them ticket, until he sees the pope. Not sure of what to do in this sitution, he calls his superior. "Sir, I just pulled over this guy for speeding, and he's *really* important. What do I do?" "Well who is the guy, the mayor?" "Nah, bigger than that" " Is he a movie star?" " No, way bigger than that" "Is he the president?" "No, he's bigger than that" "Well then who is he!?" "I dunno, but he's got the pope driving for him!"
A Politician wanted to build a bridge
A Politician wanted to build a bridge.
So, he calls 3 engineeering firms. One is Chinese, other is American and the last one is Brazillian.
The politician calls the heads of all the 3 firms to his office.
He asks the Chinese head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He says, "3 Million Dollar. 1 Million for the workers, 1 Million for materials, 1 million for the profit."
The Politician asks the American head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He says, "6 Million Dollars. 2 Million for the workers, 2 Million for materials, 2 million for the profit."
Finally, the Politician asks the Brazillian head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He replies, "9 Million Dollars."
Suprised, the Politician asks him, "Why? Why so much?"
To which he replies, "3 Million for me, 3 Million for you, and 3 Million for the Chinese guy to build the bridge."
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer...
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "I would like to ask a few questions", said the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "But I have to charge you $200 to answer 2 questions" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" said the suprised client. "Yes it certainly is", said the lawyer, "And what's your second question?"
Turns out I am adopted!
suprised my dads never told me
Irish guy in a parking lo
theres an Irish guy driving through a packed parking lot. Upset, he shouts "dear lord, if ya help me find a parkin spot I swear on me moothers grave that I will give up mah whiskey." Just then a car backed out of a spot in front of him. Suprised, he then shouts "Nevermind lord, I found one!"
I'm suprised that there aren't more fat lesbians...
All they ever talk about is eating out.
When people ask me where I got my well drawn tattoo, their always suprised when I say i got it in Spain.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
My friend Jack …
… woke up on January 1st 2021, glanced over at his wife Edna and was suprised to see that she looked weirdly pixelated.
Oh my god! he yelped with a look of confusion and growing concern on his face, What happened last night?!
Seeing his expression, Edna reached over to give him a hug saying, Oh don't worry honey, this is just my New Year's resolution!
A farmer at the dinner table with his 2 daughters and his son
The farmer is sitting at the dinner table enjoying his meal. When 1 of his daughters speaks up: "Dad I have to confess something ...". "I'm lesbian". The farmer is a bit suprised but replies with: "That's ok darling". Then the second daughter also speaks up: "Euhh I'm also lesbian". To wich the farmer replies: "Does nobody in this house like boys"? To wich the son slowly raises his hand.
You can explore suprised drink reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean suprised profusely dad jokes. There are also suprised puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Suprised that Epstine commited suicide?
So was he!
The kids were really suprised when I put ginger in their curry...
...they really *did* love that cat.
> Stolen from a recent episode of *Match Of The Day*
What do you get when you put a lift kit on a supra
Suprised
I'll see myself out.
A young bear cub was roaming the jungle . An animal he had never seen before comes strolling out of the trees.
He asks " excuse me what kind of animal are you?"
The animal replys
" well, I am a tiger"
The bear acts suprised and says " are you sure? You don't look like a tiger."
The tiger says " Do you think I'm a lyin?"
I was suprised Green Bay lost.
I thought Aaron Rodgers had a shot.
Trump walks into a bar and Is suprised to see the bartender is a genie
The genie says "what'll you have?" Trump says"give me something I'll regret in the morning" The genie gives him a conscience, empathy, and humility.
A police man finds a couple sitting in the park late night.
Suprised , he asks them what they are doing there .
The man replies that they both are married.
' Then why don't you go home and spend some time there together ? ' the cop asked.
The man replies ' Yeah , but who the hell would convince my wife to allow her ? '
My girlfriend said she dosent want to be with me anymore
I was very suprised that my right hand can talk
Analysts are suprised Chris Christie ran for president in the first place
They thought he'd walk
The fastest thing.
Three friends are having a conversation. One guy asks, 'What do you think is the fastest thing ever?'. The first guy responds 'It's the light'. The second guy goes 'It's thought'. The third guy responds 'It's diarrhea'. The first guy is suprised and asks 'Why is diarrhea the fastest?'. The third guy responds 'Because even before I thought about turning the lights on in the washroom, I shat myself.
Chivalry
I want to name my child Chivalry. Because I am not good and taking care of children. So no one will be suprised when I say Chivalry is dead.
What did the suprised Muslim say?
Holy Shi'ite!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the suprised geologist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working suprised abracadabra piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.