The Best 87 Supreme Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Supreme jokes. There are some supreme bib jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these supreme supremacy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Supreme Jokes and Puns
Why do North Koreans draw lines so well?
They have a Supreme Ruler.
What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?
A supreme liter
yesterday, Judge Thompson issued the longest sentence in the Supreme Court's history,
needless to say, it was run-on.
A right-wing law firm is trying to overturn Roe v Wade.
They find their test plaintiff, a man whose daughter had gotten an abortion after he forbade it. The firm sues the doctors, and the appeals go all the way to the Supreme Court, exactly as intended. The Court even agrees to hear the case ... only to uphold Roe v Wade, 5 - 4.
All in all, it was a classic case of abort, retry, fail.
God is in an argument with Jehovah...
about which one of their faiths is the true one.
"That's it, I've had it with this! I am taking the matter to the supreme court." he said
"I'd like to see you try." said Jehovah. "I have witnesses."
Baked Beans.
One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
whats the difference between Court and Supreme Court?
Supreme Court comes with sour cream and guac.
A Big Gulp in a North Korean 7-11 should be called a "Supreme Litre."
Kim Jong-un read War and Peace in a day.
At least I think that's why they call him Supreme Reader.
TIL Supreme Court judge kidnapped by cannibals in the Caribbean!
Justice was served.
What do you call a fat North Korean?
Supreme Leader.
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A reporter from North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer...
A reporter from a North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer, "Would you give your mansion to the supreme leader if you had one?"
The farmer answers, "Yes, of course I would!"
"If you had one million dollar, would you give it to the supreme leader, too?"
"Yes, absolutely!"
"How about five cows, would you give them to the supreme leader?"
The farmer hesitates, then answers, "No..."
The reporter is confused, "you would give a mansion and one million dollar to the supreme leader, why would you not give only five cows? Is it because you think cows can't match the highness of the supreme leader?"
"Well, yes... and also I really do have five cows..."
President Obama announces his intention to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court
"I can't wait until I'm in a position to have a real impact on the country!" said an excited Obama.
What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?
Row v. Wade
What do you call a dictator running a bookshop?
The Supreme Reader.
Why does Kim Jong Un love books?
Because he is the Supreme Reader.
Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?
Because they rain supreme.
Why was the hamster a bad Supreme Court Justice?
Because his mind was always on a pellet.
Why are the literacy rates in North Korea so low?
Because there can only be *one* supreme reader.
Rumor has it there's a basketball court on the roof of the Supreme Court building.
It's the highest court in the land.
I hear Kim Jung-Un has read every book ever written...
That's why they call him the Supreme Reader.
Did you know that Kim Jong Un has read every book in existance?
Thats why they call him the Supreme Reader
They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book
That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader
I heard that Kim Jong Un invented Adobe Acrobat...
...Or maybe they're both just supreme readers.
Allegedly, Kim Jong Un is Known for Reading Every Book in the World
No wonder why everyone calls him the supreme reader!
Supreme Court
Is just regular court with sour cream and tomatoes.
Who is the Supreme leader of House Techno Music?
Kim Jong Untz-untz-untz-untz
How did Kim Jong Un learn every word in the English dictionary in one day?
He's the Supreme reader.
What was Kim Jong Un's favorite class in school?
Literature. He is a supreme reader after all.
Why do all North Koreans look alike?
Because they have a supreme breeder.
What do you call the best baker in the world?
The Supreme Kneader
Which country has the most expensive stationary?
North Korea, they have a supreme ruler.
How much soda does Kim Jung Un drink in a day?
A Supreme Liter.
Why is North Korea's literacy rate so high?
Because they have a supreme reader
Why is Kim Jong-un so smart?
Because he is Supreme Reader
Why does Kim Jong-un have such a huge library?
He is Supreme Reader
Why does North Korea order so many books?
Because they have a Supreme Reader
Why is Kim Jong-Un such a good gardener?
Cause he's the supreme weeder.
IPhone X sales have dropped in North-Korea..
Apparently one supreme face unlocks them all......
Why does North Korea use the metric system?
How else will they have a Supreme Liter?
I was talking to a North Korean about freedom
I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an asshole!'"
The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an asshole!'"
What is Kim Jong-Un's favorite beverage size?
A supreme liter.
I just saw a picture of Kim Jong-un wearing glasses
He looks like a supreme reader.
Why are the gardens of Pyongyang so immaculate?
Because they have a supreme weeder.
People keep talking about the future of the US Supreme Court
They're afraid it's going to be completely ruthless.
What is Zamasu's favorite tea to down?
Supreme Chai
Did you hear about the supreme court justice who was caught stealing the scraps from restaurant booths?
Police identified her as Booth Raider Ginsburg.
I just read an article in the news that Kim Jong Un reads more than 1,000 books a year...
I guess that's why they call him the Supreme Reader.
Why is North Korea so accurate at measuring microscopic distances?
They have a supreme ruler
It is said that Kim Jong Un has read all the books in the world.
That's why he is called the supreme reader!
With this new Janus Supreme Court Decision
A lot of Conservatives are finally going to be able to secede from the Union.
What's a North Korean's favorite drink?
A supreme liter
Terrorists have kidnapped our beloved "supreme leader".
Now they are demanding 1 billion or they will burn him with petrol. Please donate whatever you can.
P.S. I ve donated 5 litres.
Picking a Supreme Court Justice is a lot like crossing a river...
It all comes down to Roe v Wade
What's Papa John's favorite pizza?
The White Supreme
Why is everyone in North Korea illiterate?
Because there can only be one Supreme Reader.
How does North Korea have such great libraries?
They have a supreme reader
How do north Koreans catch fish so well?
They have Supreme Master Baiter!
Why are drinks so large in Korea?
They have a supreme liter
If Mexico sends their rapists to the United States, where does the United States send theirs?
To the Supreme Court.
Why are North Koreans required to give their books to Kim Jong-un?
Because he is their Supreme Reader
Brett Kavanaugh has stated that he will not be pressured into withdrawing his Supreme Court bid by the allegations made against him.
He sounds like the kind of guy who just won't take 'no' for an answer.
Donald Trump better not remove Justice Ginsberg from the supreme court.
that would be ruthless
Donald Trump's first summit with Kim Jong-un was only to get feedback about the quality of his tweets.
Who better to ask than the Supreme Reader?
Why was the Soviet Union so good at Geometry?
Because they had a Supreme Ruler.
Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?
Because they have a supreme ruler
Why is North Korea so good at geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler!
Is it just me, or is the US Supreme Court getting increasingly brutal?
Ruthless, even.
A rapist, a plagiarist, and a cult member walk into a bar...
Oh wait, I meant the Supreme Court.
This joke reigns supreme
Lately I've noticed that the Supreme Court has been more ruthless than usual.
Why are lines in North Korea so straight?
Because they have a supreme ruler
Breaking News: Supreme court has ruled that basic intelligence tests for Election voting is Discriminatory.
The judge said that it is unfair to block all Republicans from voting.
Where do pints go to settle their legal troubles?
The Supreme Quart
What is the only sized soft drink you can order in North Korea?
Supreme Liter.
Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.
He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."
Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."
Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"
The student replies "An orphan."
It's crazy that they only have one unit of measurement in North Korea.
A supreme liter
The Supreme Court is…
Ruthless.
A flat Earther goes to heaven.
A flat Earther dies while trying to fly in a homemade rocket and goes to heaven. There he meets up with God and says, "Oh Supreme Lord!! Tell me with utmost honesty. Is Earth round or flat ? "
God replies, "It is round, my dear child."
The flat earther thinks, " Wow ! This whole thing goes much higher than I thought."
What was the Supreme Court ruling on constipation?
It's unconstitutional.
The first female president is being sworn in.
Her Jewish mother is sitting in the second row next to a Supreme Court Justice, watching. The judge leans over and says, "Madam, you must be VERY proud."
The mother says, "Well, you see that girl with her hand on the Bible? Her brother's a doctor."
Why is the North Korean National library so big?
Because Kim Jong-Un is a supreme reader!
Library of Congress bomber…
Yesterday's attempted bomber said there are 4 more bombs planted in DC. After botching bombing Congress by showing up at the Library of Congress, the FBI has ordered the immediate evacuation of :
-the Richmond Mall's Supreme Food Court
-The Hexagon Building on Connecticut Ave
-International House of Pancakes
-literally anyone with a white house.
Why does Kim Jong Un have such a big library?
Because he's Supreme Reader
Probably done before: What's a pirate's LEAST favourite letter?
Dear Mr Redbeard,
It has come to our attention that you have been illegally duplicating and reselling copywrited movies without permission.
As such, and utilising the full jurisdiction of the Federal Communications Authority, you are subpoenaed to appear before the Federal Supreme Court to face charges on the time and date so indicated below.
Regards,
J. L. Peabody
Chief Video Piracy Investigator
An American and a Soviet Russian were discussing the benefits of each country.
The American says "I like America because if I don't like the way things are going, I can walk into the White House, go up to the president's desk, and say 'Mr. President, I don't like the way you're running this country'
The Russian says "It's the same in the USSR! If I don't like the way things are going, I can go to the Kremlin Presidium, walk right up to the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet, and say 'Members of the Presidium, I do not like the way that the American president is running his country'"
A District Court judge, a Circuit Court judge, and a Supreme Court justice are sitting at a bar
The District Court judge says, "I interpret the Constitution the way I read it."
The Circuit Court judge says, "I interpret the Constitution the way it's written."
The Supreme Court justice says, "The Constitution isn't anything, until I interpret it."
(original joke was three umpires talking about calling strikes)
Americans will never switch to the metric system
It keeps getting struck down by the Supreme Quart.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the supreme dmz jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working supreme pyongyang piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.