The Best 91 Support Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Support jokes. There are some support endorse jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these support encouragement puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Support Jokes and Puns
If I'm ever on life support, unplug me...
Then plug me back in, see if that works.
Why can't Lebron James stand on his tippy toes?
He gets no support from his Cavs
I got into a big argument with my girlfriend and she screamed, "You're just using me for sex!"
I replied, "Well what you expect?"
"Love and support!" She shouted in response.
"You're just using me for love and support!" I yelled.
Computer joke of the day!
>Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."
Tech Support
USER: I can't get on the Internet.
SUPPORT: Are you sure you used the right password?
USER: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
SUPPORT: Can you tell me what the password was?
USER: Five dots.
Stand by your man
The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "My dearest, you have been with me all through the bad times. When I was laid off, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?," she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
When I worked as Tech Support for an ISP I had a woman call outraged that we allowed "filth" on her computer...
After she calmed down slightly she explained that her 10 year old Granddaughter was sleeping over and they were having a "Spa Night" and did a web search on "Facials". . . .I was able to hit the mute button in time to avoid making matters far worse... True Story!
Password reset
A man was was unable to log into his online banking account and he pulled up the online chat support.
"I put in my password and I cannot access my account"
"Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one."
"Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?"
"No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one."
"Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty well?"
"Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire every 90 days."
"Can I use the old one and just re-register it?"
"No, you must get a new one."
"I don't want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember."
"Sorry, you must get a new one."
"OK, roses."
"Sorry you must use more letters."
"OK, pretty roses"
"No good, you must use at least one numerical character."
"OK, 1 pretty rose"
"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."
"OK, 1prettyrose"
"Sorry, you must use additional characters."
"OK, 1fuckingprettyrose"
"Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter."
"OK,1FUCKINGprettyrose"
"Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row."
"OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose"
"Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters."
"OK, 1Fuckingprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon'tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow"
"Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used"
So I've got some buddies...
They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical marijuana to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.
"Your generation is too reliant on technology," my grandfather said to me.
"No, YOUR generation is too reliant on technology!" I said as I pulled the plug of his life support in order to further prove my point.
I'll never forget my Grandfather's last words to me...
"no the top one is your iphone charger, the bottom one is my life support." or something like that.
You can explore support spiritually reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean support gop dad jokes. There are also support puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Coffee Joke [OC]
So the coffee asked the creamer, "Are you outraged by our working conditions too, or do you support management?"
The creamer replied, "I'm half and half."
^^^I'm ^^^Sorry.
If I'm ever on life support, I want you to pull up he plug...
Then wait 10 seconds and plug it back in, maybe that'll work.
There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery...
The head of the group walks in and says, "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
I was talking to my grandfather
When he said
"your generation relies too much on technology"
I then said
" no grandpa yours does"
Then I unplugged his life support.
There is now a bipartisan push to legalize medical marijuana to relieve arthiritis.
In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.
Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop...
To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."
My grandpa said "your life revolves too much around technology.
Then I said, "no, yours does." Then I unplugged his life support.
I am starting a support group for guys dealing with Autoerotic Asphyxiation.
Our motto is: "Hang in there, we can beat it."
Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a bakery...
To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."
(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)
What's the most-clicked link on the Alzheimer's support website?
Forgot Your Password?
If I am ever in a coma on life support I want my family to unplug me...
And then plug me back in. See if that works.
Your generation relies too much on technology.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
Dads
(Dad support group)
Hi, I'm dad
"Hi dad, I'm dad"
*room breaks into laughter*
*dads starts building a shed together*
Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people.
We haven't met yet.
Husband in coma
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck."
What bounces and makes kids cry?
My child support checks.
What has four wheels and can't support a family?
A liberal arts major.
I lied about the wheels.
I'm really conflicted about abortion.
I support killing babies, but I don't support giving women a choice.
I named my first dog "What".
Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked "What is the name of your first pet?" and I kept answering "Yes."
Welcome to the Alzheimer's information support page...
...please enter your 17 digit password.
Programming is like sex
One mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime.
That's the difference between tech support and a mass shooter?
One is a troubleshooter, while the other is a troubled shooter.
I run a support group for premature ejaculators every Tuesday.
Officially it starts at seven, but everyone comes early.
I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns.
It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops.
There's a bipartisan group petitioning for medical marijuana as an option for arthritis patients.
In other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support.
Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritic pain.
In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.
I wonder if mormons support the transgendered?
If they did, they could go on a transmission!
-- authentic dadjoke overheard at breakfast
I created an Erectile Dysfunction support group once,
But it flopped,
Nobody came
I go to a muscular dystrophy support group.
We meet weakly.
A Blonde calls tech support
She is told that in order to get help, they need her password.
She says that the password is "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had chosen such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
I'm furious! racist tech support just called me asian
All I said was my drivers keep crashing
My Grandfather told me my generation is to reliant on technology.
I told him, "no Grandpa, yours does." Then I unplugged his life support.
What do you call a family member who doesn't support their arguments with evidence?
Just cuz.
(I came up with this just now and I'm so proud of it and I haven't slept in 3 days)
I support the CIA.
I bought a Samsung tv.
Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?
He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.
It was very difficult to switch off my wife's life support system.
You try fighting off 2 nurses, a doctor and my sons.
I treat my family like dogs.
With financial support and unconditional love.
My Grandpa said, " Your generation relies too much on technology. I'm doing you a favor" as he tossed my phone into the toilet.
I laughed, and replied "No Grandpa, but yours does," as I unplugged his life support.
What's the difference between a philosophy major and a picnic table?
A picnic table can support a family.
There's a support group dedicated to those addicted to plastic surgery...
The leader walks in and says "Wow, I see a lot of new faces. I have to say I'm disappointed!"
How many tech support reps does it take to change a light bulb?
I'm sorry, this isn't the right department to give you the answer to that question. Let me transfer you to another sub, hold please....
If communism doesn't work, why do so many people still support it?
They don't work either.
I can't support building a wall to keep out illegal immigrants.
It's borderline racist.
Hey girl, are you the Bible?
'Cause men keep misinterpreting what you say to support their own selfish agendas.
If there was a bipartisan push in Congress to legalize medical marijuana for arthritis treatment...
there would be joint support for joint support for joint support.
In light of the Net Neutrality debate, I want to say something to support my American friends.
Thoughts and prayers.
What do you call a support group for compulsive talkers?
On and on anon.
Welcome to the plastic surgery addiction support group
I see a lot of new faces around
Yo momma is so big that...
I had to format my NTFS drive to a different file system to support her pictures
Telling someone that you work in IT support can be such a turn off...
And then a turn on again.
What's the difference between an art student and a park bench?
A bench can support a family.
I got in trouble at work for suggesting Saloon Doors on the Gender Neutral Bathroom
I just wanted to show my support for swinging both ways
Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities.
Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.
The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with Saturday's performance that they have said they will personally refund all expenses to fans who travelled to support them.
All they need to do is send bank details, sort codes & PINs, and they will transfer the money directly …
Indians Robbing a Bank
An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him Where's the money? And why do you have so many computers? The bank robber replies They thougth I was tech support.
Victoria's Secret has launched a revolutionary new bra, "Croatia"
..it has lot's of support but no cup
I only knock up anti-vaxxers.
Better to pay 4 years of child support than 18.
I am a parent of a one year old and I support anti vaxxer parents and super thankful of them.
They help me eliminate future competition that my kid will go against. From fortnite to Harvard.
I invited my erectile dysfunction support group over for a BBQ...
Nobody came.
Why is it better to sleep with anti-vaxxers?
8 years of child support is better then 18 years of child support.
Has COVID-19 got you wearing glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
EDIT (July 14, 2020 7:40PM PST): Um, wow. I did not expect the 2.9K likes, especially since I didn't come up with it. Thanks for the support guys and y'all got me, I read it somewhere else and shared it.
I support the anti-mask people
Thanks to them the average IQ is rising
A bus full of Russians are at the Belarussian border.
The customs official eyes them suspiciously. He asks the first guy:
"Name?"
"Ah, Boris Ivanovich."
"Do you have a visa?"
"No, but we were invited here."
"Occupation?"
"No, we are just police support. The occupation forces are in the next bus."
My now knocked up GF just told me that she's an anti-vaxxerr
so I only have to pay for 4 years of child support instead of 18.
My girlfriend told me she will leave me if I don't support Trump...
I said ok.. Biden
We Americans know how to embrace the metric system
I'm an American. When I was a kid, my Dad told me, "The metric system is gonna be big. Support it and use it - the whole nine yards - every inch of the way."
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!
How many IT support guys does it take to change the light bulb?
Zero. They just switch it off and on a few times and it works like new
My girlfriend said she would leave me if I didn't support Trump
I said "Biden"
What's the difference between a guitar player and a couch?
A couch can support a family.
I unplugged my grandma's life support
The moment was really breathtaking.
For the last time, I am not gay.
I just date people that are, to show my support.
I called Robinhood customer support to ask what I should do with my GME shares.
They said: PLEASE HOLD.
I called up GameStop customer support
They told me to hold.
My wife started a program to support whistle blowers by knitting them sweaters.
She calls the program Snitches get Stitches
If my son ever comes out as non binary I will not supporting him.
I with support them
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
Better get some support or people will think we're nuts!
What did they call Tech Support before gun powder?
Trouble stabbing.
My grandparents think that I depend too much on technology.
They always talk about how much my generation depends on technology, and my grandfather always mentions it whenever I visit them, so then I replied, no, your generation depends too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the support prop jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working support compensation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.