The Best 87 Supply Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Supply jokes. There are some supply ajax jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these supply supply and demand puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Supply Jokes and Puns

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...

could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

A Vampire died and was in the process of being reincarnated...

They asked him, "What would you like to have in your next lifetime?"

"Drinking blood is good but I don't like hunting, ideally I'd like to have a easy supply of fresh blood."

"I also like turning into a bat and flying, so let me retain wings.", he said.

"One last thing, my dark complexion seems to scare people too much, can I turn into something white?"
"Sure thing."


He became a maxi pad.

I used to supply filofaxes to the mafia

I was involved in very organised crime

Mitch Hedberg-type joke.

I saw a bible supply store on the way over here. I did not realize bibles required supplies. I was under the impression they came fully equipped. "Hey, you coming to the revival this weekend? No, man, my bible wants to go camping. We have to stop at store. For supplies. Like a tiny can of beans. And a little tent."

jokes about supply

Victorinox, the makers of Swiss Army knives, recently branched out into the medical supply business after developing a universal tool fit for every hospital ICU.

Their marketing slogan: "For all intensive purposes."

Did you hear about the man who won a lifetime supply of Marijuana Lotion.

He hit the jackpot.

An Irishman finds a lamp...

...and there's a genie inside who grants him three wishes. For his first wish he asks for an unlimited supply of Guinness. The genie asks what his other two wishes are. After some thought, the Irishman answers "I'll have two more of the same please."

Supply joke, An Irishman finds a lamp...

Why don't old people like shopping at Costco?

Because anything they buy is likely to be a lifetime supply.

I'm been living in an office supply cupboard for a few months now... doesn't have many luxuries but it does have all the staples.

I'm sitting in a jail cell

and it's killing me that I was arrested for something so stupid. On a dare, I robbed a kitchen supply store. Sure, the expensive knives would have been great, and who doesn't want a food processor?

But all in all, it just wasn't work the whisk.

The Soviet chairman asks a high ranking party member about potato supplies

Chairman: How does our potato supply look?

Party member: We have so many potatoes that, if they were piled one on top of another, they could reach God.

Chairman: But God does not exist.

Party member: Neither do the potatoes.

You can explore supply shortage reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean supply scarcity dad jokes. There are also supply puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Saw a man selling umbrellas in the rain today.

He ironically was umbrella-less. When I asked him why, he replied: "Man, I don't stay dry off my own supply."

Why did I wear no jeans today?

my supply was short.

If you had to choose between having a love life, or a lifetime supply of pudding:

How much chocolate pudding would you eat that first day?

What did the cheese maker say when he found out his dairy supply spoiled?

That's not Gouda.

A lifetime supply of McDonalds is actually pretty short

Supply joke, A lifetime supply of McDonalds is actually pretty short

what do you call an asian supply warehouse party?

A surprise party!

What do you call a parrot that repeats "Supply and Demand" over and over?

An economist.

Jared from Subway should be happy…

… He will have a life time supply of foot-longs where he's going.

What do you call 4 condoms?

For me, a year's supply.

What do you get when you put jelly into Flint, Michigan's water supply?

Pb & J.

What do you call a urologist who accidentally dumps his entire practice's supply of Flomax down the drain?

In trouble with his peers.

today i won a raffle.

received a life supply of marmite, one whole jar.

What did Noah name the carpentry supply store he set up in Little Rock?


My friend and I signed up to win a lifetime supply of skin lotion. He won and I didn't

The worst part is that he keeps rubbing it in.

Local cyborg beats another cyborg to death for it's Sodium-nickle batteries, proceeds to restore his electricity supply after being arrested.

He was charged with a salt.

Supply joke, Local cyborg beats another cyborg to death for it's Sodium-nickle batteries, proceeds to restore his

how much is a life-time supply of fast food?

Not much.

Contest Emcee: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of Ramen Noodles!

Me: Can I just take the $20 instead?

Obama's going to open a home food preservation supply store next

It's called "Yes We Can"

Human-beings get rich as they grow old:

Silver in Hair;
Gold in Teeth;
Sugar in Blood;
Precious Stones in Kidney;
And a never ending supply of Gas!

I wish my parents would have named me "Sale"

I'd have a lifetime supply of free homes & cars...

Have you heard they have slashed production of many office supply items.

Especially metre rulers, they won't be making them any longer.

Why did the cops arrest the guy selling water at a music festival?

They said he was in tent to supply.

A friend came to my doorstep claiming he'd robbed the pools supply cupboard.

He wanted somewhere to lilo.

I was going to rob a bakery supply store

but then I realized it wasn't worth the whisk.

A man goes to the doctor

The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news"

The man replies "Give me the good news first, doc."

The doctor says "The good news is we currently have that raccoon in our supply closet. The bad news is you ruined the punchline by asking for the good news first."

A spy put laxatives into a jihadist water supply

The results were explosive

Got my water bill today - Β£400. Then I saw an advert for Oxfam stating they can supply a whole village with water for Β£5 a month.

Think I'll be changing my supplier.

Do you know who I blame for the rise of drugs in schools?

The supply teachers.

Teach a parrot the words supply and demand,

and you've got yourself an economist.

Why is it a crime to put condiments on your power supply?

Because it's assault and battery.

Β£5 per month can supply a whole village in Africa with water.

Yet I'm paying Β£30 per month for just me!

A man walked into an office supply shop a year ago, laid down and said he is a pencil and will never leave.

Some say he is still stationary today.

A Mathematician an Economist and an Account are at a bar

The bar tender asks them what 2+2 is. The Mathematician says it is 4. The economist says it depends on how the supply and demand curves are at the time but generally it is 4. The accountant puts down his beer, looks the bar tender in the eye and asks what do you want it to be?

Last night I bought my friend a lifetime supply of Peach Ice Cream

He has cancer, in Hospice, and the Doctors have given him two weeks tops.

Germany brought 12 tons of supply for World Cup in Moscow, the most among 32 teams.

They paid the price for not bringing enough 75 years ago.

What is a wind turbines favorite musical group?

Air Supply

It's no wonder trains are always late.

There's a lower supply because of all the children eating them.

I remember once I was forced to choose between Dwayne Johnson and a lifetime supply of frozen fish.

I was stuck between a Rock and a hard plaice.

At the Helsinki Summit, Russia offered to supply both Translators

Which is nice considering they supplied both President

I won a lifetime supply of calendars!

But so far they've only sent me two and a half.

I never thought I'd be shoplifting from a kitchen supply store

But that's a whisk I'm willing to take

Why did the supply chain manager wake up in the middle of the night with a cold sweat?

He was having a logistical nightmare.

When our little girl was sick in hospital we bought her a lifetime supply of crayons.

It cost $3.

Whenever I think of the phrase "high off their own supply

I think of a fat chef.

Does anyone have Oxfams number? I just got my water bill for Β£278 and then heard on TV that Oxfam can supply a family for just Β£2 a month.

I am swapping..

Why do female vampires have an advantage over male vampires?

Because they get free supply of blood once a month.

Two men walk into a chemistry supply store

The first man says: 'I'll have some H2O'.

The second man says: 'I'll have some H2O too'

The second man died

What do you say to a man who's fallen ill from dehydration after their water supply was cut off?

Hope you get well soon.

I hired a German plumber the other day to fix my shower.

He accidentally connected the gas supply to the water supply.

I guess old habits die hard.

What's the difference between a male and a female fire sprinkler system?

The male will exhaust the fire, the female will exhaust the water supply

The worst part of having gay parents

The worst part of having gay parents:

You are either stuck with an endless supply of dadjokes or an endless loop of "Go ask your mom".

What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?

The Three-Hole Punch...

I got a pop up ad for a locally owned Sean Connery roofing supply company

It said, shingles in your area .

Yesterday my supply of toilet paper was exhausted.

Times are really rough.

Swedish recruit goes in to the Supply Sergeant for his first weapons issue:

*" Hallo, my name is Hans ... where are my arms? "*

My wife and I decided to stop having kids...

I haven't bought condoms in a while and I was surprised of find a years supply for such a reasonable price.

Pack of 3 for $3.69. Super-sensitive too.

NASA had a supply of rib eye on the last flight to the international space station to see how meat cooked in space. They called it their most important mission.

Because the steaks were never higher.

My neighbour and I became really close friends, so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

A maestro is convicted of murdering his wife, and sentenced to die in the electric chair.

On the night of the execution, he is strapped into the chair and they pull the switch. Nothing happens.

Thinking it must be a power supply problem, they turn off all the lights in the prison and try again. Still nothing.

They turn out all the lights in the town and try again. Nothing.

So, they let him go because he was such a poor conductor.

My next door neighbour and I became very good friends, do we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

Officials have found a brain-eating Amoba in the water supply of Washington DC. Officials are worried

After all, there's a good chance the Amobas will starve to death

What's President Trump's new favorite band?

Air Supply

A man walks into a store and buys a life time supply of condoms.

Only he doesn't know it.

Two friends are driving through a town...

They see a billboard saying:

Vodka + water = kidney problems;

Rum + water = liver problems;

Whiskey + water = heart issues;

Gin + water = brain damage;

Says one to the other dude, looks like there are some serious issues with water supply in this town

The teacher asks little Johnny : "Your dad buys 18 six-packs of beer at $3 a piece, how much is it ?"

"I'd say about a one week supply, Ma'am !"

Mr. O'Malley comes home from the doctor and tells his wife he needs to supply a urine sample.

Mr. O'Malley is distraught because he has no idea what a urine sample is. Mr. O'Malley asks his wife to go nextdoor and ask their neighbor for help.

Mrs. O'Malley comes back, beaten, bruised, and bloodied.

"What the bloody hell happened to you, my love!?" exclaims Mr. O'Malley.

"I asked Mrs. Finnegan how you get a urine sample," Mrs. O'Malley explains. "She said, 'Go piss in a cup!' and I said, Go Shit In A Hat! And the fight was on."

Did you hear about the guy who owned the Earth's supply of herbs?

He had all the thyme in the world

At least I know who is responsible for all these drugs in schools…

supply teachers

What's the #1 rule of being an illegal towel dealer?

Don't get dry on your own supply.

Due to inflation, the rapper Chamillionaire is changing his name to ChaMiddleClass.

2 Chainz also announced that he's changing his name, due to supply chain issues

My 5yo continues to supply the gold: what snakes do you find on cars?

Windshield vipers!

Just got fired from my new job as a supply chain manager...

My boss just said, "That's LIFO."

I used to work in an art supply store.

I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"

A poorly translated Dutch joke: A family called "Vermeer" has a construction supply shop

Next to the front door they have a cross with Jesus hanging on it with the text "for two thousand years, Jesus has hanged here with nails of Vermeer."

Their shop was in The Veluwe, i.e. the Dutch Bible belt, so the local municipality got upset and told the family to change it.

So the family removed the cross and changed the text to "here jesus fell off the wall, with the nails of Vermeer this wouldn't have happened at all."

My neighbor and I are good friends so we decided to share our water supply.

We got a long well.

I was at the garden supply center and noticed the price of manure has almost doubled.

Shit's getting expensive.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the supply supply chain puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working supply supply chain management piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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