Amusing Supervisor Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
The Wedding Night
In a party, the manager proudly said that he did it 7 times with his wife on his wedding night.
Supervisor next to him said he did it 6 times before going to sleep on his wedding night.
All turned towards a newly wed and asked how many times did he do on his wedding night?
"Only once sir"
They all laugh and ask him WHY??
He replies "cause my wife wasn't used to it sir!!!!"
s**... harassment
The supervisor of a local firm is startled when his secretary bursts into his office to file a complaint of s**... harassment against a man working in the same department. "What on earth did he do?", asks the boss. "It's not what he did but what he said!", the secretary shrieks. "He said my hair smelt nice!". "And what is so wrong with him telling you that?", asks the boss. "He's a midget" ,huffs the woman.
Hair Fragrance
Every day at the office, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, "So what's s**... threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
Five guys in an Audi Quattro...
...arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian customs officer stops them and says,
"It'sa i**... to p**... five people in a Quattro."
"What are you talking about?" the driver asked.
"Quattro meansa four, and you are five-a people."
"Quattro is just the name of the car."
"Don'ta think you can fool me! Quattro meansa four and you are five-a people, you are breakinga the law."
"You idiot! Call your supervisor, I need to speak with someone with more intelligence!"
"He can'ta come."
"Why not?"
"He'sa busy witha two guys in an Uno."
How many US Navy electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, and three hours. One to write the tags and hang them, one to second check and fix it, and a supervisor to verify the job was done correctly.
Stolen from Navy boyfriend
German Mining Company
German miner, "herr supervisor, we're working so many hours and we're so efficient that within a year we will run out of ore to mine."
Mine Supervisor, "this is a problem. A very bad problem."
Miner, "what do you suggest we do?"
Supervisor, "Mein Fuhrer."
Our confidentiality supervisor is...
i**... Antellu
A supervisor at a Tickle-Me-Elmo factory...
...instructed an employee to give the dolls 'test tickles'. The dolls were recalled for being anatomically correct.
Know what's the best part about my supervisor having an identical twin?
I get to watch him die twice.
My safety supervisor asked me why I wasn't done filing the hazardous material documents...
I told him I was doing asbestos I can
I recently got promoted to Supervisor at my place of work..
It's hard work, but I manage.
You can explore supervisor custodian reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean supervisor wrench dad jokes. There are also supervisor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I turned in my letter of resignation to my smug supervisor at the refrigeration plant.
He accepted it with his usual air of condensation.
Cleaning Day
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies, "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
What do you call an awesome hat that watches people work?
A supervisor.
I got promoted to the senior supervisor at the cheese factory.
I am now the greater grater grader.
My supervisor accused me of insubordination
...I'll show him who's boss.
A story from a factory
One day, this guy's at work at a factory that makes glue and whiteout. These two substances are stored in these large vats. One day, the guy falls into one of the vats. His supervisor comes to help and the two start a conversation:
Guy: I'm okay. I just fell into the vat of glue.
Supervisor: You actually fell into the vat of whiteout. See, it says so right there.
Guy: I stand corrected.
A secret service agent, nervous on his first day, sees Donald, Melania, and Barron Trump walking through the Whitehouse.
The new agent asks his supervisor, "Wow, is that really the First family?"
The supervisor, unfazed, replies, No, I think this is at least the third for Mr. Trump."
I once went high to my construction...
I once went high to my construction job. The supervisor sent me home. Mfw I am the s**... that the builder refused.
A sewage worker has just started his first day on the job
He and his supervisor are standing over a manhole and the new guy begins to climb down.
Suddenly he looks up with a look of mild panic in his eyes and says,
"Wait, what happens if I fall in?"
His supervisor looks down and him and replies,
"Son, if you fall, u**... over you head."
Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore.
She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against the guy.
The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
"It's Bruce. The dwarf."
Why do supervisors wear ties?
To keep their f**... from rolling up over their heads.
This is apparently a really old joke. A 58 y/o coworker told me this one, thought it was hilarious!
What do you get when you cross a supervisor with a sharpie?
Fired
A supervisor at the US Department of Agriculture was seen crying at his desk...
Employee: Why are you crying?
Supervisor: My farmer died.
A man applies for a job as a diesel fitter at a women's underwear factory. He asks his supervisor what the job entails.
The supervisor takes some underwear off the line, puts it on his head and says, "Deez'll fit 'er!"
My supervisor said I'm getting a poor appraisal because my communication skills are so weak
I didn't know what to say to that
My wife was furious when i told her my supervisor offered me a raise in exchange for s**....
I thought she'd be happy I got a promotion.
The New Lumberjack
A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees in a day. His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working fine.
The lumberjack looked incredibly startled and asked, "What's that noise?"
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
The president is walking out of the White House towards his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims his gun.
A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the h**... did you shout Mickey Mouse?
Blushing, the agent replies, I got nervous. I meant to shout...... Donald, duck!
Once there was a raid at the club. Intel was that there was black money in the club
A officer, during the raid found the money. He went to the supervisor and told him-
"Sir, we have found the money! It's 5 million dollars, cash!"
"What's that officer? You say there's 2 million dollars found in raid?"
"That's right sir! We have found a million dollars of cash here!! "
I got a job as valet down at the hospital
The best part about it, is that I'm gonna be able to work my way up the chain. It goes Valet-Valet Supervisor.. and somewhere at the end I'll be a doctor!
Pandemic fun
CUSTOMER: why has your colleague got a larger plastic face covering than you?
SHOP ASSISTANT: that's the supervisor.
When a kid says
When a kid says " Daddy, I want mommy", that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
My Supervisor Suggested That I Need To Work On My People Skills
But he's dead now.
Trump is leaving a rally and heading to his limo
When suddenly a would be assassin jumps from the shadows and takes aim. A secret service agent, brand new on the job, shouts Micky Mouse! This startles the assassin and he is captured in the confusion. Later the agents supervisor takes him aside, congratulates him and says but what in the h**... made you shout 'Micky Mouse?!' Visibly embarrassed the Agent replies I got nervous, I meant to shout 'Donald, Duck'
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
A guard abandoned his post due to overwhelming fear
He was called by his supervisor.
"Stand your ground, guard d**... it!"
The last time I went through a TSA checkpoint at an airport I was wearing my contact lenses.
The TSA guy looked at my driver's license, looked at me, and looked at his my driver's license again. He started to turn to get his supervisor. I said "if you want, I'll put my glasses on, I have them with me." He looked bewildered, but he cleared me through all by himself.
Now I understand the whole Superman / Clark Kent thing.
I used to work for Chicken of the Sea, until a new supervisor became convinced that I was actually a tuna disguised as a human
It was because of this that I was later wrongfully canned
A man is working in the shoe factory
A man is working in the shoe factory, talking with his supervisor from across the line. As he works on the incomplete shoe, he strikes up a conversation with his boss. "Anything new in your world Bob?" he asks. "Yeah, actually! I just finished my degree and am starting a 2nd job as a therapist!", he responds. The man, moving on to the bottom of the shoe is shocked. "Wow, that's great! You know, I've actually been having trouble getting over Jess-" he starts, before Bob interrupts "Let it go man. It's time to heel".
Supervisor: You should have been here by 9!
Me: Why?! What happened at 9?
Why did the new guy put cows on a forklift?
Because his supervisor told him they are raising the stakes
A group of dwarves get jobs as coal miners
After a week or so, one of the workers really stood out and was getting special treatment from the supervisor, Moe. The other dwarves complained to HR and threatened to go on strike.
The supervisor was called into the office and reprimanded. He explained that he was only trying to keep the hardest worker motivated and asked exactly what he supposed to do, to which the Human Resources manager replied, Treat him like any mini miner, Moe.
