Superstitious Jokes
34 superstitious jokes and hilarious superstitious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about superstitious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Superstitious Short Jokes
Short superstitious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The superstitious humour may include short skeptical jokes also.
- Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said - I hear sirens. Jump.
The other replied - But we are on the 13th floor.
The first one yelled - This is no time to be superstitious. - How many superstitious people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they light a candle because they're stuck in the dark ages.
- Why did Stevie Wonder run away from the black cat crossing the street under a ladder? He was very Superstitious.
- I was drilling for water yesterday morning when the machine broke. I'm not superstitious but it didn't auger well for the rest of the day, either.
- How to make a lot of money by predicting the future 1) Wait until your 80+ years old
2) Dress up in a robe with a hood
3) Find dumb superstitious customers
4) Prophet - So I was having s**... with this girl.. When suddenly she asks me: "Doesn't it bother you that I'm 13??"
So I replied: "Not really, I've never been superstitious" - I live in a very old house, everyone in my town says it's haunted. It's all superstitious b**... to me, I've lived here for 127 years and not once seen any ghosts.
- What do you call a superstitious construction vehicle that has a g**... physique? Icky-bod Crane
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Superstitious One Liners
Which superstitious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with superstitious? I can suggest the ones about foolish and believing.
- I don't worry about Friday the 13th. It's bad luck to be superstitious.
- My girlfriend is 13 years old but I'm not worried... I'm not superstitious.
- I'm not superstitious Just slightlysticious
- Happy Friday the Thirteenth I think it's bad luck to be superstitious
- Those black cats better not cross my path. I'm not superstitious. Just racist.
- It's Friday 13th... Thank my lucky stars that I'm not superstitious
- I'm not superstitious on Friday the 13th Just a little stitious.
- Why aren't carpenters superstitious? Because they're always knocking on wood!
- How do we know Roy Moore is superstitious? He doesn't hit on 13 year olds.
- Would you like to see my BBC? It's a lazy fat cat and keeps superstitious people away.
- I am not a superstitious man for I hear that those who are have the WORST of luck.
- I'm not superstitious... I think it's bad luck.
- It's bad luck to be superstitious.
- I'm so superstitious I never want to see the number 13, not on my watch

Heartwarming Superstitious Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about superstitious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pessimistic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make superstitious pranks.
2 men are robbing an apartment...
...when they hear sirens outside the building.
"We need to jump!" says the first man.
The second man replies "But we're on the 13th floor!"
"This is no time to be superstitious!" exclaims the first man.
In one Intensive care unit
people always died on the same bed at 11 am on a Sunday morning, regardless of their condition. This puzzled medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to observe the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. Some held crosses and prayer books to ward off evil influences, while the less superstitious had video cameras to catch the whole thing on tape. At the 11th hour, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner.
A man bought himself an expensive new car
He was a superstitious fellow and wanted to keep anything bad from happening, so he invited a priest, an imam and a rabbi over to bless the vehicle.
First, the priest sprinkled holy water on the hood.
Next, the imam led everyone in a prayer to the vehicles' greatness.
Then finally, the rabbi sang a song & cut off the end of the tailpipe.
Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back,
"This is no time to be superstitious."
Two guys are in a burning building
"Let's jump out of the window" says the first one.
"What floor are we on?" Answers the other.
"Thirteenth."
"What? Thirteenth? There is no way I jump from here!"
"Come on, now, it's no time to be superstitious."
I told my superstitious friend I was having knee pains
She said "I have been reading into astrology and its said that Capricorn, the sea-goat, has more knee pains. Are you a Capricorn?"
I said "No ma'am. I'm a Taurus, and that's bull."
