Supermarket Aisle Jokes
15 supermarket aisle jokes and hilarious supermarket aisle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about supermarket aisle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Supermarket Aisle Short Jokes
Short supermarket aisle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The supermarket aisle humour may include short supermarket jokes also.
- Me and my best friend went to the local supermarket... He started to throw the milk and cheese all over the aisle. I thought, how dairy?
- I was shopping at the supermarket today Sounds like they were performing an exorcism on aisle six.
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Supermarket Aisle One Liners
Which supermarket aisle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with supermarket aisle? I can suggest the ones about aisle and supermarket shopping.
- Where in the supermarket would you find the Dalai Lama? Eggs-aisle.
- I was told that the supermarket sold pita bread But i searched every aisle and found naan
Supermarket Aisle Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about supermarket aisle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grocery store jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make supermarket aisle pranks.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
A grandfather and his grandson in the supermarket
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle and for cereal and soda in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."
Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say: "It's OK, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little t**... is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says to the elderly gentleman: "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be OK. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William. The little s**...'s name is Kevin."
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket
The husband picks up a case of Fosters and puts it in their trolley.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $40 for 24 cans' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $80 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts:
'So does 24 cans of Fosters, and it's half the price.'
Misunderstanding.
A man in the supermarket sees a woman across the aisle looking at him, so he goes over and says "do i know you"? She says "you're the father of one of my children". He panics and thinks about the only time he cheated on his wife. "Are you the stripper at that party who had s**... with me on the pool table while everyone stood around cheering". "No", she says, looking horrified "i'm your sons teacher".
Tampons
A man walks into a supermarket, asks the clerk where the Tampons are.
She told him Aisle 14.
He comes back a few minutes later with a big bag of large cotton b**......and some kite string.
Puzzled, the girl asks him if he wasn't the one asking for Tampons?
" it's a long story," he explains, "last night, the wife went to convenience store, and I asked her to get me a pak of cigarettes."
He continues, "she came back with a can of Prince Albert and some rolling papers, saying it was cheaper to roll my own....
Cause of death: COVID
Been analysing my spending and it turns out rather than large purchases, most of my expenditure seems to go on the mysterious middle aisle in German supermarkets.
To put it another way: it's not the big things, it's Aldi Lidl things.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They carry on with their shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful", replies the wife.
Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
A penguin is driving on a hot summer day when his car...
... suddenly starts to make noises and smoke out from under the hood. The penguin coasts into the service space and stops at the garage.
The mechanic there tells the penguin it's going to take a bit of time to see what the problem is, and starts working on the car, so our penguin shuffles out of the garage into the supermarket next door, frozen goods aisle, to get out of the summer scorch and get a bit of a cool-down.
Half an hour later, the penguin shuffles back to the garage, and the mechanic raises his eyes and tells him:
"Looks like you've blown a seal"
"Oh no, that's just some ice cream I ate earlier"
Inside a supermarket, a woman spots........
a grandfather and his poorly behaved three-yearold grandson. Easy, Billy, says grandfather calmly. We won't be long.
In the cookie aisle, the woman hears the kid whining some more, I want cookies! Gimme cookies!
It's OK Billy, just a couple more minutes, and we'll be out of here. Just hang on; you're doing great, says the grandfather.
At the check out, the kid screams, CANDY! I want candy!
Billy, Billy, relax, pal. Don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes.
The woman is impressed. You're amazing, she tells the grandfather. You kept your composure no matter how loud he got. Billy is very lucky to have you as a grandpa.
Thanks, replies the grandfather. But I'm Billy. The little twerp is Michael.