Following is our collection of funny Superman jokes. There are some superman superheroes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these superman superman vs batman puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
He said, Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot.
They both paralyze superman
As she lay there in screaming agony, her body covered in fatal burns, Superman knew this was the first and last time he would try to undress a woman with his eyes.
The fact Superman got a job with a newspaper at the end is the strangest thing to happen in that movie.
... but I was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses.
Superman's sons says, "my dad travels the fastest, he doesnt care about traffic and returns home from work in a matter of minutes."
Flash's son says, "Nah, dude, my dad travels at the speed of light, the moment he finishes work, he's home."
John's sons says, "Please, my dad's shift ends at 5, he's home watching TV at 4:30 already"
peter parker can shoot webs. clark kent.
He already has supervision.
It was a narrow "S" cape.
They played crank that, and I did the Superman.
They played the Cupid shuffle, so I did the Cupid shuffle.
They played Come on Eileen, and I got kicked out of the club.
A democratic senator from Kentucky.
You can explore superman wonderwoman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean superman spiderman dad jokes. There are also superman puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2
Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...
They're both getting killed by a Kryptonite.
Just ice.
Up Up and Oy Vey !
(For some reason this is just fun to say out loud)
Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
In a bar high above the city when one says to the other "I think I want to kill myself." They other guy says "You know what? Me too. Let's do it." They walk over to the window and both jump out.
A few minutes later the second guy walks in the door and sits back down at the bar. The bartender says:"You sure are a mean drunk, Superman."
He's going to lure him into the crypt tonight.
Because not all heroes wear caps.
When I think about it, we are the ones to blame for all the crime and violence we have today, after all, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to get changed.
Supervision.
Sounds pretty far fetched.
Cape Town
"Your parents when you move out."
Loser had to wear his underwear over his pants till the rest of his life.
Kryptocurrency.
Because he can't go near crypto@night
Stay on a horse.
He always has an 'S' cape
But he said he was feeling weak so he didn't want to go to the crypt tonight.
Superman got adopted.
She said I have too many issues.
Henchman: yeah, lol, heard this one before.
Villian: No really! At sundown, I'm going to lure him into this mausoleum and lock the door, it's his weakness!
Henchman: What are you talking about, that'll never work!
Villian: Of course it will, it's his crypt tonight.
Lex: This is the night I bury Superman!
Henchman: You've finally figured out his weakness?
Lex: Yes, this evening, I'll lure him into this tomb and he'll be incapacitated!
Henchman: How does that work?
Lex: It's his crypt-tonight.
He can only see his kids with super vision now.
I hope they cast a black Superman. It would nice for a brother to finally be faster than a speeding bullet.
Credits:Someones Tweet
He's in his crypt tonight.
...just his league
It's Superman of course, or have you ever heard about a batmarket?
Two men in a bar. One says "Hey, I can do an awesome Batman impression."
"Go on then" the second one says.
"OK, here we go..." the first one responds, "Oh no! Not the KRYPTONITE!"
The second one shouts "That's SUPERMAN"
"Oh thanks man, I've been practicing for a while."
Adopted
her body covered in fatal burns, Superman knew this was the first and last time he would try to undress a woman with his eyes.
Because he can't go to the Krypt Tonight.
Son: Go on, then.
Dad growls: NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!
Son: Dad, that's Superman!
Dad: Thanks, I've been practicing a lot.
One of them asks the bartender for a drink. He takes a sip and jumps out of the window and starts flying. He then comes back in and said to his friend, "You have to try this drink, it makes you fly."
So his friend takes a sip, runs over and jumps out the window, and falls right onto the concrete.
Then the bartender says,"Your a real asshole when your drunk Superman."
So one day superman is flying around lonely when he noticed wonder women naked on the beach having what looks like a wet dream.
He figures if he can fly down at the speed of light and do his business she would never even notice. After a few minutes he finally builds the courage and boom he goes in for the kill.
Wonder women in shock screams at the top of her voice "What the hell was that?!" The invisible man in agonizing pain tells her "I have no idea but my ass is killing me"
He can't do anything without supervision.
But Clark Kent
Superman didn't go because it was a crypto-night.
- Sure
- "Oh no, Kryptonite!"
- That's superman
- Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot
We decided the loser has to wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life.
The TSA guy looked at my driver's license, looked at me, and looked at his my driver's license again. He started to turn to get his supervisor. I said "if you want, I'll put my glasses on, I have them with me." He looked bewildered, but he cleared me through all by himself.
Now I understand the whole Superman / Clark Kent thing.
Krypto-currency
because Elon loves his Crypto.
Because he was fighting for Truth, Justice AND the American Way
The drunk man comes to the balcony and jumps off. A few moments later, the man comes back, perfectly fine.
Later, the man gets drunk and jumps off again. He comes back again perfectly fine.
The guy watching asks "Wow, how did you do that?"
The man responds "Anything can happen when you drink enough."
Later, the guy gets drunk, jumps off, and falls to his death.
The man comes back and says "Why didn't he survive?"
The bartender responds "Oh come on, Superman. You're an absolute douche when you're drunk."
The loser had to wear their underpants on the outside
but people always want to be the superman
Loser has to wear his underwear above his pants.
Neil before Zod.
The loser had to wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life
The doctor is baffled when he walks into the patient room and finds THE Superman sitting on the bench.
"Erm... hello Superman, what seems to be the problem? I'm going to be honest I didn't realize that the man of steel needed to go to the doctor.."
Clearly uncomfortable Superman lowers his gaze and sighs..
"Doc, this is a little embarrassing but it burns when I see..."
Krypto currency
>!He can be killed by a Crip tonight!<
Some people wore bitcoin suits, other dogecoin. Superman was upset, no one told him it was a crypto night.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the superman batman and superman jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working superman batman superman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.