The Best 62 Superior Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Superior jokes. There are some superior super jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these superior strategies puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Superior Jokes and Puns

A senior nun walks in on an novice...

... who was vigourously masturbating with a cob of corn.

The Mother Superior says: "That's disgusting! I was going to eat that, and you know I hate the taste of corn!"

A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior.

he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented sex." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."

"Mother Superior," said the novice nun . . .

"I have to confess that last night I committed the sin of fornication. Six times."
The Mother Superior thought a minute, then sliced up a lemon and handed it to the novice.
"Here, my child," she said. "Take and eat all of this."
"Will this absolve me of my sin?" asked the novice.
"No," said the Mother Superior. "But it will get that smile off your face!"

Superior joke, "Mother Superior," said the novice nun . . .

Why was the russian airforce less superior than their enemies?

Cause their airplanes kept STALIN!!

(Ill see myself out...)

Heaven Between Legs

A nun went to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear a confession.

"Mother, today I experienced the pleasures of the flesh. Father Saunders came to me and told me I had the gates to Heaven between my legs. He then told me he had the key to Heaven and put it in the gates."

"Why that lying ba***rd !" the Mother Superior screamed. "For years he has told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I've been blowing it!"


What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common?

They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.)

***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version.

The Elusive Midget Nun

Two Eskimos, a big one and a little one, walk up to the convent door. The big one nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door.

The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big Eskimo nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question.

The little Eskimo timidly says, May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?

The Mother Superior answers, There are no midget nuns living here.

The big Eskimo starts nudging the little one again and says, Go ahead, ask her the other question, ask her the other question.

The little Eskimo asks in a quavering voice, Well, are there any midget nuns in Alaska?

The Mother Superior responds uncertainly, I know most of the nuns in Alaska and I don't believe so.

With this the big Eskimo falls down and rolls on the ground, clutching his belly as he laughs uncontrollably. See, he says to the little Eskimo, I told you that you screwed a penguin!

Superior joke, The Elusive Midget Nun

ANOTHER nun sat outside a bar in Ireland...

Sipping from a bottle of whiskey, and quite inebriated, when the local Gard walks past.

"Sister Mary", he asks "what in God's name are you doing?!"

"Not to worry, sergeant. I'm trying to *hic* cure the Mother Superior's constipation."

"And how is you being in this state going to help the Mother Superior with her constipation exactly?!"

"Cos when she sees me like this", Sister Mary replied, "she'll be shittin a brick!"

A young priest...

A freshly ordained young priest was walking to his newly assigned parish in the inner city. As he walked down the street, a prostitute stopped him and said, "Hey father, $20 for a blow job." The priest had never heard of such a thing and hurried away from the prostitute.

When he arrived at the church he was greeted by the Mother Superior who showed him around the place and guided him to his room. Before she left the priest alone in his room, she asked if he had any questions.

The young priest said, "I do have one question, Mother Superior, what is a blow job?"

And the old nun says, "Twenty bucks, same as on the street."

Mother superior is doing the orientation ...

of the new nun. The neighbourhood is rough and so she thought she would put some hypotheticals. "What would you do if you were walking alone at night and got cornered by a man on who demanded to have sex with you?"

"Well, I would ask him to drop his pants." replied the new nun coolly

Flabbergasted the Mother pressed "And what then?"

"Well, then I would hike up my habit above my knees." replied the nun, still calm.

Aghast at this the Mother could not but ask "And what then?"

"Well, I would start running. I can run a lot faster with my habit hiked up than the man whose trousers are at his ankles."

Unnecessary Arrests

The other day, a police officer was walking through the park. He saw two kids. One of the kids was eating fireworks. The other was drinking battery acid. The officer immediately arrested both kids and brought them to the station. When they got there, the officer's superior told him to let one of the kids off and charge the other one.

You can explore superior corporal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean superior exceptional dad jokes. There are also superior puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A Greek and a Roman are arguing about who has the superior culture.

The Greek says "We built the Parthenon". The Roman says "Ah, but we built the Colosseum". The Greek responds "We invented democracy" and the Roman says "Yes, but we founded the great Roman Empire". Finally, the Greek says "We invented sex". The Roman replies "That's true, but we're the ones who thought of having it with women."

Two nuns riding through the garden of the convent...

They giggle, laugh and scream as they ride their bikes over the cobble stone paths. All of a sudden, the window of Mother Superior swings open. She shouts:" Girls! Keep it down, or I'm having the saddles re-installed!"

Cat Race

So, England and France have a friendly contest to see which country is superior. They do this by having a cat race, in which the French cat, 'Un Duex Trois, and English cat 'One Two Three' will race across the channel.

The race starts and One Two Three cat speeds across the water, easily winning.

Unfortunately, Un Deux Trois cat sank.

I have a superiority complex

It's literally my ONLY flaw.

What do you call a sneaky criminal that thinks he's superior to everyone walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Superior joke, What do you call a sneaky criminal that thinks he's superior to everyone walking down the stairs?

Two Scottish nuns

Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replied, "But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.

The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.

The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"

There once was a priest from Siberia...

whose morals were rather inferior.
He did to a nun
What he shouldn't have done
And made her a mother superior.

Time to start a race war. Which race is superior?

Come on guys. Daytona 500 or Indianapolis 500?


Who is Cap'n Crunch's superior Officer?

General Mills

Nuns

The nuns at the local convent had their daily annoucement session.
The mother superior walked out in front of the 100 nuns with a very serious
frown on her face. She began to speak...
Mother Superior: There had been a sinful deed committed here, yesterday.
99 nuns: Oh, no!

1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.

Mother Superior: Today I found a pair a men's underwear.

99 nuns: Oh, no!

1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.

Mother Superior: And I also found a condom.

99 nuns: Oh, no!

1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.

Mother Superior: And it has been used!

99 nuns: Oh, no!

1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.

Mother Superior: And there was a hole in it!

1 nun: Oh, No!

99 nuns: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!.....

Irish man arrested for domestic abuse

The man has been arrested on the same charge 5 times before.

"Why do you keep beating her Paddy?" asked the police officer.

"Well isn't that obvious you idiot?

It is my height and weight advantage coupled with my superior reach and better footwork!"

The invention of sex

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and
Then Greek Says: "We invented sex" The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"

The policeman asked me why I keep beating my wife...

I told him I have a longer reach and superior footwork.

What do you call the Mother Superior of a corrupt convent?

Nun the Wiser

Four nuns about to take their vows..

Four novice nuns were about to take their vows.

Dressed in their white gowns, they entered the chapel for their symbolic marriage to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."

Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews came in and sat in the front row.

The Mother Superior said, "I am so honored you want to share this experience with us. May I ask why you came?"

"We're from the groom's family."

The President-Elect has recently begun learning how to play bridge with the help of master bridge players. it turns out, the President-Elect's plays are far superior to those of his peers. In other words...

Trump's trumps trump Trump's trumps' trumps.

What do you call several blonde hair blue-eyed men doing the 100 meter dash?

The superior race

What did the man say to the feminist to get her angry?

Nothing. The fact that he didn't say anything to her made her think that he thought he was superior and therefore a sexist, misogynistic, scum of the earth

If I say that marathons are superior to sprints...

does that make me a racist?

I think everyone has a superiority complex

except for me

Does anyone else feel that white bread is superior?

Or am I just breadjudiced?

Perfect day for a dad joke. Happy Fathers Day, folks!

You know, i never really thought our daughter would go farther than our son.

Yeah, turns out trebuchets are superior to catapults after all.

There are 101 nuns on a bus....

They are all going on a trip. The head Mother Superior stand up and faces all the nuns. She says

"There seem to a problem going on in our church"

99 nuns gasp and one snickers.

She then hold up a condom and says
"I had found this in our chapel"

99 nuns gasp and one snickers.

"But don't worry" she says, "well find them soon, there's a hole in it"

99 nuns snicker and one gasps.

There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions

What happened on June 6, 1944?

We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!

What was the turning point of world war 2?

Battle of the bulge, sir!

What's is the importance of May 12β€³ The Man thought and thought I don't know, sir!

The superior then said Well, I'll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.

I want to say comforters are superior to quilts

But I don't like to make blanket statements.

Did you hear the one about the baker who dominated the pastry competition through determination and superior sugar content?

He went in all buns glazing.

A drill seargant walks up to a recruit

and asks, "Private! Do you have change for a 20?"

"Sure buddy", replies the private, reaching into his pocket.

"Thats no way to speak to a superior officer!" Bellows the seargant,"Lets try again!Private! Do you have change for a 20?!"

The private snaps to attention and replies "Sir! No sir!"

What do you call someone who thinks NASCAR is superior to any other racing sport?

A racist.

Mother Superior is in the convent, when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and is shocked to see two leprechauns standing at the threshold, hats in hand. The first leprechaun speaks, "Mother Superior, would you be having any leprechaun nuns in this convent?"

"No, my son. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent."

"And mother, do you have any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"

"No my son, I don't believe there's a single leprechaun nun in the whole church!"

The first leprechaun rounds on his companion and shouts, "AH TOL' YE YOU'D BEEN FOOKIN' A PENGUIN!"

I'm not a racist, I just believe that...

the Indy 500 is superior to all other races.

A man is drinking in a bar when a nun harasses him about drinking.

In self-defense the man says, Who told you that drinking is bad?

Nun : "Mother Superior told me."

Man : "So, have you ever tried it?"

Nun : "No, I haven't ever taken a drink of hard liquor."

Man : "Well, don't criticize me if you haven't tried it. I'll tell you what if you try it and don't like it, I'll give up drinking for life."

Nun : "Okay but bring it in a tea cup. I don't want people thinking I'm drinking."

The man goes up to the bartender and says, Bring me a couple of shots of vodka but bring one of them in a tea cup.

The bartender looked at the man and said, Is that nun in here again?

Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his studio

The burglar got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

The Greatest Sex Culture . . .

A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.

Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."

The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."

The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."

Three nuns die and go to Heaven...

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they're quite easy.

"Who was the first woman?" He says to the first nun.

"Eve." The gates swing open and she walks in.

"Where did Eve live?" He says to the second nun.

"The Garden of Eden." The gates swing open once more.

"Now, seeing as you're the Mother Superior, you must answer a more difficult question, what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" St. Peter says to the third nun.

"Oh, that's a hard one..."

The gates swing open.

My friend was bitten by a Great White at the beach.

Well, he used the term "Superior Aryan," but either way he was one crazy ass skinhead.

I was bitten by a Great White at a Florida beach.

I mean, he used the phrase "Aryan Superior," but either way that was one coked-out skinhead.

Why is denim better than leather?

It's has superior jeans

I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles.

Does that make me erasist?

My grandfather used to tell me this joke

Three British kids are arguing about whose father is superior.

one says "my dad drinksba full cup hot tea in a sip"

then the other says "well my dad drinks it straight out of the pot"

upon hearing nothing from the third kid they ask "Peter how does your dad drinks tea"

Peter struggling to find something more great says
"well my dad drinks a cup of milk takes a teapack in his mouth and jumps right into the fire"

The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has came up with a new machine to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others , they have named it in honour of Putin who funded the project

It is called RARA's Grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine

Why do Mac owners think they are superior?

Because they need to command everything.

The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has been commissioned by Putin to develop a new robot to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others. They have named it in his honour.

It's called RARA's grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine.

A soldier, airman, marine, and a sailor walk into a bar...

The soldier boasts, "Our camouflage is so good, we put 50 men in the desert and only 20 were found."

The airman retorts, "That's nothing. Our camouflage is so effective, we put 50 jets in the sky, and only 15 were found!"

The marine says, with a big grin, "Amateurs, our camouflage is so superior, we put 50 devil dogs in the jungle, and only 10 were found!"

Finally, a clearly distraught sailor on his 6th shot of whiskey says, "Our camouflage was so terrible, we pushed 50 sailors into the ocean, and only 5 were found."

A corporal needed to use the pay phone but didn't have change.

He saw a private mopping the floor nearby and asked, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" The private replied, "Sure, hang on." The corporal gave him an icy stare and yelled, "That's no way to address your superior! Straighten up and let's try that again! Private, do you have change for a dollar?"

The private stood at attention and boomed, "NO SIR!"

People who act all intellectually superior by ending their thoughts with a Latin phraseβ€”- usually have no idea what they are doing.

Et al.

Nun gets up and starts walking down the cloisters. Another nun walks up to her and says "who got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

Nun carries on walking and again another nun says the same thing. This happens 15 times as she is walking down the cloisters and she is becoming very angry. She gets to Mother superiors office and just before Mother Superior could say anything the nun shouts, "don't tell me I got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning". Mother superior says: "I wasn't going to say that I was going to ask why you've got the Bishops' slippers on"

The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has been commissioned by Putin to develop a new robot to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others. They have named it in his honour.

RARA's grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine.

Borrow a dollar

An army officer asks to borrow a dollar from a soldier. "Sure, buddy," says the soldier. "That's no way to address a superior!" screams the officer.

"Now let's try that again. May I borrow a dollar, private?" "Sir, no, sir."

I just go into a fight with a friend. He thinks all races are equal, but I think some races are far superior....

Like the marathon. That takes a lot of stamina, and is a far superior race.

And if you thought this was going somewhere else... you need to take a good hard look at yourself!

Several nuns in a convent contract a venereal disease...

...So the Mother Superior calls a general meeting, and announces "There are cases of gonorrhea in our midst".

One of the nuns whispers to the nun next to her, "That's nice, I'm getting sick of the Cabernet".

A Russian officer is called into a meeting with his superior at their base camp

His boss starts:

"Comrade Lieutenant, it has come to my attention that you have been selling half of our fuel reserves on the black market"

"Yes Captain, it's true..."

"That's most unfortunate Lieutenant..."

"To be honest Captain, I know you sell army supplies too."

"I know..."

"Then what's the problem if I do it?"

"Because I already sold the other half."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the superior superlative jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working superior unique piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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