Super Bowl Jokes
98 super bowl jokes and hilarious super bowl puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about super bowl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Super Bowl Short Jokes
Short super bowl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The super bowl humour may include short football final jokes also.
- I think the most patriotic part of the entire Super Bowl was Rihanna's halftime performance Because there's nothing more American than for a woman to work while she's pregnant.
- I am from the future I can predict the score of the super bowl LVII before it starts... 0-0
- I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight! Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.
- Why did the Broncos wear white jerseys in Super Bowl 50? Because it's hard to catch a white bronco in California.
- What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation.
- Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich? Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!
- Fun Super Bowl Game: Every time they show Ray Lewis on the screen, stab someone in your party and then deny it was you.
- What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV? The Patriots
- What do the Super Bowl and a doctor's office have in common? Aaron Rodgers won't get a shot at either.
- Congratulations to Tom Brady, the first player to be undefeated over 5+ Super Bowls. He's won all 5/7.
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Super Bowl One Liners
Which super bowl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with super bowl? I can suggest the ones about world cup and world series.
- Super Bowl Halftime At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0
- What do you call fifty guys watching the Super Bowl? The Detroit Lions.
- What did everyone do after the Super Bowl was over? Watch the second half.
- The Minnesota Vikings walk into a bar To watch the Super Bowl
- I already know what the score will be in the Super Bowl before the game even starts. 0-0
- This was the most Superbowlly Super Bowl ever *Super Bowl LI
- Q: What do Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl? A: Turn off the XBox.
- Anyone see 50 cent perform at the Super Bowl? Inflation is real
- "Son, what would happen if neither team won the Super Bowl?" "It's a Tide ad."
- They said that the Super Bowl was going to be exciting. But that was a LIII.
- Maroon 5 At the Super Bowl
- I know the score of this Sunday's Super Bowl before it starts. 0 - 0
- Did you hear about player safety in the super bowl? Both teams suffered from blackouts
- What do you call a Lions player with a Super Bowl ring? A Thief
- What's infinite times better than the Super Bowl? The Hyperbole
Entertaining Super Bowl Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about super bowl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean football season jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make super bowl pranks.
What snack did the pirate bring to the Super Bowl party?
Chips Ahoy
What does j**... Jones do after winning the Super Bowl?
Gives the X Box back to grandkids
The Super Bowl
Surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bowl, a diehard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby.
"It was my husband's," the woman explained, "but he died."
"I'm very sorry," said the man. "Yet I'm really surprised that another relative, or friend, didnt jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for him."
"Beats me," she said. "They all insisted on going to the f**...."
Why don't the blondes like football?
A blonde went to the Super Bowl and someone asked her afterwards how she liked it. She said she enjoyed many aspects of the experience, but she didn't understand why all the players were fighting so hard over 25 cents. She was asked what she meant. She said, "Well, before the game, they flipped a quarter and one team started out with it. For the rest of the game, they kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back.' Hellooooo?! It's only 25 cents, people."
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
I was watching the Super Bowl with some friends...
and my fiancee's friend, who isn't very keen on sports, is commenting on the shoe polish streaks under their eyes.
She says "I just don't get it, what do those black things even do?"
I reply, "Well, play football, mostly."
So, it's now officially a week after the Super Bowl, can we please stop with the Super Bowl jokes?
They're going right over my head.
Pete Carroll was approached by a p**... offering to cheer him up on the house after the super bowl.
He said, 'I'll pass."
The Patriots asked the Seahawks: "Do you want to win the Super Bowl?"
The Seahawks replied: "Nah, we'll pass."
Hey Russell Wilson, want another Super Bowl title?
"Nah. I'll pass."
You know, I predicted every Super Bowl winner since 1996...
the predictions may not have been *correct* but still they were predictions.
Super bowl tickets
A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfare, accommodation, etc., but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5 p.m. Her name's Louise. She's 5' 6", about 120 lbs., good cook, makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress."
*this was forwarded to me by my dad just now, never heard before, thought was worthwhile for a chuckle.
So my cousin s**... up bigtime
My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
Why will all of the referees check their voicemail immediately after the Super Bowl?
So they can hear someone say "no missed calls"
What is the largest super bowl of them all?
Forty.
No one knows what Lady Gaga is going to do during the Super Bowl...
Because you can't read her poker face.
You know, I don't find the recent super bowl win all that historic...
After all, this isn't the first time Atlanta was burned by the north.
Tom Brady has a perfect record in the Super Bowl
He's 5 out of 7.
Heard about the I-85 highway collapse in Atlanta
It's the biggest collapse they've had since the Super Bowl :(
A man is attending the Super Bowl, when he notices an empty seat.
Thinking this to be strange, the man asks the person sitting next to the empty seat if he knows who sits there. The guy replies: Well, I bought two tickets for my wife and I a long time ago, but she passed away. So the man asks: Couldn't you have brought someone else?
"They're all at the f**...."
Smart first grader
A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?
Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.
Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?
Then I'd be a football fan.
What did the composer say about the music at the Super Bowl?
It's in half time.
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2018 Super bowl.
Both box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at St Christopher's Church, in Baldwin at 3pm. Her name is Ashley, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
My friend was talking about "Super Bowl Monday"
Friend: "We should get Super Bowl Monday to be a holiday. People spend all night watching the game, drinking, and partying, but in the morning they have to go to work."
Teacher: "Is that what you plan on doing on Sunday?
Friend: "No, I don't have a job."
My cousin has 2 tickets for the super bowl and paid $2500 for each ticket.
he didnt realize last year it was going to be the day of his wedding.
If interested he is looking for someone to take his place.
Her name is Lisa Phillips 35, about 140lbs, a good cook, She'll be in white
Patriots fans are being charged more money for Super Bowl tickets.
It's because of inflation.
I just saw the rapper Shaggy perform at the Super Bowl pre-game concert. In case you're wondering who invited him...
It wasn't me.
Poor children in African nations are really excited...
They're finally getting New England Patriot super bowl championship shirts!
Last night Philadelphia residents climbed light poles, flipped over cars, and set dumpsters on fire
Then things really got out of hand when they learned the Eagles won the Super Bowl
my friend bought tickets for the super bowl Llll on February 3rd 2019 in Atlanta not realizing that it is also the day of his marriage. so if someone is interested
The church is in Rochester, the womens name is Clarissa
I friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl.
They are box seats, and include travel and hotel accomodation. He didn't realise when he bought the tickets that it was the same date as his wedding - so now he can't go.
So if you're interested and want to go instead of him. It's at St James's Church in Bootle at 3pm. Her name is Susan. She will be the one in the white dress.
The super bowl is this weekend, don't forget to bring a jacket because it's supposed to get cold.
Luckily, there shouldn't be any Brees though.
Did you hear what weather is going to be for Super Bowl LIII?
sunny, clear sky with no Brees.
A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.
The guy sitting next to him says, Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967.
I'm sorry to hear that, says the first man. Couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?
Nope, replies the second guy. Everyone's at the f**....
I just heard that Budweiser is suing Stella Artois for casting Sarah Jessica Parker in their Super Bowl LIII ad.
Apparently they have a trademark on beer advertisements starring a horse.
I guess the Rams ended the Super Bowl the way they ended the season.
13-3.
Did you know that the Super Bowl was just on??
Apparently, neither did the
Los Angeles Rams.
Americans always get sports wrong.
Why would the Super Bowl have no bowling?
Sure was cold at the Super Bowl last night.
Thankfully there was no Brees though.
New England Patriots' Robert Craft is charged with soliciting prostitution.
He just wanted to show the masseuse where he wears his 6th super bowl ring.
Congrats to the Patriots on their 7th ring,
Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!
Why have the Patriots won so many Super Bowls?
Because the owner really likes a happy ending.
Super bowl time! Can YOU pass a football?
am surprised you could even s**... one!
What did the Detroit Lions fan say when they won the super bowl?
Why, why did you wake me up? I was having such a nice dream!
Anyone available??
I'M ASKING FOR A FRIEND............... A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl, 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
Tom Brady walks into a bar
to watch the Super Bowl.
For a second consecutive year a team competing in the Super Bowl has home field advantage.
To ensure this doesn't happen again, all subsequent Super Bowls will be held in Dallas, Texas.
Two tickets to the super bowl
A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tix, 40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Prob bc of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place... Try to be on time. It's at Calvary church in Santa Monica at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.
Buddy bought Superbowl tickets
A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tickets, 40 yard line box seats 20 rows up. He paid $4,500 each but he didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Probably because of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place...It's at Calvary church in San Clemente at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, very flexible and a decent cook too.
She'll be in the white dress.
Super Bowl tickets!
Last minute I realize but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Inglewood, CA at SOFI stadium Tomorrow.
They are box seats that he spent $8,500 a piece for which includes a ride from the airport, open bar, and a pass to the winners locker room.
What he did not realize was last year when he purchased them that this is the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley and she is 5'5 and about a 110 pounds. She is a good cook and enjoys the outdoors.
Asking for a friend ............... A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl.
They are 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
A buddy of mine has two Super Bowl tickets.
40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them it was going to be on the same day as his wedding - probably because of the extra game this year. If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place...It's at Sacred Heart Catholic church in Los Angeles at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.
I just don't understand why everyone is making such a big deal about Eminem kneeling at the Super Bowl…
He literally said his knees were weak like 2 minutes earlier…
My 7 year old organically made this up!
Super Bowl halftime show, watching with my wife and boys, wife says The halftime show is a bunch of rappers from the 80's and 90's, including Eminem, I really like him.
7 year old: Mn'Ms are good, but I like Skittles better
Wife: Not the candies silly, the rapper!
7 year old: Why would you just eat the wrappers!?
A lot of people were surprised to see 50 Cent at the Super Bowl halftime show, but not me.
Who else would you expect after two quarters?
It made perfect cents to me.
Super Bowl tickets
Short notice, but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl. They are box seats that he spent $5,700 a piece for which includes transportation to and from the stadium, open bar, and a pass to the winners locker room.
What he did not realize was last year when he purchased them that this is the same day as his wedding.
If you're interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's Church on North Avenue at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley and she is 5'5 and about 110 pounds. She is a good cook and enjoys the outdoors.
Given that the US has now shot down three balloons (or suspected balloons) this week....
Whoever is flying the Goodyear blimp at the Super Bowl tonight had better have b**... of steel.
This Super Bowl featured the first all women fly-over.
But it still looked like all airplanes to me.
