The Best 100 Super Bowl Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Super Bowl jokes. There are some super bowl cereal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these super bowl supervillain puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Super Bowl Jokes and Puns
Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
Yo mamma so stupid she brought a spoon to a super bowl and the fat one brought a bowl.
What snack did the pirate bring to the Super Bowl party?
Chips Ahoy
What does Jerry Jones do after winning the Super Bowl?
Gives the X Box back to grandkids
What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV?
The Patriots
Fun Super Bowl Game:
Every time they show Ray Lewis on the screen, stab someone in your party and then deny it was you.
Did you hear about player safety in the super bowl?
Both teams suffered from blackouts
The Super Bowl
Surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bowl, a diehard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby.
"It was my husband's," the woman explained, "but he died."
"I'm very sorry," said the man. "Yet I'm really surprised that another relative, or friend, didnt jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for him."
"Beats me," she said. "They all insisted on going to the funeral."
Why don't the blondes like football?
A blonde went to the Super Bowl and someone asked her afterwards how she liked it. She said she enjoyed many aspects of the experience, but she didn't understand why all the players were fighting so hard over 25 cents. She was asked what she meant. She said, "Well, before the game, they flipped a quarter and one team started out with it. For the rest of the game, they kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back.' Hellooooo?! It's only 25 cents, people."
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
What did everyone do after the Super Bowl was over?
Watch the second half.
You can explore super bowl bowls reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean super bowl soup dad jokes. There are also super bowl puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I was watching the Super Bowl with some friends...
and my fiancee's friend, who isn't very keen on sports, is commenting on the shoe polish streaks under their eyes.
She says "I just don't get it, what do those black things even do?"
I reply, "Well, play football, mostly."
So, it's now officially a week after the Super Bowl, can we please stop with the Super Bowl jokes?
They're going right over my head.
What's infinite times better than the Super Bowl?
The Hyperbole
I'll bet you $100 i can name the 2014 Super Bowl Champions!
What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
He turns off the PlayStation.
I heard the New England Patriots were going to be a little late to the Super Bowl
Someone deflated all of the tires on the team bus.
congrats Seahawks on winning the super bowl
from all of here in the 3rd world countries
"Hey Russell, You Want to Win Another Super Bowl?"
Wilson: "Nah, I'll pass."
Just saw this on Facebook.
Hey Russell wanna hold the super bowl trophy again this year?
No thanks, I'll pass
The Seahawks were going to go to Disney Land after the super bowl
but they decided to pass.
Seattle would you like to win the Super Bowl?
"No thanks. I'll pass."
I heard England won the Super Bowl...
But what would I know, I'm not a big fan of tennis anyways.
Pete Carroll was approached by a prostitute offering to cheer him up on the house after the super bowl.
He said, 'I'll pass."
The Patriots asked the Seahawks: "Do you want to win the Super Bowl?"
The Seahawks replied: "Nah, we'll pass."
Hey Russell Wilson, want another Super Bowl title?
"Nah. I'll pass."
It's ironic that Russell Wilson and Ciara are dating
...to win the Super Bowl, all his team needed was 1 or 2 steps
The Patriots winning a Super Bowl without cheating
Explain joke
What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl?
It's PAN-demonium!
Did you know Joe Montana and his brother have more super bowl wins than the Manning brothers?
And Joe Montana doesn't even have a brother!
What did Superman get at the supermarket?
A Super Bowl
Do you know what Minnesota doesn't have?
Super Bowl Babies.
Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich?
Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!
Why did the Broncos wear white jerseys in Super Bowl 50?
Because it's hard to catch a white bronco in California.
I don't get why people are upset with Beyoncé supporting the black panthers during the Super Bowl...
The losing team was already FULL of black panthers
You know, I predicted every Super Bowl winner since 1996...
the predictions may not have been *correct* but still they were predictions.
I can't watch the Super Bowl this year.
It's all a LI
Super bowl tickets
A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfare, accommodation, etc., but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5 p.m. Her name's Louise. She's 5' 6", about 120 lbs., good cook, makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress."
*this was forwarded to me by my dad just now, never heard before, thought was worthwhile for a chuckle.
So my cousin screwed up bigtime
My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
Hothead Pat, upset by how the Super Bowl is going, starts destroying things.
Police get on the megaphone trying to evacuate the area: "Go, Pat riots!"
Why will all of the referees check their voicemail immediately after the Super Bowl?
So they can hear someone say "no missed calls"
What is the largest super bowl of them all?
Forty.
No one knows what Lady Gaga is going to do during the Super Bowl...
Because you can't read her poker face.
I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight!
Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.
Congratulations to Tom Brady, the first player to be undefeated over 5+ Super Bowls.
He's won all 5/7.
This was the most Superbowlly Super Bowl ever
*Super Bowl LI
You know, I don't find the recent super bowl win all that historic...
After all, this isn't the first time Atlanta was burned by the north.
Tom Brady has a perfect record in the Super Bowl
He's 5 out of 7.
Interstate 85 is the worst collapse Atlanta's had...
...since losing the Super Bowl
Heard about the I-85 highway collapse in Atlanta
It's the biggest collapse they've had since the Super Bowl :(
Q: What do Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl?
A: Turn off the XBox.
A man is attending the Super Bowl, when he notices an empty seat.
Thinking this to be strange, the man asks the person sitting next to the empty seat if he knows who sits there. The guy replies: Well, I bought two tickets for my wife and I a long time ago, but she passed away. So the man asks: Couldn't you have brought someone else?
"They're all at the funeral."
Smart first grader
A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?
Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.
Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?
Then I'd be a football fan.
What did the composer say about the music at the Super Bowl?
It's in half time.
The chances of the Eagles winning the Super Bowl
have wentz out the window
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2018 Super bowl.
Both box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at St Christopher's Church, in Baldwin at 3pm. Her name is Ashley, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
The Minnesota Vikings walk into a bar
To watch the Super Bowl
My friend was talking about "Super Bowl Monday"
Friend: "We should get Super Bowl Monday to be a holiday. People spend all night watching the game, drinking, and partying, but in the morning they have to go to work."
Teacher: "Is that what you plan on doing on Sunday?
Friend: "No, I don't have a job."
My cousin has 2 tickets for the super bowl and paid $2500 for each ticket.
he didnt realize last year it was going to be the day of his wedding.
If interested he is looking for someone to take his place.
Her name is Lisa Phillips 35, about 140lbs, a good cook, She'll be in white
Patriots fans are being charged more money for Super Bowl tickets.
It's because of inflation.
I just saw the rapper Shaggy perform at the Super Bowl pre-game concert. In case you're wondering who invited him...
It wasn't me.
Poor children in African nations are really excited...
They're finally getting New England Patriot super bowl championship shirts!
After the Super Bowl, Tom Brady tried to mug me.
He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground.
Luckily, he fumbled me and I got away.
Best quote of the Super Bowl?
My Ball
-Zach Ertz
The Eagles won 41-33...
41 - 33 = 8
Tom Brady is 40 years old.
40 / 8 = 5
Patriots have 5 Super Bowl rings.
5 x 5 = 25
The falcons blew a 25 point lead.
Man, I love the Super Bowl...
But I still have no idea what the football bits are for.
Last night Philadelphia residents climbed light poles, flipped over cars, and set dumpsters on fire
Then things really got out of hand when they learned the Eagles won the Super Bowl
"Son, what would happen if neither team won the Super Bowl?"
"It's a Tide ad."
my friend bought tickets for the super bowl Llll on February 3rd 2019 in Atlanta not realizing that it is also the day of his marriage. so if someone is interested
The church is in Rochester, the womens name is Clarissa
I friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl.
They are box seats, and include travel and hotel accomodation. He didn't realise when he bought the tickets that it was the same date as his wedding - so now he can't go.
So if you're interested and want to go instead of him. It's at St James's Church in Bootle at 3pm. Her name is Susan. She will be the one in the white dress.
Yo momma so stupid...
She took a spoon to Super Bowl.
What did Hue Jackson do after he won the Super Bowl?
Turned off his xBox
So, there's the Super Bowl. After that, there's the Mega Bowl. Then, after that, there's the Giga Bowl.
Anymore than that, though, would just be Tera Bowl.
Funny Super Bowl Ads;
Amy Schumer has said she won't do any Super Bowl commercials this year in support of Colin Kapernic.
Thank God! Maybe this years Super Bowl commericals will be funny.
Super Bowl LI
Friend A: Hey you think the Pats can still win the Super Bowl?
Friend B: Well Brady better be lookin for his sperm bank receipt cause he's looking for that cumback!
I hate commercials so much these days. If all commercials were as funny as they are during the super bowl...
I'd still only be saving about 15% or more on my car insurance.
The super bowl is this weekend, don't forget to bring a jacket because it's supposed to get cold.
Luckily, there shouldn't be any Brees though.
Did you hear what weather is going to be for Super Bowl LIII?
Sunny, clear sky with no Brees.
If the Super Bowl goes into overtime, does that mean…
…the first 4 quarters were just a really long commercial since the game was Tide?
A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.
The guy sitting next to him says, Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967.
I'm sorry to hear that, says the first man. Couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?
Nope, replies the second guy. Everyone's at the funeral.
I just heard that Budweiser is suing Stella Artois for casting Sarah Jessica Parker in their Super Bowl LIII ad.
Apparently they have a trademark on beer advertisements starring a horse.
Super Bowl Halftime
At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0
I guess the Rams ended the Super Bowl the way they ended the season.
13-3.
Did you know that the Super Bowl was just on??
Apparently, neither did the
Los Angeles Rams.
They said that the Super Bowl was going to be exciting.
But that was a LIII.
Super Bowl LIII
One of the LOWEST POINTS of my life.
Maroon 5
At the Super Bowl
Congratulations Tony Romo.
For finally making it to the Super Bowl.
Americans always get sports wrong.
Why would the Super Bowl have no bowling?
Remember when the Super Bowl halftime was good?
Me neither.
Why Did the Super Bowl Suck?
Of course the Super Bowl is going to be dull; what do you expect when you bring Pepsi to a big party in Atlanta?
Sure was cold at the Super Bowl last night.
Thankfully there was no Brees though.
The tater tots I took to my friend's super bowl party..
were just like the Patriots.
A little old, but seasoned to perfection...
New England Patriots' Robert Craft is charged with soliciting prostitution.
He just wanted to show the masseuse where he wears his 6th super bowl ring.
Congrats to the Patriots on their 7th ring,
Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!
Robert Kraft - 7 rings.
Robert Kraft:
- 2001 Super Bowl Ring
- 2003 Super Bowl Ring
- 2004 Super Bowl Ring
- 2014 Super Bowl Ring
- 2016 Super Bowl Ring
- 2018 Super Bowl Ring
- 2019 Prostitution Ring
Why have the Patriots won so many Super Bowls?
Because the owner really likes a happy ending.
What do you call bringing Chick-fil-A to watch the Super Bowl at your friend's house?
A party fowl
Super bowl time! Can YOU pass a football?
am surprised you could even swallow one!
I know the score of this Sunday's Super Bowl before it starts.
0 - 0
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