Following is our collection of funny Super Bowl jokes. There are some super bowl cereal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these super bowl iron bowl puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Chips Ahoy
Gives the X Box back to grandkids
The Patriots
Every time they show Ray Lewis on the screen, stab someone in your party and then deny it was you.
Both teams suffered from blackouts
Surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bowl, a diehard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby.
"It was my husband's," the woman explained, "but he died."
"I'm very sorry," said the man. "Yet I'm really surprised that another relative, or friend, didnt jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for him."
"Beats me," she said. "They all insisted on going to the funeral."
A blonde went to the Super Bowl and someone asked her afterwards how she liked it. She said she enjoyed many aspects of the experience, but she didn't understand why all the players were fighting so hard over 25 cents. She was asked what she meant. She said, "Well, before the game, they flipped a quarter and one team started out with it. For the rest of the game, they kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back.' Hellooooo?! It's only 25 cents, people."
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
Watch the second half.
and my fiancee's friend, who isn't very keen on sports, is commenting on the shoe polish streaks under their eyes.
She says "I just don't get it, what do those black things even do?"
I reply, "Well, play football, mostly."
They're going right over my head.
You can explore super bowl bowls reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean super bowl soup dad jokes. There are also super bowl puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The Hyperbole
He turns off the PlayStation.
Someone deflated all of the tires on the team bus.
And a hockey game broke out.
Wilson: "Nah, I'll pass."
Just saw this on Facebook.
but they decided to pass.
But what would I know, I'm not a big fan of tennis anyways.
He said, 'I'll pass."
The Seahawks replied: "Nah, we'll pass."
"Nah. I'll pass."
What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl?
It's PAN-demonium!
Super Bowl Babies.
Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!
Because it's hard to catch a white bronco in California.
the predictions may not have been *correct* but still they were predictions.
A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfare, accommodation, etc., but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
Β
Β
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5 p.m. Her name's Louise. She's 5' 6", about 120 lbs., good cook, makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress."
*this was forwarded to me by my dad just now, never heard before, thought was worthwhile for a chuckle.
My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
Police get on the megaphone trying to evacuate the area: "Go, Pat riots!"
So they can hear someone say "no missed calls"
Forty.
Because you can't read her poker face.
Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.
He's won all 5/7.
*Super Bowl LI
After all, this isn't the first time Atlanta was burned by the north.
He's 5 out of 7.
...since losing the Super Bowl
It's the biggest collapse they've had since the Super Bowl :(
A: Turn off the XBox.
Thinking this to be strange, the man asks the person sitting next to the empty seat if he knows who sits there. The guy replies: Well, I bought two tickets for my wife and I a long time ago, but she passed away. So the man asks: Couldn't you have brought someone else?
"They're all at the funeral."
A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?
Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.
Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?
Then I'd be a football fan.
It's in half time.
have wentz out the window
Both box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.Β If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at St Christopher's Church, in Baldwin at 3pm. Her name is Ashley, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
To watch the Super Bowl
Friend: "We should get Super Bowl Monday to be a holiday. People spend all night watching the game, drinking, and partying, but in the morning they have to go to work."
Teacher: "Is that what you plan on doing on Sunday?
Friend: "No, I don't have a job."
he didnt realize last year it was going to be the day of his wedding.
If interested he is looking for someone to take his place.
Her name is Lisa Phillips 35, about 140lbs, a good cook, She'll be in white
It's because of inflation.
It wasn't me.
They're finally getting New England Patriot super bowl championship shirts!
He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground.
Luckily, he fumbled me and I got away.
My Ball
-Zach Ertz
41 - 33 = 8
Tom Brady is 40 years old.
40 / 8 = 5
Patriots have 5 Super Bowl rings.
5 x 5 = 25
The falcons blew a 25 point lead.
But I still have no idea what the football bits are for.
Then things really got out of hand when they learned the Eagles won the Super Bowl
"It's a Tide ad."
The church is in Rochester, the womens name is Clarissa
They are box seats, and include travel and hotel accomodation. He didn't realise when he bought the tickets that it was the same date as his wedding - so now he can't go.
So if you're interested and want to go instead of him. It's at St James's Church in Bootle at 3pm. Her name is Susan. She will be the one in the white dress.
She took a spoon to Super Bowl.
Friend A: Hey you think the Pats can still win the Super Bowl?
Friend B: Well Brady better be lookin for his sperm bank receipt cause he's looking for that cumback!
Luckily, there shouldn't be any Brees though.
Sunny, clear sky with no Brees.
β¦the first 4 quarters were just a really long commercial since the game was Tide?
The guy sitting next to him says, Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967.
I'm sorry to hear that, says the first man. Couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?
Nope, replies the second guy. Everyone's at the funeral.
Apparently they have a trademark on beer advertisements starring a horse.
At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0
13-3.
Apparently, neither did the
Los Angeles Rams.
But that was a LIII.
One of the LOWEST POINTS of my life.
At the Super Bowl
For finally making it to the Super Bowl.
Why would the Super Bowl have no bowling?
Me neither.
Of course the Super Bowl is going to be dull; what do you expect when you bring Pepsi to a big party in Atlanta?
Thankfully there was no Brees though.
were just like the Patriots.
A little old, but seasoned to perfection...
He just wanted to show the masseuse where he wears his 6th super bowl ring.
Super Bowls XXXVI (2001), XXXVIII (2003), XXXIX (2004), XLIX (2014), LI (2016), LIII (2018), Prostitution Ring (2019)!
Robert Kraft:
- 2001 Super Bowl Ring
- 2003 Super Bowl Ring
- 2004 Super Bowl Ring
- 2014 Super Bowl Ring
- 2016 Super Bowl Ring
- 2018 Super Bowl Ring
- 2019 Prostitution Ring
Because the owner really likes a happy ending.
A party fowl
am surprised you could even swallow one!
0 - 0
Why, why did you wake me up? I was having such a nice dream!
A Thief
I'M ASKING FOR A FRIEND............... A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl, 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
to watch the Super Bowl.
To ensure this doesn't happen again, all subsequent Super Bowls will be held in Dallas, Texas.
A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tix, 40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Prob bc of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place... Try to be on time. It's at Calvary church in Santa Monica at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.
A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tickets, 40 yard line box seats 20 rows up. He paid $4,500 each but he didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Probably because of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place...It's at Calvary church in San Clemente at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, very flexible and a decent cook too.
She'll be in the white dress.
Last minute I realize but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Inglewood, CA at SOFI stadium Tomorrow.
They are box seats that he spent $8,500 a piece for which includes a ride from the airport, open bar, and a pass to the winners locker room.
What he did not realize was last year when he purchased them that this is the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley and she is 5'5 and about a 110 pounds. She is a good cook and enjoys the outdoors.
Inflation is real
They are 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
0-0
40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them it was going to be on the same day as his wedding - probably because of the extra game this year. If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place...It's at Sacred Heart Catholic church in Los Angeles at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.
He literally said his knees were weak like 2 minutes earlierβ¦
Super Bowl halftime show, watching with my wife and boys, wife says The halftime show is a bunch of rappers from the 80's and 90's, including Eminem, I really like him.
7 year old: Mn'Ms are good, but I like Skittles better
Wife: Not the candies silly, the rapper!
7 year old: Why would you just eat the wrappers!?
Who else would you expect after two quarters?
It made perfect cents to me.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the super bowl bowl cut jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working super bowl toilet bowl piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.