The Best 63 Supe Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Supe jokes. There are some supe superhero jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these supe war puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Supe Jokes and Puns
The Super Bowl
Surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bowl, a diehard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby.
"It was my husband's," the woman explained, "but he died."
"I'm very sorry," said the man. "Yet I'm really surprised that another relative, or friend, didnt jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for him."
"Beats me," she said. "They all insisted on going to the funeral."
I like going to the supermarket...
because the cashier is always checking me out.
What did everyone do after the Super Bowl was over?
Watch the second half.
What did the super smart dude say to the moron?
What did the super smart dude say to the moron?
Why did the superconductor eat all the pudding?
It couldn't resist.
Why doesn't Superman need a boss? (OC)
He already has supervision.
How many Super Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL ZEEEEE!
(I really hope this isn't a repost)
I have a superiority complex
It's literally my ONLY flaw.
Where in the supermarket would you find the Dalai Lama?
Eggs-aisle.
How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?
Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!
I was in the supermarket when I got a message on my phone telling me there were 24 singles in my area,
Think I'm going to delete the Kraft Cheese app.
You can explore supe idly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean supe beach dad jokes. There are also supe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A supervisor at a Tickle-Me-Elmo factory...
...instructed an employee to give the dolls 'test tickles'. The dolls were recalled for being anatomically correct.
My new neighbor's super hot but I haven't tried to take her out yet...
When I checked the oven, she wasn't quite done.
How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?
only one but it takes him 5 episodes.
Who is Cap'n Crunch's superior Officer?
General Mills
What super hero league would Caitlyn Jenner be a member of?
The X men!
At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode...
I asked, "Are you two an item?"
superheros and religion are alot more similar than you think
Just a bunch people arguing whose fictional character is the best.
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don't serve your kind here.
The superconductor left without resistance.
If I could be any super hero, I think I'd be Aluminium Man.
My superpower would be foiling crime.
What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common?
Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...
I have a super secret baking recipe for bread
...Unfortunately it's on a knead to dough basis
What do Superman and Bloods have in common?
They're both getting killed by a Kryptonite.
Super bowl tickets
A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfare, accommodation, etc., but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5 p.m. Her name's Louise. She's 5' 6", about 120 lbs., good cook, makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress."
*this was forwarded to me by my dad just now, never heard before, thought was worthwhile for a chuckle.
This was the most Superbowlly Super Bowl ever
*Super Bowl LI
What does Superman put in his drink?
Just ice.
Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris
Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
I think everyone has a superiority complex
except for me
What Superhero group would Caitlyn Jenner be apart of?
The X-Men
Why does Superman have a lower case "s" on his chest?
Because not all heroes wear caps.
You know why Superman would be the best candidate for a management position?
Supervision.
Which superhero can beat Captain America?
Captain Vietnam
Why does Superman only daytrade bitcoin?
Because he can't go near crypto@night
How does Superman get out of risky situations?
He always has an 'S' cape
Why did Superboy never need a babysitter?
He always had super vision.
Superpowers....
Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?
-
No , she replies sleepily.
-
I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I'm getting super powers!
-
Emily replies groans: Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!
Superman got a divorce...
He can only see his kids with super vision now.
How many superheroes can you fit in one car?
Five
Two in the front
Two in the back
And Peter Parker in the ash tray
I have a superpower.... I can stop a bullet....
... once...
What did the Superhero wear to Court?
His Class Action Suit
The super bowl is this weekend, don't forget to bring a jacket because it's supposed to get cold.
Luckily, there shouldn't be any Brees though.
Super Bowl Halftime
At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0
They said that the Super Bowl was going to be exciting.
But that was a LIII.
I'm super friendly with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I just don't know why.
I was at the supermarket, looked three freezers down and saw the most beautiful busty blonde picking out Asian dinners. I took a quick glance at her hand and saw no wedding ring! Well, as you can imagine, I promptly did what any virile, red-blooded man would do with this opportunity...
I got really nervous, said absolutely nothing, and strictly avoided eye-contact at all costs...
I have the superpower of stopping a speeding bullet!
But just once.
Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious.
Now, we all know that Mahatma Gandhi didn't wear shoes when he walked, so he had rather large calluses on his feet. He also did not eat much, making him rather frail, and due to his diet, his breath was unpleasant, to say the least.
He was a super-callused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
A supervillain walks into a bank and says, "I'm Mr Marijuana Frostbite...!
...and I'm a stoned cold killer!"
If I could be any super hero I'd be Aluminum man
That way I could foil the bad guys
A new supermarket opened near me a few weeks ago.
They're trying a new thing: immersion! For example, when you stop by the deli you can smell fresh grass and hear cows mooing, at the fish section you smell sea salt and feel a small bit of spray on your face, and at the fruit stall you can see mist on the apples, and smell fields of oranges and pears.
I don't get toilet roll there anymore.
Superman can fly.
But Clark Kent
Super table
Clark Kent: *puts glasses on table*
Lois Lane: Is that our table? I don't recognize it.
Superman would have hated Elon Musk as much as Lex Luthor..
because Elon loves his Crypto.
Superstition
I was trimming my nails when my Grandfather said with a sigh "You should not cut your nails on Thursdays".
I had never adhered to these superstition but out of curiosity I asked, "What happens when I cut my nails on Thursday?"
He explained, "You see the weekend starts tomorrow Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's difficult to open the beer cans and the Lays packs without the nails."
Moral: Some superstitions do have a scientific basis!
Supervisor: You should have been here by 9!
Me: Why?! What happened at 9?
New superpower
A man applies to be a superhero as a part of the X-Men
When asked what his superpower is, the man replies "Hindsight".
The doctor says "That won't be of any use to us".
The man replies, "Yes, I see that now".
The Superman 2 movie and a documentary about the Moon Landing had accidently been scheduled at the same time for the Lunar Background part of the movie lot. They argued about who should get to use it first, but then they remembered:
Neil before Zod.
Super Bowl tickets!
Last minute I realize but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Inglewood, CA at SOFI stadium Tomorrow.
They are box seats that he spent $8,500 a piece for which includes a ride from the airport, open bar, and a pass to the winners locker room.
What he did not realize was last year when he purchased them that this is the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley and she is 5'5 and about a 110 pounds. She is a good cook and enjoys the outdoors.
Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight
The loser had to wear his underwear over his clothes for the rest of his life
Superman has to make a doctor appointment...
The doctor is baffled when he walks into the patient room and finds THE Superman sitting on the bench.
"Erm... hello Superman, what seems to be the problem? I'm going to be honest I didn't realize that the man of steel needed to go to the doctor.."
Clearly uncomfortable Superman lowers his gaze and sighs..
"Doc, this is a little embarrassing but it burns when I see..."
Why is Superman avoiding the hood?
>!He can be killed by a Crip tonight!<
Superman once went to a party.
Some people wore bitcoin suits, other dogecoin. Superman was upset, no one told him it was a crypto night.
A superconductor walks into a bar.
The bartender shouts, "Hey, we don't serve superconductors."
The superconductor didn't put up any resistance.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the supe superman jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working supe superheroes piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.