Sup Jokes
106 sup jokes and hilarious sup puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sup that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Sup Short Jokes
Short sup jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sup humour may include short jokes also.
- A Limerick There once was a man from Port Crown
Who went to a doctor in town.
The doc gave to he
A sup-po-si-to-ry.
"I will not take this sitting down!" - Salt: So nice to see you. Paprika: How do you do? Nutmeg: 'Sup.
Garlic: Yo!
Pepper: HI!
Oregano: Hola.
Seasons' Greetings everyone
Share These Sup Jokes With Friends
Sup One Liners
Which sup one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sup? I can suggest the ones about and .
- How do you say " 'sup dawg" in Japanese? Konichihuahua
- How many "sup dude"s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it's already lit fam.
- Basil works so well in soup! It's sup'erb
- What did the letter F say when he became cool? Sup G?
- What did Jesus say when everyone was seated? "Last sup, everybody?"
- A psychologist and a psychiatrist walks into a bar "Sup doc"
"Sup duck" - 17 [F4R] Sup ppl of the internet??
- How do you say "hello" in Vietnamese? 'sup, Pham?
- So my friend walked up to me and told me to eat. Whoops, wrong sup
- What did one paddle boarder say to other? sup
- What does a black guy wearing a fedora say to greet people? Sup m'**...
Sup Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about sup you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sup pranks.
The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens.
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases should have no reaction.
Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?"
Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"
She points up and says: "3 pulls"
Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.
Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."
Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"
Professor X, still standing: "Oh my god"
Did you hear Mary Poppins stopped wearing lipstick whilst giving head?
Apparently the super colour fragile lipstick makes the d**... atrocious.
How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Trump says it's changed and his supporters all cheer in the dark.
As a child, I always thought of my dad as a superhero
The Invisible Man
I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself...
my wife rushes through the room and shouts, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK"
two h**... trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud? .
God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232 .
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the o**... turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought .
Why do North Koreans draw line so well?
They have a Supreme Ruler.
If I'm ever on life support, unplug me...
Then plug me back in, see if that works.
The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from...
....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year
Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market
In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types.
But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.
One day, Canada will become a superpower and take over the whole world
Then you'll all be sorry
What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?
A supreme liter
Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?
Because they have a supreme ruler
Why can't Lebron James stand on his tippy toes?
He gets no support from his Cavs
My friend said to me, Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!? I said, Go on, then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! I said, That's Superman.
He said, Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot.
My girlfriend asked me if I could have a t**..., which of her friends I would choose.
Apparently, I was only supposed to name one, not two.
I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law.
Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
A man takes his wife to get tested
Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.
Super Bowl Halftime
At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0
Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?
God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the o**... turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought.
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I said, "If you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife!
He said, "Why? Is she super-hot too?
I said, "No, she's an optometrist!"
Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.
He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."
Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."
Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"
The student replies "An orphan."
Caitlyn Jenner becomes a super hero but doesn't know what group to join...
She's still deciding whether to be an Ex-men or a Trans-former
Judas: Hey Jesus, you coming to the last supper?
Jesus: the what?
Judas: the supper…I mean are you coming to the supper?
6 was afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.
2 days later he gets a call from the lab.
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.
Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!
Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.
For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero?
Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.
Last year a guy took his Blonde girl friend to the Superbowl
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the
tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you
mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was...
'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
This girl ran up to me at the cemetery and said "I need to pass through the cemetery but I'm scared to walk alone. Can you walk with me across?"
I said "Oh yeah of course. Don't worry, I used to be super scared of cemeteries when I was alive too."
I think the most patriotic part of the entire Super Bowl was Rihanna's halftime performance
Because there's nothing more American than for a woman to work while she's pregnant.
A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.
His friends see him and say, Hey man, what are you supposed to be?
He replies, Oh, I'm dressed as a turtle.
His friends respond, A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who's that woman on your back?
The man replies, Oh that's just Michelle.
I get that the #me too movement is supposed to be empowering...
But they could've picked a better slogan than PoundMeToo
Did you hear about that group where only Trump supporters are allowed?
Everyone else is forbiden
My wife is super upset at our neighbour who happens to enjoy suntanning in her backyard n**...
Personally though, I'm on the fence.
Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him.
After some time, Lois said Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I've regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.
You don't need to worry about that because, Clark said as he took off his glasses, I am Superman! Even if you didn't know it was me, in my eyes you were always faithful.
Oh thank God! said Lois. I can't tell you what a weight that is off my chest.
Glad we cleared that up, said Clark.
So I guess this means you were Batman too.
They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book
That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader
Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities.
Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.
I got into an argument with my daughter and she shouted, "1, 3, 5, 7, 9!"
I asked her, "What's that supposed to mean?"
She said, "I'm so mad, I can't even!"
Recent political joke circulating in China
Three men who don't know each other sits in a prison cell. Each explains why he was arrested.
The first man said: I opposed covid testing.
The second man said: I supported covid testing.
The third man said: I administered the covid tests.
Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal m**... should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritic pain.
In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support.
A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house's private study
Maid: "I'd like a raise."
Mrs. Smith:"Why do you think you deserve a raise?
Maid:"Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband. Second, I clean better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband.Third, I'm better in bed than you are."
Mrs. Smith:"I suppose my husband said that too?"
Maid:"No, the gardener."
Mrs. Smith:"How much do you want?"
My wife and I have decided we don't want children
We plan on telling them after supper
Brett Kavanaugh has stated that he will not be pressured into withdrawing his Supreme Court bid by the allegations made against him.
He sounds like the kind of guy who just won't take 'no' for an answer.
A sea cadet is being examined: "Suppose you're at sea and a storm comes up, what would you do?"
Cadet: I'd throw out an anchor.
Examiner: And what if another storm comes up.
Cadet: I'd throw out another anchor.
Examiner: But what if an even bigger storm comes up?
Cadet: I throw out an even bigger anchor.
Examiner: But where are you getting all your anchors from?
Cadet: The same place you're getting your storms.
Professor X [sitting in his wheel chair] asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?" Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"
She points up and says: "3 pulls"
Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.
Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."
r>Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"
Professor X, still standing: "Oh my god"
My 7 year old organically made this up!
Super Bowl halftime show, watching with my wife and boys, wife says The halftime show is a bunch of rappers from the 80's and 90's, including Eminem, I really like him.
7 year old: Mn'Ms are good, but I like Skittles better
Wife: Not the candies silly, the rapper!
7 year old: Why would you just eat the wrappers!?
My girlfriend's dog died so I got her an identical one
She got even more upset and shouted at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Guys, abortion may be i**... soon. If you accidentally get a girl pregnant, make sure she's an anti-vaxxer.
Instead of paying for 18 years of child support, you'll only have to pay for 3.
I know we're all supposed to be tolerant of people from other cultures, but is it too much to ask that Asian waiters learn that all Caucasians don't look alike? My waiter just served my food to some other customer!
Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.
Yo mama joke I thought of it
Yo mama is so fat and old that she's still eating from the last supper.
Edit : Jesus Christ this blew up. Didn't know so many of you had to release yo mamas from your system.
A transgender person cut me in line at the supermarket.
You're LGBT, right? I asked.
You forgot about the 'Q', they replied bluntly.
No, I said, you did.
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "Typical blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
2 Trump Supporters go to heaven
St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates and asks if there is anything in the universe they'd like to know before meeting God. The fist guy asks, "What was really in Hillary's emails?"
"Nothing incriminating really", replies St. Peter.
The other guy turns and whispers, "Wow, this goes higher than we thought."
A man goes into a job interview
A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.
The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!"
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
Hey girl, are you the Bible?
'Cause men keep misinterpreting what you say to support their own selfish agendas.
A man is drinking in a bar when a nun harasses him about drinking.
In self-defense the man says, Who told you that drinking is bad?
Nun : "Mother Superior told me."
Man : "So, have you ever tried it?"
Nun : "No, I haven't ever taken a drink of hard liquor."
Man : "Well, don't criticize me if you haven't tried it. I'll tell you what if you try it and don't like it, I'll give up drinking for life."
Nun : "Okay but bring it in a tea cup. I don't want people thinking I'm drinking."
The man goes up to the bartender and says, Bring me a couple of shots of v**... but bring one of them in a tea cup.
The bartender looked at the man and said, Is that nun in here again?
A farmer has 3 daughters, each has a date lined up for the night.
The farmer waits on the front porch for the dates to arrive, shotgun on hand.
The first date shows up and says "Hello sir, I'm Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna go get some spaghetti, is she ready?". The farmer nods, and Eddy and Betty go on their way.
The next date shows up and says "Hi there, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're gonna see the show, is she good to go?". Again the farmer nods and Joe and Flo go on their way.
A while later the last date shows up and says "Sup man, I'm Chuck"
And the farmer shoots him.
My daughter said she needed adult supervision
I told her she'd have to find someone else because I wear corrective lenses
How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?
Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!
You can tell that Wolverine is a Canadian character written by an American
His superpower is healthcare
Name one superhero that can beat Captain America...
Captain Vietnam
I try to teach my mom something new everyday.
Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes.
So I just turned 21 and there is still no change in my eyesight...
when do I get my adult supervision?
My girlfriend told me she will leave me if I don't support Trump...
I said ok.. Biden
A zookeeper lost a pair of mongoose to a storm and needed to replace them. He began writing an email to his supplier...
Dear sir, please send me two mongooses at once.
That didn't sound right, so he tried again.
Dear sir, please send me two mongeese at once.
That still didn't sound right, so he gave it one last attempt:
Dear sir, please send me one mongoose. And while you're at it- send me another mongoose.
(In memory of my dad who told that joke at every family gathering for 30 years.)
When a kid says
When a kid says " Daddy, I want mommy", that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
Ever since Bader Ginsburg died…
… The American Supreme Court has been Ruthless.
Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
Mom got a s**... change operation
After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a s**... change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.
That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.
"Did you seriously just have a s**... change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.
He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."
A s**... has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...
...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.
The Supreme Court has been making some rash decisions lately…
One could almost say they've been acting Ruth-lessly.
If Caitlyn Jenner were a super hero, what team would she be on?
The Ex-Men.
So, Jesus is going over the bill for the Last Supper...
So Jesus is going over the bill for the Last Supper when the apostles notice he has closed his eyes, and is rubbing the bridge of his nose. Exasperated, he asks: "Why... WHY would anyone order wine?"
So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot.
I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
A man cheats with his wife's sister
Man: Calm down! You haven't heard my side of the story!
Wife: You slept with my sister!
Man: When i got to work she was just laying there n**... on my table! What was I supposed to do?!
Wife: The autopsy!
PS: Didnt make this up
• My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog.
She was furious, she said *"what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"*
There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery...
The head of the group walks in and says, "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
A woman placed an ad in a news paper. 'I am looking for a male partner who needs to meet these three requirements.
1. He shouldn't beat me.
2. He shouldn't leave me.
Third and most important.
3. He should be great in bed.
One week later, her door bell rang, and she opened the door to find a man.
The man said, "Hi, I'm Peter. I don't have hands, so I can't beat you. I don't have legs so I can't leave you. I think I'm the guy."
The lady in an angry voice asked him back, "How the h**... are you supposed to be great in bed then? Didn't you read the third requirement?"
I think You're mistaken my lady.
Peter replied, "I rang the doorbell. Didn't I?"