The Best 52 Sunny Jokes

George and Mildred

It was a pleasant, sunny afternoon in the park, full of Sunday revelers. George and Mildred were sitting together on a park bench, feeding the ducks. Mildred turned to George and said: "You know George, we've been together 29 years now, don't you think its about time we were getting married?"

George stared reflectively into the distance and replied, "Aye, Lass, but who would have us?"

One sunny Saturday morning...

Joe and his buddy Ryan decide to go golfing. Joe was setting up his tee when a funeral procession drove by on the nearby road. Joe immediately took off his hat, and stood perfectly still until the procession had passed. Ryan said "Joe, that's one of the most respectful things I've ever seen." Joe responds, "Well, we were married for 35 years after all."

Ever wonder why it rains one day, and is sunny on the next?

Because the world is "bipolar".

whats the most popular drink at a nude beach?

Sunny D

A polar bear brings his car in to the mechanic

Mechanic tells him that it will be a few hours so the polar bear goes over to the supermarket and buys a bucket of vanilla ice cream. It's a hot sunny day and he goes over to the park bench to eat it. Then he wanders back to the garage. "Looks like you blew a seal," the mechanic says. "Oh no," the polar bear laughs, wiping his moth. "That's just ice cream."

Why can't midgets reach elevator buttons on a sunny day?

No Umbrella.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, on a sunny day their light comes from the glass ceiling.

edit; missing words

What do cats like to eat on sunny days?

Micecream.

Sachin and sunny leone

I was thinking, when does the weather change from partly cloudy to partly sunny?

When I step outside

What do cows drink joke

Say each of the questions aloud and then answer the final question.

What color are polar bears?
What color is cotton?
What color are clouds normally on a sunny day?
What color are marshmallows?

So what do cows drink?

Man Looking For A Sick Girl.

A man enters a store on a bright and sunny day looking for a girl called Lorraine. He asks the store owner if she is in today.
"No, she called in sick." The owner replied.
"Oh." The man continues. "Than can i have her number?"
"I wouldn't do that." The owner quickly says.
"Why?" The man asks in confusion.

"Well,"The owner quickly replies. "I wanna know, have you ever seen Lorraine, Comin' down on a sunny day?"

Two Italian men are deep sea fishing in the middle of the Mediterranean...

Vinny and Paulo were deep sea fishing on a bright sunny day when a World War II mine came floating along. Upon noticing this round spiky object coming nearer and nearer to the boat, Vinny shouted, "Paulo! It's a mine, it's a mine!!!"

Paulo replied, "Okay Vinny, you can-a have it!"

What do we call of spill of the world's most abundant resource?

A sunny day.

A friend was complaining about how hard it is to cook eggs sunny side up...

I told him to put a lid on it.

Watch sunny leone getting ANGRY in the SPLITSVILLA 8 Episode 7

What do you call a dirty puddle on a slab of cold concrete in dim, gloomy light?

A sunny day in Seattle.

Why is it always so sunny in Firefly and Serenity?

Because they only have one season.

What do you get when you fall asleep in Jamaica on a sunny afternoon?

A Red Stripe.

What do terrorists eat when its sunny?

Choc-ISIS

Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?

Don't know they're just a bit shady.

First Pitch or ...

One sunny afternoon in 1999, Bill and Hillary Clinton were at a baseball game. Right as the game was getting ready to start, Bill stood up, picked up Hillary, and threw her out onto the baseball diamond. When Bill Clinton sat down, his chief advisor leaned over to him and said, "You know, Bill, you may have misunderstood me. I said you that you get to throw out the first pitch."

Sunny side up!

Growing up I never knew what a sunrise was until one day it dawned on me.

A grape threw a huge outdoor party on a hot, sunny day...

It was raisin' the roof.

Why is it always sunny in Russia?

Putin doesn't like rainbows.

Sunny day with my gf.

I ask honey if I could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century," she said. We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad."

She is right, I kill the son of b* in one shot.

I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

Today morning I ate an unhatched chick

Just to bring any comfort and optimism to everyone, I had the unhatched chick sunny side up.

~Original

My muslim neighbors were fighting over their suzuki and nissan cars.

The Ciaz vs Sunny problems are getting out of hand.

Today's forecast is going to be....

Partially sunny......

Weather report calls for partially sunny

I wonder if that's due to clouds or the moon.

Weather forecast for today: Partly sunny...

... partly moony.

Thanks mom for the corny joke to share on the internet.

What's the best beer for drinking on a sunny day?

Natural Light.

Bulls on a Parade

On a hot sunny day, I went to a record store. A song was playing on the speakers. Angrily, I picked up a hammer and started banging the speaker system.
The confused owner asked, "What is this?"
I said, "Rage Against the Machine."

What do you call Vladimir Putin after a horseback ride on a sunny day?

Russian dressing

I would make confusing meteorologist,

When it's sunny, I call it a light shower.

When it's sunny, I think, "beer garden!"

When it rains, I usually go to the bar for a while.

When it's snowing, I like to sit in front of the TV with a case of beer.

I'm starting to think I have a problem with the weather…

A weather girl walks into a chemist

And buys an umbrella, a pair of sunglasses and a box of tampons.

She was expecting rain with sunny periods that day

4 Weather Patterns Are In A Race

Sunny gets gold.

Cloudy gets silver.

Snowy gets bronze.

And Rainy gets a precipitation award.

My mother in law complained that the thermometer I gave her (which she hung in a very sunny spot) wasn't showing an accurate temperature.

So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

A drummer was standing outside of his car panicking because he accidentally locked his keys inside it.

It was a very hot sunny day and the bassist was still inside the car.

Dad, its sunny here

Son, it's daddy here

It was sunny out so i put sunglasses on a tree.

Suddenly it was very shady!

Google Weather reported today is a cloudy day. But it is a clear sunny day.

Something must have happened to Google clouds.

Did you hear what weather is going to be for Super Bowl LIII?

Sunny, clear sky with no Brees.

I was driving with my daughter on a beautiful sunny day this winter and I said, "I can't believe how poor the visibility is."

She said, "What do you mean? It's perfectly clear." Pointing down I said, "I can only see four feet in front of us."

Warm, sunny day here in the mountains with lots of melting starting. I think the Icelandic have a word for this weather

Dogturdsarethawen

Three elderly ladies sitting on a park bench

Three very old ladies were sitting on a park bench together on a lovely sunny day when a flasher stopped at the end of their bench, faced them and exposed himself!

Well the old lady closest to him took a look and immediately had a stroke! Then the lady in the middle of the bench also looked then had a stroke! The last old lady at the end of the bench, poor love, couldn't reach that far.

Why would you really want to win a game of beach volleyball on a hot and sunny day?

Because defeat hurts.

OC Dad joke

Farmers say that when all the cows are standing up in the field, it's going to be rainy weather.

When all of the cows are sitting down, it's going to be sunny weather.

What is the weather going to be if half the cows are standing and half are sitting?

Partly Cowdy.


You're welcome.

My neighbour always seems to hang up his laundry on sunny days, but never on rainy days.

One day I decided to ask him how he always knew which days to hang his laundry.

"Well," he explained, "if I wake up and my wife is lying on her side, I know it's going to rain and I shouldn't hang my laundry. If I wake up and she's lying on her front, I know it's not going to rain and I should hang my laundry."

"That's a very interesting method," I replied, "but what if she's lying on her back?"

"Ah, those days," he said, "I have better things to do than laundry!"

I love sunny side up eggs. But no matter how far in advance I plan to make one...

...I always wind up scrambling at the last minute.