No son, have you seen my dad glasses?
A) Use happy sunglasses emoji
B)
The man replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.
You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.
I did, the man replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach.
Oakley Dokelys
*on Shark Tank*
Sharks: what's your idea?
Me: ridiculously wide sunglasses
Shark 1: I'm out
Shark 2: I'm out as well
Hammerhead shark: tell me more
"Can you pass me my sunglasses?"
"Sure." Replied the dad. "Then can you pass me my dadglasses?"
You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses.
You can stare at em longer if you're wearing sunglasses.
"As soon as you hand me my dadglasses, Son."
A) Make the sunglasses face
B)
They might have protected him from harmful rays
I said
"I don't know, where are my dadglasses?"
A man was pulled over, and the officer noticed a group of penguins in the backseat.
Officer: You need to take those penguins to the zoo.
Man: Ok, I will.
The next day the man was pulled over by the officer and he notices the same group of penguins in the backseat but they all had sunglasses on.
Officer: I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.
Man: I did. Today we're going to the beach.
Sitting on his face.
A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.
As the plane begins to accelerate, the passengers see the end of the runway rapidly approaching, with certain doom awaiting at the end if the pilots really can't see what they're doing. Just before the end of the runway, all the passengers scream together--right before the plane lifts off. They're a little upset, but relieved that the pilots aren't really blind.
In the cockpit, the pilot turned to his copilot and remarked: "you know, Lou, one of these days they're not going to scream in time, and then we'll be in real trouble!"
One day a Cop pulls a van over and when he walks up to the window he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man "are those your penguins?"
The man Says "yes, they are my pets."
The cop replies to the man "You need to take them to the zoo right now."
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day the cop pulls over the same van and he walks up to the window and sees the ten pengins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man "I thought i told you to take those penguins to the zoo."
The man says "I did, today we are going to the beach!"
So two guys are walking their dogs one day, one has a German Shepherd the other has a Chihuahua. They pass by a bar and the guy with the German Shepherd turns to the guy with the Chihuahua and asks if he wants to go in for a drink. The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You're crazy, they'll never let dogs into the bar." to which the guy with the German shepherd replies, "No no, watch this."
He pulls out a pair of dark sunglasses, puts them on and walks into the bar, acting as if his German Shepherd is a seeing eye dog. He goes up to the counter, asks for a drink and the bartender gets it for him no problem.
So the guy with the Chihuahua pulls out a pair of dark sunglasses, puts them on and walks in, acting like his Chihuahua is a seeing eye dog. The guy asks for a drink and the bartender replies, "I'm sorry sir there are no dogs allowed in this bar."
"Hey man, it's a seeing eye dog, c'mon."
The bartender looks skeptically down at the Chihuahua and asks, "A Chihuahua is a seeing eye dog?"
The guy pauses for a second then exclaims, "Wait, they gave me a *Chihuahua?!?*"
They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.
The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the plane lifts, avoiding the fence at the last second. All the passengers calm down, thinking it was a bad joke.
In the pilot cabin, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says : "You know what? One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die"
A man was driving down the road with three penguins in the back seat of his car. He's pulled over by police officer.
"Can I see your license and regi...what are you doing with three penguins in your car? You can't have these penguins! Go take them to the zoo right now, get out of here..."
The man drives off to the zoo. The next day the man is driving down the same road with the same three penguins in the back of his car. The penguins are all wearing sunglasses, have towels, and sunscreen on their beaks. The same cop see's him again and pulls him over.
"You again, and still with the penguins! I thought I told you to take them to the zoo?!?!"
The man replied, "I did take them to the zoo. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Wouldn't it be cheaper to just tint the kitchen windows!
A) Use the sunglasses face
B)
AND you can look longer with sunglasses!
Because they have no buccaneers!
Happy speak like a pirate day!
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlight
Submarine screen door
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart board
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chair
Water proof tea bags
Zero proof alcohol
Reusable ice cubes
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Sunglasses.
They're shady
Polarized and able to be bought surprisingly cheap.
To protect their FB-eyes
"Man a beer would be delicious right about now" says one. His friend says, "But there's a sign in the window - 'NO DOGS ALLOWED'." First guy says, "No problem - watch this", puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks in to the bar. Second guy watches him go in and be seated by the bartender who brings him a frosty pint. He thinks "good idea!" and does the same - until the bartender sees him and says "HEY! The sign says NO DOGS ALLOWED." Guy says, "But this is my seeing-eye-dog!" Bartender says "Who ever heard of a chihuahua as a seeing-eye-dog?!?" Guy says, "WHOA!! They gave me a Chihuahua??"xs
A coconut on vacation.
Because I feel cooler
Every year while he was in his 20's and 30's, he'd go and participate in the local run. There was a guy who showed up every year, didn't even live in the town. Bit creepy, to be honest, but an alright guy. Anyway, he'd walk up to my grandfather, every year, in these same green sunglasses. He'd tell a story about two priests walking in to a bar, and they couldn't be served for some reason or another. He doesn't remember all the details. But this same guy walked up to the starting line, and told the same story, every year.
The story was never that interesting, but it became a bit of a running joke between them.
A) Put on sunglasses
B)
"I can't see myself wearing these" said the old man.
"Why not?" asked the clerk.
"Because I'm blind".
One leg over each ear...
Slim Shady.
When he gets to the window, he sees the driver has 5 penguins in his backseat. He asks the man why he has penguins in his car. The man replies, "These are my penguins, and they belong to me. The office says, "You need to take them back to the zoo immediately."
The next day, the officer sees the same man driving down the road. He pulls him over again and sees the penguins are in his backseat again and are all wearing sunglasses. The police officer says, "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
"Oh... I did", the driver says, "And today I'm taking them to the beach."
I also bumped into the optometrist, the receptionist and I knocked over their sunglasses display.
A man was driving around with a bunch penguins in the back of his truck and a cop pulled him over.
Officer: what in the world do you think you're doing son?
Man: we're just out for a ride officer.
Officer: I'm not gonna write you any tickets but you need to take these penguins to the zoo!
The next day, the cop sees this guy again with all the penguins still in the truck. He notices that this time they're all wearing sunglasses. He pulls the man over again.
Officer: son I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!
Man: I did officer, but that was yesterday. Today we're going to the beach!
"Nope. Have you seen my dad glasses?"
It wasn't worth it to ask him if he had any sunscreen...
One's a rad bat, the other's a bad rat
The trade was very shady.
When a man walked in wearing sunglasses and holding a white and red walking stick, demanding all our money.
He was robbing us blind!
The sunglasses sit higher on your face.
Turns out, Craig is black.
But instead of buying new ones, I'm just gonna put Trump pictures where the lenses used to be. He seems to be far more polarizing than my Costas ever were.
He goes up to the local pub with a strong man blocking his way.
"I want to drink the night away!"
The muscular guard takes off his sunglasses and says,
"What would you do for a Klondike bar?"
He was looking shady.
A) emoticon puns and sunglasses
B)
They seemed to either love them or hate them.
Because they're so polarizing
nothing, he didn't recognise him
Wasn't that bright
I said 'You never told me you had a son named glasses!'
A) Use the cool sunglasses emoticon
B)
He looked pretty shady.
So when I ordered blue tinted sunglasses and got the wrong color, I was seeing red.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
"Summer wear over the rainbow."
(⌐■_■)
*Shady.*
I can't wear my sunglasses at night.
"I'm above you."
I honestly can't see what all the fuss was about.
Why don't deaf people wear ear muffs?
wearing black sunglasses and a walking cane.
A shop assistant comes over and says "sorry sir, but we don't allow dogs in here".
The man replies, "but this is my guide dog!".
"Oh.." says the shop assistant, "I thought they were meant to be labradors?"
The man says "oh god, what have I got!"
I replied, "Must have left them in my other genes"
And buys an umbrella, a pair of sunglasses and a box of tampons.
She was expecting rain with sunny periods that day
(*lowers sunglasses*)
" ... without the *sus*?"
We have collected gags that can be used as Sunglasses pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Sunglasses, here are one liners and funny Sunglasses pick up lines.