The Best 68 Sunglasses Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Sunglasses jokes. There are some sunglasses headwear jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sunglasses specs puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Sunglasses Jokes and Puns
Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?
No son, have you seen my dad glasses?
What does the sun drink out of?
Sunglasses.
I don't know why women spend so much money on sunglasses...
Wouldn't it be cheaper to just tint the kitchen windows!
Blonde Inventions
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlight
Submarine screen door
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart board
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chair
Water proof tea bags
Zero proof alcohol
Reusable ice cubes
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
Blind pilots
A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.
As the plane begins to accelerate, the passengers see the end of the runway rapidly approaching, with certain doom awaiting at the end if the pilots really can't see what they're doing. Just before the end of the runway, all the passengers scream together--right before the plane lifts off. They're a little upset, but relieved that the pilots aren't really blind.
In the cockpit, the pilot turned to his copilot and remarked: "you know, Lou, one of these days they're not going to scream in time, and then we'll be in real trouble!"
Why can't pirates wear sunglasses?
Because they have no buccaneers!
Happy speak like a pirate day!
Did you hear the one about the umbrella in the trench coat and sunglasses?
He was looking shady.
what kind of sunglasses doe Janay Rice wear?
Ray-Bans!
So my son asked me where his sunglasses are.
I said
"I don't know, where are my dadglasses?"
Son: Where are my sunglasses?
Son: Where are my sunglasses?
Father: I don't know...where are my dadglasses?
Wearing sunglasses makes you look
(⌐■_■)
*Shady.*
You can explore sunglasses pair reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sunglasses helmets dad jokes. There are also sunglasses puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How to become cool
A) Put on sunglasses
B)
What did the arrogant sunglasses say to the nose?
"I'm above you."
I bought a new pair of polarizing sunglasses and was asking my friends what they thought of them.
They seemed to either love them or hate them.
What does the sun and cleavage have in common?
You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses.
What kind of sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear?
Oakley Dokelys
What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sunglasses?
The sunglasses sit higher on your face.
I just bought sunglasses off of the black market
The trade was very shady.
I sweat less when I wear sunglasses ...
Because I feel cooler
Saw a guy wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day
Wasn't that bright
How to be cool:
A) Use the cool sunglasses emoticon
B)
My father always told me, he liked his women like he liked his sunglasses.
Sitting on his face.
Steps to being cool
A) Use the sunglasses face
B)
Broke my good sunglasses...
But instead of buying new ones, I'm just gonna put Trump pictures where the lenses used to be. He seems to be far more polarizing than my Costas ever were.
Did you hear about the sunglasses theif?
He was pretty shady.
If blind people wear sunglasses...
Why don't deaf people wear ear muffs?
When I took off my sunglasses, my roommate said, "I thought you had blue eyes."
I replied, "Must have left them in my other genes"
The smoothest man on Earth bought a meal in a breakfast joint and asked his beautiful waitress "May I please have the Sussex Cakes ..."
(*lowers sunglasses*)
" ... without the *sus*?"
How to be cool
A) Use happy sunglasses emoji
B)
A son asked his dad
"Can you pass me my sunglasses?"
"Sure." Replied the dad. "Then can you pass me my dadglasses?"
My son asked me to hand him his sunglasses.
I said 'You never told me you had a son named glasses!'
The only problem I have with transition lenses is...
I can't wear my sunglasses at night.
What do you call a skinny man in sunglasses?
Slim Shady.
I decided to watch the eclipse with only sunglasses, in spite of all the warnings.
I honestly can't see what all the fuss was about.
Shark Tank
*on Shark Tank*
Sharks: what's your idea?
Me: ridiculously wide sunglasses
Shark 1: I'm out
Shark 2: I'm out as well
Hammerhead shark: tell me more
What's the difference between a flying mammal in sunglasses and a mouse in disguise?
One's a rad bat, the other's a bad rat
Why do the FBI always wear sunglasses?
To protect their FB-eyes
I saw a guy put on two pairs of sunglasses.
He looked pretty shady.
A man was pulled over...
A man was pulled over, and the officer noticed a group of penguins in the backseat.
Officer: You need to take those penguins to the zoo.
Man: Ok, I will.
The next day the man was pulled over by the officer and he notices the same group of penguins in the backseat but they all had sunglasses on.
Officer: I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.
Man: I did. Today we're going to the beach.
My friend Craig got me those sunglasses for colourblind people; yesterday I saw colour for the first time.
Turns out, Craig is black.
If only Steve Irwin wore sunglasses
They might have protected him from harmful rays
I looked up at the multicoloured sky, where sandals and sunglasses floated above everything. Then I couldn't stop myself, and I broke out into song.
"Summer wear over the rainbow."
A weather girl walks into a chemist
And buys an umbrella, a pair of sunglasses and a box of tampons.
She was expecting rain with sunny periods that day
Was in line at the bank today
When a man walked in wearing sunglasses and holding a white and red walking stick, demanding all our money.
He was robbing us blind!
What sunglasses can see inside your eyes?
X-Ray Bans
I hate when companies get orders wrong
So when I ordered blue tinted sunglasses and got the wrong color, I was seeing red.
I like my sunglasses like I like my politicians,
Polarized and able to be bought surprisingly cheap.
Dad, will you hand me my sunglasses?
"As soon as you hand me my dadglasses, Son."
A young sales clerk removed an old mans sunglasses and insisted he tries on a new pair.
"I can't see myself wearing these" said the old man.
"Why not?" asked the clerk.
"Because I'm blind".
I have a plan...
A) emoticon puns and sunglasses
B)
Meanwhile on Shark Tank...
me: ridiculously wide sunglasses
shark 1: i'm out
shark 2: i'm out
hammerhead shark: i'm listening
"Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?"
"Nope. Have you seen my dad glasses?"
It wasn't worth it to ask him if he had any sunscreen...
I don't like sunglasses
They're shady
How to be cool:
A) Make the sunglasses face
B)
A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man's truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?
The man replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.
You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.
I did, the man replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach.
Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You look, you get a sense of it, and you look away.
AND you can look longer with sunglasses!
Girl, I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses...
One leg over each ear...
What did the zoo keeper say when he saw the elephant wearing sunglasses?
nothing, he didn't recognise him
Boobs are like the sun.
You can stare at em longer if you're wearing sunglasses.
What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
A blind man walks into a shop with a chihuahua...
wearing black sunglasses and a walking cane.
A shop assistant comes over and says "sorry sir, but we don't allow dogs in here".
The man replies, "but this is my guide dog!".
"Oh.." says the shop assistant, "I thought they were meant to be labradors?"
The man says "oh god, what have I got!"
Why can't sunglasses have political opinions?
Because they're so polarizing
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
A guy in a Canadian city wants to get hammered.
He goes up to the local pub with a strong man blocking his way.
"I want to drink the night away!"
The muscular guard takes off his sunglasses and says,
"What would you do for a Klondike bar?"
Went to the optometrist office today and bumped into an old friend!
I also bumped into the optometrist, the receptionist and I knocked over their sunglasses display.
A man named Jeff was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him.
The officer looked in the back of Jeff's truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?
Jeff replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.
You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw Jeff driving down the road once again. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.
I did, Jeff replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach."
Bought A Pair Of Polarized Sunglasses
Some people like 'em, some people hate 'em.
How come Voldemort hates the sun?
Because his sunglasses won't stay up
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sunglasses boots jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working sunglasses umbrellas piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.