The Best 69 Sun Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sun jokes. There are some sun astronomers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sun sunbath puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sun Jokes and Puns

I completed another lap around the Sun, but I only get half a minute to celebrate today.

It's my thirty-second birthday.

Dad can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is

No sun

I once stayed up all night trying figure out where the sun went

Then it dawned on me

Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...

And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.

 
 
 
 

I was so exhausted when I went to bed that I slept right through my son and his friends having a raging weed and heavy metal party in the yard all thru the night. As the sun came up, the party was still in full swing and my phone had blown up with messages complaining about the noise and the smell.

So I wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs 'WHAT'S GOIN' ON?'


A mummy calls a restauraunt.

- Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.

What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon?

An Apocaclipse.

The Sun doesn't need to go to college

Because it already has 28 million degrees.

Why can you see the LGBT colours in the sky after it rains?

Because the sun just came out.

From my dad: What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?

Your camera.

An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space

Lord , he prays, I cannot stand this, please open a parking space for me and I swear I'll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.

The clouds part and the sun shines on an empty space in the car park. Without hesitation the Irishman says, Actually never mind, I've found one.

You can explore sun sunset reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sun oxidation dad jokes. There are also sun puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Dear God,

If you want us to impeach Trump, just give us a sign. Like blot out the sun. Anytime in the next week.

Thanks,

America.

A man stumbles into his house early in the morning...

after a night of partying and heavy drinking, just as the sun is coming up. His wife is waiting for him at the kitchen table, glaring at him.

"Is there a reason you're coming home at 6 in the morning with alcohol on your breath, lipstick on your collar?" She shouts at him.

"Yes there is," he replies.
"I would like some breakfast"

TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun.

Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.

My parents always tell me that their world doesn't revolve around me

I guess that means that I'm not actually their sun :(

Vampires suck your blood to get vitamin D, because they can not be out in the sun.

Have you ever thought about that?

No, because all you think about is yourself.

I suddenly forgot where the sun went at night...

...then it dawned on me.

What's the difference between an Australian and a pot of yogurt?

Leave a pot of yogurt in the sun for 200 years and it develops a culture.

When the US went to the moon....

...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.


There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.

Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.

Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.

"Got no clue", he said.

I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"

He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."

Dad, do you know why it's so dark out?

No sun.

My parents are always telling me that their world doesn't revolve around me

So....I guess that means that I'm not actually their sun :(

How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun?

Planet

What does the sun and cleavage have in common?

You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses.

I was in a long staring contest with the sun.

Everything is dark now, dare I say it, I must have won.

This morning I was wondering why the sun wasn't rising...

And then it dawned on me

Boobs are like the sun.

You can stare at em longer if you're wearing sunglasses.

The wisest men in the village could not figure out where the sun went at night.

So they stayed up all night discussing it.
And then it dawned on them.
 
(I'll see myself out.)

Why couldn't the dyslexic plantation owner get anything done?

Gingers just don't last in the sun.

Roll call on the first day of school in London, England....

Ahmed Al Sheriah ............................."Here."

Mustafa Al Sheriah ............................"Here."

Fatima El Bindihiri ............................."Here."

Ali Acmah Shabeeb ............................."Here."

Ali Sun Al En ..........................No answer.

Ali Sun Al En?

A little girl at the back stands up and yells .... "It's pronounced Alison Allen, for Christ's sake!"

If you leave a grape out in the sun, it'll shrivel and dry up...

Just raisin awareness

TIL You can watch the sun through a telescope without any filters.

Only twice though...

I was up late last night, trying to figure out why the sun disappeared

Then it dawned on me....

TIL the American flag on the moon is now bleached completely white by the sun so historians and/or other species would never know it was America that first landed on the moon

They'll think it was France

I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like!

[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

If Bruno Mars married Venus Williams on Earth, do you think they'd have a Sun?

Only if they planet.

Don't trust people who avoid the sun.

They're shady.

Earth is the third planet from the sun.

By this logic, all countries are third world countries

Bread is a lot like the sun..

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone

And then it dawned on me

What type of flower grows in the surface of the sun?

An Ultra-Violet

If Earth is the third planet from Sun after Mercury and Venus

Doesn't that make every country a third world country?

TIL that the radiation of the sun has caused the American Flag on the moon to be completely white

So now it looks like France visited first

A man is struggling to find a parking space. Lord, he prays. I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday."

Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot.

Without hesitation, the man says: Never mind, I found one!

I had a staring contest with the sun

I think I won, all I see is darkness now.

If only Steve Irwin wore sun screen.

He could have been protected from harmful rays.

I achieved my New Year's revolution from last year.

I made it all the way around the sun.

The sun blacks out on a work day & everyone is amazed.

I do it and people say I've "got a problem."

If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,

Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.

Know your eclipses.

Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.

A man goes to his optometrist...

He complains, "Doc, I can't see things far away. What can you do to help?" The optometrist says "Follow me." and heads outside.

He points to the sun and asks the man, "Can you tell me what you see there?" The man replies, "That's the sun, of course!"

The optometrist then says, "How much further do you want to see?!"

I couldn't see the eclipse of the sun today! 😡

Friggin' moon was in the way! 😡

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, Listen. Differences aside, we can't let you send people to the sun. It's suicide. They burn to death even at far distances! Please don't carry out this mission! The Iranians laughed wittily amongst themselves, jabbing each other with elbows and pointing at the westerners as one Iranian says, Stupid Americans! They think we're going during the daytime!

Kim Jong Un proudly tells his advisors: North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

How are you going to send people to the sun? It's too hot!

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

What an idiot! We can send them at night!

His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:

What an idiot!…

There is no sun at night!

How does the sun cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

A cut above the rest

Once upon a time a powerful emperor of the rising sun advertised for a new chief samurai. Three men applied, A Japanese samurai, A Chinese swordsman And a Jewish samurai. The three met with the emperor to see who would get the job. "Japanese Samurai Show me your skill", the Japanese samurai stepped forward and released a fly from a box and the Japanese samurai cut the fly in two. "very impressive" said the emperor. "Chinese Swordsman Show me your stuff", the Chinese man stepped forth and released a fly from its box and with two swings of his swords cut the fly neatly into Quarters. "A marvelous feat" the Chinese swordsman was pleased. "How are you going to top that Jewish samurai?" The Jewish Samurai stepped forth and released his fly from a box, and with a mighty blow swepped his sword through the air and the fly continued to fly about. "what kind of skill is that? the fly isn't dead" the emperor laughed. "dead is easy" the Jewish samurai replied "Circumcision... now that takes skill".

The Sun Mission

Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!

A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"

There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react. Then Kim Jong-un quietly answered "We will land at night". The entire audience broke out in thunderous applause !

Back in the White House, Donald Trump and his entourage were watching the news conference on TV. When Trump heard what Kim had said, he sneered - "What an idiot. There is no sun at night time !"

Now, his cabinet broke up in thunderous applause !!

DPRK sends astronaut to the sun

Kim Jong Un is sitting in his office. He proudly tells his advisors:

North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

How are you going to send people to the sun? It's too hot!

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

What an idiot! We can send them at night!

His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:

What an idiot!…

There is no sun at night!

A young first officer asks his Captain

A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"

And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"

"Yes, my sir, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."

"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all these stupid things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."

All of the flags on the moon have been bleached white by the radiation from the sun..

.. making it officially French territory.

Earth is 3rd from the Sun

That means all our problems are 3rd world problems

The Drill Sergeant

A drill sergeant runs his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on. As they stand there, exhausted, he puts his face right up to one recruit's face and says, "I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you could come and pee on my grave, aren't you?"
The recruit responds, "No, sir! When I get out of the army I'm never gonna stand in another line again."

Another Blonde Joke

A blonde, an American, and a Russian are in a bar, bragging about why they're better. The Russian says, "We were the first into space!" The American says, "We were the first on the moon!" The blonde says,"Well we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The American says,"You know you can't do that, right? You'll burn up before you get there." The blonde says,"Well we're not dumb! We're going to go at night!"

Scottish man at the ranch

A scottish man is visiting a texas oilman. They spend hours touring the ranch; it's an enormous property. Eventually the oilman brags, "I can jump in my car and drive until sun down. I'd never hit the edge of my claim!". The scotsman replies, "Aye, I had a car like that once too".

A friend went to the CVS in Baltimore after the looting to pick up some items,

the only things left behind were sun tan lotion and father's day cards.

What's the difference between and Aussie and a Yoghurt?

If you leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 200 years, it will develop a culture.

One Sunday, with one hand motion, God caused the Earth to begin to revolve around the Sun. "What should we call it when it goes all the way around?" asks Adam.

"A year," God replied.

Now, he made another hand motion, and the Earth began to rotate on a tilted axis.

"What should we call it when it rotates all the way around?" Adam asks.

God sighs and takes a seat on the grass below. "Let's call it a day."

I was staring at the stars

wondering where the sun was and then it dawned on me

I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.

I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone.

It was then that my worst fears were realized, that I was trapped on a dessert Island.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sun galaxies jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sun sunrise piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes