Summer Vacation Jokes
35 summer vacation jokes and hilarious summer vacation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about summer vacation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Summer Vacation Short Jokes
Short summer vacation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The summer vacation humour may include short summer break jokes also.
- I can count the times I was on a vacation in Chernobyl on one hand This summer, it will be my 15th time going there
- Due to COVID-19, this was the first year I could not go to Switzerland for my summer vacation Otherwise it's due to the lack of money.
- First women-Seceond woman First woman: My son came to visit for summer vacation.
Second woman: How nice! Did you meet him at the airport?
First woman: Oh, no. I've known him for years! - Why do kids like summer vacation so much? It's the only time they will ever get to experience a classless society
- Why did your grandparents' schools invent summer vacation? There wasn't any snow for the children to walk through uphill both ways to get to school.
- Why didn't the elephant buy a suitcase for his summer vacation? Because he already had a trunk!
- Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: "Where to Stay on Vacation" by Moe Tell.
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Summer Vacation One Liners
Which summer vacation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with summer vacation? I can suggest the ones about vacation and family vacation.
- I vacationed at a nudist colony this past summer... the first few days were the hardest.
- Why are teachers so rude during summer vacation? Because they have no class
- Where do cows go on their summer vacation? Moo York.
- What did Shakespeare say on the last day if his summer vacation? Once more unto the beach
- What summer vacation destination makes a pet bird sing for joy? The Canary Islands!
- Why did the robot go on summer vacation? He needed to recharge his batteries.
- Where do sharks go on summer vacation? Finland!
- Where do you send hyperactive jewish children for summer vacation? Concentration camp.
- Last summer holiday I went to Iraq for vacation..... I was so scared Iran
Great Summer Vacation Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about summer vacation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids summer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make summer vacation pranks.
Two friends are talking , "So what are you doing for summer vacation?"
The other one replies " I want to go to Italy again , like last year"---
"Wow you went to Italy last year?"-----------
" No, but I did want to go "
On vacation this summer my wife took an early morning walk on the beach while the kids and I ate breakfast.
When my wife got back she said there was a beached whale and we needed to see it. My son said "well it's not beached anymore, you're standing right there."
Worst son-burn ever.
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
A joke from Ukraine
The worker speaks with boss
Worker: "please can I have vacation time during summer"
Boss: "Do you like sweaty woman"
Worker: "no"
Boss: "do you like warm beer?"
Worker: "no"
Boss: "then you vacation in winter time"
God was heading out for his annual summer vacation when an angel stopped him...
"Where are you going this year?" the Angel asked.
"Well, definitely not Earth" God said. "I went there one year and got a girl pregnant. They haven't stopped talking about it since."
Since we're doing translations, here's one from Mexico:
On the first day back from summer vacation, the teacher asked the students what they did over the summer and if they got any nicknames.
Juan goes first: "I spent my summer working with my dad laying bricks!"
Teacher: "did you have a nickname?
Juan: "Yes, the brick mason's son"
Maria goes next: "I spent the summer baking bread with my dad and they called me the baker's daughter"
The teacher calls on Pepito, who seemed to be day dreaming in the corner.
Pepito: "Well, I spent my summer climbing on the roof and throwing rocks at whoever passed by."
Teacher: "Oh, I see. Did you have a nickname?
Pepito: "Yeah, it was 'GET DOWN HERE YOU SON OF A b**...!'"
After summer vacation classic
All the children inn school were asked to write on the chalkboard something significant that happened over the summer.
Anne gets up and writes the word puppies on the board, and says our dog had puppies this summer. Very nice says the teacher. George gets up and writes promotion on the board, acc says my dad got a promotion. Excellent! Very significant goes the teacher. Little Johnny gets up and puts a dot on the board. The treachery looks at out and says Johnny what's that dot why is it significant? He good it's not a dot, it's a period, I'm not sure why it's significant but my sister missed hers and my dad shot our neighbor and went to jail!
Give me two good reasons
Today, all schools reopened after a long summer vacation.
In one home in our neighbourhood, early this morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up, Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.
SON : Awww Mom! I don't want to go to school.
MOM : Give me two good reasons why you don't want to go to school??
SON : "One, all the children hate me.
Two, all the teachers hate me!!
MOM : Oh! that's not a reason darling. Come on, you have to go to school.
SON : OK. You give me two good reasons, WHY I should go to school?
MOM : One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old, and should understand your responsibilities!
Two You are the 'PRINCIPAL' of the school "😂
Two Guys, The Summer, And The Confessional
A young man goes to confession with his friend on the first day of summer. When he enters the confessional, he says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned... I have been with a woman of poor moral fiber."
Priest: "That's sad to hear young man... I must ask... was it Jenny Armstrong?"
Young Man: "I cannot say father."
Priest: "Was it Sarah Smith?"
Young Man: "I will not say, father."
Priest: "It must have been Michelle Geller."
Young Man: "Father, I will not say."
Priest: "I admire your conviction, but you must atone. Don't return to service for two weeks, or until you have said 4 Hail Mary's and 10 Our Fathers."
The young man leaves and sees his friend on the way out. "What did you get?' his friend asks. He replies, "two weeks of summer vacation and three good leads."
Even though telemarketers are slightly less beloved than dentists and tax auditors, that'
s the job my friend took during his summer vacation.
Halfway through one of his sales pitches, he heard a clicking at the other end of the line.
Thinking the man may have hung up, he asked, "Are you still there?"
"Yeah, still here," said the man.
"Sorry, I heard a click and I thought you'd been disconnected."
"No," the man said, "that would sound more like this."
He then proceeded to show me what it would sound like by slamming down the phone.