Summer Kids Jokes

What are some Summer Kids jokes?

Germany opens a summer school for kids with ADD

Its a concentration camp

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"

"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.

"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.

"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."

"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.

"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"

"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.

"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"

"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.

"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.

"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The damned dance is called the Twist!

I wanted to open up a summer camp for kids with learning disabilities

apparently people think calling it a concentration camp is wrong

During the summer, a kid started a yard work business....

...After several weeks his mother noticed he was becoming more and more depressed. She asked her son, "why are you so blue lately, your business is doing great"?
The son replied, "Mow money mow problems".

I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year.

To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride."
The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride."
The third child says, full of pride, "I read a book." "Which one?" asks the teacher.
"Winnie-the-Shit!"

My buddy Brian had a kid a few years ago. He comes to me this summer and he goes...

"Man, my son just flunked the third grade. I don't know how to tell him he will be held back a year."

I was like, "I guess you better tell him slowly so that he will get it."

What do you call a summer resort for helping kids with ADHD?

A concentration camp.

Did you hear about the German summer camp where they gave all the kids adderall?

It turned into a concentration camp

On vacation this summer my wife took an early morning walk on the beach while the kids and I ate breakfast.

When my wife got back she said there was a beached whale and we needed to see it. My son said "well it's not beached anymore, you're standing right there."

Worst son-burn ever.

College money...

There was a kid that went to college, and his Dad sent him enough money for the whole year, well the kid blew through that in the first half of the first semester.

He didn't want to just ask his Dad for more money because he knew he probably wouldn't give it to him.

So he calls his Dad and asks to send their dog, Old Blue with $1000, to the college and he will enroll him in a class that teaches dogs to talk.

The Father thinks that's neat so he sends the dog and the money, and after the end of the first semester, the kid has blown through all that money too.

So he calls his Dad again, and tells him that if he sends $2500 he will enroll Old Blue into a class to teach dogs to read. The Dad thinks this is real cool, so he sends him the money.

At the end of the year the kid knew he couldn't bring Old Blue home with him, because he could not talk nor read.

He called his Dad before summer break, and told him, I had to shoot Old Blue, the Father shocked, You had to shoot Old Blue? Yeah, well he was sitting there reading the Wall Street Journal like he always does, and he looks at me and says, Hey, is your Dad still seeing that red headed broad down the street? The Dad said, You have done the right thing son! You need anymore money?


Credit/Heard this from my Dad who says his preacher told him this one.

I want to start a summer program for kids with A.D.D.

I call it "Concentration Camp"

I have a great idea for a place for kids to go in the summer where they can meditate and relax

These Concentration Camps are going to be huge!

Where do Jewish kids go in the summer to learn to study better?

Concentration camp

Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"

A kid was sent to a French summer camp program that lasted three weeks.

It was called Vingt In the Sun

My wife said I was a neglectful father. So I told my kid I would take him to a summer camp.

Now I get a free ride back to Guatemala and my wife can take it up with Trump from now on.

Every spring, as soon as the snows thawed, a certain mountain woman would come down into town, have a baby and gather supplies for the summer.
After a few years of this, she looked despairingly at the doctor and said, "Doctor, I don't know how much more of this I can handle. We got us eight kids now and I just don't know how we can go on. I gotta do something about having all these babies or I'll just lose my mind!"
The doctor scratched his head and wondered how to gently instruct the woman on how to curb her ordeal and finally told her to pick up a ten-gallon bucket along with her supplies.
"And every night when you go to bed, I want both of your feet in that bucket and don't take them out until morning."
So the lady was off and all of her problems seemed to be solved.
That next spring, right on cue, she walked into the doctor's office and promptly delivered another child.
"Ma'am, I thought I told you to sleep each night with your feet in a ten-gallon bucket. What happened?"
"Well, you see doctor, the store was all out of ten-gallon buckets, so I just figured two five-gallon buckets would do the trick just the same"

Where you send a jewish kid that has focusing problems during summer?

Concentration camp

How to make Summer Kids jokes?

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