Following is our collection of funny Summer jokes. There are some summer parka jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these summer summer vacation puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The bartender is amazed: "You're not from around here"
The siamese on the left side:"No, we're french, every summer, we come to the UK, rent a car and start a road trip"
"So, you really seem to like the country?"
"Not that much, but once a year, my brother can drive".
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The damned dance is called the Twist!
Ol' Merl & Ethel were sitting on the porch, enjoying the summer breeze. Suddenly, Ethel reaches over and smacks poor ol' Merl right out of his chair. "What was that for?" he exclaims. "That's for being such a lousy lover all these years." Well, Merl gets back in his chair, sits quietly for a while, then reaches over and smacks Ethel right back. "And what was that for?" Ol' Merl drawls, "That's for knowing the difference."
I didn't learn a thing from her.
The pay wasn't great, but the tips were enormous!
Almost winter, winter, almost summer, and road construction.
He liked wearing scarves before it got cool.
Hot summer day and Mr. Penguin's car breaks down. Takes it to the body shop, and Joe Mechanic tells him to give him half an hour to look it over, and then come back.
To kill some time, Mr. Penguin goes to the local ice cream parlor. After finishing his tasty, frosty treat, he goes back to the body shop.
"Well," says the mechanic, "looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," says the penguin -- "It's just ice cream."
With summer getting sunnier a woman asks her husband:
"What do you think: should I go sunbathing in the nude in the backyard?"
The husband just shrugs and says:"Do as you like."
The woman replies: "What do you think the neighbors will say if they see me sunbathing like that?"
The husband replies:"They'll probably think I married you for the money."
Two girls were walking down the sidewalk on a hot summer day. They come upon this old lady sitting on steps in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice that she wasn`t wearing any panties. So they ask her if its cooler without wearing any panties.
She said, "I don't know if it's cooler but sure keeps the flies off the watermelon.
You can explore summer releaved reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean summer autumn dad jokes. There are also summer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
But he had a *great* Fall!
I asked my Canadian buddy "Did you have a good summer?"
He said "No! I was working that day."
Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall.
After the first week of sex education class, a young shapely teen stormed out of the room after the class was over. Encountering a female friend in the hall, the friend asked, "Lori, what in the world is the matter with you? You look as if you're about to kill someone." "I am !!!" Lori fumed. "You just wait until I catch up with that Dennis. All summer long, that clown had me convinced that 'foreplay' involved tossing a coin for position."
I just asked my black friend if he wanted to go on a cruise this summer. He said his ancestors made that same mistake and he's not falling for it.
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.
The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run for it to get to their clothes, when many members of their congregation came into view.
The Priest covered his privates with his hands and put on a burst of speed, but the Rabbi covered his face instead. "What are you doing?" the Priest asked. "I don't know about you," the Rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."
Banned camp.
An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.
That is heading to Florida. This has plans to travel somewhere, but he won't give me the details.
i have no idea where this is going
the first few days were the hardest.
apparently people think calling it a concentration camp is wrong
Its a concentration camp
They don't like going to camps.
A college grad decides to get a job at a hardware store for the summer. He shows up on his first day of work and his boss hands him a broom.
"Here, your first task is to sweep out all the aisles. After that, I'll show you where the rest of the cleaning supplies are."
The grad looks at the broom and says to his boss, "I don't think you understand, I'm a college graduate."
His boss replies, "Oh, no problem. I can show you how to use a broom."
He sees a man carrying a twelve-foot pole and asks, "Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?"
The man replies, "No, I'm German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"
What did one patch of moss say to the other when asked what he thought of the summer weather?
He said: "I'm lichen it so far!"
Now you're allowed to laugh, if you'd like.
...After several weeks his mother noticed he was becoming more and more depressed. She asked her son, "why are you so blue lately, your business is doing great"?
The son replied, "Mow money mow problems".
I would go under trees but they're a little shady.
Summer, they like it before it's cool
We call her Summer for short.
Well, they're going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.
At least he had a great fall.
It's my favorite day of the year!
My favourite day of the year.
The Steam summer sale
A concentration camp.
Not many of you know that my wife was bitten by a rattlesnake over the summer, while we were camping. After two days of horrible, writhing agony, the snake died.
Because the pride cometh before the fall
The Summer of 69
Paddy O'Furniture
Mid summer Night's cream
This summer, it will be my 15th time going there
3 months of no school shootings.
Concentration Camp
Oh, it's summer.
It comes before the fall.
I've never heard him complain
DES...
PA....
-nish Inquisition
"Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked.
"No," he responded. "I'm a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"
Rumor is going around that summer may fall on a weekend this year.
The pay wasn't that good, but the tips were HUGE
It didn't do so well, people kept telling me Concentration Camp was a bad name.
Mines looking like I have a great personality.
The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day.
Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day.
The handyman showed him the instructions on the can of paint. They read: For best results, put on two coats.
She asks: "Do I take summer clothes or winter clothes?"
He replies: "Take it all, go away."
But he had a horrible fall!
Seasoning
Is like being condemned to summer school while the rest of the students are off.
Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, ninni laaksonen, Cassandra searless, Mariah billado, Victoria Hughes, Bridget Sullivan, Tasha Dixon, and Samantha holvey.
By their seasoning.
To make up for his miserable summer.
Although I regret calling it a concentration camp.
The antibody.
There once was an ancient Greek philosopher that dedicated his life to hypothesize the perfect way to cool off on a hot summer day.
His name was Popsicles.
It's a hot summer day and as they pass by a pond, the rabbi suggest taking a bath to cool down a little.
The priest is hesitant at first, but since they're at a remote spot with noone around, he agrees.
Just as they have finished taking off their robes a group of ladies is jogging by. The priest hastily covers his crotch, while the rabbi hides his face behind his hands.
When the ladies have passed, the priest asks:
"Why didn't you cover your private parts?"
To which the rabbi replies:
"Well, MY congregation recognizes me by my face. "
to meet her daughter, who was returning from a summer abroad. The daughter gets off the plane hand-in-hand with a 7' tall Zulu warrior, with a bone through his hair and nose.
The mother yells at her "I said a *rich* doctor!"
Little Johnny was back from his summer break where he'd toured the Italian countryside.
The language teacher wanting to spur grey matter in the classroom asked the children to make a sentence with defence, defeat and detail.
After a few minutes of silence Little Johnny raised his hand and hesitantly spoke:
"Well... de horse jumped over de fence and de feet got tangled in de tail..."
No one, it happens Autumnatically.
Summer is forecasted to be on a weekend!
It was all Dunhill from there
A summer
(I thought of this, hope it's original)
Oh well. I guess they can't all be winters.
A tangent.
...but I suffered a Korea ending injury.
Usually it's on porpoise.
He said, "That's fine, don't come in to work today."
Tomorrow I'll tell him I had a horrible summer, too.
He's 18 and he got a job sandblasting for the summer to save for school. The manager was talking to him during safety orientation and said so sandblasting? That should be fun . He responded yeah it should be a blast He said he got a groan and an eye roll then told me off for being contagious.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the summer summer knock knock jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working summer summer time piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.