The Best 43 Suits Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Suits jokes. There are some suits trouser jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these suits outfit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Suits Jokes and Puns
Orange Jews
Three of my best friends and I are Jewish in a school with a total of probably 20 Jewish kids (so everyone know we are Jewish). This year for Halloween, the four of us are all going dressed in orange morph suits. If anyone asks what we are, we will simply respond with "orange juice."
How can you get four suits for under $2.00?
Buy a deck of cards.
I want to form a law practice specializing in sexual harassment suits against medical professionals...
I'll call it "Doctors Without Boundaries"
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me...
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me.
"Fancy buying me a drink?" She said,
"Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose."
"Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?"
"Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best."
"Okay," she giggled. "You can choose for me."
So I turned to the barman and said, "Diet coke, mate."
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.
The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run for it to get to their clothes, when many members of their congregation came into view.
The Priest covered his privates with his hands and put on a burst of speed, but the Rabbi covered his face instead. "What are you doing?" the Priest asked. "I don't know about you," the Rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."
I have to look up the word innuendo...
If you know what I mean ;)
Courtesy of Suits
Why do most people from Russia wear track suits?
Because they are Russin'
What do you call a group of 5 guys named Curtis that are all wearing matching suits?
A Curtis-y flush
What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits?
Speedos !
Why is Whitney Houston good at video games?
One of her strong suits is HAAND EEEEEEEYYYEEEE coordination.
Did you hear they're making a movie about Hillary Clinton's rise to political power?
It's gonna be called "The Devil Wears Pant Suits"
You can explore suits attire reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean suits pants dad jokes. There are also suits puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What is it with Russians and their track suits?
Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.
Why did Hitler prefer pajamas more than suits
Cause they are more kampfy
I've recently been experimenting with the furry lifestyle.
I think it really *suits* me.
Did you hear the story about skin-toned bathing suits?
It was fake nudes.
Never play poker with a banker.
They always have the best suits.
Mike Huckabee is interviewing donald trump...
Huckabee, asking the tough questions: "So we've seen you in your stylish golf clothes on the course, and your sharp bespoke suits when you are at work, but the American people want to know what the president really wears, boxers or briefs?"
trump: "Depends..."
Huckabee: "Depends on what, your mood, the situation, if Malania is around?"
trump: "No, just Depends."
I didn't know how to help our screaming baby. My wife stared at me and told me to remove the nappy.
I said, "But I think it suits me."
Maid: "No~! Sir... ahhhn... your wife will be furious!"
Master: "It's fine... she's not here"
Maid: "B-but!"
Master: "This dress suits me better doesn't it?"
Donald Trump is visiting Queen Elizabeth.
Mr Trump turns to Queen Elizabeth and says "I want to be a King."
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a kingdom."
Don says "What about a prince?"
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a principality."
Don says "A duke then?"
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a duchy."
Don asks "Well what can I be?"
Liz says "Well I think a country suits you well."
What are the only two suits criminals don't look decent in?
Birthday suits and lawsuits
Politicians should be required to dress like NASCAR drivers.
With patches all over their suits telling us who their sponsors are.
I just bought a coat that's waaaay too long! :D
It suits me right down to the ground! :D
As a defense attorney for ED malpractice suits, I had a terrific strategy. . .
but it didn't stand up in court.
I could see myself working at a tuxedo store...
It suits me.
I bought a defective pack of playing cards. It had only three suits and all the cards were jacks.
I'm still trying to get a refund from those heartless bastards.
A man walks into the tailors and asks to try on some of the suits
The salesman obliges and gives him some options. The customer, however, hates all the options and after an hour of trying them on, throws the suits down in disgust. These are all terrible! , he cries.
Exasperated, the salesman throws his hands in the air and says, Fine, suit yourself!
I played cards with a guy in one of those T-Rex suits...
He was a small arms dealer.
This travelling to different countries to watch Suits is getting real expensive!
Netflix US.
I made it into my school's honor band, and we had to try on suits to see which ones fit.
I went late in the order, and my suit didn't fit, so I had to change into a different suit. That one fit, so I went to the bathroom to change out of it. In between taking my dress pants off and putting my regular pants off there was a fire drill.
It really caught me with my pants down.
This actually happened to me.
A priest, a rabbi, and a whale walk into a restaurant...
The Priest says: "I'll have the pork, it always suits me well". The rabbi says: "That is forbidden for me! I'll have the beef, but no dairy". The whale says: ooooEEEEEEEEaaaayyyyyuuuuuuaaaaaa eeeeooOOOOYAIIIAIIIEYOOOooooooo
The prostitute said we could do it as long as we both wore surgical masks and persepex visors.
Suits me. They normally charge extra when I suggest that.
It said :"Only black ties" on the wedding invitation card.
But when I arrived, I saw people wearing suits too.
Two men in suits of armour enter a hotel...
And ask for a room for two knights.
A girl complimented me AFTER I took off my mask
She said the mask suits you
Doctor: describe your average night
Patient: they wear suits of armor
Doctor: no, i mean at bed time
Patient: they probably take it off
Donald Trump's lawsuits are like his regular suits,
They all hang on something useless.
Did you see the latest fashion trend is adhesive based dresses and suits?
From what I heard they're a bit tacky.
In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point."
We didn't have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today
I want to hire a Mexican, An Italian and a Russian
To show up at my funeral in black suits and say "thank you boss", then leave.
Just so that my Family and Friends would think I had something Big going on.
Relationships
They are like the suits in a pack of cards,
They start out all hearts and diamonds………..
…….but eventually you wish you had a club and a spade!
You know what's funny about bathing suits?
If a man swims in a bathing suit that only covers his private parts, he will almost always be swimming competitively. If a woman swims in a bathing suit that only covers her private parts, she will almost always be swimming casually.
Superman once went to a party.
Some people wore bitcoin suits, other dogecoin. Superman was upset, no one told him it was a crypto night.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the suits worn jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working suits suspenders piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.