Suits Jokes
57 suits jokes and hilarious suits puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about suits that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best in suits jokes presented in this article! We highlight funny jokes that draw on popular culture references relating to the show 'Suits' and all related attire, such as tuxedos, jumpsuits, and more. Enjoy a few good-natured, lighthearted laughs as you explore the very best in suits jokes.
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Funniest Suits Short Jokes
Short suits jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The suits humour may include short suit and tie jokes also.
- In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point." We didn't have those fancy hazmat suit you all wear today
- My daughter's skirt was getting a lot of attention as I walked her to the school gates, which made me very uncomfortable. To be honest, I thought it suited me.
- A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man. - Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
- A man walks into a tailor to buy a tuxedo. He confidently tells the tailor he doesn't need any assistance. The tailor says… ... "Fine. Suit yourself."
- Doctor: describe your average night Patient: they wear suits of armor
Doctor: no, i mean at bed time
Patient: they probably take it off - "What is your biggest weakness?" asked the interviewer. I said, "Spiders."
He said, "Professional ones?"
I said, "I don't know, I've never seen one in a suit before." - Superman once went to a party. Some people wore bitcoin suits, other dogecoin. Superman was upset, no one told him it was a crypto night.
- Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
- I was walking down the road and a man offered me a free sofa and chairs. I said no because my mother always told me not to accept suites from strangers.
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Suits One Liners
Which suits one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with suits? I can suggest the ones about suited and suit fitting.
- Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? The spanish Inquisition.
- What happens when Catwoman takes off her suit? The Dark Knight Rises!
- Vader has a pretty sweet suit. It must have cost at least an arm and a leg.
- To the guy in the wheelchair that stole my camo suit. You can hide but you cant run.
- I told my tailor I wouldn't be needing his services anymore He said "Fine, suit yourself"
- Apparently Iron Man also did a tuxedo range... But it wasn't his strong suit
- What did the tailor say to the fed up customer? Suit yourself.
- What did the Superhero wear to Court? His Class Action Suit
- What do you call dora the Explorer in an Iron Man suit? FeDora
I'll see myself out. - What do you call a snakeskin suit? A Hissy Fit
- A girl complimented me AFTER I took off my mask She said the mask suits you
- Donald Trump's lawsuits are like his regular suits, They all hang on something useless.
- What do you call a woman in an Iron Man suit? Fe-Male
- What is space like without a space suit? Breathtaking
- What do you call an african american in a 3 piece suit? The defendant.
Men Suits Jokes
Here is a list of funny men suits jokes and even better men suits puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two men in suits of armour enter a hotel... And ask for a room for two knights.
- I told my tallboy that men's clothes don't suit him. Now he's a cross dresser.
- I invented the perfect beach accessory for men! A clip-on-tip that attaches to the inside of your suit and peeks out just below the bottom of a guy's swim trunks.
We're calling it the Billadong.
Cheerful Fun Suits Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about suits you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean suit tie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make suits pranks.
Orange Jews
Three of my best friends and I are Jewish in a school with a total of probably 20 Jewish kids (so everyone know we are Jewish). This year for Halloween, the four of us are all going dressed in orange morph suits. If anyone asks what we are, we will simply respond with "orange juice."
How can you get four suits for under $2.00?
Buy a deck of cards.
I want to form a law practice specializing in s**... harassment suits against medical professionals...
I'll call it "Doctors Without Boundaries"
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me...
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me.
"Fancy buying me a drink?" She said,
"Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose."
"Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?"
"Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best."
"Okay," she giggled. "You can choose for me."
So I turned to the barman and said, "Diet coke, mate."
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.
The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run for it to get to their clothes, when many members of their congregation came into view.
The Priest covered his privates with his hands and put on a burst of speed, but the Rabbi covered his face instead. "What are you doing?" the Priest asked. "I don't know about you," the Rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."
I have to look up the word innuendo...
If you know what I mean ;)
Courtesy of Suits
Why do most people from Russia wear track suits?
Because they are Russin'
What do you call a group of 5 guys named Curtis that are all wearing matching suits?
A Curtis-y flush
What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits?
Speedos !
Why is whitney houston good at video games?
One of her strong suits is HAAND EEEEEEEYYYEEEE coordination.
What is it with Russians and their track suits?
Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.
Why did h**... prefer pajamas more than suits
Cause they are more kampfy
I've recently been experimenting with the furry lifestyle.
I think it really *suits* me.
Did you hear the story about skin-toned bathing suits?
It was fake n**....
Never play poker with a banker.
They always have the best suits.
Mike Huckabee is interviewing donald trump...
Huckabee, asking the tough questions: "So we've seen you in your stylish golf clothes on the course, and your sharp bespoke suits when you are at work, but the American people want to know what the president really wears, boxers or briefs?"
trump: "Depends..."
Huckabee: "Depends on what, your mood, the situation, if Malania is around?"
trump: "No, just Depends."
I didn't know how to help our screaming baby. My wife stared at me and told me to remove the n**....
I said, "But I think it suits me."
Maid: "No~! Sir... ahhhn... your wife will be furious!"
Master: "It's fine... she's not here"
Maid: "B-but!"
Master: "This dress suits me better doesn't it?"
Donald Trump is visiting Queen Elizabeth.
Mr Trump turns to Queen Elizabeth and says "I want to be a King."
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a kingdom."
Don says "What about a prince?"
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a principality."
Don says "A duke then?"
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a duchy."
Don asks "Well what can I be?"
Liz says "Well I think a country suits you well."
Politicians should be required to dress like nascar drivers.
With patches all over their suits telling us who their sponsors are.
I just bought a coat that's waaaay too long! :D
It suits me right down to the ground! :D
As a defense attorney for ED malpractice suits, I had a terrific strategy. . .
but it didn't stand up in court.
A man walks into the tailors and asks to try on some of the suits
The salesman obliges and gives him some options. The customer, however, hates all the options and after an hour of trying them on, throws the suits down in disgust. These are all terrible! , he cries.
Exasperated, the salesman throws his hands in the air and says, Fine, suit yourself!
I played cards with a guy in one of those T-Rex suits...
He was a small arms dealer.
This travelling to different countries to watch Suits is getting real expensive!
Netflix US.
I made it into my school's honor band, and we had to try on suits to see which ones fit.
I went late in the order, and my suit didn't fit, so I had to change into a different suit. That one fit, so I went to the bathroom to change out of it. In between taking my dress pants off and putting my regular pants off there was a fire drill.
It really caught me with my pants down.
This actually happened to me.
It said :"Only black ties" on the wedding invitation card.
But when I arrived, I saw people wearing suits too.
Did you see the latest fashion trend is adhesive based dresses and suits?
From what I heard they're a bit tacky.
I want to hire a Mexican, An Italian and a Russian
To show up at my f**... in black suits and say "thank you boss", then leave.
Just so that my Family and Friends would think I had something Big going on.
Relationships
They are like the suits in a pack of cards,
They start out all hearts and diamonds………..
…….but eventually you wish you had a club and a s**...!
You know what's funny about bathing suits?
If a man swims in a bathing suit that only covers his private parts, he will almost always be swimming competitively. If a woman swims in a bathing suit that only covers her private parts, she will almost always be swimming casually.
Amazon has come up with a new service where they deliver custom made suits within 48 hours.
It's called Tailor Swift.
An Australian was in London admiring suits displayed in a shop window...
To nobody in particular he said, "Ahh, there's the one I'd get!"
A split second later, a three foot tall cyclops ran up and punched him in the nuts.
