Suit Jokes

166 suit jokes and hilarious suit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about suit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get your laughs on with this expertly compiled list of suit jokes. From the birthday suit to a hazmat suit, a track suit to a shell suit, and a suede bracelet to a bad suit. Read on for a selection of the best suit jokes from an expert in the field.

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jokes about suit

Best Short Suit Jokes

Short suit puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The suit humour may include short fits jokes also.

  1. In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point." We didn't have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today
  2. My daughter's skirt was getting a lot of attention as I walked her to the school gates, which made me very uncomfortable. To be honest, I thought it suited me.
  3. A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
    Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.
  4. Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
  5. A man walks into a tailor to buy a tuxedo. He confidently tells the tailor he doesn't need any assistance. The tailor says… ... "Fine. Suit yourself."
  6. Doctor: describe your average night Patient: they wear suits of armor
    Doctor: no, i mean at bed time
    Patient: they probably take it off
  7. "What is your biggest weakness?" asked the interviewer. I said, "Spiders."
    He said, "Professional ones?"
    I said, "I don't know, I've never seen one in a suit before."
  8. Superman once went to a party. Some people wore bitcoin suits, other dogecoin. Superman was upset, no one told him it was a crypto night.
  9. Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
  10. I was walking down the road and a man offered me a free sofa and chairs. I said no because my mother always told me not to accept suites from strangers.
Suit joke, I was walking down the road and a man offered me a free <a href="/sofa-jokes.html" title="Sofa jokes

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about suit can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of suit puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Suit One Liners

Which suit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with suit? I can suggest the ones about vest and coat.

  1. Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice? The spanish Inquisition.
  2. What happens when Catwoman takes off her suit? The Dark Knight Rises!
  3. Vader has a pretty sweet suit. It must have cost at least an arm and a leg.
  4. To the guy in the wheelchair that stole my camo suit. You can hide but you cant run.
  5. I told my tailor I wouldn't be needing his services anymore He said "Fine, suit yourself"
  6. Apparently Iron Man also did a tuxedo range... But it wasn't his strong suit
  7. What did the tailor say to the fed up customer? Suit yourself.
  8. What did the Superhero wear to Court? His Class Action Suit
  9. What do you call dora the Explorer in an Iron Man suit? FeDora
    I'll see myself out.
  10. What do you call a snakeskin suit? A Hissy Fit
  11. A girl complimented me AFTER I took off my mask She said the mask suits you
  12. Donald Trump's lawsuits are like his regular suits, They all hang on something useless.
  13. What do you call a woman in an Iron Man suit? Fe-Male
  14. What is space like without a space suit? Breathtaking
  15. What do you call an african american in a 3 piece suit? The defendant.

Bathing Suit Jokes

Here is a list of funny bathing suit jokes and even better bathing suit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Customer: I'd like to try on that bathing suit in your front window. Saleswoman: I'm sorry, ma'am, but you'll have to use the dressing room.
  • You know why the 2 piece bathing suit was invented? To separate the dairy section from meat section...
  • Why did the dog feel insecure in her bathing suit? She was a little husky.
  • How many German Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to dress up in a gorilla suit and one to fill a bath tub full of vanilla pudding.
  • Yo mama so fat, when she wore her yellow bathing suit, the sun got jealous.
  • What is a two-piece bath suit with wild animals motive? Zoo-Chini
  • Yo momma's so fat, she wore a black bathing suit to the pool and everyone yelled "oil spill!"
  • How do you see how fast somebody streaked by in their bathing suit? With a speedo meter
  • Did you hear the story about skin-toned bathing suits? It was fake n**....
  • I actually find one piece bathing suit to be more s**.... Doesn't matter if you keep the top or the bottom.

Suit Fitting Jokes

Here is a list of funny suit fitting jokes and even better suit fitting puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yo momma so fat... She can't even fit into her Birthday Suit.
  • How many contractors does it take to replace a light globe? Two. One to buy the wrong size globe, and another to replace the existing light fitting to suit the new globe.
  • How do you fit a fat lady in a suit case? You take the 'F' out fat and the 'F' out of weigh.
  • How is a bad suit fitting like a bad Hotel? No ballroom

Suit Tie Jokes

Here is a list of funny suit tie jokes and even better suit tie puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Before our night out, my wife said that she didn't want me to get dressed up. No point arguing with her.
    So I slipped into my suit and tie while lying on the floor.
  • It said :"Only black ties" on the wedding invitation card. But when I arrived, I saw people wearing suits too.
  • Everyone was admiring me in the gym while I was working out. I think they liked my new suit and tie.
  • So there is a penguin, they had a suit and tie. Yet, no one said that they look fly.
  • Father: "What the heck are you wearing with your suit, son!" It's a tie, dad
  • Woman: "I'm a s**... for a man in a suit and tie." Man: "You had me at 'I'm a s**...'."

Birthday Suit Jokes

Here is a list of funny birthday suit jokes and even better birthday suit puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "Daddy, what's a birthday suit?" "That's the suit I wear for your mother's birthday."
  • What are the only two suits criminals don't look decent in? Birthday suits and lawsuits
Suit joke, What are the only two suits criminals don't look decent in?

Silly Suit Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about suit you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean wear jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make suit prank.

Trudeau has been re-elected as the minority government, thankfully

he has just the suit to wear

My friend had this really fancy business meeting...

He had this special outfit prepared, but he needed it to be properly fitted, to look nice. I offered to do it but he said he could do it himself
"Fine," I said...
"Suit yourself"

A minister and a lawyer at the pearly gates.

A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments.
"Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, (to the lawyer) the keys to our finest p**... suit."
"This is unfair!" cried the minister.
"Listen," Saint Peter said, "ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've seen."

The girl I met last week said she wanted a guy who was "funny and spontaneous"

I showed up at her kitchen window late at night wearing a clown suit and suddenly it's all panic and screaming...


Apple will be unveiling a larger iPad.
Proctor & Gamble is set to file suit over trademark infringements over Apple's new Max iPad.

A statistician and his wife are going I vacation.

As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.
"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"

How can you get four suits for under $2.00?

Buy a deck of cards.

A One Line Advertisement By A Married Man

For Sale: Wedding Suit, Worn Only Once By Mistake

A man out of work...

...sees an opening at the zoo. The head zookeeper says to him "Our ape just died and it's too expensive to replace him. Can you dress up in an ape suit and run around the ape pen? The man, desperate for a job, agrees. The next day, he does his thing as the ape, but while hopping from tree to tree, falls in the lion pen. The lion chases him around for a while, to thunderous applause from the crowd. The lion finally tackles the man and says "Do you want to get us both fired?"

What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog?

The man wears a full suit, the dog just pants

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.
**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.
1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted
4. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality
5. Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither
6. What did the drummer say to the band leader? "Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?"
7. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: One to screw it in, four to say that Neil Peart could've done it better
8. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So that they can use the handicapped parking space
9. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Give him the money for the pizza
10. What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer
Anyone got any more?

A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit.

He's wearing a paper hat, a paper shirt, vest, jacket and pants. He even had a paper holster for his six-shooter.
He wasn't in town 10 minutes before he was arrested for rustling.

Q: What do you call a trucker wearing a suit and tie?

A: the defendant
Source: I'm a trucker. (reformed)
For the young and/or foreign:
Defendant - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia‎
In a criminal trial, a defendant is any person accused (charged) of committing an offence (a crime), an act defined as punishable under criminal law.

An old woman is upset at her husband's f**... . . .

"You have him in a blue suit, and I wanted him in a brown suit," she cried.
The mortician says, "We'll take care of it ma'am," and yells to the back, "Ed, switch the heads on two and four!"

Miley Gets Classy

One day, Miley Cyrus had a business suit on and was carrying a briefcase.
When she walked outside, a man noticed what she was wearing.
"Wow, you're looking fancy. Where are you even going?" the man asked.
She responded "Twerk."

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

A man is driving his car when suddenly the door of a parked car is swung open in front of him.

He proceeds to smash into the door of the car, ripping it off. He stops to see another man, in a very expensive suit, jump out of the car and scream at him "you just ripped the door off my lovely Porsche!".
The first man says "You are so didn't even notice that you left arm was ripped off in the accident".
The second man looks down for a second, then screams "my Rolex!"

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark n**....

What is the difference between a hobo with a bike and a man in a suit with a tricycle?

a tire

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

An farmer walks in to a lawyer's office in Alabama...

And he says to the lawyer, "Sir, I'd like to get a divorce."
To which the lawyer says, "Well, do you have a suit?"
"Yes, I sure do", the man replies. "Wear it to church every Sunday."
"That's not what I mean. Do you have a case?"
"No, you see I've always been a John Deere man myself. Never had a Case in my life."
"Sir, do you have any issues with your wife. Did she cheat on you, is she a n**...?"
To which the farmer replies, "No, but the baby is. And that's why I want a divorce."

Mugger walks up behind a man in a suit and puts a gun to his back...

The mugger says, "Give me all your money."
The man in the suit says, "You can't do this to me! I'm a United States Congressman!"
The mugger replies, "Then give me all *my* money!"

What did Thor start calling Ironman after he learned the suit was made out of gold titanium alloy?

... To be fair Goldtitaniumalloyman just didn't have the same ring.

A famous armorer was called to court...

…to demonstrate his new plate design. He set it on a stand in the middle of a grand gallery. The king called in his executioner, a dour and muscular man who prided himself in his ability to slice folk exactly in half, to strike the suit. With a sonorous clang! the executioner's heavy sword bounced off of the chest piece. Frustrated, he pointed an accusatory finger at the armorer and cried This is why we can't halve nice things!

A Monkey passes away at a zoo, and they have no other Monkey's in the zoo

A desperate man is hired to dress in a Monkey Suit, after a few days he somehow falls into the lion pit. Suddenly he is yelling for help, the Lion approaches him and says, "Shut up or you're gonna get us both fired!"

Mark Ruffalo Went into a Job Interview

The interviewer asked "What's your strong suit?"
"Oh, you know, the Hulk costume."

What's the same about Christmas and work?

I do all the work and a fat man in a suit gets all the credit.

Did you hear about the latest Calvin Klein Lawsuit?

Yeah - but it wasn't much of a suit. It was actually a brief case.

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

A monkey at a zoo passes away, and no monkeys are left to replace it

A desperate man is hired to dress in a Monkey Suit, he is pretending to be a monkey, and after a few days he somehow falls into the lion pit. Suddenly he is yelling and screaming for help, the Lion approaches him and the man prepares for the end. The lion opens its mouth and says, "Shut up or you're gonna get us both fired!"

I wanted to be a tailor.

But I didn't suit the job.

They're watching...

I was in my bathroom earlier and I heard weird noises coming from the sink.
Then, I walked to the upstairs window and noticed a man dressed in an all black suit with black shades, suspiciously walking around outside in the car park.
Beginning to think that someone might be phoning my taps.

A joke to me by an old southern man.

I told my Wife to go to c**...'s and get me a seersucker suit.
She went to Sears......

A guy asks a girl to prom...

A guy asks a girl out to prom and she says yes. Excited, the guy goes to dress shop to get a tuxedo but there is a very long line. After buying the suit he goes to buy flowers for his partner. So he gets in another very long line in the flower shop. Finally after hours of waiting he goes to prom. After dancing for a while his partner asks him to get punch for her. When he gets there, their is no punch line.

I had an idea for a suit made entirely of banana skins...

but no one seemed to find it very appealing.

I had a dream about a horse in a suit of armor.

Pretty sure it was a knightmare.

What is iron man without his suit?

Stark n**....

I walked outside my house wearing my Saran Wrap suit,

my neighbor said "I always knew you were crazy, but now I can clearly see your nuts!"

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, when suddenly he hears someone say, "Hey, nice tie!"

The man looks up to try to find out who said it, but no one was around.
"Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up again, but there's nobody there.
"Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him.
The bartender replies, "It's not me; it's the complimentary peanuts."

President of South Korea Impeached.

Hopefully the USA will follow suit, and have their president deoranged.

I put on a full suit to check my grades

I wanted to look my best at my f**...


The following headline appeared in the daily newspaper and threw the city hall into an uproar: "Half the city council are crooks."
A retraction in full was demanded of the editor under the threat of a libel suit. Next afternoon, the headline read, "Half the city council aren't crooks."

Former president Clinton

Walks into a dry cleaner with a suit,
"I'm in a hurry can I get this by 3 today?"
The clerk, preoccupied, quickly looked up and asked "come again?"
"No, it was mustard this time."

Why is Christmas just like another day in the office?

Because you do all the hard work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

My mom says that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Her malpractice suit isn't going so well.

When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, smelling of honey and covered in bee stings

You know she's a keeper.

What do you call a man from Sydney in a suit in the middle of the desert?

A lostralian.

What do you call a magician wearing a rainbow colored suit?


Elevator confusion

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator together and it stops to let a man on. The man is wearing a business suit and has obvious dandruff flakes on both shoulders. He says hello and gets out on the next floor. The women continues to ride in awkward silence when the brunette speaks up. She says, "Someone needs to give that guy some head and shoulders."
The blonde looks confused and replies. "How do you give a guy shoulders?"

What if Iron Man put the face of Adam Savage onto the Hulkbuster suit?

That means it's now the Mythbuster.

An elderly gentleman walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is in his mid-80s, well-dressed, hair well-groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel and smelling slightly of an expensive after shave. He presents a very nice image.

Seated at the bar is a classy looking lady in her mid-70s.

The sharp old gentleman walks over and sits alongside her. He orders a drink and takes a sip.

He slowly turns to the lady and says: "So, tell me; do I come here often?"

I took my shoddy suit to the tailors, and said, "can this be repaired? It looks like the stitching's come undone."

"Hmmm, yes... ", he replied, examining the suit, "sew it's seams".

Batman: I must save this city

Alfred: Well you're a billionaire so maybe you can redistribu...
Batman: This bat suit is the only way

Potato in bathing suit joke

Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing! 
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.

I keep having this recurring dream about a horse wearing a suit of armor

Actually, it may be more of a knight mare.

What is Ironman underneath the suit?

Stark n**....

Lord Williams turns to his butler

Lord Williams turns to his butler: "Jones, please prepare my black suit and binoculars. I'm going to a f**...."
"But why do you need binoculars?" Asks Jones
"My distant relative has died." Says Lord Williams

In the bedroom, my girlfriend really likes it when I wear a suit.

She's got this k**... fantasy where I have a proper job.

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: Give me your money. The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!

The thief replies: Oh, sorry. Give me MY money.

In News Today, a fight was started downtown by a man wearing a suit completely made of mirrors.....

The police said the man apologised once he had time to sit down and reflect.

I was challenged to my first fight the other day. I picked out an outfit, showed up and got my a**... kicked.

It turned out not to be my strong suit.

Why is being a parent on Christmas Day like being at work?

You do all the work and some guy in a suit takes credit.

Suit joke, Why is being a parent on Christmas Day like being at work?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these suit jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.