Suicide Blonde Jokes
23 suicide blonde jokes and hilarious suicide blonde puns to laugh out loud. Read blonde jokes about suicide blonde that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Suicide Blonde Short Jokes
Short suicide blonde jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The suicide blonde humour may include short escaped blonde jokes also.
- A blonde got suicidal after hearing so many blonde jokes. Her family found a note where she threatened to "self-dye."
- How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit s**...? There are bullet holes in the mirror.
- Did you hear about the blonde who tried to commit s**...? She closed her garage door
and sat in her Tesla
while she left it running - How do you get a Blonde to commit s**...? You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
- Did you hear about the Blonde who tried to commit s**... in her garage by leaving her car on? She owned a Tesla
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Suicide Blonde One Liners
Which suicide blonde one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with suicide blonde? I can suggest the ones about hot blonde and breathing blonde.
- A blonde tried to commit s**... Police found six bullet holes in her mirror.
- She was what we called a s**... blonde'... Dyed by her own hand.
- A blonde and a brunette are watching a recording of a man about to commit s**....
Howlingly Hilarious Suicide Blonde Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about suicide blonde you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quick blonde jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make suicide blonde pranks.
A blonde was rushed to the hospital
A blonde was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound in her index finger.
Doctor: how did this happen?
Blonde: I tried to s**....
Doctor: you shot your finger for s**...?
Blonde: No, I shot in my ear. But just before pulling the trigger, I realized that there would be a loud bang, so I closed my other ear with my finger.
A Brazilian people killed.
One day a man is sitting next to a blond woman who is reading the newspaper.
She is visibly upset while reading a particular article. He can't help but look over and see what she's reading. He sees the headline
"s**... b**... kill two Brazilian men on bus".
He understands why she is upset now, so he strikes up a conversation with her.
She confesses "I have seen these before, but this is getting crazy. I mean, two Brazilian men killed? How many is in a Brazilian again?"
A blonde and brunette are living together.
The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why she had a rope tied around her waist. The blonde answered that she was trying to commit s**.... The brunette said, "You're supposed to put the rope around your neck." The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe!"
Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by?
The first one said, "
I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde."
Her friend said, "She's a s**... blonde."
The other said, "s**... blonde? What's that?"
The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
A story of two blondes
Two blondes were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said Betty.
"Bet you $10 he won't," replied Amber. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second blonde hands the first her money.
"I can't take your money," said Betty. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news."
"No, no. Take it," said Amber. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
Blonde attempts s**...
One day she comes home and says "Today is the day I will hang myself." She leaves behind a s**... note for her husband on the table which read "I'm sorry honey, I cannot go on any longer." The husband comes home and sees the note and runs outside in a panic. He sees his wife hanging from a tree. "Honey, what are you doing? Come down from there!" With which she replied "No! I'm hanging myself!" The husband says "Why is the rope around your waist? It's supposed to go around your neck!" To which she replies "I tried that! I couldn't breathe!"
A blonde walks out of a hospital.
She hails a taxi. The cab driver noticed she had her hand bandaged. Striking up a conversation he asks how she injured her hand. The blonde looks up sheepishly and says, "I tried to commit s**...."
The cab driver is taken aback but looks at his passenger in the rearview mirror. "I'm glad you are okay but pardon me for asking; how did that affect your hand?"
The blonde takes a deep breath and starts her story. "I took a gun and put it up to one of ears, but then I got worried that I'd be scared of the noise when I pulled the trigger. So I put my hand up to cover my other ear."
Train accident..
There was an accident at this train station and 20 people were dead or badly wounded after a train had hit them. Surprisingly all victims were blonde. However, there was one blonde who was intact.
A TV reporter asks the blonde, "It was a very unfortunate accident. What do you think was cause?"
Blonde replies with excitement and anger, "It happened because of wrong announcement at the station when the train arrived!"
TV Reporter is surprised, "Wrong announcement?"
Blonde says, "Yeah! The announcer said the train was coming on the platform no. 2. All these people waiting for the train on platform number 2 rushed off platform and came on the tracks."
TV Reporter is speechless, "Ummm... well... fortunately you stayed at the platform and now you are safe."
Blonde replies, "What fortunately? I came here to commit s**...!"
A blonde and a brunette are watching the news...
A blonde and a brunette are watching the news, and they are showing a woman standing on top of a building contemplating s**.... The brunette says, "I'll bet you fifty dollars, that woman jumps and kills herself." The blonde accepts the bet. After a while the woman jumps and dies. The blonde pays the brunette fifty dollars. After some time the brunette feels bad and says, "I cheated. I saw that story on the news two hours earlier. Here is the fifty dollars you gave me." The blonde says, "So did I, but I figured she would be smart enough to not jump this time."
A blonde and a brunette watching the news.
A blonde and a brunette were watching the 6pm news. There was a story of a man on top of a building attempting to commit s**.... The brunette bet the blonde that the man was going to the jump, the blonde didn't think he would. After the commercial break, they saw that the man jumped. The brunette admitted that she saw the 5pm news and already saw that he would jump. The blonde admitted that she also saw the 5pm news but didn't think that he would be s**... enough to jump again.
Gambling on the news
A man and a ***blonde*** woman are sitting next to each other at a bar. The news plays out on one of the TVs nearby. Both of them turn their attention to it when a story comes on about a man threatening to commit s**... by jumping off a bridge.
The man turns to the woman and says "I'll bet you five dollars that he jumps"
"He won't jump. You're on." She replies.
They continue to watch until eventually the man jumps.
The woman reaches for her purse to retrieve five dollars, but the man stops her.
"I can't take your money, I saw the same segment an hour earlier. I knew he was gonna jump."
"Oh, I saw it earlier too. But I didn't think he'd do it twice!"
Suicidal Blonde
A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit s**...," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit s**... by shooting off the tip of your finger?"
"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought 'I just paid $6000 for these, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"
"So, then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'"
"So, then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud noise,' so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
