The Best 57 Suicid Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Suicid jokes. There are some suicid sex jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these suicid virgins puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Suicid Jokes and Puns

The suicide bombing instructor

It's 2:00 PM at the suicide bomber's academy. The instructor walks into the classroom to address the students:

"Kids, I know you're just back from lunch, and I know you're feeling a bit tired. But please pay very close attention, cause I'm only going to show you this once..."

What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends?

Hang at home.

This Suicide Prevention message was brought to you in part by:

**Nike**

*"Just Do It"*

Suicid joke, This Suicide Prevention message was brought to you in part by:

suicide bombing class...

Welcome to Suicide Bombing Class 101. Listen carefully because i'm only going to say this once.

A suicide bomber is teaching some new recruits...

He said, "Watch this demonstration carefully. I'm only going to do this once."


What was the suicide bomber greeted by in the afterlife?

A group of 40 other suicide bombers.

What did the suicide bomber from the Rebel Alliance say before detonating?

ADMIRAL ACKBAR!

Suicid joke, What did the suicide bomber from the Rebel Alliance say before detonating?

What does a suicidal man say to a suicidal girl?

Hey, wanna hang?

Suicide bombers

They're a dying breed.

Suicide Hotline

Did you hear the government moved the suicide-hotline call center to the middle east to save money?

I called to talk to someone and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck.

I am suicide bomber AMA

Wow this blew up fast.

You can explore suicid cannibals reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean suicid doll dad jokes. There are also suicid puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why are suicide kits so hard to sell on Amazon?

They never have positive reviews.

A suicide bomber tripped outside a news kiosk

He's all over the front pages.

A suicide bomber goes to heaven to receive his 72 virgins...

But all he sees are other men just like himself.

Confused, he asks one of them where his virgins are.
The man replies, "Brother, we are all virgins."

What did one suicide bomber say to the other?

"Dude, I don't think it worked."

What do you do when your suicidal friend asks for a hi-five?

You leave him hanging....

Suicid joke, What do you do when your suicidal friend asks for a hi-five?

why would you be a suicide bomber...

And wait for the 72 virgins in heaven... When you could become a catholic preist and have them now!

Source: Jimmy Carr

Where do suicide bombers go after they die

All over the place

What did the suicide bomber instructor say to his class?

Now pay attention class, I'm only going to do this once.


Say what you want about suicide jumpers.

I think they used all of their potential.

What does a suicide bomber say when he's teaching class?

Pay attention! I'm only going to show this once.

Suicide gone wrong [CORNY]

-Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers.
-Seriously? And what happened?
-After the first two, I felt much better.

Doing a suicide attack is...

...a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I tried out for suicide club

I didn't make the cut

What did the suicide bomber instructor say...

I'm only going to show you this once.

A suicide bomber enters a mall, trigger in hand, threatening to blow up the building.

I swiftly chop off his hand, disarming him.

What is a suicide bombers worst fear?

Dying alone!

Suicide Bombing Instructor

What were the suicide bombing instructor's last words?

"Now I'm only going to show you this once!"

Where do suicide bombers go after work?

Everywhere!

Sometimes I wonder about suicide bombers...

What makes them *tick*?

I'm like a suicide vest.

If you do me right I'll explode on your chest.

What is a suicide bombers worst nightmare?

Pocket dials

What's a suicide bombers favorite place to go?

Everywhere.

Why is suicide illegal?

destruction of government property.

Why did the suicidal man get his pilot's license?

Because he didn't want to die alone.

Where do suicide bombers go after they die?

Everywhere

What do suicide bomb instructors always start their lesson with?

"Right lads, I'm only going to show you this once!"

They say suicide is never the answer...

But what if the question is, "what is the leading cause of death for men in the military?"

Suicide.

I rang a suicide helpline last night, buy a thicker rope wasn't what I was expecting to hear.

More suicide bombers...

= Less suicide bombers

What did the suicide bomb instructor say to his new students?

Pay attention because I am only going to do this once

Why did the suicidal guy cross the road?

To get to the other side.

A suicide bomber instructor addressing his class said.....

"Alright everyone, watch me closely because I'm only going to do this once"

Like a suicidal Humpty Dumpty,

I crack myself up

A suicide bomber instructor says to his trainees

Alright men, I'm only going to show you this once

What did the programmer's suicide note say?

Goodbye world

What's a suicide bombers greatest fear?

Dying alone

Where do suicide bombers go after their mission?

Everywhere.

What did the suicide bomb instructor say to his students?

"Right lads, I'm only going to show you this once!"

A suicide bombing instructor addresses a group of new recruits.

"All right lads pay attention cos I'm only gonna show you this once"

A suicide bomb instructor is training a class.

Ok!! Everybody! Pay very close attention now! I can only demonstrate this once!!!

A Suicidal person and a Homicidal person are roomed together in a psyche ward

The homicidal person says "we share a common interest"

What's suicide bombers' biggest fear?

Dying alone

Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly or...

Are they just given a quick crash course?

Suicide is never the answer

You gotta outlive your enemies...

I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold.

They left him hanging.

Why is suicide illegal in China?

Destruction of government property

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the suicid inflatable jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working suicid suicide blonde piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes