The Best 35 Suggestion Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Suggestion jokes. There are some suggestion tells jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these suggestion stutter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Suggestion Jokes and Puns
birthday
Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."
Why did the blonde have makeup on her forehead?
I told her to make up her mind.
*
The other day, a wizard offered to turn me into a cat.
The suggestion gave me pause.
Ethereal
A breakfast suggestion from Mike Tyson
I came up with this one during my haircut.
Barber: Sir, you are losing hair, your hair is thinning.
/*I sensed that im about to get some treatment suggestion*/
Me: So, are you planning for any discount on final bill?
She chuckled.
What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?
10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion
I got a new tag on my car
On the front of my car, there's a license plate that says "Dodge."
That's not the manufacturer, it's a suggestion.
A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.
His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded
"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"
It's the final day of the annual pirate convention, and the debate over the site of next years convention begins...
One pirate says, "how about ARRRbys!", many pirates nod in agreement.
Another pirate says, "how about ARRRkansas", even more pirates are pleased at that suggestion.
A third pirate says, "how about Boston!", a confused murmur spreads across the room, "stay with me here" says the pirate, "so we can pARRRk ARRRR cARRR in the hARRRRvard yARRRd!"
**Suggestion for you**
At a formal event, roll your tie up into a little bundle right below the knot. Then ask someone, "Which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?" After they guess, let it unravel and go "It's a tie!".
My Asian friend got his Jewish wife pregnant.
I guess "Cha Ching" wasn't an appropriate name suggestion
You can explore suggestion hypothesis reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean suggestion advice dad jokes. There are also suggestion puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it never lets you finish a sentence before making a suggestion
^might^be^a^repost...
"I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday"
Adam was talking to his friend at a bar. He said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying that she can have 60 minutes of great sex, anyway she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." So Adam decided to listen to his friend's advice. The next day at the bar, his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?" "Yes, I did," Adam replied. "Did she like it?" "Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead, and ran out the door, yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!"
A doctor at work
A doctor's at work and has to sign some papers. He reaches into his breast pocket to get a pen and, to his surprise, pulls out a rectal thermometer instead. "Some asshole's got my pen!", he exclaims.
*Edited on the suggestion of /u/cunt-hooks*
My girlfriend asked me what my favourite baby name is.
Apparently "Not Yet" isn't a suitable suggestion.
What gender is Google?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
I was at my divorce settlement yesterday, when I announced I would like to make a suggestion...
They agreed, so I told them, "She can have the car, the house, all the funds in our joint account and full custody of our children on one condition... I get to keep whatever I have in my pocket."
"It's a deal!" my wife said, with a smug look on her face.
"You obviously didn't check the lottery numbers last night, did you?"
Alcohol may intensify the effects of this medication
I never know if this is a warning or a suggestion
Is google male or female?
Female, because you can hardly Finnish a sentence before she has a suggestion
Why did the terrorist exploded himself in front of the suggestion box?
He wanted to give a piece of his mind.
Jokes about Google - give me your best!
e.g. Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
The darker the humour, the better...but whatever comes to mind, just drop it here!
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it won't let you end your sentence without giving a suggestion.
My wife and I broke up
Looking back it just seems silly. We broke up because of our dream vacations of all things.
I always dreamed of going on an Alaskan cruise, whereas she always dreamed of sleeping with my best friend.
In the spirit of compromise I surprised her by suggesting we try both.
The biggest surprise, though, was that we each enjoyed the other's suggestion more.
What was the only suggestion the orc had for the contractor who built his house?
Mordor
How do you know Google is a man?
It won't let you finish a sentence without offering a suggestion.
(Note: might be a repost or not but was stolen from the lunch table so is still a repost)
BJ for Sore Throat
"You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.
"You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My throat really hurts."
Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore throat I give my husband oral sex and the next day I feel great."
Bambi carefully considered this. The next day Barbie noticed that Bambi looked better.
"You look much better today. Did you take my suggestion?"
Bambi replied, "I sure did. It worked great. And your husband just couldn't believe that it was your idea!"
You know you've been in quarantine long enough when..
Your Siri maps suggestion says 8 seconds to the living room!
I am not very political but it seem to me that Trump's suggestion to drink Chlorox bleach...
is grounds for Imbleachment.
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Is google a man or a woman?
Woman because she doesn't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
Trump and his family are traveling in a plane.
Trump decides to drop a 100 dollar note from the plane. His wife asks what he is doing. His reply is I want to make an American happy
His wife replies back Why don't you drop ten 10 dollar notes and make ten Americans happy?
Their daughter gives a suggestion Why don't you drop hundred 1 dollar notes and make hundred Americans happy?
The pilot overhears their conversation and gives his own suggestion on the matter.
Why don't you three drop yourselves from the plane and make all Americans happy?
My boyfriend likes to keep the house freezing.
I hate it because I'm always cold, but he gave me a suggestion. He said to stand in the corner since it's usually 90 degrees over there.
How to attract women:
My friend keeps complaining that he can't attract women. I told him "Why don't you try a sexy look...like lowering your eyelids and biting your lip?"
My friend takes the advice and runs off. He comes back complaining "I TRIED YOUR SUGGESTION AND THE GIRLS KEPT RUNNING AWAY SCREAMING!"
"Hmmm... can you show me what you were doing?"
Friend bites his lip and squints his eyes.
"AH! I see the problem...next time try biting your LOWER lip..."
My brother named his kid Hayden, Cayden, Brayden, and Jayden. His wife is pregnant again and asked for a name suggestion. I didn't want to contribute to this terrible name scheme.
So I said Okayden
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
(This joke was my daughters suggestion)
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the suggestion proposition jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working suggestion hint piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.