Suggestion Jokes
49 suggestion jokes and hilarious suggestion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about suggestion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for ways to make your suggestion box more entertaining? Get some laughs while encouraging engagement with your coworkers with these suggestion jokes! From the straightforward to the more out there hypotheses, explore the humorous side of offering ideas.
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Funniest Suggestion Short Jokes
Short suggestion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The suggestion humour may include short suggested jokes also.
- Kyle Rittenhouse has a lot of people to thank for his acquittal. I suggest he start with the prosecution.
- Now that Facebook changed their name to Meta, FAANG is not longer a valid abbreviation of the biggest 5 tech companies. I'd like to suggest MANGA
- Justin Timberlake announces that he will be joining the war in Ukrain. Early reports suggest that he will be stationed somewhere along the Crimea river
- is google male or female? female: because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions
- What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.
- Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend. - My friend Jay recently had twin girls, and wanted to name them after him. So I suggested Kaye and Elle.
- Wife and I fight over the right way to hang the toilet paper. So our therapist suggested we try the other person's way for a week.
You know, roll reversal. - I went to the library today and asked where I could find books on greases, oils and lubricants. The librarian suggested I try the non-friction section.
- I took my kids to the aquarium. "If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!" I suggested to my son.
"Grow up," said the woman behind the ticket booth.
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Suggestion One Liners
Which suggestion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with suggestion? I can suggest the ones about advice and hint.
- I'm 45 and have the body of a 25 year old model! She's in my basement, any suggestions?
- "Let's procrastinate together," suggested my friend. I said, "Maybe some other time."
- My Jewish friend is going to open a coffee shop. Suggested he name it Hebrew.
- Why did the blonde have makeup on her forehead? I told her to make up her mind.
* - I went to a Chinese restaurant and there was a suggestion box, so I wrote 'Free Tibet.'
- I wouldn't suggest calling the tinnitus help hotline It just keeps ringing
- The other day, a wizard offered to turn me into a cat. The suggestion gave me pause.
- My Supervisor Suggested That I Need To Work On My People Skills But he's dead now.
- My dad suggested I register for a donor card He's a man after my own heart
- I asked my art teacher how to draw people. He suggested I work on my personality
- After extensive research FDA suggests smoking cures Ham
- Life is good you know. So I suggest you get one.
- I'm looking for a good hypnotist. I'm open to suggestions.
- My counselor suggested I take Sign language in school... She said it was pretty handy
- Ethereal A breakfast suggestion from Mike Tyson
Witty Suggestion Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about suggestion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean recommend jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make suggestion pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant !
Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms everytime we have s**....
Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the c**... broke?
Guy: No I'm sure it didn't.
Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. The tiger died.
Guy: That can't be right. Someone else must have shot the tiger.
Doctor: Exactly.
A man takes his wife to get tested
Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.
My wife is an economist and I am an engineer.
I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said in my best engineer voice, Hey sweetheart, why don't you utilize the load maximization principle and carry all the items you need in one trip, thereby minimizing total distance travelled?
Well don't you know, she loved my suggestion!
It used to take her 11 minutes to make her breakfast… now I do it in 5.
A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.
His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded
"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"
Every cook has a secret
The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.
He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.
Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.
Admiral: That's pretty unhygienic.
Cook: In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the doughnuts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is Google a woman?
I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions.
A Dachshund and a Labrador are walking together when the former suddenly unloads on his friend.
My life is a mess, he says. My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a Pomeranian and I'm as jittery as a cat.
Why don't you go see a psychiatrist? suggests the Labrador.
* I can't. I'm not allowed on the couch. *
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Studies suggest when it comes to dealing with stress, m**... is twice as effective as s**...
So one in the hand really is worth two in the bush.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend is visiting Germany this week. I suggested he might want to make it a permanent move.
There's fewer n**... over there.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife suggested that to spice things up in the bedroom, we should try the "other hole"
I said "no way", don't want her getting pregnant again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is Google a boy or girl?
Girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
A lawyer named Strange died.
His friends asked the tombstone inscriber to write "Here lies Strange, an honest man and a lawyer" on the headstone. The inscriber suggested this would confuse people, who would think three men were buried there. He suggested "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." "Whenever anyone walks by," he explained "they'll be certain to remark, 'That's Strange.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
BJ for Sore t**...
"You don't look so good today, Bambi," said Barbie.
"You're right," said Bambi. "I feel like I'm coming down with something. My t**... really hurts."
Barbie suggested, "You know, whenever I have a sore t**... I give my husband o**... s**... and the next day I feel great."
Bambi carefully considered this. The next day Barbie noticed that Bambi looked better.
"You look much better today. Did you take my suggestion?"
Bambi replied, "I sure did. It worked great. And your husband just couldn't believe that it was your idea!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A rabbi and a priest are out for a walk through the park.
It's a hot summer day and as they pass by a pond, the rabbi suggest taking a bath to cool down a little.
The priest is hesitant at first, but since they're at a remote spot with noone around, he agrees.
Just as they have finished taking off their robes a group of ladies is jogging by. The priest hastily covers his c**..., while the rabbi hides his face behind his hands.
When the ladies have passed, the priest asks:
"Why didn't you cover your private parts?"
To which the rabbi replies:
"Well, MY congregation recognizes me by my face. "
Trump and his family are traveling in a plane.
Trump decides to drop a 100 dollar note from the plane. His wife asks what he is doing. His reply is I want to make an American happy
His wife replies back Why don't you drop ten 10 dollar notes and make ten Americans happy?
Their daughter gives a suggestion Why don't you drop hundred 1 dollar notes and make hundred Americans happy?
The pilot overhears their conversation and gives his own suggestion on the matter.
Why don't you three drop yourselves from the plane and make all Americans happy?
A drunk is walking around downtown...
When he walks up to a cop to complain that his car has been stolen.
The cop asks, "Well, where was the last place you saw it?"
The drunk says, "It was right here at the end of this key."
The cop says, "Well, I suggest you go over to the station house and fill out a report."
The drunk starts to walk away when the cop says, "Hey, before you go, you might want to zip your fly."
The drunk looks down and says, "Aw, man, they got my girl, too."
My friends suggested I use tinder to meet some cute firemen or policemen
Once it started to burn, I met so many! I even met a reporter and some lawyers!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
**Suggestion for you**
At a formal event, roll your tie up into a little bundle right below the knot. Then ask someone, "Which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?" After they guess, let it unravel and go "It's a tie!".
A man goes to the doctor, he's visibly losing hair.
He says to the doctor, "I've spent months trying to grow my hair back, trying so many different treatments, but nothing has worked." The doctor says, "Well, it sounds a bit weird but, I suggest you rub the top of your head against your wife's private area once a night." The man does so, and a month later he walks into the doctor's office with a full head of hair. He notices that the doctor has grown a mustache and beard.
My friend got jury duty
So I drove him down to the courthouse. He came out 5 minutes later and said we could go. I said "How did you do that?" He said it was easy, just pretend to be super racist and they let you go. So I tried it myself a couple weeks later.
Apparently it doesn't work if you're the defendant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Woman greets mailman at her mailbox, invites him in, they make passionate love, then she makes him a lunch fit for a king and then hands him a $1 bill.
Flabbergasted mailman says: "My goodness that was outstanding, wonderful, thank you, I really appreciate it. May I ask why you did all this for me?"
Woman says: "I told my husband you were retiring and suggested we do something for you and he said "screw the mailman, give him a dollar", the lunch was my idea."
The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought
The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.
A wife's birthday was the next
day and she said to her husband, "Honey, for my birthday I want something that goes from 0-230 in 6 seconds to be in our driveway."
"I'll see what I can do" replied the husband suggestively.
The next morning she ran outside and found a scale in the driveway.
