The Best 60 Sugar Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sugar jokes. There are some sugar creamy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sugar sugar daddy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sugar Jokes and Puns

Tea?


An American, an Englishman and an Irishman were having breakfast together with their wives.

The American suddenly smiled and turned to his wife saying: "Would you please pass me the honey, Honey."

The Englishman, not to be outdone, turned to his wife and said: "Please pass me the sugar, Sugar."

The Irishman paused a while, then turned to his wife and said: "Pass me the tea, Bag."

3 paddys are out for dinner

English Paddy tells his wife "pass the sugar, sugar"

Scottish Paddy asks his wife "pass the honey, honey"

Irish Paddy says "pass me the milk

Cow."

The suave Englishman at the breakfast table asked his sweetheart "Please pass the sugar, sugar!"

The debonair Frenchman asked his girl "Please pass the honey, honey!"
The American redneck, not to be outdone, yelled "Pass the pork, pig!"

Sugar joke, The suave Englishman at the breakfast table asked his sweetheart "Please pass the sugar, sugar!"

What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)?

one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P

Breakfast Wife

(Overheard at work)

I was eating breakfast at a dinner with the old lady when the man at the next booth says to his wife, "Please pass the sugar, sugar".

A short time later at the booth on the opposite side of me, the man says to his wife, "Please pass the honey, honey".

Annoyed, my wife says to me "How come you never talk sweet to me like that?"
"Ok", I say, "Please pass the bacon, pig."


A nutritionist is giving a speech at a conference on eating healthy

Red meat is terrible for your metabolism, soda rips apart your gastric wall. Fast food is almost all fat and sugar but there's one food that is the worst of all. Almost all of us eat it sooner or later and the negative effects can last for years after a single consumption. Does anyone know what this is?
After a moment of silence an elderly specialist sitting in one of the front rows gets up and says "wedding cake"

Sugar

A blonde would wake up every morning, go into the kitchen, carefully open the lid of the sugar container, look into it and then close it.

This made her new boyfriend very curious. So one day he asked her why she did that. She replied, "My doctor asked me to check my sugar level every day."

Sugar joke, Sugar

Did you know sugar is the only word that begins with an 's' that makes a 'sh' sound?

I'm sure of it.

The Sperm is made up of Glucose........

MBBS Professor:

The Sperm is made up of Glucose, the same material Sugar is made of.

A Girl raised her hand:

"Then why doesn't it

taste like Sugar?"

Suddenly silence in hall.

Girl:Oops.

Then Professor's reply was also a Medical master piece:

My dear, Thats because, the taste buds are located on the tip of your Tongue and not at the end of your Throat

Killer .

TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound.

At least, I'm pretty sure...

FP

Today I was so bored that I put a bit of sugar right in front of an ant.

The ant spent some good minutes eating the sugar, as it left to call his other ant friends, I cleaned it up so they would think she's lying.

You can explore sugar milk reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sugar sweet dad jokes. There are also sugar puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Sugar is the only word in English language in which "Su" is pronounced as "Shu".

I am pretty sure about it.

I got arrested the other day after police found me covering a boy with melted sugar

I was charged with child molassation

Human-beings get rich as they grow old:

Silver in Hair;
Gold in Teeth;
Sugar in Blood;
Precious Stones in Kidney;
And a never ending supply of Gas!

What is the gender-neutral term for "sugar daddy?"

Glucose guardian.

If life gives you lemons...

I hope ~~he~~ life also gives you water and sugar or else your lemonade's gonna suck.

Sugar joke, If life gives you lemons...

Recently, a group of scientists discovered...

a subclass of ant has a genetic mutation that makes them grow larger than average, DESPITE missing a jointed segment on their legs. This same mutation also causes them to have an aversion to dairy-based foods, even with their high based sugar content.

TL;DR lack-toes-in-taller-ants

How to make Emo Cupcakes

What You'll need:

Cupcake Tray

An oven

Milk

Butter

Eggs

Flour

Sugar

We're

Going

Down

Swingin'

What's white and ruins lives around the world?

Sugar.

You racist bastards.


A man is meeting with his boss and his boss's boss for brunch.

All three of their wives are joining them to eat. Among the conversation, the man's boss's boss asks his wife to pass him the sugar.
"Pass the sugar, sugar."
Then his boss looks at his wife to pass him the honey.
"Pass the honey, honey." He says.
The man thinks he should match his boss's and boss's boss's humor.
He looks to his wife and says, "Pass the tea, bag."

True story: when I was a kid I used to mix up lyrics. For example, after watching Mary Poppins, I sang "a spoonful of medicine helps the sugar go down." -My dad thought is was SO funny I mixed that line up.

Little did either of us know, I was predicting my future diabetes problems.

American man to wife: "pass the honey... Honey"

Welsh man to wife: "pass the sugar... Sugar"

Scottish man to wife: "pass the milk... ya cow"

Glucose walks into a bar...

Bartender says "what can i get for you sugar?"

I have a new recipe that's gluten free, sugar free, no-fat, non-GMO, pesticide free, low-calorie, vegan, kosher and paleo-friendly.

It's a real breath of fresh air.

TIL "Sugar" is the only "su"-word in the english language that makes the "sh"-sound!

(I haven't actually fact-checked this one, but I'm pretty sure it's correct)

What do you call a sugar daddy with HIV?

Financial AIDS

I want to treat the roads with sugar instead of salt

This way, you know... Everyone can have a sweet ride

Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty.

Me: Can I eat sugar instead?

Doctor: No fatty, don't eat anything.

A mommy mole, daddy mole, and baby mole are together in their burrow

Mommy mole sticks her head out and sniffs the air. She asks, "What's that smell? Is it brown sugar?"

Daddy mole sticks his head out to sniff around, "No I don't think so. Smells like vanilla to me."

The baby mole still in the burrow says "I don't know what you guys are talking about. All I can smell is molasses!"

A pig goes to the doctors with swine flu.

The doctor gives him a leaflet for a therapeutic spa and tells him to go straight there.

When he gets there he's instructed to lay in a shallow bath of salt and sugar.

He chuckles to himself and thinks, "what's this supposed to do, cure me!"

I hope they serve cookies at the Royal Wedding this weekend

Just to show how a touch of brown sugar makes a ginger snap.

What do vampire hummingbirds eat?

Your blood sugar!

My wife won't laugh at this :(

There was a family of moles underground.

They were just relaxing down there when the father mole pokes his head out the hole and says wow, I smell sugar . The mother mole is interested so she pokes her head out the hole and exclaims wow I smell glucose! Then the mother mole calls her son over and he says holy cow I smell fructose! The sister mole wants to catch a whiff of the smell and climbs to the hole. Sadly the hole is clogged by her family and she said all I smell is molasses

What do you get when you eat unsalted butter, all-purpose flour, baking powder, sugar, raw eggs, vanilla extract and whole milk?

A stomach cake!

A man who pretends to be rich in order to attract pretty, young women is not a "Sugar Daddy".

He's an artificial sweetner.

Sugar is a gateway drug

It gets you addicted to coke

If you do these things every day for 30 days straight you will be unrecognizable

1. Sleep 8+ hours everyday.

2. Drink four 8oz glasses of water minimum daily.

3. Get outside in the sun everyday.

4. No sugar.

5. Read for 30 mins each day.

6. Workout for 1hr 3 times a week

7. Capture someone, cut their face off then sew it onto your face.

8. Meditate for 10 mins everyday.

The head cook was also a proud linguist. He boasted to his team that he'd finally figured out that champagne and sugar are the only words that sound like "sh" without starting with "sh".

The assistant hesitated for a moment then replied-
.
.
.
"Chef! Are you sure?"

My boss at the cereal factory pulled me into his office...

I like your recipes son, but I think we should make some changes.

Ok , I said, Like What?

Well, first I'd like to dip it in sucrose. Then, I'd like to dust it with dextrose -

Stop right there , I said. No need to sugar coat it.

Three generations were having brunch together

The grandson looks over at his newlywed wife and asks her, "Will you pass the honey, honey?" She giggles and passes the honey.
The father, not to be outdone, looks over to his wife and asks, "Will you pass the sugar, sugar?" She laughs, "You old charmer," and passes the sugar.
The Grandfather looks up, makes eye contact with his wife of 55 years and asks, "Will you pass the tea... bag?"

My next door neighbour knocked my door last night, wearing lingerie and stockings. Asked to borrow a cup of sugar and if I wanted to come over for a night cap

I said, 'Fuck off Dave, I've got work in the bloody morning' .

What do you call a sugar daddy with no money?

A splenda daddy.

What do rappers like to add to their coffee?

Two pack sugar.

I was woken late last night about 3am

By my next door neighbor in a very revealing negligee, bra, thongs and high heel boots, and asking to borrow a cup of sugar.

I said, 'fuck off dave, I've got work in the morning'.

A 70 year old guy goes to see his doctor

He tells the doctor he got himself a 22 year old sugar baby and is having sex 3 times a week.

The doctor asks if he has any aching joints or pain, and the guy tells him no.

The doctor then asks if he thinks he has an STD, or has had any itching, and the guy says no, and goes on to say how happy he is.

The doctor finally says, "If everything with you is fine, then why are you telling me about having so much sex?"

The guy says, "Telling you? I'm telling everybody!"

Her: What are those things you blow to make a wish?

Me: Sugar daddies?

Roses are red

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Sugar is sweet

And so are you.

The roses have wilted

The violets are dead

The sugar bowl's empty

And so is your head.

I really like cooking fruit with sugar.

I know many people disagree with me. But that's my jam!

I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.

I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone.

It was then that my worst fears were realized, that I was trapped on a dessert Island.

An angry customers walks back in a donut shop.

He says to the worker:


"Why isn't my donut glazed?!


The worker respond:


"Look sir, i'm not going to sugar coat it."

Jokes about white sugar are rare enough, but jokes about brown sugar?

Demerara

After 65 years of marriage, my grandpa still calls grandma "honey", "sweetie", "baby", and "sugar". I asked him for the secret to keep love alive so long.

He said "i forgot her name 10 years ago, and I'm afraid to ask."

Mayonnaise

In 1912, the Titanic sank and everyone still talks about it to this day.

But only weeks after the incident, another ship fell victim to the harsh ocean. This was a large cargo ship that contains various products that were supposed to be delivered to Mexico, among them were sugar, coffee beans, but the bulk of the shipment comprised of mayonnaise. You see, Mexicans love mayonnaise. That's why when it happened on a sad day in May 5th, the whole mexican wept for the fallen sailors and the delicious products they were supposed to enjoy.

Since then, the day of mourning came to be: >!Sinko De Mayo!<

A couple are on a date in a romantic restaurant...

A couple are on a date in a romantic restaurant. As their order arrives, the wife looks around and notices every table has a couple having a romantic candlelight dinner date.

The man on the table to her right says to his date, "pass me the sugar, my sweet Sugar"

The man on the table to her left says to his date, "pass me the honey, my sweet Honey"

She asks her husband, "Look at all these men, why aren't you romantic with me like this?"

The husband looks her deeply into her eyes and says with his most romantic voice,

"Pass me the pork, my fat pig"

Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . .

At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.

Where did Harry Styles go to school?

Watermelon Sugar High

An Englishman, a Welshman, and an Irishman take their wives to breakfast

Tea is served
Trying to be cute the English man says to his wife
Would you like some sugar, sugar?

The Welshman trying to follow suit says to his wife
Would you like some honey, honey?

The Irishman refusing to be outdone says to his wife:
Would you like some milk, you fat fecking cow?

What's the difference between powdered sugar and cocain?

Exaclty, said Rasputin.

A man in Russia is asked by his wife to go get some sugar.

So he goes and he waits all day in a line. When he finally gets to the front of it, they tell him they're out. And he starts yelling. "This war is stupid! This is like being back in the bad old days, living under communism again!"

At once a policeman approaches him and says "Friend, be silent. You know, back in the bad old days, if you said such a thing aloud, well... you would have been shot. Just be glad things are different now."

So the man went home and his wife said "Were they out of sugar?"

And he said, "Yes! And also bullets!"

In the english words, only in Sugar the S sounds like 'Sh'.

But I am not Sure about that one.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sugar cubes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sugar spoonful piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes