Suffering Jokes
118 suffering jokes and hilarious suffering puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about suffering that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you find yourself struggling to cope with suffering? This article covers the topic of Christian suffering through a unique lens - humor. Learn how to use jokes to cope with grief, and how to find joy even in the midst of trauma. Discover helpful advice and unique perspectives on how to cope with suffering, and how to find joy in life.
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Funniest Suffering Short Jokes
Short suffering jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The suffering humour may include short suffered severe jokes also.
- A fortune teller told me that, in 12 years time, I'd suffer terrible heartbreak. So, to cheer myself up, I bought a puppy.
- What's the best Chuck Norris joke you've ever heard? My personal favorite is: chuck norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died
- A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him - How long have you suffered from that condition?
The guy tells him - Since next Monday. - My mum suffers with short term memory loss Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
- 1 out of 5 people suffer from loneliness. So, if you look around and you don't see the other 4 people, they're out having fun without you.
- My pet snake just lays around and won't move I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction
- Today, I played God. I saw a bug, suffering. I watched it for a couple of minutes. Then I kept watching, and watching, and watching...
- Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring
- I told my wife she had to buy me a fathers day present. I mean, why should I suffer just because she had a miscarrage?
- I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up I now suffer from anxiety and depression
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Suffering One Liners
Which suffering one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with suffering? I can suggest the ones about agony and sorrows.
- Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means one person enjoys it
- Do you suffer from anxiety that an intruder may be hiding in your room? You're not alone.
- I'm addicted to having money in the bank. And I really do suffer from withdrawals.
- To everyone suffering from paranoia, let me just tell you: You are not alone.
- Do you suffer from schizophrenia? Just remember you're not alone
- I used to have a student who suffered from suicidal thoughts but now I don't.
- Why is the Dalai Lama suffering from a gambling addiction? Because he loves Tibet.
- I registered to a website for constipation sufferers. It won't let me logout.
- If you suffer from short term memory loss If you suffer from short term memory loss
- I've suffered from identity crisis since I was a little boy. I mean girl.
- My doctor asked if I suffer from insanity. I replied: No, I enjoy every minute of it.
- My doctor told me that I suffer from paranoia. I think someone paid him to say it.
- What type of chips suffer from allergies? Nachoos
- What does a person obsessed with IKEA suffer from? Stock-home Syndrome
- Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals.
Christian Suffering Jokes
Here is a list of funny christian suffering jokes and even better christian suffering puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Since Christians believe that God is The Father, The Son and The holy spirit Clearly states that Jesus Christ suffered from Tripolar Disorder.
- I drink Coffee for the Same reason im a Christian.. I like to know someone else suffered in my place.
Howlingly Hilarious Suffering Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about suffering you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sickness jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make suffering pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three nurses died and went to heaven, where they were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter.
To the first, he asked, "What did you do on Earth and why should you go to heaven?"
"I was a nurse in an inner city hospital," she replied. "I worked to bring healing and peace to the poor suffering city children."
"Very noble," said St. Peter. "You may enter."
And in through the gates she went.
To the next, he asked the same question: "So what did you do on Earth?"
"I was a nurse at a m**... hospital in Africa," she replied. "For many years, I worked with a skeleton crew of doctors and nurses who tried to reach out to as many peoples and tribes with a hand of healing and with a message of God's love."
"How touching," said St. Peter. "You too may enter." And in she went.
He then came to the last nurse, to whom he asked, "So, what did you do back on Earth?"
After some hesitation, she explained, "I was just a nurse at an HMO."
St. Peter pondered this for a moment, and then said, "Okay, you may enter also."
"Whew!" said the nurse. "For a moment there, I thought you weren't going to let me in."
"Oh, you can come in," said St. Peter, "but you can only stay for three days..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of s**... assault
After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been f**... them for decades.
Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this a**.... Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman stopped me in the street today and told me a joke.
After hearing it, I thought it had all the ingredients of a great joke: child a**...; incestual r**..., tears, poverty and suffering; but I didn't understand the punchline.
Something about $10 a month...
Mahatma Gandhi...
...walked barefoot a lot, which probably produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. I've heard he also ate very little, which could have made him rather frail. The odd diet he kept leads me to believe he suffered from bad breath. I suppose you could have called him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day
Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last day for your taxes
A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's t**... and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's t**..., the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jim and his s**... life...
A man named Jim has been married to his beautiful wife for 15 years. They have two wonderful kids, a dog and a nice home.
You see, Jim works really hard at his job, but lately his s**... life has suffered because of it.
Jim goes to his doctor to ask why he is so tired all the time.
Jim says to his doc "you know, I work 16 hour days and when I come home I just have no time to be intimate with my wife. I have no energy! What do I do!"
His doctor replies "Okay Jim I can see you're a little bit overweight so maybe you need some exercise to increase that stamina. Every day for 30 days I want you to walk a mile. I'll phone you after 30 days"
So Jim starts walking that day. He walks one mile every day, hoping this will help.
On the 30th day his doctor phones.
Doc: "Jim! Did you do what I told you?"
Jim: "Yeah I did doc."
Doc: "Well how's your s**... life? Did it improve?"
Jim: "I wouldn't know. I'm 30 miles from home!"
Told to me by my grandmother
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit s**... yesterday....
But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, f**... it, soldier on!
I don't understand people wearing leather or fur...
Don't they realize that animals are suffering because of their sense of fashion? They should put themselves into the animals' skin and try to understand.
Let's make it Aussie joke day.
A man on vacation in Queensland suffers a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. On waking, he weakly asks the nurse, "Was I brought here to die?" The nurse replies, "No, they brought you in yesterday."
Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering...
Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.
So a college teacher is talking to his male students...
"Access to the women's dorms is strictly prohibited. If someone is caught there for the first time, they will suffer a fine of 100 dollars. The second offence will involve a 300 dollar fine. Getting caught there for the third time will cost you a hefty fine of 500 dollars."
Suddenly, a student in the back raises his hand and asks:
"How much for a semester pass?"
"My relationship with golf is starting to suffer"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah.. We're going through a rough patch"
Doctors say they found a food that causes years of pain and suffering after its eaten...
It's called wedding cake
So far, more Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola.
And the Ebola victims suffered less.
Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack
mainly because their hearts are already broken
My favorite psychiatrist joke
A man gets mugged on the street and is lying on the ground, suffering from his wounds. A psychiatrist happens to walk by and sees the man and says, "Whoever did this to you needs some serious help!"
Yesterday I was playing football for the first time in a year after suffering from a serious illness.
"You've still got it!" said somebody in the crowd.
Unfortunately it was the doctor with my latest test results.
My grandfather's favorite joke.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]
The doctors say I suffer from insanity, but they have it all wrong.
I enjoy every minute of it.
A man suffers from Blepharospasm (constant, uncontrollable winking) in one eye...
he complains to a friend that it gives him the most awful head aches. His friend asks, why don't you just get some aspirin from the pharmacy. He replies, I do, but every time I ask the pharmacist for an aspirin he gives me a packet of condoms.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I read that 1 in 5 women suffer from mental illness
so I guess that means the other 4 must enjoy it.
I've just taken my sausages back to the butchers...
There was only a tiny bit of pork in the middle, the left and right sides were just pure breadcrumbs.
The butcher apologised and said that he was suffering financially, business was tough and he was finding it increasingly difficult to make ends meat.
I suffer from tinnitus and my least favorite letter in the alphabet is...
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I'm speechless
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
I think my wife is suffering from Bulimic Amnesia
She keeps eating and eating and eating, and then forgetting to throw up
I used to suffer from delusions that I was a bland, flavourless cut of meat...
but now I'm cured.
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
A young woman had been taking golf lessons all week long.
She'd just begun her first game of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense, she couldn't continue her game. She decided to go back to the clubhouse and get some medical attention.
Her golf Pro saw her enter the clubhouse and asked,
"Why are you back so soon?" What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee," she answered.
"Where?," he asked.
"Between the first and second holes," she replied.
He nodded his head knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
A woman was trying on her new fur coat.
Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.
"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"
The woman looked strictly at her daughter.
"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college teacher said this about the finals tomorrow.
She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car c**..., or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete s**... exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the teacher said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In school, we had an assembly on bullying
The teacher spoke about a young gay boy, being bullied because of his sexuality. She spoke in length about his life, and the verbal a**... he suffers. She then asked a question, 'How do you think he takes it?' Apparently, 'Up the a**...!' wasn't a suitable answer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't make fun of Kim Jong Un just because of his condition.
It's not his fault he suffers from projectile dysfunction.
During a custody battle...
A mother and father are sitting with a judge during a custody battle
Mom: Sir, I went through hours of pain and suffering to bring my daughter into this world. I should have full custody.
Judge: Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Father: When you put money into a vending machine and a Coke comes out, who does the coke belong to. You or the vending machine?
It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers...
I mean, the definition of arthritis is "inflammation of the joints"
Did I ever tell you the joke about the guy suffering from dementia?
Did I ever tell you the joke about the guy suffering from dementia?
Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse.
It truly is a site for sore eyes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard the 3 out of 5 people suffer from cancer
The other 2 must be enjoying it!
My friend Gav recently passed away after suffering from heartburn
I can't believe Gaviscon
Sadly, my best friend passed away yesterday, so I went to see his wife today...
I said to her, "Look on the bright side, at least he's not suffering anymore."
She replied, "But he wasn't ill, he died suddenly."
I said, "I know, I meant, being married to you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To all the people who stand up as soon as the plane has landed...
You must suffer from p**... evacuation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Now that w**... is legal in California, I don't need my Xanax prescription anymore.
I was always suffering from chronic anxiety I was about to be arrested for i**... possession.
I heard a report!
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently, 9 out of 10 people there suffered from diarrhea. I can't stop thinking about that tenth person who apparently enjoyed it.
Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.
Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it??
If you could have Bill Gates' wealth or cure all the suffering in Africa...
What colour Ferrari would you get?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.
Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
[A LITTLE SPICY] Why is Communism better than Fascism?
In Fascism, minorities suffer and are discriminated, while in Communism, everyone suffers!
If 4 out of 5 people suffer with depression in their lifetime
Does that mean one actually enjoys it?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was at the f**... of my friend Steve and started talking to his widow.
Me: "I'm sorry for your loss, at least he's not suffering anymore."
Her: "He was shot. The doctor said he died instantly."
Me: "I mean he doesn't have to deal with you now"
In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."
BREAKING NEWS: Ghislaine Maxwell, former on again / off again partner of Epstein, has been arrested by the FBI.
In other news, Prince Andrew has just suffered a heart attack, Bill Clinton has suddenly developed Alzheimer's, and all prison guards at Maxwell's detention centre have suddenly had to take long naps...
Did you hear that they make a webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain?
It's a site for sore eyes.
Scientists have determined that 39% of couples, suffer pain after eating this one food.
Wedding Cake.
Put-the-fork-down and walk away...
My grandfather always said: "If you hit something with the car, you should release it from its suffering"
Still, I felt sorry for the cyclist
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A college professor reminds her class of the next day's final exam saying, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever"
A guy sitting at the back asks, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?"
The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
My wife suffers from a drinking problem.
Oh is she an alcoholic?
No, I am, but she's the one who suffers.
A prisoner slipped on the stairs 5 years into his 14 year sentence.
He suffered some minor injuries but he decided to pretend to be in a coma for rest of his sentence.
When he finally decided to drop the act on the last day of his sentence, the warden arrested him again, because you aren't supposed to end a sentence with a coma.
Why did the wizards show up to battle empty handed?
Their weapons were at a staff meeting.
Yes, yes. Groan, downvote, and move on. It popped into my head and I shouldn't have to suffer alone.
His holiness the Dalai Lama
Sent an email to Xi Jinping.
Xi Jinping opened the email and clicked on the attachment.
It was malware and the Party's computer system crashed.
Xi Jinping got on the phone and angrily demanded an answer from His Holiness.
"With attachment, comes suffering", said the Dalai Lama
My next door neighbor is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer's
Every morning at 9 AM he knocks on my door and asks me if I've seen his wife.
Which means every morning at 9 AM I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer's that his wife has been dead for several years.
I could move. I could just not answer the door. But it's worth it to me to answer that door every morning at 9 AM and tell this 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer's that his wife is dead just to see the smile on his face.
A Russian joke my grandmother once told me. I hope it works in English.
A man sits at the deathbed of his mother-in-law.
She suffers very much and cries in agony:
"Oh I'm dying!" "It hurts" "I'm gonna die soon"
She stops for a seconds and says:
"Well at least the weather is nice today"
The man says: "hey dear, don't get distracted!"
An Oxygen molecule go sees a doctor
"Doc, Im suffering from terrible cramps" says the Oxygen Molecule.
"That's an easy fix," says the doctor, "Just eat some Potassium and you'll be OK!"
