Suffered Severe Jokes
21 suffered severe jokes and hilarious suffered severe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about suffered severe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Suffered Severe Short Jokes
Short suffered severe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The suffered severe humour may include short suffered jokes also.
- Doctor: I'm afraid that it was a severe allergy that led to you suffering an anaphylactic shock. Patient: Enough medical mumbo-jumbo doc. Just give it to me in a nutshell.
- I went to see a doctor. I said, "My girlfriend says I'm suffering from severe paranoia."
"What do you want me to do?" he asked.
I said, "Stop having s**... with her." - Did you hear about that guy who committed s**... in a crater He was suffering from severe depression.
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Suffered Severe One Liners
Which suffered severe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with suffered severe? I can suggest the ones about severe and struggled.
- I almost had a heart attack at the circus I was suffering severe jest pains
- A man walks into a bar he suffers a severe head injury.
Howlingly Hilarious Suffered Severe Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about suffered severe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean devastated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make suffered severe pranks.
My next door neighbor is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer's
Every morning at 9 AM he knocks on my door and asks me if I've seen his wife.
Which means every morning at 9 AM I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer's that his wife has been dead for several years.
I could move. I could just not answer the door. But it's worth it to me to answer that door every morning at 9 AM and tell this 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer's that his wife is dead just to see the smile on his face.
Onomatopoeia
A man walks into a doctor's office. He describes his symptoms to the doctor, and the doctor decides to run some blood tests on him to figure out the problem. After the test results come back, the doctor approaches the man and says, "Sir, I'm sorry, but you're suffering from a severe case of Onomatopoeia." The man, looking frightened, replies, "Onomatopoeia...what is that?"
Said the doctor, "It's just what it sounds like."
Two cars crashed close to a bar at noon...
One driver died instantly. The other was thrown out of the windscreen, hit the ground, and broke several bones. He screams and shouts for help.
A man that was drinking at the bar leaves and sees the scene. He goes close to the screaming man and asks:
\- No one has arrived yet?
\- No! AHHHH! AHHH! AHHHH! - the driver shouts in pain
\- Not even the ambulance?
\- No! AHHHH! AHHH! AHHHH! - the driver shouts in agony
\- Not even the insurance company?
\- No! AHHHH! AHHH! AHHHH! - the driver shouts in suffering
\- Then you wouldn't mind if I lay there with you, would you?
A Doctor was addressing a large audience.
The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake.
School Essay Test
A teacher says to her class Tomorrow morning there will be a set essay writing exam. You are all to be on your best form and well rested overnight
One lad pipes up with a smirk What if we are suffering from severe s**... exhaustion Miss?
Well, she replies you'll just have to try to write with your other hand!
Bad Diet
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Miami, Florida.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all have, or will, eat it. Would anyone care to guess what food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a small 75-year-old man in the front row, raised his hand and said, "Wedding Cake?"
A university professor was preparing...
A university professor was preparing her students for the next day's final:
Other than a life-or-death emergency involving you or your family, you must be here tomorrow at taking this test. Your grade depends on it. No excuses!
One wise guy in the back asked, But what if I'm suffering from severe s**... exhaustion?
After the laughter died down, the professor looked at him and said, In that case, you'll just have to take the test with your other hand.
A woman goes with her husband to the doctor for his exam.
After the exam, the doctor pulls the wife aside and says: "Your husband is suffering from severe long term stress, and he is a good candidate for a heart attack or s**.... If you don't do the following three things he will surely die.
First, every morning fix him a healthy breakfast.
Second, when he gets home make him a warm, nutritious dinner and don't burden him with house hold chores.
Third, have s**... with him several times a week."
On the way home, the husband asks the wife " I saw the doctor talking to you and he looked serious. What did he say?"
Wife: " He says you're gonna die."
A man was held as a prisoner of war for several months
He was tortured for information, and every time he would refuse, they would slice off his extremities. They started with his fingers and when those were gone, they began to work on his feet.
When the camp he was at was raided and overtaken, he saw his old commander walk in, a flood of joy and relief washed over him as he was finally free from the suffering, finally able to go back home.
But as he met eyes with his commander, who looked down at him, then at his feet, he turned away and left him to die in the cell. The soldier saw his toe-less feet and his heart sank into his stomach. His commander was lack-toes intolerant.
Big Chief, No f**....
In a small Native community the Medicine Man is making a potion when Big Chief of the Tribe who is suffering from severe constipation walks in and says
"Big Chief No f**..."
The Medicine man Gives him a Potion from the shelf. Big Chief walks away.
The next day Big Chief walks in again and says
"Big Chief No f**..."
The medicine man this time prepares a fresh potion and gives it to Big Chief, Big Chief walks away.
The following day Big Chief walks into the medicine man's hut in severe stomach pain and crying he says.
"Big Chief No f**...!"
This time the medicine man starts to throw every ingredient he has, including eye of newt into the p**.... and gives Big Chief the potion. Big chief walks away.
five minutes later Big Chief's Wife runs into the medicine man's hut yelling.
"Big f**..., No Chief!"
Hospital Bill
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms & a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
'Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.
He said, "I only have a spinster sister & she's a nun."
The nun became agitated & announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law".
:D
Awful food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in New York..
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
"Wedding Cake."
Getting back on his feet
A man working in a warehouse suffers a terrible accident when a heavy crate falls on his feet crushing and severing all of his toes. At the hospital he undergoes several hours of surgery. After months of rehabilitation he is able to walk again.
He decides to visit his favorite local bar. Seeing an attractive young woman he approaches the bar.
"Hey, can I buy you a beer?" he asks.
Without hesitation, she replies angrily "Get out of my face. I can't believe you have the nerve to show up here. I can't stand your type!"
"Wow, wasn't expecting that" he says.
"Sorry", she replies, "I can't help myself sometimes. I am Lack Toes Intolerant".
Normal Wife
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.