Entertaining Suffer Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
Why did the drug addict suffer an overdose of c**...?
Because he crossed the line...
Here's another Diarrhea joke
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, then does one enjoy it?
I told my wife she had to buy me a fathers day present.
I mean, why should I suffer just because she had a miscarrage?
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit s**... yesterday....
But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, Βf**... it, soldier on!Β
So a college teacher is talking to his male students...
"Access to the women's dorms is strictly prohibited. If someone is caught there for the first time, they will suffer a fine of 100 dollars. The second offence will involve a 300 dollar fine. Getting caught there for the third time will cost you a hefty fine of 500 dollars."
Suddenly, a student in the back raises his hand and asks:
"How much for a semester pass?"
"My relationship with golf is starting to suffer"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah.. We're going through a rough patch"
I suffer from terrible insomnia
But on the bright side it's only three more sleeps till Christmas.
Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack
mainly because their hearts are already broken
The doctors say I suffer from insanity, but they have it all wrong.
I enjoy every minute of it.
Four old women were sitting on a bench
There were four old women sitting on a bench, minding there own business. When out of no where a streaker runs up to them and stops in front if the bench. Three of the women suffer a heart attack, the fourth has a s**....
You can explore suffer deficiency reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean suffer survive dad jokes. There are also suffer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I read that 1 in 5 women suffer from mental illness
so I guess that means the other 4 must enjoy it.
I suffer from tinnitus and my least favorite letter in the alphabet is...
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I'm addicted to having money in the bank.
And I really do suffer from withdrawals.
I've suffered from identity crisis since I was a little boy.
I mean girl.
My doctor told me I suffer from Anorexia...
... like it's not enough that I'm fat.
I'm speechless
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
I'm addicted to poverty
If my bank account has money in it I suffer withdrawal.
1 out of 4 suffer from a mental illness
Does this mean that the other 3 *enjoy* it?
I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com
It was a site for sore eyes
I used to suffer from delusions that I was a bland, flavourless cut of meat...
but now I'm cured.
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
Scientists say four out of five people suffer from diarrhea...
I'm just wondering, does that mean that *one* other person enjoys it?
Why are friendzone'd guys always sick?
They suffer from m'ladies
Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship?
The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring
I heard Starbucks is trying to hire a lot more refugees
Those poor art majors are going to suffer, then
1 out of 5 people suffer from loneliness.
So, if you look around and you don't see the other 4 people, they're out having fun without you.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...
... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Asked the Priest for forgiveness because I ate a dog today
Asked the Priest for forgiveness because I ate a dog today.
He said I would suffer eternal dalmatian.
What comes after the engagement ring and the wedding ring?
The suffer ring.
What type of chips suffer from allergies?
Nachoos
I heard the 3 out of 5 people suffer from cancer
The other 2 must be enjoying it!
Do you suffer from schizophrenia?
Just remember you're not alone
To all the people who stand up as soon as the plane has landed...
You must suffer from p**... evacuation.
Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.
Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it??
After both suffering from depression, my wife and I were going to commit s**... yesterday.
But once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better.
Doctor: I'm sorry John, but you suffer from Auto Correct Syndrome
John: I didn't even know I was I'll
I feel bad for children of gay parents
They either suffer from twice as many dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mother"
What does a person obsessed with IKEA suffer from?
Stock-home Syndrome
I suffer from CDO.
It's OCD with the letters in the correct order.
[A LITTLE SPICY] Why is Communism better than Fascism?
In Fascism, minorities suffer and are discriminated, while in Communism, everyone suffers!
If 4 out of 5 people suffer with depression in their lifetime
Does that mean one actually enjoys it?
Do you suffer from an addiction to water?
Can you not live without your water?
Do you try to quit, and come back to drinking water again?
Do you suffer from any of the following withdrawal symptoms when trying to quit?
* Headache?
* Fatigue?
* Dry t**...?
* Dry mouth?
* Darker u**...?
* Craving more water?
* Hunger?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, please call the water addiction hotline, 1-5-STOP-WATER.
A fortune teller told me I'd suffer awful heart break in 12 years.
To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.
My doctor told me that I suffer from paranoia.
I think someone paid him to say it.
If you suffer from schizophrenia
Don't worry, you're not alone
If you suffer from short term memory loss
If you suffer from short term memory loss
If you suffer from short term memory loss
I could've sworn I've done this already
Do you suffer from anxiety that an intruder may be hiding in your room?
You're not alone.
My husband died after falling into a giant vat of coffee at work.
He didn't suffer, it was instant.
Did you hear that they make a webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain?
It's a site for sore eyes.
I feel bad for children of gay couples.
They either suffer twice as many dad jokes or an endless cycle of ask your mother.
Scientists have determined that 39% of couples, suffer pain after eating this one food.
Wedding Cake.
Put-the-fork-down and walk away...
The first 5G cell phone mast in town is put up
Suddenly, all sorts of people develop medical conditions. A citizens' initiative against the mast is formed. A public hearing is organized with the mayor and representatives of the telecom company. The people bring forward all the ailments they suffer from since the mast was erected.
The telecom technician replies: "For God's sake, what will be going on when we then put the mast into operation?"
Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea
That means o**... likes it.
Why did the wizards show up to battle empty handed?
Their weapons were at a staff meeting.
Yes, yes. Groan, downvote, and move on. It popped into my head and I shouldn't have to suffer alone.
I carve all my pumpkins in September.
I suffer with p**... ejackolantern
"Your husband died by drowning in one of our beer tanks!"
... said the beer company reps to the woman having just learned about the unfortunate event
"Do you know ... did he suffer?" asks the woman in tears
"We honestly don't think he did.
He came out a few times to pee"
I formed a support group for people who suffer from Agoraphobia.
Unfortunately it didn't work out. Everyone wanted to have it at their place.
What does a president who cant get his votes up suffer from?
Electile dysfunction
A fortune teller told me that, in 12 years time, I'd suffer terrible heartbreak.
So, to cheer myself up, I bought a puppy.
Doctor: "Does anybody in your family suffer from mental illness?"
Me: "No... so far as I can tell, they seem to enjoy it."
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Sorry, I suffer from p**... congratulation.
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia.
Merry Christmas.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up
I now suffer from anxiety and depression
My doctor asked if I suffer from insanity.
I replied: No, I enjoy every minute of it.
Do you suffer from chronic m**...?
As a therapist i can help. We can beat it together.
My friend just sent me a phenomenal joke and I'm mad at her for being funnier than I am. Suffer with me.
Two guys are walking through the debris of a terrible accident. There are decaying bodies all around. The air is heavy and foreboding. The stench is putrid.
One of them starts having a coughing fit because the smell is so overwhelming. The other guy goes, hey are you alright? What's with all the coughing? Do you need your inhaler?
The coughing guy goes it's miasma....
If you are suffering from acute depression, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed....
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Tragedy at the Guiness brewery
p**... O Reilly works at the Guiness brewery, one day Mrs O Reilly gets a knock on the door, it's the manager.....he tells her there was a terrible accident and her husband drowned in a vat of Guiness.
She is devastated and finally manages to s**......please tell me he went quickly and didnt suffer.
The manager replied, I'm afraid not, in fact he got out 3 times to pee
A fortune teller told me I'd suffer a tragic heartbreaking loss in 12 years
So to cheer myself up I got a puppy
Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea.
That means one person enjoys it
Recently, a fortune teller told me that in about 12 years I would suffer terrible heartbreak.
So, to cheer myself up, I went and bought a puppy.
Aspirations
A young boy one day decided to make his desire to become a big writer.
"I want to write things that the people will read all around the world, something that the people will react with a very high emotional level such as scream, cry, get mad and make them suffer" He said.
Now he works at Microsoft and he writes error messages.
Doctor: I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.
Patient: What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!
Doctor: Nine.
To those of you suffering from paranoia
Just remember you are not alone
I suffer from a rare form of kleptomania that causes me to steal people kitchen utensils.
it's just a whisk I'm willing to take.
I suffer from Kleptomania....
...Sometimes, when it gets bad, I take something for it.
To everyone out there suffering from paranoiaβ¦
β¦Just remember you're not alone.
A fortune-teller told me that in 10-15 years, I would suffer the most terrible heartbreak any man has ever faced. I was so upset over learning this.
I decided to cheer myself up -- I adopted a puppy, and I've never been happier!
A couple wakes up in the middle of the night to find a thief in their bedroom
The thief points a gun at the couple.
"Now that you've seen me, I have to kill you both. Tell me your names and you won't suffer. I remember all my victims by their names."
The woman says "Stephanie."
"Wow. I can't kill you after all.. Stephanie was my Mother's name."
He points the gun at the man and asks his name.
"Phil. But all my friends call me Stephanie."
News just in of a honeymooner killed in a shark attack off the Perth Coast. The man had been married very recently. A police spokesman said
Fortunately the man did not suffer too much as he had only been married 5 days
A survey found that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea
That must mean that one dude actually enjoys it.
Russian man dies
Russian man die, but for him suffer not over. Man very wicked, and go to h**.... There devil make punish: he burn in lake of fire. Is warm. Russian man finally happy.
So devil make lake hotter. But Russian man now is warmer. Now is happier.
Devil get very frustrate. So devil make fire lake into ice lake--lake cold as million Russian winter. But Russia man now happiest of all!
"Devil!" he say, "h**... is freeze! Russia is finally happy country!"
But is not true. Is only story.
Also, man not in h**..., only Russia.
In a brewery, the ceiling is getting painted
One of the painters falls into a barrel with 1000 liters of beer and drowns. His boss then goes to the colleague's wife to report the death. "Did my husband suffer much?" "I don't think so, he went out to take a p**... three times."
Sarah watches as her mother tries on an expensive fur coat
in a high-end department store. Do you realize, Sarah says, that some poor, dumb animal had to suffer just for you to wear that coat? Sarah's mother turns to her and snaps, Think about how much I've suffered! And don't call your father an animal.
To everyone suffering from paranoia, let me just tell you:
You are not alone.
Obsessive Compulsive...
The representative body that supports people who suffer from OCD have petitioned the Government to change the acronym to CDO in alphabetical order the way it should be...
A guy walks into a bar, orders a bottle of champagne and yells "Happy New Year!"
"It's not even close to midnight yet, you idiot," the bartender reprimands him. "Oh, I'm sorry. I suspect I might have a rare medical condition that makes me yell that," the guy apologizes. "I think I suffer from p**... congratulations."
It is always difficult for me to attend funerals
I suffer from a condition called mourning wood.
