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Sue Jokes

126 sue jokes and hilarious sue puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sue that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out these hysterical Sue jokes to make your friends and family laugh! From Sue Me and Sue Sylvester to Suzi and Pamela, these materialistic jokes are sure to make you and anyone else who hears them chuckle.

Best Short Sue Jokes

Short sue jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sue humour may include short materialistic jokes also.

  1. Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes Me: I wish for a world without lawyers
    Genie: Done, you have no more wishes
    Me: But you said 3
    Genie: Sue me.
  2. I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my lawyer and said, I want to sue the airline. You don't have much of a case, he replied.
  3. Genie: You have 3 wishes. Me: I want a world without lawyers.
    Genie: Done. That concludes your wishes.
    Me: But you said I have 3 wishes?
    Genie: Sue me.
  4. Genie: I shall grant you three wishes. Me: I wish for a world without lawyers. Genie: Done, you have no more wishes. Me: But you said three. Genie: Sue me.
  5. I used to date a girl called Sue denim.... Until I found out that it wasn't her real name.
  6. I showed my lawyer my ripped up bag and asked if I could sue the airline. He said, You don't have much of a case.
  7. Fresh and Funny! Hey Sue, what do you say to a nice walk?

    Oh Harry, that would be lovely!

    Wonderful. Could you bring me some beer and cigarettes on your way back?
  8. I hired some lawyers to sue the airline company for mishandling my luggage. They lost my case.
  9. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
  10. I'm really scared that the Fine Bros are going to sue me because I just had an allergic reaction.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about sue can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of sue puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Sue One Liners

Which sue one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sue? I can suggest the ones about court and sue name.

  1. I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
  2. I was going to sue my neurosurgeon. But he changed my mind.
  3. I tried to sue an airport because of my missing luggage. I lost my case.
  4. How does a lawyer name their kids? Bill and Sue
  5. Why can't you sue a deaf guy? He can't go to the hearing
  6. I tried to sue the airline for misplacing my luggage. I unfortunately lost the case.
  7. I'm dyslexic but hoping to get a law degree. One that I can really sue.
  8. What did the lawyer name his baby? Sue
  9. Fine Bros can't sue metal beams, Because they don't react to jet fuel.
  10. What is a name for a female lawyer? Sue
  11. A man who has a lawsuit with Folgers has grounds to sue.
  12. I like defending myself in court. So sue me.
  13. Why did Papa John sue Papa John's? He kneaded the dough.
  14. Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
    A: Sue.
    Q: And his son?
    A: Bill.
  15. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue

Sue Me Jokes

Here is a list of funny sue me jokes and even better sue me puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was going to make a social media platform called "Please Try Again Later", but I figured Reddit would sue me for copyright violation.
  • Tried to sue British Airways because they lost my luggage. Turns out I didn't have a case.
  • I was going to sue U2 for stealing one of my songs But I found out my lawyer was pro-bono.
  • How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? One to climb the ladder, one to shake it and one to sue the ladder company
  • What do you get if you cross a doctor and a lawyer? Someone who can sue you to death, bring you back to life, and sue you some more.
  • I'm pretty sure that I experimented with homosexuality in college... I'm not sue though, my memories are kind of Spacey.
  • I tried to sue a company that sold me an erectile dysfunction treatment that didn't work But the evidence wouldn't stand up in court.
  • The airline smashed my luggage so I asked my lawyer if I could sue them... he said, "you don't have much of a case".
  • After major accidents with lots of preventable injuries, there's always a wave of lawsuits. The sue-nami.
  • How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? 3 lawyers .One climbs the ladder , the 2nd one to push it and the 3rd one to sue the lightbulb company.

Sue Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny sue name jokes and even better sue name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A baby sheep tried to sue an alcohol company for using his name on their product. The name has since been shortened to "Rini".
  • What are some funny names using the same concept as Hugh Mungus?! Here's a couple:
    Vijay Johnson aka Vijay J.
    Sue Asside
    Jenna Raider
    Ray Quaza
  • What's the name of the lawyer's wife? Sue
  • I asked Johnny Cash who wrote the song "A Boy Named Sue?" He said "It was a girl named Ralph."
  • There once was a lady named Sue... ..who didn't have much to do.
    So she pulled out the vacuum,
    and went to the bathroom,
    and found a new way to go p**....
  • There once was a Little Girl named Sue... She likes a lot of celebrities. But, every person she idolises commits s**.... Because they're Sue's idols! Hahaha?

Laughable Sue Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about sue you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean sue me jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make sue prank.

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!

A Lady Threatened to Sue Her Husband's Doctor

A lady threatened to sue her husband's doctor because after he recovered from surgery he had performance issues in bed. She claimed that he could no longer get it up and therefore could no longer please her.
The Doctor responded with "How's that my fault? I only removed his cataracts."

A Genie grants a person 3 wish

The genie says I shall grant you 3 wishes, ask what you must
The man replies I want a world without lawyers
Granted, you have no more wishes left said the genie
The man exclaimed But wait! You said 3 wishes!
Genie replied Sue me

Man finds a lamp

He rubs it and pop the genie comes out.
Genie: I shall grant you three wishes.
Man: I wish for a world with no Lawyers.
Genie: p**...! Done, now you have no more wishes.
Man: but you said three.
Genie: Whatcha gonna do? Sue me!

A dad joke that took some time

I have a friend named Michelle, but everyone calls her Mitz. I was at a bar once with Mitz and another woman named Sue. Someone we didn't know walked up and began chatting. Eventually, we got to introduce ourselves. Mitz went first, then Sue, so I, of course, introduced myself as Bishi.
They all looked at me like I was an idiot, but I loved every second of it.

Bubba Calls 911

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. 'Where do you live?' asked the operator.
Bubba replied, 'At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.'
The operator asked, 'Can you spell that for me?'
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, 'How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?'

Mary and Sue are discussing good-looking boys in their high school.

Mary asks "Have you seen that new Mexican kid Amal Garcia?"
"Garcia?" Sue responds. "No, but I think I've seen his brother Juan"
Mary replies "They're identical twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

Sue reports for jury duty as ordered.

She promptly asks to be excused because she believes she's prejudiced. "I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."
"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."

A lawyer approached the Pearly Gates of Heaven

I'm only 45 years old! Why is it already my time to depart? Send me back to Earth right now or I'll sue you! he angrily snapped to the gatekeeper.
Based to the records of your billable hours, Mr. Lawyer, you're 98 years old. , replied the gatekeeper.

Two nuns are walking down an alley late at night...

When they get approached by 2 men who begin assaulting them. After minutes of the altercation, Sister Mary Sue screams, "Oh dear Lord! Forgive this man for he knows not what he is doing!" Sister Sarah looks up and says, "....Mine does".

After so long of h**... being just too hot...

The inhabitants decide to steal a/c units from Heaven and install them, making the place a little more comfortable. When the inhabitants of Heaven learn what's been done, they lash out in outrage. "How dare you! We'll sue you!" they cried.
To which h**...'s residents replied: "You can try, sure, but where are you guys gonna find a lawyer?"

My friend had his bags stolen on his flight

he arrived at his destination and went straight to a lawyer to sue someone who he thought did it. When the jury reached their decision he was not happy.
He lost his case!

Today the president signed a bill making it against the law to get up out of a chair.

I tried to sue but the judge said there was no legal standing.

I never really met my neighbors until they tried to sue me over the ownership of some property.

Turns out we had a lot in common.

God and the devil were in a dispute over a broken fence.

God said you have to pay for half.
The devil said "not paying"
God said "you have to, or I'll sue!"
The devil laughed and said "where are you gonna get a lawyer?

If being spineless is a crime, sue me!

I think, I'll just plead guilty.
*On a serious note, I'll probably beg you to withdraw charges.*

A mans luggage was lost on an airline, so he attempted to sue them.

Turns out he lost the case.

There once was a lady named Sue...

There once was a lady named Sue
She didn't have much to do
So she pulled out the vacuum
and went to the bathroom
And found a new way to go p**...
**I just want to say this is not a repost. I wrote this Limerick, with the exception of the first two lines.*

I was really angry when my wife tried to sue me for impotence

But luckily they couldn't make it stand up in court

So I'm at the dentist's office...

...in the waiting room when this woman comes storming out, shouting curses and threatening to sue. When she's gone, the dentist is standing in the doorway, speechless, so I ask him, "gee, doc, what's got her knickers in a twist?" And he says, "I don't know, I just asked her to take a shot in the mouth."

Sue has lunch with her blonde friend, Mary.

Sue offers to pay because she recently got a whole bunch of money. Mary asks her how, and she says a man hit her with his car so she sued him.
The next day, Mary shows up with a wedding ring on her finger. Sue asks what happened, and she says, "a guy hit me with his car, so I did just what you would have done. I Mary'd him!"

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That's not funny. I'm going to sue!


(I got this from an Apples to Apples card)

Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?

He didn't have a leg to stand on

When I was a young boy I tried to get the leader of our church to touch me inappropriately during confession so that I could sue him...

But he just told me to stop pastor baiting.

Started reading the bible.

Could not bother finishing. Jesus is such a Mary Sue and lacking in any true character development. 1 star.

The airline lost my prosthetic leg

To make matters worse, a baggage handler dropped a heavy suitcase on my foot... I wanted to sue the airline, but my lawyer said I didnt have a leg to stand on.

I went to my WIFES doctor and told him I was going to sue him.

When he asked why I explained that ever since my wife left his care she hasn't been s**... interested in me.
The doctor said all he done was cataract surgery and now she can see.

My friend got crushed when a Billy bookcase fell on him in Ikea yesterday. He's decided not to sue though...

He says it was a shelf inflicted injury.

What's the martial arts All jews are afraid of?

Jew Git sue.

Someone tried to sue me over my bottomless pit

But there weren't any grounds

Why did the weatherman sue the clouds?

They wouldn't let him see his sun!!

Why did the blackboard sue the dry erase marker?

Because the dry erase marker would only work with the whiteboard.

Jury awards $22 million to man locked in closet by East Cleveland police for four days with no food or toilet.

R Kelly is going to sue the East Cleveland police for copyright infringement.

Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth?

Because it was accidental.

Why did the gay man sue the mental hospital?

They held him in a straightjacket.

I sued a hypnotist for fraud.

I won cause he couldn't persuade me not to sue him.

Miners to sue a harmless tree-hugger. If you ask me, those miners are just making...

A molehill out of the mountain.

What do you do if you have an ugly kid with a hot partner?

Sue for false advertising

Why did the taxi driver sue the man who died in his cab?

Because life isn't fare.

Never try to sue an origami

This action will eventually fold back on you

I'm going to have to sue the zoo...

... I visited the apiary and there weren't any monkeys at all, just a s**... bunch of bees.

Amazon should sue Samsung....

For infringing on the copyrights of their Kindle and Fire.

Don't give a man a fish. Teach a man to fish. Then sue that man for fishing on your property.

What do you call a lawer that can cook?

A sue chef

I tried to sue Santa for skipping our house on Christmas

...but he had a clause in his contract that allowed it

Why did Stalin try to sue the sky?

Because the stars weren't red.

My Aunt Sue is a rather mediocre knitter

She's a so-so sewer Sue

jokes about sue

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these sue jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.