The Best 58 Sucks Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sucks jokes. There are some sucks suck jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sucks you suck puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sucks Jokes and Puns

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

I wish I could be ugly for one day.

Being ugly every day sucks.

Adam's new wife

Adam had been in the garden of Eden for several years without someone to share his life with. One day, he asked God for a companion.

God said to him, "I can give you a wife that will be everything you could dream of. Humble and submissive, she will make your life nothing but pleasurable. However, to make her I'll need an arm and a leg."

Adam says, "Aw what, that sucks! What can I get for a rib?"

Sucks joke, Adam's new wife

I've come to the conclusion that my sex life sucks.

I was masturbating the other day, and my hand fell asleep.

I just bought the best vacuum ever

It sucks


Sorry in advance for the pun...

So they opened a new zoo by my house, it really sucks. They only have one dog....it's a total shih tzu.

Having sex with a waitress sucks.

She only takes the tip.

Sucks joke, Having sex with a waitress sucks.

You know your life sucks...

when your job sucks, your car sucks, your house sucks, but your wife doesn't.

- Sorry if it's a repost.

What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?

Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

Why is Oklahoma so windy?

Because Kansas sucks, and Texas blows

My friend was in a terrible accident, and now has to breathe through a straw

...you could say he sucks at life.

You can explore sucks dyson reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sucks blowjob dad jokes. There are also sucks puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My girlfriend is the squareroot of -100.

She's a 10 but it sucks because she's imaginary.

I heard that Elton John was pretty good on the piano

but apparently he sucks on the organ.

What has eight arms and sucks?

Nickelback

I wish I was poor one day in my life...

Because being poor everyday sucks...

An insolent teenager stomps off to her room...

Teenager: "And another thing - JIM MORRISON SUCKS!"

Dad: "Hey! There'll be no slamming of the Doors in this house!"

Sucks joke, An insolent teenager stomps off to her room...

What is the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years your job still sucks.

What sucks about being an egg?

You get laid once, and it's by your mom.

If I got a dollar everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

I'd have enough money to buy a house in the economy they ruined.


Losing game pieces sucks...

Especially when it's hide and seek...

I'll never forget you, Brian..

Why does Elton John play the piano?

Because he sucks on an organ.

Bono from U2 is the voice of my car's GPS

It sucks. The streets have no names and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

My ex-wife is like a tornado

First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog.

I wish i was ugly for just one single day..

Because being ugly everyday just sucks!

A boy and his father are in an argument

Father: "I've had enough of this! Go to your room and don't come back out until you've thought long and hard about what you've done"

Son: "Fine, I didn't want to be here anyways"

Son: *Stomps up stairs*

Son: *Walks into his room, gently closes the door*

Son: "Jim Morrison sucks!"

Father: "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors!?"

Going through customs at a US airport

Customs agent: Do you have anything to declare today?
Me: *starts sweating* ummmmm no. *trips and falls. Hundred of Kinder eggs spill from my pockets, jacket and bag*
Customs agent: GET ON THE FLOOR NOW!
Me: But, I am -
*armed guards swarm around and pin me down*
Armed guards: WHAT'S IN THE EGGS!!!
Me: I don't know, it's a surprise!!

(Sorry if the formatting sucks. On mobile)

An insolent teenager is having an argument with her father

And as she storms off she shouts, "Oh and by the way, Jim Morrison SUCKS!"

The father looks back and responds, "Hey, there will be no slamming of The Doors in my house."

You know what sucks?

Negative Pressure

What do you call an Egyptian god who sucks at CS:GO?

A-noob-is.

Working at home sucks...

....if you're a firefighter.

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

What's the difference between a job and marriage to a woman?

After ten years, the job still sucks.

Dad: Go to your room!

Son: Jim Morrison sucks!

Dad: what did I tell you about slamming The Doors?

I got a job at the zoo circumcising Elephants.

The pay sucks but the tips are huge.

Elton John is a great pianist

but I hear he sucks on the organ

Meanwhile at the Sperm Donor Bank

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.

He goes up to the nurse and demands for her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.

So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!".

So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well.

Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard is it ?."

Trump was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks."

Infuriated, Trump called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.

"The bad news is that the urine is from Putin."

"Vlad? How could he do this to me? What could be worse than this?"

"The handwriting's is Melania's."

What are the problems of a middle aged man?

Life sucks, job sucks, and wife does not

Otherwise

You may think this joke sucks,

But the title says otherwise.

I made this joke up on the way home from work, sorry if it sucks: A history teacher tells a failing student that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Student: But history is so boring!

Teacher: Well, if you don't do better you'll be retaking it next year.

Student: What??

Teacher: I TOLD you, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it!

This sucks, 2022 is going to be terrible

Because 2022 is 2020, too

Otherwise

You might think this post sucks.
But the title says otherwise

Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has pissed Trump Sucks in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .

they have a Roomba now that can clean stairs

which sucks on so many levels

I was taking a shit, when it hit me...

Kinda sucks, being an astronaut.

You know what sucks the most about being a democrat in a republican household?

If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an ass of yourself

What do you call 2 pirates that like each other?

a pirate ship


i know it sucks but i literally made this on the spot like a couple mins ago and thought to share it

Being constipated sucks

Worst part is you can't do shit about it

What do you call a lotion that sucks at its job?

A DissapOINTMENT. Plz laugh

I don't know why people hate China. I love it and can't say I have a whole lot wrong with it.

It just sucks they've been stuck on that island for so long.

Tractors

So there was this guy who was a fan of tractors. He had posters of it everywhere. He had his own tractor business, married a beautiful wife. The whole 9 yards.

One day his wife died from a tractor accident. Heartbroken he got rid of his business, his posters, everything tractor related.

Few years later he goes on a date. The restaurant starts smoking and he says "Darling wait i got this". He sucks in all the smoke goes outside and blows it away. Everyone starts applauding and his date asks "How did you do that?". The guy says: "Im an extractor fan"

I wish I could be dumb for one day...

...being dumb everyday simply sucks!

What did one deadhead say to the other, when they ran out of weed?

Wow man, this music sucks!

A time traveler meets Adolf Hitler in a bar

Instead of trying to kill him and mess up the timeline he instead sits down to have a drink with Hitler.

The time traveler looked at Hitler and asked So how are you doing?

Pretty terrible, I just got kicked out of art school.

Well that sucks, you'll probably land on your feet though.

Yea you're right, but you want to know what I hate?

Let me guess, Jews?

Well, now that you mention it…

the vacuum cleaner in my dorm is so bad..

i would say it sucks but it can't even do that

What's the difference between Ted Nugent and a vacuum cleaner?

You have to plug in the vacuum before it sucks.

In the old days when everyone got paid in cash for their work, Frank was walking to the pub to meet up with his friends when he found an envelope with someone's payslip and entire wages for the week.

His face was angry when he got inside the pub. His friends asked him what was wrong.

What's wrong? He exclaimed. What's wrong is that I just found an entire pay packet.

Sucks for them, but good for you. What wrong with that, though?

Look at how much tax they had to pay.

I got a broken vacuum cleaner today

I want to say it sucks, but it really doesn't

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sucks work sucks jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sucks dallas cowboys suck piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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