Following is our collection of funny Suck jokes. There are some suck spits jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these suck you suck puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
On an unrelated note, I suck at darts.
He's always getting nailed to the boards.
They never got past the white belt.
You have to sit in the back of the oven.
That night, the wife comes out of the bathroom naked and starts playing with her nipples.
"What did you think the first time you saw these 30 years ago?"
"I wanna to suck them dry," he says.
She crawls onto the bed, "What did you think when you saw all this 30 years ago?"
"I wanted to screw your brains out, baby," he says with a smile.
She giggles, teasingly, "What are you thinking now?"
"I think I did a pretty good job at both."
Man, threading a needle is tough!
The Cowboys suck.
*(I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I don't lack a sense of humor.)*
...it'll be a vacuum!
After their customary intimate greeting, one of them asked the other, "Fabian, have you stopped smoking?"
When Fabian replied in the affirmative, his chum asked him how he had managed to kick the habit.
Explained Fabian, "It was easy really. Everytime I felt like a cigarette, I`d just suck on a lifesaver."
Replied his friend, "Well - lucky you live near the beach."
Cowboys that suck.
At first they are small and hot, then they get bigger and bigger, then finally they suck the life out of everything around them.
You can explore suck vant reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean suck mommas dad jokes. There are also suck puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because they learn everything on web.
:(
i know i suck at jokes.
Because no one ever makes sandwiches.
I figure if they're willing to suck on something that nasty, they'll suck just about anything.
Your job sucks,
Your kids suck,
And your wife doesn't.
You get laid once, and it's by your mom.
It's a good way to make a quick buck.
Because if it snows, you can't call and say you're snowed in.
According to Bill, she doesn't suck.
I couldn't because they all suck
*Son: Yes father?
*Father: Check out this cool severed hand I just found!
editted for format, which I suck at apparently
"Fire at Will"
The first Apple product that doesn't suck
(not hating on apple or anything but i got this joke somewhere)
If you let her have more she might suck it too.
Because I start laughing even before I reach the punchline. The doctor says I have a premature hehejaculation.
Always telling you to expect 8-12 inches,
only to find out it's not even 4.
They all suck.
When I thought.. "Hang on a fuckin' minute"
...he meets his cellmate for the first time, a huge hulk of a man, who turns to him and says, 'We're gonna play a game, a game of mommies and daddies... Do you wanna be the mommy or the daddy?'
The new convict relunctantly replies, 'I guess I'll, ...I'll be the, ...the daddy?...'
The inmate smiles and says 'Fantastic! ...Now come over here and suck mommy's cock'.
The kid throws a tantrum and refuses to suck on his mother's breast. So in a fit, the mother tells her son, "If you don't want this milk, I'm gonna give this to the gentleman beside us."
An hour later, the kid still refused to breastfeed. So she tells her son again, "If you won't breastfeed, I'm really gonna give this to this man beside us!"
Then the guy beside them suddenly interrupted, "Please make up your mind now. My stop was 30 minutes ago."
I really suck at Guac-a-mole.
Not your wife.
I hope ~~he~~ life also gives you water and sugar or else your lemonade's gonna suck.
Too bad i suck at it.
They always keep all the green cards
Girl: Tom, I've come to realize something about the letter s.
Boy: Tell me.
Girl: Words that start with s suck.
Boy: What do you mean?
Girl: Well, snakes suck. So does a sting, and so does getting stabbed.
Boy: Well, Sally, if thats the case I'd like to have you over tonight for dinner.
Let her finish the bottle and she'll probably suck it as well.
My nephew has a habit of sucking his thumb, so i had a brilliant idea to make him stop. I told him people that suck their thumbs become fat.
At the store yesterday however, we ran across a pregnant lady and he had the great idea to shout "I know what you have been sucking on" in the middle of the store.
But when he gets there, he sees a very old man wearing a toga.
Confused, he asks the man what if it's 1980. The man replies "Of course it's 19AD!"
.
.
.
.
I just came up with this joke, so feel free to modify it, because as we can all see, I suck at making jokes :)
It means that they make a ton of noise and don't suck anymore.
She always corrects my grammar while having sex. I'll go "suck it good" and she'll reply "it's suck it well!". I'll say "Who's your daddy" and she'll correct "who's your dad".
She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of colon.
Either you get stuck with double the dad jokes or get thrown into an infinite loop of "go ask your mother."
Since every girl there has a magic wand, they don't really need the boys at all.
They suck when they work and they suck when they don't
The Chargers suck.
Negative Pressure
Guess we need to stop eating out
White people have never been good at integration.
The priest asks, "How many of you commit adultery? Those who do, stand up." Just then the old lady wakes up and asks her son-in-law, "What did he say?" The son-in-law wants to play a prank and answers "Those who take Tic Tacs have to stand up." The woman, who takes the pills by boxes, stands up. Everyone gasps, and the priest asks, "How could you, at your age?"
"Just because I've got no teeth doesn't mean I can't suck 'em!"
This process is commonly called marriage.
pear
The woman is trying to breastfeed, but the baby refuses to suck on her breast. She warns her child, if you don't start sucking, I'm going to give it to the man next to me , but the baby still refuses.
After 20 minutes, the woman repeats the threat several times to no avail. The man finally clears his throat and says, look here lady, you need to make up your mind, I was supposed to get off 6 bus stops ago!
"Fire at will"
Because out of all the things you could be bad at, you suck at breathing.
female mosquitos don't belong in a workplace. They the suck the life right out of you.
That's probably why.
Nobody tells you you did a good job when you eat all of your food.
Is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.
Husband: Neither does the dish washer.
You get fired unless you suck at your job
An old grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day.
First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: "Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.".
The granny answers: "You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them."
That'd be quite a feet
Because they fail to see the red flags in a relationship
. On a related note...…………………. I suck at darts.
Oh. I put this post in the wrong place, didn't I?
...that's probably why.
My neighbor who had horrible jokes passed away this week. This was one of his favorites. Enjoy a good (bad) pun in his memory.
in 5 years your job will still suck
Because 2022 is 2020, too
He calls 911.
Boy: 911?
Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Boy: I'm stuck in a well.
Operator: How old are you? Is the well deep?
Boy: im14andthisisdeep.
I told him I treat all toes fairly, I just don't wanna start off on the wrong foot.
It didn't work and ended up giving me a wedgie.
To make it wet, you suck it.
To make it stiff, you lick it.
To get it in, you push it!
Damn! Threading a needle at any age is no joke.
or does the earth just suck
They both suck.
And how are they different? A mosquito will stop sucking eventually.
If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an ass of yourself
A broken vacuum cleaner
It's rumored to be the only Apple product that won't suck.
unless you Count Dracula
But what do I know? I'm a ceiling fan.
Because love means nothing to them.
The polynomials are dancing, the square root function is drinking, yet the exponential function remains to the side.
so the inverse function asks what's wrong.
To which the exponential function responds: whether I integrate or not, nothing will change, now leave.
(courtesy of my physics teacher, I translated from French so might suck, don't gimme too much flak)
They never protect the king, always the queen
She replied, "YES,I'll marry you."
Because I suck at tennis.
They really suck
... that's why they are dating dinosaours
I said, "it must suck tibia right now".
Have you ever thought about that?
No, because all you think about is yourself.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the suck packers suck jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working suck dallas cowboys suck piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.