The Best 35 Suck Blood Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Suck Blood jokes. There are some suck blood jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these suck blood puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Suck Blood Jokes and Puns

Vampires suck your blood to get vitamin D, because they can not be out in the sun.

Have you ever thought about that?

No, because all you think about is yourself.

My only form of income is donating blood

It's sucking the life out of me

Yo mama so fat, Dracula sucked her blood and got diabetes.

The word politics is derived from two words

The word poly meaning many and the word ticks meaning blood sucking parasite.

Politics Is the Most Accurate Word In English

It's made up of two other parts.

1 - Poly - meaning many
2 - Ticks - blood sucking insects.

Explaining Words

Poli.....Latin for "many"

Tics....blood sucking insects


If poly means many and ticks are blood sucking parasites,

then politics must mean...

I've finally understood the meaning of "politics"

It's derived from "poly", the Greek word for "many", and "tics", a blood sucking parasite.

I told my friends I was a blood sucking insect from the moon

they said I was a luna tick.

A man sucked the blood of a vampire and he said..

Hmm, irony.

What's the difference between a Goldman Sachs executive and a blood-sucking leech?

The leech drops off when it's full.

You can explore suck blood reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean suck blood dad jokes. There are also suck blood puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Politics is self describing

The word politics comes from poli- meaning many,

and -tics, meaning blood sucking parasites.

I don't know why women have a fascination with Twilight.

The reason being, vampires and women are entirely different. One is a blood sucking monster that preys on the helpless and the other are vampires.

What's the difference between an eel and a lawyer?

One's an ugly, slimy, scaly, cold blooded parasitic scum-sucking bottom-feeder,

and the other is a fish that's shaped like a snake.

Why don't vampires suck on chinese blood?

Because it tastes wong.

Define: Politics

(poli) many (tics) blood-sucking insects

[Nsfw] This girl from Compton had the weirdest IG page. Turns out she was a real life Vampire!

She sucked all the bloods

What's pale, lives in darkness and sucks blood?

A tampon

What is the etymology of politics?

Poly for many and tics for blood sucking creatures.

The REAL definition of POLITICS

This is the real definition.
Therefore, Politics = Many blood sucking parasites. :)

NASA claims that they've just discovered blood sucking bugs on the moon.

They're a bunch of lunatics.

What does my wife and a blood sucking parasite have in common?

Nothing. I love my wife and she supports me in all that we do

A blond is asked the definition of Politics.

She says "Simple! It comes from two words. The first, poly- which is Latin for many. And ticks, which are blood sucking bugs."

How many blood hungry vampires does it take to dress a wound?

The answer's irrelevant as they all suck at it anyway.

A man and his wife have to go to a doctor. The doctor asks, Do you share the same blood group?

A man and his wife have to go to a doctor. The doctor asks, Do you share the same blood group?

The husband replies, We must by now. She's been sucking my blood for years.

What did the vampire lizard say to his next victim?

Iguana suck your blood!


Vampire: " I vant to suck your cock!!!...just the blood just the blood..."

Awkward silence.

I really suck at school, the only time I got an A+

is at the blood test.

What do you call an insane nocturnal blood-sucking parasite?

A lunartick.

I went to this new doctor, but he was terrible...

All he did was suck blood from my neck. Do not go see Dr. Acula.

What do lawyers and mosquitoes have in common?

They're both blood sucking parasites.

What's got wings and sucks blood?

Always ultra

Why did the vampire lose his job at the blood bank?

Because he sucked at it!

A genie granted me a wish,

i said i wish to turn me into something who always suck the blood of the beautiful women, then poooof, i became a tampon..

What's pale, sucks blood and comes out at night?

A tampon.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the suck blood jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working suck blood piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes