The Best 47 Successfully Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Successfully jokes. There are some successfully infringement jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these successfully unsuccessful puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Successfully Jokes and Puns

Hugh Hefner

Today, famous playboy Hugh Hefner successfully managed to stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy Mansion, where they had been selling flowers.

Said one friar, "Well if it was anyone else we could've gotten away with it, but unfortunately only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

I got arrested last night for murder...

I can't remember too much, I was out drinking till late. Once I left the pub I saw two young men fighting. It took some effort but I successfully managed to separate them.

The judge says they were Siamese twins conjoined at the head.

I hate going through airport security...

For some reason I'm always stopped at the metal detector, even if i'm carrying NOTHING! So as you can imagine, on my latest trip, when I successfully got past the metal detector I was so pleased that I whispered "YES" to myself. As you can imagine, that didn't go down too well.

Successfully joke, I hate going through airport security...

I just successfully robbed a bank!

Now what to do with all this sperm...

Needed: Eyelids

A baby is born with no eyelids. The doctors need a solution, and fast. The best solution, and the one they arrive at, is to use his foreskin for his new eyelids. They successfully attach his foreskin as eyelids, with only one complication. Now hes a little cock-eyed.


The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless...

I was like, 0mg!

The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.

Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield.

They will have the element of supplies.

Successfully joke, The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.

Men 1 Women 0

If women can do anything men can, how come they've never successfully suppressed an entire gender?

Men 1 Women 0.....

(AP) New York - A baby delivered without eyelids had surgery today at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan, NY. Doctors successfully removed the child's foreskin and were able to use the tissue to successfully form eyelids. Doctors said the child will be fine.

Just a little cockeyed.

What is the greatest accomplishment of the Austrian people?

Successfully convincing the rest of the world that Beethoven was Austrian and that Hitler was German.

After I drink coffee I show my empty mug

to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java.

He hates me.

You can explore successfully trials reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean successfully unsuccessfully dad jokes. There are also successfully puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If the next president is white....

That means the entire country went black and successfully went back.

I saw a weird competition yesterday - The first person to successfully have intercourse with them self wins.

So I entered myself.

Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.- Pavlov's Dog

People say women can do everything men can do.

Have women ever successfully oppressed an entire gender?

I just successfully pulled-off the 'key to comedy' joke around my surgery.

As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, 'I have a joke'. 'Better be quick!' The anaesthetist said.
'Do you know what the key to comedy is?'
Then I smiled and passed out.

When I woke up a couple of hours later I asked the nurse to tell the anaesthetist my message: 'timing'.

I was a bit worried I just dreamed the first part but I checked with the doc and they said they got it all :)

Great success.

Successfully joke, I just successfully pulled-off the 'key to comedy' joke around my surgery.

During a weekly game at the home for the aged, the bingo caller began choking and then collapsed.

He was rushed to emergency, and went immediately into surgery.

It appeared that 40 years of calling bingo games in smoky halls had finally caught-up with him.

The surgeon successfully removed a mass that was blocking his windpipe.

After waking from the surgery, the caller asked the surgeon if the mass was malignant.

The surgeon replied, "Fortunately, no. It was B9."

Scientist: We've successfully taught a dog Morse code!

Dog: [taps paw]

Me: What did it say??

Scientist: "Woof."

Women think that they can do the same things as men...

But they haven't successfully oppressed an entire gender


A farmer once successfully bred a three-legged chicken...

and bragged about it to his neighbors on how fast it was. A billionaire was passing by and took a liking to it. So he made a million dollar offer to the farmer for the chicken. Surprisingly, the farmer declined.

'Then, I'll give you five million for it,' said the billionaire.

'Sorry, I can't,' said the farmer.

'10 million dollars, I don't believe you'll turn down the offer'

'I'm truly sorry. I can't.'

The billionaire was stumped and asked, 'Is 10 million not enough?'

The farmer only sighed and reply, 'It's not that I don't want to sell it, that darned chicken is literally too fast for me to catch it.'

What's the difference between Hitler and a marathon runner?

The marathon runner can successfully finish a race

A detective has finally solved a high profile dog murder.

He successfully followed a lead.

Apple has successfully created a self driving car

However, they are having problems installing windows.

So I hear EA has removed all refund options from their website, and now customers have to call them directly. But hey:

"The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment from successfully navigating our automated phone menu."

Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog?

They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.

Scientists in China have successfully cloned two macaque monkeys.

It's quite impossible to tell them apart, said one of the monkeys

The Great Cow Escape

A group of cows who were no longer producing the required amount of milk were scheduled to be butchered. They had a long discussion the night before, and decided to try an escape. They used cow mannequins to fool the farmer and snuck out successfully. It was an elaborate plan filled with bravery and heroism. Proving true, once again, that drastic times call for plastic heifers.

Two conjoined twins, attached by the face, have successfully been separated today.

Since the operation they've done nothing but argue.

Having once been so close, they no longer see eye to eye.

If women are as good as men...

How come they haven't successfully oppressed an entire gender?

What has R. Kelly done more successfully than any other musician?

Using A minor

I successfully made a real clone that looks exactly like me

I'm beside myself with excitement.

Some people are suggesting that Bill Cosby should have his honourary doctorate taken away.

But the man successfully anesthetized over 50 women, countless times. If anything he has done more to earn the title doctor" than ever before.

My mother always tells me to take advice from successful people

How do I get advice from people who've successfully killed themselves?

A real cliffhanger....

Did you hear about the scientist who successfully made an exact copy of himself?

Unfortunately it was very foul mouthed and crude, and the scientist grew tired of it, and finally got rid of it by pushing it off a cliff.

He was later arrested for making an obscene clone fall.

Scientists have successfully grown human vocal cords in the lab

The results speak for themselves.

The Arizona Wildlife World Zoo refused to euthanize the panther that killed a woman who jumped into its enclosure to take a selfie...

...making it the first black entity to ever successfully invoke the Castle Doctrine/Stand Your Ground against a white entity.

America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona

By keeping the first one going

The United States appears to be successfully avoiding a second wave

By keeping the first wave going

When I successfully invade Canada and they offer me lands in a peace treaty...

I'll take Nunavut.

Scientists have successfully grown human vocal chords in a Petri dish.

The results speak for themselves

Day 19 of the experiment...

"Day 19 of the experiment, I have successfully conditioned my master to give me food,smile,and write in his book every time I drool." - Pavlov's Dog

Doctor the operation was a success

Patient really?

Doctor yes, we have successfully removed the colon.

I successfully quit my job as an animator without making a scene, so I had a party to celebrate...

and everybody brought gifs.

Monday Science

I have finally figured out how to successfully clone a human…

Needless to say, I am beside myself.

Steve and his mother were way behind on their car payments

The repo man had been after them for a while but hadn't successfully gotten the car yet. One day Steve had an idea for a "sting" operation to solve the problem once and for all. Before he left he shouted to his mom that he was taking the car, but she was in the bathroom and couldn't make out what he said.

"What are you taking?" she asked.

"Car, ma, for repo sting!"

I can successfully predict the winners of every divorce case. Here is the list:

The lawyers.

A man's car gets haunted by a ghost

So he decided to go to a priest to get it removed.

The priest performs the exorcism, and it works! He successfully removes the ghost from the car. He says to the man "That'll be $250." The man refuses to pay, and so a couple weeks later his car gets repossessed.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the successfully triumphantly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working successfully nicely piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes