The Best 44 Succeed Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Succeed jokes. There are some succeed hardest jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these succeed fail puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Succeed Jokes and Puns
This Joke Is A Real Lemon
A barman was very proud of the fact that he could squeeze a lemon so that no more juice would come out of it He made a standing offer of $1000 to anyone who could get more juice out of a lemon after he'd squeezed it. Every night big, burly regulars at the bar attempted to get more juice from a lemon he'd squeezed, but no one could produce so much as a drop. But one night, a little bloke walked in and said he'd heard of the standing offer and would like to try. The barman said 'How do you think you could succeed when all these blokes have failed?' And the little guy said: 'Just give me a chance and I'll show you'.
So the barman, thinking his regulars would enjoy the joke, picked up a lemon and squeezed it. After squeezing all the juice he could out of it, he handed the dried ring to the little bloke and said: 'Here you go.' The little bloke took the lemon and squeezed it and managed to get one, two, three for fix, SIX more drops of juice. Amazed, the barman said: 'Well, here's your $1000. But what do you do for a living? Are you a professional bodybuilder or what?' And the little bloke said: 'No, I work for the Tax Department.'
You know what they say?
If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.
If at first you don't succeed..
Then that's it for skydiving.
A man is about to have surgery...
The surgeon says : Don't worry I've done this operation hundreds of times.
The man responds: That's sounds reassuring.
The surgeon then says: Yeah, I have to succeed someday.
Prostitutes are really over achievers...
I mean all they do is succeed.
If at first you don't succeed
try try a gun
The Apple Car will never succeed.
It doesn't have windows.
Did the depressed rope maker succeed?
Sadly, he did knot.
Why was the gay man ambitious?
Because all he wanted to do was *SUCCEED*.
You might as well shoot for the stars because...
Best case scenario you succeed and are immediately vaporized into nothing. Worst case scenario you miss and fade into the endless void of nothing.
Terrible advice for a suicide survival hotline:
If at first you don't succeed...
You can explore succeed boogie reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean succeed accomplish dad jokes. There are also succeed puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Another blonde joke
A professor told his class:
"Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"
A blonde asked, "Who is 'Seed'?"
If at first you don't succeed
we have a lot in common.
If at first you don't succeed...
Find a bigger hammer.
Democracy obviously doesn't work.
I mean, I was voted "most likely to succeed" at High School.
Cow tipping.
If you succeed in tipping a cow only part way, such that only one of its feet is till on the ground, you have created lean beef. Such a feat is well done. Naturally, being outside, the cow is unstable. When it falls over, it becomes ground beef.
Life is like sex...
If you're going to succeed, things are going to be hard.
"At first if you don't succeed, try, try again"
- Harvey Weinstein
If at first you don't succeed
Then skidiving isn't for you
A blonde joke
A professor is teaching his class and gets philosophical.
"Fame will come to you only if you succeed "
The blonde asks, " Who is Seed?"
My motto is "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
They don't let me volunteer for the suicide prevention hotline anymore.
My father always told me son if you want to succeed in life never take no for an answer
Terrible father, great rapist
If at first you don't succeed...
... then bomb disposal probably isn't the career for you
Great Moments in Lawyering
"Have you ever attempted suicide?"
"Yes, on multiple occasions."
"Did you ever succeed?"
What succeeds?
A toothless parrot.
Trying to sleep is like pleasuring a woman
If you succeed in doing it, you won't remember how you succeeded the next time you try it.
If at first you don't succeed...
Try a grain.
If at first you don't succeed,
Then maybe Russian roulette isn't for you.
How does a bird eat without teeth?
They succeed
If at first you don't succeed
then seed sucking is not for you
What does patriots stand for
Pay
All
The
Refs
In
Order
To
Succeed
My dad taught me that money and fame will come only if I succeed
Anybody knows who seed is?
If at first you don't succeed
Don't try skydiving
If you don't succeed the first time...
...maybe parachuting isn't for you
Try and try again until you succeed
Common policy followed in most stabbing
if at first you don't succeed,
then skydiving is *probably* not the sport for you
I quit my career as a professional poker player, and I decided to open a grocery store.
For the first couple weeks, I didn't earn much money. Then, I decided to rearrange the meat and the snacks in my store. I started earning lots of money. I knew that I would succeed when the chips were down and the steaks were high.
If at first you don't succeed
Then suck another seed.
If at first you don't succeed
perhaps Russian roulette isn't for you
The sign on the door read To succeed, please enter .
I walked in to find a naked man.
Hello, I'm Ceed! He said.
If at first you dont succeed.....
skydiving is not made for you.
If at first you don't succeed...
Mutate into the next letter of the Greek alphabet and try again.
Surgeon: "don't worry, Micheal. This is but a small surgery"
Patient: "my name is not Micheal. It's Dan".
Surgeon: "I know. My name is Micheal".
*after 500 surgeries.
Patient: "Doctor, I'm really worried. This is my first surgery".
Surgeon Micheal: "Don't worry. This is my 500th surgery".
Patient: "thanks Doctor. Now I know I'm in good hands".
Doctor Micheal:" yeah, this time it ought to succeed".
If at first you don't succeed..
your skydiving days are over.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the succeed successfull jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working succeed corpse piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.