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Succeed Jokes

71 succeed jokes and hilarious succeed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about succeed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Succeed Short Jokes

Short succeed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The succeed humour may include short success jokes also.

  1. Another blonde joke A professor told his class:
    "Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"
    A blonde asked, "Who is 'seed'?"
  2. ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
  3. A blonde joke A professor is teaching his class and gets philosophical.
    "Fame will come to you only if you succeed "
    The blonde asks, " Who is Seed?"
  4. A Guy witnessed a man try to shank someone, but the man messed up and ran away. That same guy saw the same man try to shank someone again, but this time the man succeeded. He Saw Shank Redemption
  5. A Burglar got into the house of a Lawyer the other day... After a terrible struggle, the Lawyer succeeded in robbing him.
  6. Democracy obviously doesn't work. I mean, I was voted "most likely to succeed" at High School.
  7. What does patriots stand for Pay
    All
    The
    Refs
    In
    Order
    To
    Succeed
  8. If at first you don't succeed.. your skydiving days are over.
  9. If at first you don't succeed... Mutate into the next letter of the Greek alphabet and try again.
  10. Try and try again until you succeed Common policy followed in most stabbing

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Succeed One Liners

Which succeed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with succeed? I can suggest the ones about achieve and survive.

  1. CIA finally succeeded in killing Fidel Castro Using the innovative 'Old age' technique
  2. If at first you don't succeed.. Then that's it for skydiving.
  3. if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is *probably* not the sport for you
  4. I was voted Least likely to succeed by my High School class. I hate my teaching job.
  5. If at first you don't succeed, Then maybe Russian roulette isn't for you.
  6. If at first you don't succeed we have a lot in common.
  7. If at first you don't succeed... ... then bomb disposal probably isn't the career for you
  8. If at first you don't succeed perhaps Russian roulette isn't for you
  9. If at first you don't succeed Then skidiving isn't for you
  10. If at first you dont succeed..... skydiving is not made for you.
  11. You know what they say? If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.
  12. Someone once told me, GO FOR BROKE! I'm unhappy to report that I succeeded.
  13. What succeeds? A toothless parrot.
  14. A man enters zoo enclosure to feed the tigers. succeeds
  15. If you don't succeed the first time... ...maybe parachuting isn't for you

Succeed joke, If you don't succeed the first time...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about succeed can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of succeed puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uproarious Succeed Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about succeed you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean achieve goal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make succeed prank.

This Joke Is A Real Lemon

A barman was very proud of the fact that he could squeeze a lemon so that no more juice would come out of it He made a standing offer of $1000 to anyone who could get more juice out of a lemon after he'd squeezed it. Every night big, burly regulars at the bar attempted to get more juice from a lemon he'd squeezed, but no one could produce so much as a drop. But one night, a little bloke walked in and said he'd heard of the standing offer and would like to try. The barman said 'How do you think you could succeed when all these blokes have failed?' And the little guy said: 'Just give me a chance and I'll show you'.
So the barman, thinking his regulars would enjoy the joke, picked up a lemon and squeezed it. After squeezing all the juice he could out of it, he handed the dried ring to the little bloke and said: 'Here you go.' The little bloke took the lemon and squeezed it and managed to get one, two, three for fix, SIX more drops of juice. Amazed, the barman said: 'Well, here's your $1000. But what do you do for a living? Are you a professional bodybuilder or what?' And the little bloke said: 'No, I work for the Tax Department.'

In high school, I bet Kim Jong Un was voted "Most Likely to Succeed"

LPT: Be thorough with everything you do and you'll struggle not to succeed!

A man is about to have surgery...

The surgeon says : Don't worry I've done this operation hundreds of times.
The man responds: That's sounds reassuring.
The surgeon then says: Yeah, I have to succeed someday.

Prostitutes are really over achievers...

I mean all they do is succeed.

If at first you don't succeed

try try a gun

I've succeeded in my new year resolution

Last year I felt miserable and poor, and my resolution was to turn it around. Now I feel poor and miserable.

Born to succeed

What was born to succeed?
A budgie with a blunt beak.

The Apple Car will never succeed.

It doesn't have windows.

Did the depressed rope maker succeed?

Sadly, he did knot.

Why was the gay man ambitious?

Because all he wanted to do was *SUCCEED*.

I tried to make a popsicle out of frozen s**....

I didn't succeed

You might as well shoot for the stars because...

Best case scenario you succeed and are immediately vaporized into nothing. Worst case scenario you miss and fade into the endless void of nothing.

Terrible advice for a s**... survival hotline:

If at first you don't succeed...

If at first you don't succeed...

Find a bigger hammer.

Cow tipping.

If you succeed in tipping a cow only part way, such that only one of its feet is till on the ground, you have created lean beef. Such a feat is well done. Naturally, being outside, the cow is unstable. When it falls over, it becomes ground beef.

A professor once told his class...

A professor once told his class:
For one to have a good life, they must succeed.
Mary, the only blond in the class replies:
Who's seed?

Life is like s**......

If you're going to succeed, things are going to be hard.

"At first if you don't succeed, try, try again"

- Harvey Weinstein

My motto is "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

They don't let me volunteer for the s**... prevention hotline anymore.

I was voted most likely to succeed in high school

Oh really, I was voted most likely to rig a school election

My father always told me son if you want to succeed in life never take no for an answer

Terrible father, great r**...

The Time Traveler's Motto

If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

Great Moments in Lawyering

"Have you ever attempted s**...?"
"Yes, on multiple occasions."
"Did you ever succeed?"

Trying to sleep is like pleasuring a woman

If you succeed in doing it, you won't remember how you succeeded the next time you try it.

If at first you don't succeed...

Try a grain.

Did you hear about when North Texas wanted to succeed from the rest of the state?

They went though a rough patch, and it was pretty scary for a while, but they're OK now.

How does a bird eat without teeth?

They succeed

If at first you don't succeed

then seed s**... is not for you

I wanted to write a letter to the Governor . . .

opposing a bill being considered in the Virginia legislature. But with Gov Northram's facing a chorus of demands for his resignation because of his blackface photo, and the next two officials in line to succeed him embroiled in their own controversies, I wasn't sure to whom I should send my letter.
I finally decided the safest choice was to mail it to the Governor's Mansion, "Current occupant."

My dad taught me that money and fame will come only if I succeed

Anybody knows who seed is?

If at first you don't succeed

Don't try skydiving

What are two things every doctor needs to succeed?

Patients and patience.

I quit my career as a professional poker player, and I decided to open a grocery store.

For the first couple weeks, I didn't earn much money. Then, I decided to rearrange the meat and the snacks in my store. I started earning lots of money. I knew that I would succeed when the chips were down and the steaks were high.

If at first you don't succeed

Then s**... another seed.

The sign on the door read To succeed, please enter .

I walked in to find a n**... man.
Hello, I'm Ceed! He said.

Surgeon: "don't worry, Micheal. This is but a small surgery"

Patient: "my name is not Micheal. It's Dan".
Surgeon: "I know. My name is Micheal".
*after 500 surgeries.
Patient: "Doctor, I'm really worried. This is my first surgery".
Surgeon Micheal: "Don't worry. This is my 500th surgery".
Patient: "thanks Doctor. Now I know I'm in good hands".
Doctor Micheal:" yeah, this time it ought to succeed".

Succeed joke, I was voted  Least likely to succeed  by my High School class.

jokes about succeed

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these succeed jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.