The Best 22 Substitute Teacher Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Substitute Teacher jokes. There are some substitute teacher esl jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these substitute teacher math teacher puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Substitute Teacher Jokes and Puns

I went to my school reunion last weekend and the main topic of conversation was still about the stunning substitute teacher…

…we had one day, in the early eighties, who gave a boy a blow job in front of the entire class.

She went down in history.

What's Admiral Akbar's Favorite Shape? It's a Trapezoid!

I apologize if this has been posted before. It came to me sitting in a first grade class today (I'm a substitute teacher, not a 7 year old).

A boy walks in late to class.

That day they have a substitute. She asks the boy "Where have you been, and why are you late?"
He says: "Sorry I was on Blueberry Hill."
and takes his seat. About 5 min later another boy comes in late.
The substitute asks " Where have you been, and why are you late?"
He says: "Sorry, I was on Blueberry Hill."
and takes his seat.
This happens 2 more times.
About 5 min after the last boy a girl walks in.
The teacher says" let me guess you were on Blueberry Hill!?"
The girls says" No,.... I am Blueberry Hill!"

TIFU by walking into the class of the wrong substitute teacher

Whoops, wrong sub.

A joke from a substitute German teacher (who was later fired)

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy?

-Refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out of it.

A substitute teacher enters the class and asks:

"What do we call it when a muscle moves in our body involuntarily?"

No answer comes from the students. After waiting for a while the teacher decides to move on with another topic, but he sees a reluctant hand rising from the back row. The teacher tells him to answer. The kid replies:

"A tick, sir"

"Very good, son! What is your name?"


Reddit was planning to promote some food subreddits on the featured page.

One of the featured subreddits was supposed to be about chocolate fountains, but there was a big controversy, and they decided to find a replacement. A former substitute teacher who was fired from her job had started a subreddit about bar food.

The mods selected it as a replacement. The subpar sub's pub sub sub subbed superbly.

A Short One

My friend got suspended from Home Ec the other day.

The teacher asked him what a good substitute for a pot holder would be. He thought for a few seconds and said "Well if I lost my jar I would just grab a bag."

TIFU by sending a substitute math teacher to a geography classroom.

Whoops, wrong sub!

Zoology teacher was asked to substitute history teacher's class since he was on leave..

And so he did..

Describe Shahajahan's wife Mumtaz with a neat diagram and label the parts

If European in the bathroom, what are you before you get there?


(A substitute teacher told this in my class today)

You can explore substitute teacher teaching reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean substitute teacher curriculum dad jokes. There are also substitute teacher puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My sushi preparation class had a kleptomanniac as a substitute teacher

She took roll

My substitute teacher gave off fishy vibes.

One describes it as temp-aura.

IAmA teacher, and the other day I messed up by hiring the wrong substitute for my history class.

Whoops, wrong sub.

One morning a boy walks in to class late

His substitute teacher asks him "Where have you been"

He replies "Throwing pebbles at a car"

15 minutes later a girl walks in the teacher asks 'where have you been' she answers "throwing pebbles at a car"

2 hours later a young girl comes in all bruised and dirty the teacher asks "Let me guess you were throwing pebbles at a car" she answers "No miss, I am pebbles"

One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand.

The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. "But Miss, I am bursting to go," said Jimmy. "You may go, but after you say the full alphabet." "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z," he said. Catching his mistake, the substitute asked, "Jimmy, where is the 'P?'" He answered, "Halfway down my legs, Miss."

What do you call a part time teacher that likes beans?

A substitute.

One of my students told me this today, and it made me chuckle.

What did the HS principal say when he accidentally got a math substitute to fill in for a chemistry teacher?

Whoops, wrong sub.

If you teach a Pokemon substitute..

Does that mean you're a substitute teacher?

TIFU by thinking I was a funny class clown and shooting a spitball at the substitute teacher.

whoops wrong sub!

My substitute teacher had diarrhea...

She couldn't control her Pewp Hole.

TIFU by calling my substitute teacher by my regular teacher's name.

oops, wrong, sub

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the substitute teacher public schools jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working substitute teacher teachers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes