Substitute Teacher Jokes
39 substitute teacher jokes and hilarious substitute teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about substitute teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Substitute Teacher Short Jokes
Short substitute teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The substitute teacher humour may include short substitute jokes also.
- What's Admiral Akbar's Favorite Shape? It's a Trapezoid! I apologize if this has been posted before. It came to me sitting in a first grade class today (I'm a substitute teacher, not a 7 year old).
- Zoology teacher was asked to substitute history teacher's class since he was on leave.. And so he did..
Describe Shahajahan's wife Mumtaz with a neat diagram and label the parts - If European in the bathroom, what are you before you get there? Russian
(A substitute teacher told this in my class today) - IAmA teacher, and the other day I messed up by hiring the wrong substitute for my history class. Whoops, wrong sub.
- What do you call a part time teacher that likes beans? A substitute.
One of my students told me this today, and it made me chuckle. - What did the HS principal say when he accidentally got a math substitute to fill in for a chemistry teacher? Whoops, wrong sub.
- TIFU by thinking I was a funny class clown and shooting a spitball at the substitute teacher. whoops wrong sub!
- ELI5: What happens if 2 substitute teachers mix up and go to eachother's class? Whoops wrong sub
- A joke from a substitute German teacher (who was later fired) What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy?
-Refrigerator doesn't f**... when you take the meat out of it.
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Substitute Teacher One Liners
Which substitute teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with substitute teacher? I can suggest the ones about student teacher and school teacher.
- TIFU by walking into the class of the wrong substitute teacher Whoops, wrong sub.
- TIFU by sending a substitute math teacher to a geography classroom. Whoops, wrong sub!
- If you teach a Pokemon substitute.. Does that mean you're a substitute teacher?
- My sushi preparation class had a kleptomanniac as a substitute teacher She took roll
- My substitute teacher gave off fishy vibes. One describes it as temp-aura.
- My substitute teacher had diarrhea... She couldn't control her Pewp Hole.
- TIFU by calling my substitute teacher by my regular teacher's name. oops, wrong, sub
- What do you call an Asian substitute teacher named Marie? The Yellow Sub Marie.
- TIFU by hooking up with my "female" substitute teacher. Whoops, wrong sub.
- TIFU when my HS friends and me tried to pull a prank on a substitute teacher wrong sub
Entertaining Substitute Teacher Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about substitute teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean new teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make substitute teacher pranks.
I went to my school reunion last weekend and the main topic of conversation was still about the stunning substitute teacher…
…we had one day, in the early eighties, who gave a boy a b**... in front of the entire class.
She went down in history.
A boy walks in late to class.
That day they have a substitute. She asks the boy "Where have you been, and why are you late?"
He says: "Sorry I was on Blueberry Hill."
and takes his seat. About 5 min later another boy comes in late.
The substitute asks " Where have you been, and why are you late?"
He says: "Sorry, I was on Blueberry Hill."
and takes his seat.
This happens 2 more times.
About 5 min after the last boy a girl walks in.
The teacher says" let me guess you were on Blueberry Hill!?"
The girls says" No,.... I am Blueberry Hill!"
Since it my cake day i tell one of my favorite joke
There was this substitute teacher how had just finished teaching the lesson and was busy getting everyone working and was down to just one student not working and he ask the student why he wasn't working, the student said tell me a joke and i will. And than the teacher waving his hands at the student says ta daaaa.
A substitute teacher enters the class and asks:
"What do we call it when a muscle moves in our body involuntarily?"
No answer comes from the students. After waiting for a while the teacher decides to move on with another topic, but he sees a reluctant hand rising from the back row. The teacher tells him to answer. The kid replies:
"A tick, sir"
"Very good, son! What is your name?"
"Tavit"
Reddit was planning to promote some food subreddits on the featured page.
One of the featured subreddits was supposed to be about chocolate fountains, but there was a big controversy, and they decided to find a replacement. A former substitute teacher who was fired from her job had started a subreddit about bar food.
The mods selected it as a replacement. The subpar sub's pub sub sub subbed superbly.
A Short One
My friend got suspended from Home Ec the other day.
The teacher asked him what a good substitute for a p**... holder would be. He thought for a few seconds and said "Well if I lost my jar I would just grab a bag."
One morning a boy walks in to class late
His substitute teacher asks him "Where have you been"
He replies "Throwing pebbles at a car"
15 minutes later a girl walks in the teacher asks 'where have you been' she answers "throwing pebbles at a car"
2 hours later a young girl comes in all bruised and dirty the teacher asks "Let me guess you were throwing pebbles at a car" she answers "No miss, I am pebbles"
One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand.
The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. "But Miss, I am bursting to go," said Jimmy. "You may go, but after you say the full alphabet." "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z," he said. Catching his mistake, the substitute asked, "Jimmy, where is the 'P?'" He answered, "Halfway down my legs, Miss."
I was at a gas station...
I was at a gas station filling up my car. Nearby I see a woman smoking a cigarette.
I tell her, You should stop that it's dangerous.
She ignores me and continues smoking.
A few seconds later her arm catches on fire and she starts waving its around trying to put it out.
I call 911 and a cop shows up and arrests her.
I ask the cop, Did you arrest her because she was smoking at a gas station?
He replies, No, it was because she was waving a firearm.
Credits to a substitute teacher for telling me this one
A boy gets caught cheating on a test by his substitute teacher
"you are getting a zero".
the kid looks and the sub and says "You do know who I am, don't you"
"no, and I don't care. anyone who I catch cheating gets a zero."
"A zero?" the boy says. "I can't believe you don't know who I am." the boy says with a superior sounding voice
"You can't give ME a zero."
"I'll give you a zero, I don't care who you are. you could be the president's nephew, but you still get zero" the teacher yells.
"so you DON'T know who I AM?" the kid asks again
"no!" the exasperated substitute yells
"good" the kid says, and slips his test into the middle of the stack and walks away.
Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy.
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter." The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy." A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is. Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter." "That's right!" she coaxed. Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. Crunt?"