Following is our collection of funny Submarine jokes. There are some submarine sunk jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these submarine navy submarine puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
It bit the head off a submarine and sucked all the seamen out...
A subwoofer.
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlight
Submarine screen door
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart board
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chair
Water proof tea bags
Zero proof alcohol
Reusable ice cubes
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
It's a subterfuge...
Suddenly Obama mentions; "You know, our Navy submarines can submerge for 4 weeks straight!"
Putin grins and says; "Well, our submarines can submerge for 6 weeks straight, they just have to surface for the food!"
Suddenly a Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells "SIEG HEIL! WE RAN OUT OF BENZIN!"
and its dream was to be a submarine.
Thor-Peado
Background: my dad was a biomed tech and did work for all branches throughout many areas.
One day, he's at a Navy submarine repair station. as him and his buddy are walking in, 2 Navy guys see em and say 'Air Force? what are you guys doing here? where are they going to put the landing strip?'
the other Navy guys says, 'fuck that, where are they going to put the golf course?'
Unfortunately, when I received my order I found out that my post would be a navigator on a Diesel-powered sub with no nuclear capability.
When I approached my command to complain, I was told that this happened all the time and would soon sort itself out - a moderator would soon move my post to the correct sub.
Whoops, wrong sub.
Oops, wrong sub.
You can explore submarine naval reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean submarine vortex dad jokes. There are also submarine puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A submarine.
Obama says "We have got great submarines, they can stay under water for 6 weeks". Putin replies "That's nothing, our submarines can stay under water for 10 weeks". Suddenly, a submarine emerges and a man sticks his head out and yells "Heil Hitler! Do you have diesel?"
Woops, wrong sub
Oops, wrong sub!
The Marine says to the General: "we have the greatest submarines on earth. We can last under water for several weeks."
The Russian interrupts:"no way our latest submarines last for 6 months without seeing any daylight."
The both stop talking as they are surprised by a submarine approaching the beach. A soldier jumps out raising his arm straight in the sky, yelling:"Hail Hitler we need Diesel!"
Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.
Oops, wrong sub.
Obama declares: Our submarines can stay submerged for ten days before needing air.
Putin promptly says: That's nothing. Russian submarines can stay submerged for up to a month.
Merkel is embarrassed and stays silent.
Suddenly a submarine emerges. The hatch opens and the man yells: Heil Hitler! Is the war over?
Oops, wrong sub
By how fast it sinks.
Oops, wrong sub.
The French general tells them their submarines can stay underwater for three days.
The British says theirs can stay submerged for 180 days
Suddenly a submarine comes up. A man comes out and shouts: "SIEG HEIL. Wir brauchen Sprit!"
The second cow says, "I don't care, I'm a submarine!".
All three are sitting at a resort by the seaside, and are arguing.
Obama begins by saying "American submarines are the best in the world, they can go for weeks without needing supplies!"
Putin laughs and tell them "Stupid globalists. Russian submarines are best in world, they go MONTHS without refueling."
Merkel opens her mouth to speak, when a submarine rises out of the water. A man opens the hatch and shouts "Heil Hitler! We need fuel!"
We think that's why his submarine sank.
Two italian soldiers are sitting on a beach in Normandy during WWII when a German submarine surfaces offshore. One Italian looks at the other and says, "Is thata UBoat?" The other Italian replies, "nope, not mine".
They're built with sub-standard materials.
A not see you boat.
โ Just a can of people.
It was under too much pressure.
A Sub-Marine!
*attempt at OC joke. I'm sure someone else has thought of this before me though.*
Because he said "Give me liberty or give me depth".
One of them says, this is the best joke ever: A bus driver drove into a nun and then starts laughing hysterically.
Confused, the other sailor asked, how is that even funny?
The other sailor says it's not, but on this sub it is
Nothing, now. They're both at the bottom of the ocean, full of seamen.
which is probably why his submarine sank.
Trump, Merkel and Putin are flying over the north sea with a helicopter. After a while Putin says "we have submarines that can stay under water for one week without refueling". Then trump says "That's nothing, our submarines can stay under water for a whole month without refueling!". Merkel can't think of anything and looks ashamed out the window. Suddenly a submarine surfaces in front of their eyes, a man steps out of it and raises his right arm and screams "HEIL HITLER WIR BRAUCHEN DIESEL!"
Nothing. The Navy goes down on both of them.
So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
That would've been sublime.
It's a pretty good ยต-boat.
A sub-woofer!
I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me.
Why shouldn't I tell my joke?" I asked.
"Err, this isn't the right sub."
I read a thriller in Braille.
You can really feel the suspense.
I'm reading a book about Anti-Gravity.
It's impossible to put down.
I read a book about submarine construction.
It's riveting.
I'm reading a book about adhesives.
It has me glued to my seat .
I read a book on suicide.
It had me on the edge of my building.
Feel free to insert more. :)
It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning's work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there's something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot sandwich.
He turns to his crew and asks if anyone snuck in to eat the sandwich. One by one, they all shake their heads and deny any wrongdoing. He's at a loss until one of his guys points out that the company had hired an electrician to do a bit of wiring that morning.
"Of course!" the boss exclaims, "he's the subcontractor!"
A submarine
then my coworker started trying to open the window. It must have been a really bad one โ we work on a submarine.
But submarine jokes are beneath me.
They tend to get a little slow if you open too many windows.
Whiskey on the Rocks
Putin, Biden and Merkel are sitting on a beach after a summit and argue who's country has the best engineers. Putin says: " We make submarine run underwater for 5 five years. No contact to surface." Biden says: "Thats nothing. Ours run for ten years without resurfacing." Merkel just smiles. In this moment a Uboat emerges from the depths and drives up to the beach. A hatch opens, and a man in uniform pops out. He looks at the three, raises an arm and shouts: " Heil Hitler! We need fuel!"
A sub-woofer!
A substitute
But I think this sub is doing even better!
A subwoofer (I'll see myself out)
...She's just got a thing for subs.
\- Why?
\- I Opened A Window.
\- Just Because Of That? Where Did You Work?
\- ...The Submarine
Whoops wrong sub
... when he sees a Buddhist monk fixing a fence.
"Hey mister, I'm having some trouble running my submarine. None of my crew like me. You're a wise man, what would you suggest?" asked the Captain.
"Make sure to switch everybody's positions very often" said the monk.
"Why?" said the Captain.
The monk replied "You'd be surprised at the amount of karma you get from reposting."
A Sub-Marine.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the submarine divert jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working submarine idc piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.