Subject Jokes

131 subject jokes and hilarious subject puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about subject that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy a collection of jokes and puns related to subject matters in English, Maths, History and more. Laugh out loud with jokes related to school subjects, subject matter expert, relevant philosophical matters and more. Discover the best English subject jokes and the funniest maths subject puns.

Funniest Subject Short Jokes

Short subject jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The subject humour may include short topic jokes also.

  1. Genders are like the twin Towers There used to be two of them and now its a really sensitive subject.
  2. My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?
    My wife: Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you.
  3. If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Sci Fi is Doctor Who. But if I'm being completely objective... I'd say it's Doctor Whom.
  4. A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?" The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."
  5. If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who. If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.
  6. A mugger holds a man at gunpoint and says, "Give me your wallet or you're science!" The man says, "Don't you mean history?"
    The mugger yells, "Don't try to change the subject!"
  7. Genders are like the twin tower There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject
  8. Gender is like the Twin Towers There used to be two, and now it's a really touchy subject to bring up
  9. Mugger: Give me all your stuff or you're science! Me: Don't you mean history?
    Mugger: Don't try to change the subject!
  10. If I was being subjective, I'd say the greatest science fiction show of all time was Doctor Who, but if I was being objective... I'd say it was Doctor Whom.

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Subject One Liners

Which subject one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with subject? I can suggest the ones about objective and matter.

  1. Genders are like the twin towers There used to be 2 of them but now it's a touchy subject
  2. Did you hear about the photographer who ran out of subjects? He shot himself.
  3. What was the seal's favorite subject in school? ART ART ART!
  4. What's a feminist's favorite subject? Triggernometry.
  5. Hey guys please don't make fun of braille. It's a very *touchy* subject
  6. What math subject are Feminists best at? Triggernometry.
  7. I don't like talking about my childhood as a church choir boy it is a touchy subject
  8. What is a feminists least favourite subject at school? Triggernometry.
  9. Whats a feminist's favorite subject in school? Trigonometry.
  10. He didn't avoid the subject of his erectile dysfunction, it just never came up.
  11. What is the owl's favorite school subject? Owlgebra
  12. you'd think a discussion about water would be boring but it's never a dry subject
  13. I feel like 2nd base is a really Touchy subject
  14. How do you feel if subjected to temperatures of absolute zero? 0K
  15. A subject and verb walk into a bar... They have a disagreement.
    They walks out.

School Subject Jokes

Here is a list of funny school subject jokes and even better school subject puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Arrrrrrrrt.
    What's a pirate's favorite body part?
    The arrrrrm.
    What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?
    No. The Navy you idiot.
  • I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups. Apparently, it's a very touchy subject.
  • What is a woman's favourite subject at school? History. They are great at bringing up stuff from the past.
  • Which school subject was the witch's favorite? Spelling!
  • Despite my excellence in all other school subjects, I always got bad grades in Greek history. It was my Achille's elbow
  • My least favorite subject in school was Ancient History. The teachers tended to Babylon
  • School should be like a woman's skirt... Long enough to cover the subject matter, short enough to keep things interesting
  • Did you know that a school of piranha can devour a whole 3-year old child in under 30 seconds? On another subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
  • What is a North Korean's favorite school subject? Kimistry
  • ELI5 What happens when a high school calls in a replacement teacher for a subject they know nothing about? Ooops... wrong sub.

History Subject Jokes

Here is a list of funny history subject jokes and even better history subject puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!" "You mean history."
    "Don't change the subject!"
  • I was being mugged the other day... The guy said, "Give me all your money or else you're biology!"
    I said, "Don't you mean history?"
    He told me "Don't change the subject!"
  • A man robs a bank. Robber: Give me all your money or you're geography!
    Employee: Don't you mean history?
    Robber: Don't change the subject...
  • I got mugged yesterday... The mugger said, Give me your money or you're science.
    I said, Don't you mean history?
    He said, Don't try and change the subject.
  • Columbus Day is a really sore subject for me. It's so hard for me to honor the holiday while ignoring one of the biggest crimes in human history... The introduction of Tobacco into western society.
  • Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
    A: Hissssstory.
  • A man is robbing a bank He says the teller,"give me all your money or your geography".
    The teller looks at him and says,"don't you mean history?"
    The robber replies,"don't try and change the subject
  • A bank robber is robbing a bank Robber: Put all the money in this bag or you're geography.
    Banker: Don't you mean 'history'?
    Robber: Don't change the subject!
Subject joke, A bank robber is robbing a bank

Maths Subject Jokes

Here is a list of funny maths subject jokes and even better maths subject puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • One of the kids I'm tutoring told me this joke today: What maths subject do fish study? Algaebra
  • I strongly dislike the subject of math However, I am partial to fractions.
  • Dracula Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math? Because he likes to Count.
  • I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject But I must say, it's pretty c**... of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.

English Subject Jokes

Here is a list of funny english subject jokes and even better english subject puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "A boy jumped through the window". What is the subject? English literature
  • Why was Fam's favorite subject English? Because it's Lit.

Subject Verb Agreement Jokes

Here is a list of funny subject verb agreement jokes and even better subject verb agreement puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Breaking: Betsy DeVos has cancelled.... the subject-verb agreement.
Subject joke, Breaking: Betsy DeVos has cancelled....

Hilarious Subject Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about subject you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean material jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make subject pranks.

Lover's Lane

A cop comes upon a car parked late one night on Lover's Lane. Upon further investigation he finds a male subject reading a book in the front seat and a female subject filing her nails in the back seat.
The cop asks the guy, "What are you doing up here?"
"I'm reading a book sir."
"Uh-huh. And what's she doing?" the cop inquires, motioning toward the back seat.
"Well clearly, sir, she is filing her nails."
With a puzzled look on his face, the cop says, "In the 13 years I've been a cop I've never seen anything like this on Lover's Lane. How old are you son?"
"I'm 20."
"And how old is she?"
The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in about 15 minutes she'll be 18."

Dramatic performance

I once had a dramatic performance on the subject of puns, but then I realized it was just a play on words.

Math in the real world

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."


A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their d**...?"
"Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"

So broccoli was having a conversation with some of his friends...

The broccoli said: "I look like a tree!"
The mushroom said: "I look like an umbrella!"
The walnut said: "I look like a brain!"
The banana said: "Can we please change the subject?"

Regarding the m**... jokes. A lot you guys may not know this, but m**......

Is a very touchy subject.
I'm sorry. Did that joke rub you the wrong way?

A man goes into a bank...

...and proceeds to walk up to the nearest bank teller and pulls out a gun:
"Make one wrong move and you're geography!"
"Don't you mean history?" asks the teller
"Don't change the subject!"

So a guy walks into a bank with a gun and walks up to the teller...

Bank Robber: Put all your money in this bag or you're geography!
Bank Teller: Don't you mean history?
Bank Robber: Hey! Don't try to change the subject!

Bank robber pulls out gun, points it at the teller...

Robber: "Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!'
Cashier (puzzled) "Did you mean to say "or you're history?"
Robber: "Don't change the subject."

I don't like to talk about m**....

It's a touchy subject for me.

I asked my professor how long my paper should be. He said it should be like a woman's skirt...

Long enough to cover the subject but short enough to be interesting.

So the Pope visits Queen Elizabeth II...

... and she says : "Watch, Francis! With a wave of my hand, I can make every loyal subject go completely hysterical!" So she waves at the crowd and every loyal subject goes completely a**.... So Francis tells her : "Well, Elizabeth, with a wave of my hand, I can give every Scotsman and Irishman eternal joy!" And she replies : "I'd like to see that!" .... So he slaps her.

How do you feel about s**...?

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

'How do you feel about s**...?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'

So this doctor walks into a bar and he orders a beer...

**Feminist:** Why isn't the doctor a woman? Does it have to be a man? You know women can be doctors too!
**Me:** Okay, this FEMALE doctor orders a beer-
**Feminist:** Why is she drinking a beer in a bar? She's obviously an intelligent woman for being a doctor, why would she subject herself to such a male environment?
**Me:** Okay, she's not in a bar, she's um, at a… baseball game, and she orders a beer from one of the stands-
**Feminist:** Why would a strong independent intelligent woman doctor be supporting a male dominated sport?!!!!!! That's so oppressive! The men will look at her so demeaningly with no respect for what she has achieved!
**Me:** … Okay fine, I just won't tell the joke then.
**Feminist:** If you seriously can't tell a joke without being sexist then you're not actually funny at all. I bet the original male doctor was White too, you racist.

What subject did Dracula major in during college?

This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.

A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"

"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their p**...?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"

A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.

"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"
The teller said "Don't you mean history?"
The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"

Making jokes about r**... is hard...

because it's such a touchy subject and you always have to force it

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book about autofellatio

"Well," says the librarian "We actually do have a book on that subject. It's that one over there, with the broken spine."

When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a t**... subject...

These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.

Oscar Wilde once boasted that he could make a pun on any subject...

Someone called out "The Queen!"
"Ah", replied Wilde, "but the Queen is not a subject."

An English class is writing an essay

One of the students asks how long the essay should be.
The teacher responds, "Like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep me interested".

I was talking to my friend over the weekend, when he brought up the subject of hobbies....

He asked, "What do you do in your free time".
To which I responded, "I stalk people".
"Oh", he exclaimed, "Really? I enjoy walks in the park or going to movies with friends".
"I know"

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.

Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a w**...."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

When I heard my new job required passing a drug test.....

Boy was I excited. Finally a test in a subject I know about!

Talking about Genders is a lot like the World Trade centers.

There were 2 of them now it's a sensitive subject.

What is s**...?

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's s**...?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"

What are the similarities between the Twin Towers and Genders?

There used to only be two, now it's a really touchy subject

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a t**... subject.

Now when you talk about botox no one raises an eyebrow

Joke rules for my house:

First of all, most all jokes are acceptable in this house.. except abortion jokes. Because jokes are all about the delivery...
Absolutely no p**... jokes. Period. No s**... assault jokes.. thats a touchy subject. Dead baby jokes on the other hand.. never get old!

Remeber when plastic surgery was a t**... subject?

Now you mention botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

A guy storms into a bank, pulls out his gun, points it at a teller and hollers, Give me all your money or you're geography! Trembling, the teller stammers, D...d...don't m...m...mean h...h...history?

The robber screams, Don't change the subject!

Blonde Joke

Three pregnant women were having brunch together, discussing pregnancy matter, and the subject of the baby's gender came up.
Brunette: My baby's going to be a boy because when my husband and I conceived, I was on top.
Redhead: My baby is going to be a girl because I was on the bottom.
Blonde (bursting into tears): "My baby's going to be a puppy."

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a sensitive subject.

But now when you make jokes about botox, nobody lifts an eyebrow.

I asked my father what it was like learning Braille, but he didn't want to tell me.

I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject.

Plastic surgery used to be such a t**... subject...

Nowadays if you talk about Botox nobody raises an eyebrow.

I asked my dad why he never makes any jokes and why he always change subject

"What are you talking about? I've made two jokes... By the way where's your brother?"

My dad once told me that essays are like bikinis ...

Big enough to cover the subject, but small enough to keep it interesting.

I bought my wife a stripper pole for our anniversary and installed it in our bedroom.

Whenever I ask her if she likes it, she just dances around the subject.

A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

He finished it, and the bartender asks if he wants another one. The horse replies I think not and disappears.
This joke is normally told with Rene Descartes as the subject, but to tell you that one first is to put Descartes before the horse.

Your essays should be like a girls skirt

Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting and on the desk by Friday midnight.

Did you know that a piranha can eat a child in 40 seconds?

Anyway, changing the subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today

If I was being subjective, I would have to say that the greatest sci-fi show of all time is Dr. Who.

If I was being objective, I would say it's Dr. Whom.

Plastic surgery used to be a t**... subject

Now if you mention Botox, no one even raises an eyebrow

An elephant is standing on a street corner with an e**....

His thing is HUGE, hangs all the way to the ground.
At that moment a mother is taking her son to school and the son looks at the elephant and says "Mommy what is that?"
Mom: "Oh that's the trunk honey"
Kid: "No mom, further back between the legs"
Mom: "Oh that? That's nothing...." and awkwardly changes the subject.
The next day, same elephant in the same condition is on the corner only this time the dad is taking the kid to school.
Kid: "Hey dad, what is that? It's not the the trunk and it's not the legs, it's in between the legs. Mommy says that's nothing."
The dad thinks for a second and then laughs, "Yeah well, mommy is spoiled."

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt;

long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

I remember when plastic surgery was a bit of a t**... subject..

..but nowadays when you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.

s**... harassment should not be joked about

It's a very touchy subject to some people

3 farmers.

3 farmers were sitting at the local cafe drinking coffee. The subject of the lottery and what they would do if they won came up.
"I think I would take some time off and go on a cruise. I've always wanted to go on a cruise." Said the first farmer.
"First thing I would do is buy a fancy sports car. I've always wanted a fast car." said the second farmer.
The third farmer was sitting quietly, fidgeting a little. "Come on, what would you do with your millions?" Asked the other two farmers.
Reluctantly the third farmer answered "I reckon I would just go on farming like I have been until the money runs out"

People at my work are subject to quantum effects

They behave differently if a superviser is observing.

A good conversation is like a miniskirt…

Short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.

I started a 100 subject survey on what shampoo women use...

Only got to the 3rd shower before the police arrested me unfortunately

A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career

He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.
In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job security.
"I'm as surprised as you are," wrote the vampire. "It was not a job I could see myself doing."


I over head these two guys in a bar one night, in their 30's, discussing the subject of Circumcision.
o**... was dead set on getting it done , since his parents didn't have that done for him.
I couldn't help but to get in that convo.
I said,
"I would recommend against it!"

He asked why.

I said,
"I had it done when I was first born and I couldn't walk for over a year!"

I don't like discussing sunglasses with other people....

I find it to be a very polarizing subject

Subject joke, I don't like discussing sunglasses with other people....

jokes about subject