subject Jokes

funny subject pick up lines and hilarious subject puns

Genders are like the Twin Towers

There used to be two of them and now its a really sensitive subject.

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Genders are like the twin towers

There used to be 2 of them but now it's a touchy subject

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So the Pope visits Queen Elizabeth II...

... and she says : "Watch, Francis! With a wave of my hand, I can make every loyal subject go completely hysterical!" So she waves at the crowd and every loyal subject goes completely apeshit. So Francis tells her : "Well, Elizabeth, with a wave of my hand, I can give every Scotsman and Irishman eternal joy!" And she replies : "I'd like to see that!" .... So he slaps her.

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Bank robber pulls out gun, points it at the teller...

Robber: "Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!'

Cashier (puzzled) "Did you mean to say "or you're history?"

Robber: "Don't change the subject."

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If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Sci Fi is Doctor Who. But if I'm being completely objective...

I'd say it's Doctor Whom.

^*

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A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?"

The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."

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I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject

But I must say, it's pretty cocky of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.

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When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject...

These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.

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A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"

"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter.

"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"

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A mugger holds a man at gunpoint and says, "Give me your wallet or you're science!"

The man says, "Don't you mean history?"

The mugger yells, "Don't try to change the subject!"

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What does your ass hole do when you orgasm? (NSFW)

A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "He's probably down at the bar with his friends."

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Sex & Golf

Professor was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.

This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies.'

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Gender is like the Twin Towers

There used to be two, and now it's a really touchy subject to bring up

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Mugger: Give me all your stuff or you're science!

Me: Don't you mean history?

Mugger: Don't try to change the subject!

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NSFW She's Probably Right

A professor at the University of Oklahoma was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

Her answer: "He's probably at the shooting range with his buddies."

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If I was being subjective, I'd say the greatest science fiction show of all time was Doctor Who, but if I was being objective...

I'd say it was Doctor Whom.

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A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"

"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"

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Talking about Genders is a lot like the World Trade centers.

There were 2 of them now it's a sensitive subject.

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Birth

A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?"

"Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"

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What is SEX?

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"

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I asked my father what it was like learning Braille, but he didn't want to tell me.

I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject.

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Remeber when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?

Now you mention botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

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What was the seal's favorite subject in school?

ART ART ART!

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A young blonde comes home from school

A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"

"Yes, dear," replied her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.

"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"

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I asked my professor how long my paper should be. He said it should be like a woman's skirt...

Long enough to cover the subject but short enough to be interesting.

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A guy storms into a bank, pulls out his gun, points it at a teller and hollers, Give me all your money or you're geography! Trembling, the teller stammers, D...d...don't y...y...you m...m...mean h...h...history?

The robber screams, Don't change the subject!

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A man goes into a bank...

...and proceeds to walk up to the nearest bank teller and pulls out a gun:

"Make one wrong move and you're geography!"

"Don't you mean history?" asks the teller

"Don't change the subject!"

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Genders are like the twin towers

There used to be 2, but now it's a sensitive subject.

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So a guy walks into a bank with a gun and walks up to the teller...

Bank Robber: Put all your money in this bag or you're geography!
Bank Teller: Don't you mean history?
Bank Robber: Hey! Don't try to change the subject!

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A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.

Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."


The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.


Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

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What's a feminist's favorite subject?

Triggernometry.

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My dad once told me that essays are like bikinis ...

Big enough to cover the subject, but small enough to keep it interesting.

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A guy runs into a bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and shouts, Give me all your money or you're geography!" Puzzled, the teller replies, Don't you mean history?

The robber screams, Don't change the subject!"

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An English class is writing an essay

One of the students asks how long the essay should be.
The teacher responds, "Like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep me interested".

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A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.

"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"

The teller said "Don't you mean history?"

The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"

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What are the best Subject puns ?

Did you ever wanted to be joking with someone about Subject? Well, here are the best Subject dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Subject pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes