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Subject Jokes

123 subject jokes and hilarious subject puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about subject that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy a collection of jokes and puns related to subject matters in English, Maths, History and more. Laugh out loud with jokes related to school subjects, subject matter expert, relevant philosophical matters and more. Discover the best English subject jokes and the funniest maths subject puns.

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Funniest Subject Short Jokes

Short subject jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The subject humour may include short topic jokes also.

  1. Genders are like the twin Towers There used to be two of them and now its a really sensitive subject.
  2. My wife: You need to do more chores around the house. Me: Can we change the subject?
    My wife: Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you.
  3. If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Sci Fi is Doctor Who. But if I'm being completely objective... I'd say it's Doctor Whom.
    ^*
  4. A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?" The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."
  5. If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who. If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.
  6. A mugger holds a man at gunpoint and says, "Give me your wallet or you're science!" The man says, "Don't you mean history?"
    The mugger yells, "Don't try to change the subject!"
  7. I asked my father what it was like learning Braille, but he didn't want to tell me. I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject.
  8. A photographer was killed on the job. His photography subjects tried to warn him but apparently a giant wheel of coagulated milk crushed him.
  9. My dad once told me that essays are like bikinis ... Big enough to cover the subject, but small enough to keep it interesting.
  10. I bought my wife a stripper pole for our anniversary and installed it in our bedroom. Whenever I ask her if she likes it, she just dances around the subject.

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Subject One Liners

Which subject one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with subject? I can suggest the ones about objective and material.

  1. Genders are like the twin towers There used to be 2 of them but now it's a touchy subject
  2. Did you hear about the photographer who ran out of subjects? He shot himself.
  3. What was the seal's favorite subject in school? ART ART ART!
  4. What's a feminist's favorite subject? Triggernometry.
  5. Hey guys please don't make fun of braille. It's a very *touchy* subject
  6. I don't like talking about my childhood as a church choir boy it is a touchy subject
  7. He didn't avoid the subject of his erectile dysfunction, it just never came up.
  8. What is the owl's favorite school subject? Owlgebra
  9. you'd think a discussion about water would be boring but it's never a dry subject
  10. I feel like 2nd base is a really Touchy subject
  11. How do you feel if subjected to temperatures of absolute zero? 0K
  12. A subject and verb walk into a bar... They have a disagreement.
    They walks out.
  13. Circumcision is a sensitive subject... ...but not as sensitive as it used to be.
  14. Which school subject was the witch's favorite? Spelling!
  15. At the laboratory, what did they name their first experimental subject? Lab rat Tory

School Subject Jokes

Here is a list of funny school subject jokes and even better school subject puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups. Apparently, it's a very touchy subject.
  • What is a woman's favourite subject at school? History. They are great at bringing up stuff from the past.
  • Despite my excellence in all other school subjects, I always got bad grades in Greek history. It was my Achille's elbow
  • My least favorite subject in school was Ancient History. The teachers tended to Babylon
  • School should be like a woman's skirt... Long enough to cover the subject matter, short enough to keep things interesting
  • ELI5 What happens when a high school calls in a replacement teacher for a subject they know nothing about? Ooops... wrong sub.
  • What is a chicken's favorite subject in school? Eggonomics!
  • Dracula Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math? Because he likes to Count.
  • What is a runner's favourite subject in school? Jog-raphy!
  • What's a librarians favourite subject at school? Scilence

History Subject Jokes

Here is a list of funny history subject jokes and even better history subject puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was being mugged the other day... The guy said, "Give me all your money or else you're biology!"
    I said, "Don't you mean history?"
    He told me "Don't change the subject!"
  • Columbus Day is a really sore subject for me. It's so hard for me to honor the holiday while ignoring one of the biggest crimes in human history... The introduction of Tobacco into western society.
  • A bank robber is robbing a bank Robber: Put all the money in this bag or you're geography.
    Banker: Don't you mean 'history'?
    Robber: Don't change the subject!

Maths Subject Jokes

Here is a list of funny maths subject jokes and even better maths subject puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • One of the kids I'm tutoring told me this joke today: What maths subject do fish study? Algaebra
  • I strongly dislike the subject of math However, I am partial to fractions.

English Subject Jokes

Here is a list of funny english subject jokes and even better english subject puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "A boy jumped through the window". What is the subject? English literature
  • Why was Fam's favorite subject English? Because it's Lit.

Subject Verb Agreement Jokes

Here is a list of funny subject verb agreement jokes and even better subject verb agreement puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Breaking: Betsy DeVos has cancelled.... the subject-verb agreement.
Subject joke, Breaking: Betsy DeVos has cancelled....

Hilarious Subject Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about subject you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean aspect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make subject pranks.

Lover's Lane

A cop comes upon a car parked late one night on Lover's Lane. Upon further investigation he finds a male subject reading a book in the front seat and a female subject filing her nails in the back seat.
The cop asks the guy, "What are you doing up here?"
"I'm reading a book sir."
"Uh-huh. And what's she doing?" the cop inquires, motioning toward the back seat.
"Well clearly, sir, she is filing her nails."
With a puzzled look on his face, the cop says, "In the 13 years I've been a cop I've never seen anything like this on Lover's Lane. How old are you son?"
"I'm 20."
"And how old is she?"
The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in about 15 minutes she'll be 18."

On the subject of Macs and viruses...

I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.
I was against it and an argument started.
I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.
He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"
And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."

Dramatic performance

I once had a dramatic performance on the subject of puns, but then I realized it was just a play on words.

Anyone know a good joke about cigarettes and ethics?

I'm doing a presentation about the subject and I would love to throw in some humor, but I can't think of anything that is quick and simple. Any jokes you can loan me? =P
Thanks for reading/posting.

Math in the real world

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."

A photographer shot his subject with a Canon.

She was blown away.

So broccoli was having a conversation with some of his friends...

The broccoli said: "I look like a tree!"
The mushroom said: "I look like an umbrella!"
The walnut said: "I look like a brain!"
The banana said: "Can we please change the subject?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Regarding the m**... jokes. A lot you guys may not know this, but m**......

Is a very touchy subject.
I'm sorry. Did that joke rub you the wrong way?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

h**...

are a touchy subject.

So a guy walks into a bank with a gun and walks up to the teller...

Bank Robber: Put all your money in this bag or you're geography!
Bank Teller: Don't you mean history?
Bank Robber: Hey! Don't try to change the subject!

Bank robber pulls out gun, points it at the teller...

Robber: "Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!'
Cashier (puzzled) "Did you mean to say "or you're history?"
Robber: "Don't change the subject."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Before I begin today's lecture

I'd like to relay an anecdote from my days as a student. My classmate and I both loved the same girl. In the end, she chose him and I was left with heartbreak. But my classmate was left with heart failure. Which brings me to today's subject: s**... and its complications.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

So the Pope visits Queen Elizabeth II...

... and she says : "Watch, Francis! With a wave of my hand, I can make every loyal subject go completely hysterical!" So she waves at the crowd and every loyal subject goes completely a**.... So Francis tells her : "Well, Elizabeth, with a wave of my hand, I can give every Scotsman and Irishman eternal joy!" And she replies : "I'd like to see that!" .... So he slaps her.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How do you feel about s**...?

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

'How do you feel about s**...?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

So this doctor walks into a bar and he orders a beer...

**Feminist:** Why isn't the doctor a woman? Does it have to be a man? You know women can be doctors too!
**Me:** Okay, this FEMALE doctor orders a beer-
**Feminist:** Why is she drinking a beer in a bar? She's obviously an intelligent woman for being a doctor, why would she subject herself to such a male environment?
**Me:** Okay, she's not in a bar, she's um, at a… baseball game, and she orders a beer from one of the stands-
**Feminist:** Why would a strong independent intelligent woman doctor be supporting a male dominated sport?!!!!!! That's so oppressive! The men will look at her so demeaningly with no respect for what she has achieved!
**Me:** … Okay fine, I just won't tell the joke then.
**Feminist:** If you seriously can't tell a joke without being sexist then you're not actually funny at all. I bet the original male doctor was White too, you racist.

You know, Nikola Tesla was famous for changing his mind.

In fact, when his colleagues would ask his opinion on a subject he would often just reply, "Oh, I don't know. My thoughts on the matter are alternating currently."

What subject did Dracula major in during college?

AcCOUNTing
This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"

"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their p**...?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"

A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.

"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"
The teller said "Don't you mean history?"
The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why don't people like talking about h**...?

It's a sore subject.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Making jokes about r**... is hard...

because it's such a touchy subject and you always have to force it

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book about autofellatio

"Well," says the librarian "We actually do have a book on that subject. It's that one over there, with the broken spine."

Oscar Wilde once boasted that he could make a pun on any subject...

Someone called out "The Queen!"
"Ah", replied Wilde, "but the Queen is not a subject."

I was talking to my friend over the weekend, when he brought up the subject of hobbies....

He asked, "What do you do in your free time".
To which I responded, "I stalk people".
"Oh", he exclaimed, "Really? I enjoy walks in the park or going to movies with friends".
"I know"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.

Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a w**...."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's a pirate's favorite school subject?

Arrrrrrrrt.
What's a pirate's favorite body part?
The arrrrrm.
What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?
No. The Navy you idiot.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Mugger: Give me all your stuff or you're science!

Me: Don't you mean history?
Mugger: Don't try to change the subject!

When I heard my new job required passing a drug test.....

Boy was I excited. Finally a test in a subject I know about!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Talking about Genders is a lot like the World Trade centers.

There were 2 of them now it's a sensitive subject.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What is s**...?

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's s**...?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Joke rules for my house:

First of all, most all jokes are acceptable in this house.. except abortion jokes. Because jokes are all about the delivery...
Absolutely no p**... jokes. Period. No s**... assault jokes.. thats a touchy subject. Dead baby jokes on the other hand.. never get old!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject

But I must say, it's pretty c**... of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.

A guy storms into a bank, pulls out his gun, points it at a teller and hollers, Give me all your money or you're geography! Trembling, the teller stammers, D...d...don't y...y...you m...m...mean h...h...history?

The robber screams, Don't change the subject!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Is it ok to make a joke about child m**...?

Probably not, it's just too touchy of a subject.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a sensitive subject.

But now when you make jokes about botox, nobody lifts an eyebrow.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"

"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"

I asked my dad why he never makes any jokes and why he always change subject

"What are you talking about? I've made two jokes... By the way where's your brother?"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call a large crowd of people discussing the subject of w**...?

A mass debate

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

s**... Harassment

is a touchy subject

I was going to make a pun about birth control, but it's a serious subject.

I'm not kidding.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I was going to make a s**... harassment joke ...

But it's a touchy subject

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Did you know that a piranha can eat a child in 40 seconds?

Anyway, changing the subject, I lost my job at the aquarium today

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

An elephant is standing on a street corner with an e**....

His thing is HUGE, hangs all the way to the ground.
At that moment a mother is taking her son to school and the son looks at the elephant and says "Mommy what is that?"
Mom: "Oh that's the trunk honey"
Kid: "No mom, further back between the legs"
Mom: "Oh that? That's nothing...." and awkwardly changes the subject.
The next day, same elephant in the same condition is on the corner only this time the dad is taking the kid to school.
Kid: "Hey dad, what is that? It's not the the trunk and it's not the legs, it's in between the legs. Mommy says that's nothing."
The dad thinks for a second and then laughs, "Yeah well, mommy is spoiled."

The Presidential Election will never bring a satisfactory conclusion, there's no flow it's just one candidate that changes the subject constantly,while the other can't perform for too long

we truly have Electile Dysfunction

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt;

long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

s**... harassment should not be joked about

It's a very touchy subject to some people

3 farmers.

3 farmers were sitting at the local cafe drinking coffee. The subject of the lottery and what they would do if they won came up.
"I think I would take some time off and go on a cruise. I've always wanted to go on a cruise." Said the first farmer.
"First thing I would do is buy a fancy sports car. I've always wanted a fast car." said the second farmer.
The third farmer was sitting quietly, fidgeting a little. "Come on, what would you do with your millions?" Asked the other two farmers.
Reluctantly the third farmer answered "I reckon I would just go on farming like I have been until the money runs out"

What is Wanda Maximoff's favorite subject?

Division.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My teacher failed me in s**... because I didn't want to discuss the subject.

Worst part of homeschooling...

People at my work are subject to quantum effects

They behave differently if a superviser is observing.

A good conversation is like a miniskirt…

Short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
Cr

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Bought a new camera today…

and wanted to test it out. I was looking for a good subject and found a salon where a guy was cutting a woman's hair. I went in and asked him if I could take some pictures. He said she wanted a rainbow look, and it would be great to get some before and after pics to capture the coloring process.
That's when I shot a man, just to watch him dye.

I started a 100 subject survey on what shampoo women use...

Only got to the 3rd shower before the police arrested me unfortunately

A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career

He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.
In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job security.
"I'm as surprised as you are," wrote the vampire. "It was not a job I could see myself doing."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

circumcision?

I over head these two guys in a bar one night, in their 30's, discussing the subject of Circumcision.
o**... was dead set on getting it done , since his parents didn't have that done for him.
I couldn't help but to get in that convo.
I said,
"I would recommend against it!"

He asked why.

I said,
"I had it done when I was first born and I couldn't walk for over a year!"

Mike Tyson gets really upset if you talk to him about Norse mythology.

It's a Thor subject.

Hey, does anybody remember that famous multi-personality patient who was the subject of the book Sybil that came out in the '70s? well, I went to high school with her!

A lot of the other kids kind of avoided her, but I thought she was good people.

Subject joke, Hey, does anybody remember that famous multi-personality patient who was the subject of the book Syb

jokes about subject