The Best 28 Stupid Watch Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stupid Watch jokes. There are some stupid watch stupid jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stupid watch timepiece puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stupid Watch Jokes and Puns

Yo momma is so stupid that she sat on the TV to watch the couch.

Yo momma so stupid it took her four hours to watch "60 Minutes."

Yo momma's so stupid, she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

Stupid Watch joke

Yo Mama's so stupid because it too her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."


Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Stupid Watch joke

Stupid kid

A barber was doing his business and a kid walked in his shop.
The barber told his customer:
- See that kid, he's the stupidest kid I've ever know. Here I'll prove it to you.
The barber yells at kid to come to him so his customer can watch.
The barber pulls out a 2 euro coin and a 5 euro bill and asks the kid:
- Hey kid, what do u choose?
The kid takes the 2 euro coin and leaves. The barber:
- See, I told u. He chooses 2 euro coin every time.
The customer walks out and sees the kid around the corner eating ice-cream.
He approaches the kid and asks:
- Do u not know the difference between a 2 euro coin and a 5 euro bill. Which one is more valuable?
The kid replies:
- I know the difference, but the moment I choose the 5 euro bill, the game is over.

A blonde mom is cooking dinner when her blonde daughter walks in

The daughter asks, "Mom, why do people think we blondes are stupid?"

Her mother replies, "I'll show you", and taps hard on the kitchen counter.

Somewhat confused, the blonde daughter says, "Someone's at the door!".

The blonde mother laughs. "This is why people think we're stupid. Now watch over the stove for me while I answer the door."

Leave the peach cobbler in the kitchen alone, mother said, going upstairs.


But I couldn't help myself. I sneaked in and watched him. Watched him make his stupid little peach shoes, taunting.

Nobody's going to wear those, I said. They're stupid.

But on he worked.

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, Listen. Differences aside, we can't let you send people to the sun. It's suicide. They burn to death even at far distances! Please don't carry out this mission! The Iranians laughed wittily amongst themselves, jabbing each other with elbows and pointing at the westerners as one Iranian says, Stupid Americans! They think we're going during the daytime!

You can explore stupid watch silly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stupid watch dumbest dad jokes. There are also stupid watch puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My wife is one of those annoying people that ruins films by asking questions.

Last night we were watching Schindler's List and she stupidly asked, "Why are you wanking?".

Paraprosdokians

*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*

Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.

I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.

If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)

You're never too old to learn ...something stupid.

I watched my dog chase his tail in circles for ten minutes.

It amazed me how stupid and easily entertained he was. Then I realized I had just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.

A Dutch and a Belgian are sitting in a bar, watching the evening news.

They see a woman ready to jump from the 6th floor, shouting "I'm going to jump, I'm going to jump!". The Dutch says: "I bet she's gonna jump." The Belgian replies: "And I bet she won't." So they bet, and the woman jumps. Then the Dutch tells the Belgian: "I have to confess that I cheated, as I already saw it on the 1pm news." - "Me too", says the Belgian, "I saw it on the 1pm news already. But I did not think that she would be stupid enough to jump twice."

Wrestling is so stupid

I can't believe people pay to watch people without pants risk their lives for a belt

Stupid Watch joke, Wrestling is so stupid

I was watching the Titanic on my iPhone 7.

Rose looks pretty stupid crying on that raft with no Jack.

Do you ever get that feeling like your being watched?

'Cause if it's bothering you I'll stop.

*Edit*: It's supposed to be you're. I'm know I'm stupid. You can stop telling me.

Man yelling at TV

Man is watching TV when he starts yelling: No! Don't go there! Don't do it! You stupid fool!

His wife asks him: What are you watching?

Just our wedding video.


A young first officer asks his Captain

A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"

And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"

"Yes, my sir, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."

"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all these stupid things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."

UGH I was just forced to watch a stupid commercial about something called a Snuggie...

I wanted to change the channel so bad, but I was under a blanket and didn't want my arms to get cold.

Leave the peach cobbler in the kitchen alone, mother would say, going upstairs.

But I couldn't help myself, I sneaked in and watched him making those stupid little peach shoes.

A man was watching TV

Man : Don't do it !

Man : Don't do it, you stupid idiot!

Wife : What are you watching, honey?

Man : Our wedding

Where do the Game of Thrones characters go to get their clothing pressed?

The Iron Islands.
...I'm so sorry, I've been re-watching the entire series in preparation for April and this stupid joke popped into my head after my Mum bought a new iron :3

Not a joke more of meme but to lazy to make it so here it goes

Me watches spirited away as a child

Me:how can they forget who they were thats just stupid

Me gets depression

Someone:can you remember what you used to do before just laying sad in your bed?

Me:...............oh so thats how....

A burglar broke into a house. As he was opening the safe, he heard a voice

The voice was saying "Jesus and I are watching you". The burglar turns around and sees a parrot.

"Stupid bird, it was you that scared the hell out of me"

"Yes, it was me, Aristotle"

The burglar laughs and says "That's a stupid name for a parrot"

The parrot replied "Well, Jesus is a stupid name for a doberman"

Sensei, I've been training for years, and I'm not getting any stronger. What's going on?

Have you seen the flock of cranes fly over the old mountain at sunrise?

Yes.

Have you seen the great lightning storms crack the sky before making way for a rainbow?

Yes.

Have you seen the fabled tiger as it hunts prey in the forest, quicker than the eye can see?

Yes, Sensei.

That's the problem. You keep watching stupid shit instead of practicing!

My wife was screaming and yelling at the tv, Don't go to church you stupid bitch, I said what are you watching?

She said, Our wedding video.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stupid watch dumber jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stupid watch silliest piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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