298 Stupid Jokes That Are Dumb But Funny

Are Stupid jokes funny? For sure! There is no such thing as boring stupid joke here. All jokes are funny in their own way. You can also read stupid jokes images on Pinterest or watch videos with stupid jokes on YouTube.

Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.

Yo mama so dumb she used old spice body wash to cook.

Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car!

Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.

Yo mama so stupid when she pays her bills she gives pennies to her cash.

Your mama's so stupid when she saw a bus with lots of white kids in it she said stop that Twinkie.

Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.

Yo mama so stupid when I said I was going to the big apple she said bring me back one.

Yo mamma so stupid she tried to eat her iPhone because it had an apple on it!

Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!

Yo mama is so stupid, she returned a doughnut cause it had a hole in it.

Yo mama is so stupid that when she got on a motorcycle she didn't know how to open the window.

YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.

Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your mom is so stupid she thought Nickelback was a refund.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.

Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.

Yo mamma so stupid she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green.

Yo mama is so stupid that she thought starbucks are money in space.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her boss told her to take her ugly ass home, she came back 10 minutes later without her ass.

Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.

Yo mama so fat the only liquor she knows is liquorice.

Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.

Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!

Your mama so dumb she thought the shoes Vans are actually vans.

Yo mama so dumb that when she looked in a mirror she yelled stop copying me.

Yo mama's so stupid when she cries for help she says "come here please".

Yo mamma so stupid she thought Donald trump was a trumpit.

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."

Yo mamma so stupid, when I said lets hit the dance floor, she stated hitting it.

Yo mama so stupid, I said, "Why do you have 2 quarters in your ears?"
And she said, "I am listening to 50 cent."

Yo momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a bl*wjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she voted for a pit bull wearing lipstick.

Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself out of her motercycle.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got energy!"

Yo mama so stupid, she dropped off her phone because it stopped.

Yo Momma's so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner.

Yo' mama so stupid, she told me to meet her on the corner of "walk" and "don't walk."

Yo mama so stupid that when she turned on airplane mode...
She thought she could fly.

Yo mama so fat and stupid, she went to a grocery store and tried to gamble at Butterball.

Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!

Yo Mommas so stupid she got lost in a telephone booth.

Yo mama is so stupid that when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.

Yo mama is so stupid that when he got a new bicycle he gave it to the charity funds.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"

Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.

Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!

Yo Mama's so stupid when she heard someone say it was chille outside,she went and grabbed a size 20 bowl.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks the Wu-Tang Clan is a Japanese orange drink company.

Yo momma so stupid that she brought a ruler to bed to see how long she could sleep.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she jumped off a cliff and stopped for directions.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Ewoks were just Homeless Care Bears on drugs.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she gave your kids a "Yo' Grandmama Is So Stupid" joke book.

Yo Mama's so dumb she waited all day at a stop sign.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she saw a "Wet Floor" sign and did what it said.

Yo mama is so stupid that she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.

Yo momma so stupid she thought that doctor pepper could heal her.

Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.

Yo mamma is stupid she bought tickets to Flo ridas concert but instead she went to Florida.

Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo mama is stupid, she put a book in her friend face and named facebook.

Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!

Yo mama so stupid she thought that 2 quarters were the famous singer every one said wow she's so "right".

Yo mama's so dumb that when she saw the "Under 17 not admitted" sign at a movie theatre, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.

Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking for bluetooth at the orthodontist.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.

Yo Mama's so stupid I asked her to buy me a pare of sneakers and she came back with 2 candy bars.

Yo Mama's so stupid because it too her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama so stupid she tried to make an appointment with Dr.pepper

Yo mama is so dumb she makes u look like a genius.

Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she smashed open her TV hoping to find a TV dinner.

Yo mama so stupid she told a yo mama joke to you.

Yo mamma so stupid she brought a spoon to a super bowl and the fat one brought a bowl.

Yo mama's so stupid she studied for blood test and failed.

Yo Mama so stupid she put a peephole in a glass door!

Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.

Yo mama so stupid somebody said "What's your IQ?" and she said gesundheit.

yo momas so stupid when theives broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ''wait you forgot the remote''.

Yo mama is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping out the basement window.

Your mom is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.

Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.

Yo mommas so stupid she failed a survey.

Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama so stupid she stab her self with a shooting gun.

Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.

Yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.

Yo' Mama is so dumb, if her brains were farts, there wouldn't be enough to stink.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought a ribbed condom was soul food.

Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she tried to put the leftover orange juice back in the rind.

Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.

One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home.
He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?"
His father replied, "Figure it out."
Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?"
The teacher said: "Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"

A man and his son went into a store.
The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag."
The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."

In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game.
The cashier:
- Are you stupid? This isn't real money!
Peter:
- You're stupid. The car is not real either.

A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach.
As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why.
She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."
Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
Shortly after, the boy returned again.
He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

A dad is washing the car with his son. After a moment, the son asks his father, "Do you think we could use a sponge instead?"

An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason.
The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?"
The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?"
"No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."

When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."

Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole.
The next door neighbor saw him and asked;
"Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?"
"My goldfish died, and I have to bury it."
"Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?"
"Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

What sexual position makes the stupidest babies? I don't know either, go ask your mama.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she gave your kids a "Yo' Grandmama Is So Stupid" joke book.

Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made.
Samantha explains it to her.
"I still don't get it? Can you show me."
Suzy says.
"OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw."
That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand.
The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sex with her.
"OK but I don't want Samantha to watch"
So Samantha went outside.
They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy.
"That was fun but I still don't get it."
Says Suzy
The next day the same thing happened.
And the next day.
Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying.
"Whats wrong," Suzy says.
"Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better."
Said Samantha.
"Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy.
When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it.
Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately.
He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her.
"OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed."
"Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."

A man and his son went into a store.
The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag."
The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."

People often ask me if my French jokes are immature... wee.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.

Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.

Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener? She thought it was diet coke.

Death: It's your time. give me your hand
Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die!
Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five!
Blonde: *high fives*
Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
A: She went looking for the three guys.

What are a blonde's first words after graduating college? "Would you like fries with that?"

A blonde heard that accidents happen close to home so she moved!

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.

An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot.
Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened.
Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can't be opened.
So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says,
"May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!"
"I'm 5'4 and in the front seat of the plane."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio. "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven..."

A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself.
A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.
"What are you doing." they ask her.
So she replies "Hanging myself."
The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck."
The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."

A blonde enters a library.
She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
The librarian says "Ma'am this is library."
So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."

There are three moms.
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.
They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed.
I cannot believe she smokes weed"
They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse.
I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.
Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse.
I just cannot believe she has a penis"

A brunette and a blonde are walking in the park.
The brunette asks: "Hey can you see that forest over there?"
The blonde looks that way and answers: "I can't, the trees are covering the view."

One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement.
He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.
The blonde giggled and replied, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!

Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: She's trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.

16 Blondes are standing outside the bar. Why didn't they go in? The sign said 18+.

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A Space Invader.

A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes.
When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"

Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people."
Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?"
Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."

Why was the blonde so proud of herself? She finished a puzzle in 5 hours, the box said 3-5 years.

A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter.
After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs."
Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone."
The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. The sign said, "Disneyland Left". So they started crying and went home.

How does a blonde drown a fish? She puts it in water!

Three blondes are stranded on an island.
A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.
So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.
The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.
The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."

There are three blonds that went to the store.
After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car.
The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door.
The second blond tried using a hanger.
The third blond tried using pen.
While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"

Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.

Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?

Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A: She didn't know what one came first.

There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000.
The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!"
The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect."
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5."
She answers and says "20".
Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2."
The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"

Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: From trying to blow out light bulbs.

Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.

Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?
A: Trying to put batteries in it.

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel.
After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead.
No sign of the blonde.
After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore.
They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink.
After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"

What do you call a dumb brunette? A dirty blonde.

Why do blondes always wash there hair? They just read the instructions. Lather... Rinse... Repeat...

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers.
She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.
"235,000 miles."
Her friend told her that was the problem.
But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted.
So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000.
Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles.
The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the bathtub.

Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."

Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: What do bleached blondes and airplanes both have in common?
A: They both have a black box.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone.

I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with.
I dyed my hair!

Did you hear they banned fans from doing "The Wave" at all sports events? Too many blondes were drowning.

Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"

After the helicopter crash, the blond pilot was asked what happened. She replied, "It was getting chilly in there, so I turned the fan off."

Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

A blonde's house is on fire.
She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!"
Someone else yells, "Call 911!"
The blonde yells back, "What's the number?"

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders?
A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing them from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know?" whenever you ask them a question.

Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?
A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters.
She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

Two blondes are walking down the street.
One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first Blonde hands her the compact.
She looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago.
The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"

Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant?
A: She sneezes.

A blonde was trying to sell her old car.
She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.
The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”
“That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I can only sell the car.”
“Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will ‘fix it’. Then you shouldn’t have a problem anymore trying to sell your car.”

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.
About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?”
“No,” replied the blonde, “Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”

Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not.
I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?"
The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."

Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on her.

A blonde gets her first period, so she goes to the drugstore to get some pads.
The wide selection and huge variety confuse her, so she asks the clerk for some help.
"What kind of pads should I get?" she says. "This is all new to me."
"Well," says the clerk, "that depends on the flow."
She says, "It's ceramic tile."

A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"

Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.

A blonde went to the eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette.
She asked the salesman how much the TV was.
He said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was.
He said, "Sorry we don"t sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."

A man works in the operations department of a large bank.
Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.

Two blondes were talking together:
First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?"
Second: "He isn't just now my engaged."
First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!"
Second: "He is now my husband!"

Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies?
A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.

Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.

So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner
"Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom."
The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob.
So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis.
So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"

A husband is driving with her blonde wife, the husband says "Can you stick your head out the window if the blinker works?" T
hen the blonde sticks her head out the window and replies, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..".

A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend.
She reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening.
But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either.
When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened?
She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"

Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting: "GIVE US YER LOOT!"
A: They were both blonds.

Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??
A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!

Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
A: Women!

A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."

I don't understand why people get attacked by sharks. Can they not hear the music?

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Why did the coach go back to the bank? To get his quarterback!

They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

How does a farmer count cows? with a cow-calculator.

I'm looking at the serving size of Laughing Cow cheese and I see why the cow is laughing.

How does a blonde drown a fish? She puts it in water!

Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!

If you glue a dead wasp to your palm, you can smack your boss on the back of the head as hard as you want and act like you saved him.

Yo mama is so stupid, she put cat food down her pants to feed her pussy.

Are your other donkeys jealous because that's one fine ass

The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy.
The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
"Ever have an accident?"
"Nope, nary a one."
"None? You've never had any accidents."
"Nope. Ain't had one. Never."
"Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"
"Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."

Me: "How much for the baby dragon?"
Pet store clerk: "Sir, that's a lizard."
Me: *not listening* "When do they start breathing fire?"

Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep.

Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.

Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters.
She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

Girl, if you were a camel, I'd hump you!

Are you a shark, cause I got some swimmers for you to swallow.

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

My doctor wants to have me tested for lupus which is ridiculous, as I've never even seen a werewolf.

Your pussy is in more danger than a seal during Shark Week.

You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!

My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

Dogs. Because when everyone looks at you like you're crazy, they look at you like you're amazing.

Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? (no) me neither but enough to break the ice, hi my name is .....

Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!

How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut its nose off.

A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog.
The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want."
The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you."
He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened.
And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."

The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"

What do you get when you give away free meth at a redneck zoo? Iced animal crackers!

A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"

Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".

One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar.
Man says "you can leave that lion here."
The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."

Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.

Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.

Hi, Can I domesticate you?

So I hear you like snakes...I have one its called a "trouser snake"

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip.
They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.
I mean they spend a fortune!
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day.
It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed.
One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States."
The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?"
Redneck: "Why, is it required?"

You might be a redneck if your mother carries a lug nut wrench for a toothpick.

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the redneck.

You're a redneck if:
-You have more fingers than you do teeth
-You cut your grass and find a car
-You consider Denny's a Fancy Resturant
-Your best Suit contains more than 5 colors
-Your age is higher than your I.Q.
-Your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?"
-You ask your wife whether the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and she replies "It's a gummy bear."
-You have a family reunion and everyone in town shows up.
-You say "Watch this" every time before you goto the hospital.
-Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.

You might be a redneck if you're invited to a come as you party and you show up naked.

So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks, "Hey, you wanna hear a redneck story?"
The guy says, "Buddy, I'm six feet, 210 pounds, an' ma name's Billy Joe. You see the guy on the other side of you? That there's Bubba. He's 225 pounds of solid muscle and he's a redneck. And the boy next to him? Mike's a trucker who weighs 295 and he's a redneck, too. Now, do you still want to tell your redneck story?"
The fella says, "Naw, you're right... I'd hate to have to explain it three times!"

Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".

Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut.
After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head.
"How you like it?" asked the barber.
"Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"

Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting.
They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something.
The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you."
After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost.
He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him.
He then waits an hour and does it again.
He repeats this until he is out of ammo.
The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers.
He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do.
The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."

During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.
"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.
"What fer?" asked Pyle.
"Shorter hours."
"Good fer them!" said the redneck.
"Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"

Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
A: She went looking for the three guys.

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.

There are three moms.
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.
They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed.
I cannot believe she smokes weed"
They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse.
I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her.
Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse.
I just cannot believe she has a penis"

I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.

YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.

Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."

Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.

What's the definition of "Tender Love?" Two gays with hemorrhoids.

Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep.

Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.

What sexual position makes the stupidest babies? I don't know either, go ask your mama.

Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made.
Samantha explains it to her.
"I still don't get it? Can you show me."
Suzy says.
"OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw."
That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand.
The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sex with her.
"OK but I don't want Samantha to watch"
So Samantha went outside.
They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy.
"That was fun but I still don't get it."
Says Suzy
The next day the same thing happened.
And the next day.
Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying.
"Whats wrong," Suzy says.
"Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better."
Said Samantha.
"Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy.
When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it.
Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately.
He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her.
"OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed."
"Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."

So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner
"Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom."
The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob.
So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis.
So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband.
He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?"
"There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"

A man asks his buddy: "Listen to me! Why has your wife left you, if I may ask?"
And he says, "you know, she has told me that I am weak in the bed."
"Oh, that is really sad. And what do you do to improve it?"
And he says again: "you know, I have bought one book, the name of this book is Kamasutra, you know I am helping myself with the hand, I have learned all positions, but the last position I am not gonna make."
"And what is the name of this position?"
"You know, imagine the missionary position."

Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".

Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..."
In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"

Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.

Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen.
When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?"
"Last night at 11:00," I said.
"And the tires were on it then?"

A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes.
When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.

Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"

There were five brothers named somebody, nobody, anybody mad and brain.
One day somebody and nobody were fighting, and just at that moment the anybody called police.
The police picked up the phone, and said hello.
Then Anybody: "Hello sir! I want to inform you that somebody is beating nobody."
Police: "Sorry!"
Anybody: "Sir somebody is beating nobody"
Police: "Are you mad? Who are you? What's your name?"
Anybody: "No, sir mad is dancing, I am anybody"
Police: "Shut up you idiot. What are you saying? Where have your brain gone? Is it lost?"
Anybody: "No, sir brain is not lost. Brain is in the bathroom."

Best of 298 Stupid Jokes. Stupid funny jokes about dad, kids, blonde, yo mama or stupid people, that can be dirty, corny, hilarious and knock knock jokes.

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Stupid Jokes

funny jokes about stupid and hilarious stories

BEST STUPID JOKES

NEW STUPID JOKES

Top 10 Latest Stupid jokes

STUPID JOKES THAT ARE...

BEST DIRTY JOKES

Best Stupid jokes that are one of the dirtiest you can hear.

BEST INSULTING JOKES

Best Stupid insulting jokes for for those who want to insult others.

BEST POLITICAL JOKES

Best Stupud jokes about politics.

WHAT ARE STUPID JOKES ABOUT?

TOP YO-MAMA JOKES THAT ARE STUPID

TOP Yo mama so stupid jokes and puns.

TOP DAD JOKES THAT ARE STUPID

TOP Stupid dad jokes that are actually really funny.

TOP KIDS JOKES THAT ARE STUPID

TOP Stupid kids jokes that are hilarious.

TOP BLONDE JOKES THAT ARE STUPID

TOP Blonde jokes about stupidity of blondes.

TOP ANIMAL JOKES THAT ARE STUPID

TOP Stupid animal jokes about creatures of nature.

TOP REDNECK JOKES THAT ARE STUPID

TOP Hilarious puns and memes about stupid redneck.

TOP SEX JOKES THAT ARE STUPID

TOP Stupid sex jokes that are totally inappropriate but funny.

TOP COP JOKES THAT ARE STUPID

TOP Best jokes about stupid police officer.

CONCLUSION

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