The Best 38 Stupid Blondes Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stupid Blondes jokes. There are some stupid blondes ventriloquist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stupid blondes blonde brunette redhead puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stupid Blondes Jokes and Puns

I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

I knew a blonde that was so stupid she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "Concentrate."

Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico.

They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them.

As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river.

One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light."

The other said: "What do you think I am, stupid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"

Stupid Blondes joke

A blonde mom is cooking dinner when her blonde daughter walks in

The daughter asks, "Mom, why do people think we blondes are stupid?"

Her mother replies, "I'll show you", and taps hard on the kitchen counter.

Somewhat confused, the blonde daughter says, "Someone's at the door!".

The blonde mother laughs. "This is why people think we're stupid. Now watch over the stove for me while I answer the door."

2 Blondes are standing on opposite sides of a river...

...One blonde yells across, "How did you get to the other side?"
the other blonde looks confused and yells back, "Don't be stupid, you're already on the other side!"


How many sheep?

A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's stupid and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"

A blonde is walking on the bank of a wide river when

she sees another blonde on the opposing bank. The first blonde yells: "Hey! How do you get to the other side?" To which the second blonde yells back: "What are you, stupid? You are on the other side."

Stupid Blondes joke, A blonde is walking on the bank of a wide river when

Blonde vs. Space

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were taking a tour inside of NASA space center. The tour-guide asked them "What planet or other object in our universe would you go to?"

The red head said. "I'd go to Saturn!"

The brunette said, "I'd go to the Moon!"

The blonde said "I'd go to the Sun!"

The tour-guide looked at the blonde. "But if you go the Sun, you'll burn up and die."

The blonde rolled her eyes and replied calmly. "What, do you think I'm stupid? I'd go at night!"

Three Blondes

Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Hey guys, look at the bear tracks." The second blonde said, "Are you stupid? Those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong! Those are fox tracks!" They were all still arguing when the train hit them.

A scientist is trying to prove that all blonds are stupid

so he holds an all blond convention and randomly picks someone from the crowd. First he asks her what two plus two is. She answers seven, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!". So this time he asks her what ten minus four is. She answers thirteen, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!". So this time he asks her what is five times five is. She answers twenty-five, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!".

Three blondes went for a walk in the country...

...when they stumble upon a line of tracks in the woods.
The first blonde looks down and says, "These are definitely deer tracks!"
The second blonde replies, "No stupid, these are bear tracks!"
The third shouts, "You're both wrong these are certainly dog tracks!"
They were still arguing 5 minutes later when the train hit them.

You can explore stupid blondes dumbest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stupid blondes asinine dad jokes. There are also stupid blondes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three Blondes

Three blondes are hiking in the woods when they see some tracks.

1st blonde: Look guys, deer tracks!

2nd blonde: No, stupid, they're wolf tracks!

3rd blonde: You guys are both dumb, they're clearly bear tracks!

Then they got hit by a train.

Two blondes

Two blondes standing either side of a river, the first blonde shouts to the other "How do you get to the other side?" the other replies "You're on the other side, stupid!"

What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

They both swallow a lot of seamen.

Why do blonds have schools underwater.

Because deep down, they're not so stupid.

A blonde says to her husband:

"Answer this question truthfully, and with only yes or no"

"Why do you think all blondes are stupid?"

Stupid Blondes joke, A blonde says to her husband:

A blonde walks up to her blonde mom...

and asks,

"Mom, why does everyone think we are stupid?"

Her mum chuckles and says

"Bring me a pot"

A bit confused, the daughter goes and grabs a pot from the kitchen and hands it to her mom. Soon after the mother starts knocking on the pot.

The daughter turns to the door and says,

"Mom! Someone is at the door!"

The mom chuckles and says,

"See, this is why people think Blondes are stupid...
now hold this pot so I can go answer the door."

*Edit* Changed gender of daughter back, sorry tumblr.

Three blondes were...

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"

They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.

and last blonde to walk in says,

"now to change that light bulb."


Two blonde roommates

One day julia's new roommate emma was bathing with the door open.

julia: Why are you bathing with the door open?

emma: I didn't want your stupid boyfriend peeping through the keyhole that's why!

My blonde girlfriend and I got into an argument because I accused her of being stupid. Eventually she jumped up out of her chair and yelled, Give me one good reason why I shouldn't walk out that door!

I replied, The plane hasn't landed yet.

2 blondes are sitting on a bench in San Francisco...

One of the blondes says to the other. "Hey, which one is closer; New York or the moon?". The other blonde laughs at the stupidity of the joke.

"Well, duh! Can you see New York from here?"

Stupid Rule.!

A new patient was quite upset when the doctor's nurse led him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. "But I only want the doctor to look at an ingrown toenail!" he protested. "Our rule is that everyone must undress," replied the blond nurse. "That's a stupid rule," grumbled the patient, "making me undress just to look at my toe." "That's nothing," growled a voice from the next cubicle. "I just came to fix the phones!"

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a skyscraper

Suddenly, a fire starts and the three of them are trapped on a balcony. The firemen show up and hold out a canopy for the girls to jump onto. The brunette jumps and the firemen miss her with the canopy. They apologize and encourage the other two girls to jump. The redhead jumps and the firemen miss her as well. The firemen apologize again and ensure the blonde they will catch her. She says, "I'm not stupid, put it on the ground and I'll jump."

A blonde women's basketball team rallied and then tied up the score at the end of regulation...

...and the coach took out a bottle of wine and handed out glasses to the team.

After imbibing, the blonde team obviously ended up losing.

Coach was asked later by, "Why the early celebration?"

Coach said, "We weren't celebrating, we're not that stupid. I served wine because I heard it always gets better overtime."

Why did the blonde woman have bruises on her belly button?

Because blonde men are stupid too.

What do you call a stupid girl with too much makeup in an exam?

Blonde roux.

Why are blondes so stupid?

They give too much head.

Irony!!!

Every blonde thinking that every other blonde except her was responsible for blond stupidity.

Blonde walks into an elevator

She sees her co worker Steve & says "TGIF". Steve has a puzzled look on his face and replies "NSIT". Ever more puzzled the blonde replies "TGIF, thank God it's Friday". Steve then says "NSIT, no stupid it's Thursday"

Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons?

Because blonde guys are stupid too.

Two blondes are driving to Miami for spring break

On a long boring stretch of highway they start complaining about how long it's taking to get there and the driver asks "What do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?" The passenger replies "Oh my God, you give blondes such a bad name. I can't believe how stupid you are, you can't even see Florida from here!"

There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car...

The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?"

The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in."

The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?"

The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger."

The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"and hung up.

Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?" And his lovely wife replies, "I don't have any idea who it was. It was some stupid woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."

A blonde woman is driving through the countryside when she spots another blonde woman sitting in a canoe in the middle of a field, trying to row through the grass.

Feeling very angry she pulls over her car, stomps over to the fence, and calls out to the woman in the canoe. It's women like you who make blondes look stupid. If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass!

Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?

Because blonde men are stupid too.

An alcoholic sees a blonde nurse

An alcoholic walks into a nurses office. The blonde nurse asks "What seems to be the problem?". So the alcoholic says "I've been having a rough, scratchy feeling in my throat lately". She asks "Well that do you mostly eat and drink?". He replies "Mostly scotch". The alcoholic sees the nurses' eyes widen in shock and judgement, and in a reflex of dismissal he adds "On the rocks though". Her mood quickly shifts from shock to anger and says "WELL THERES' YOUR PROBLEM! STOP DRINKING ROCKS, STUPID!".

A man and his blonde date were at a restaurant

So, said the blonde, do you have any kids? I know your divorce with your previous wife was hard

Yeah, replied the man, I have one thats just under three

The blonde, feeling like her date was trying to point out her stupidity said, I may be a blonde, but I know how much 2 is

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stupid blondes blonde birthday jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stupid blondes blonde brunette piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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