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Stumped Jokes

63 stumped jokes and hilarious stumped puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stumped that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Stumped Short Jokes

Short stumped jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stumped humour may include short puzzled jokes also.

  1. I asked my dad to tell me a decision he regretted. I must have stumped him because he just kept staring at me.
  2. The sheriff at the press conference said we have a torso with no arms, legs, or head. Frankly, we're stumped.
  3. If you chop a tree down in the middle of the forest, but the tree doesn't understand why you chopped it down Do you think it's stumped?
  4. The other day, I finally asked my pretty amputee coworker out. She didn't answer, I guess she was stumped.
  5. A man with no hands walks into a palm reader's business The palm reader looks at him and says, "well, I'm stumped."
  6. How do you stump two nudists who are dating? Ask them who wears the pants in their relationship.
  7. Why did you cut me down, lumberjack? Lumberjack: Oh, you really don't know why?
    Tree: Sorry, I'm stumped.
  8. Two trees got arrested today. How they caught them still stumps me but I hear they were doing some shady business.
  9. An arm amputee bought a wooden cupboard from IKEA which was sent to his home for his self assembly. Needless to say, he was stumped.
  10. I told a riddle to a double amputee once Boy did it leave him stumped

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Stumped One Liners

Which stumped one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stumped? I can suggest the ones about baffled and flummoxed.

  1. I can't come up with any jokes about cutting down trees. I'm stumped.
  2. Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle? He was stumped.
  3. What do you call a stripper who works with amputees? A stump grinder
  4. What do you call an amputee that can't answer riddles? Stumped
  5. What do you call a confused amputee? Stumped.
  6. Why couldn't the cut down tree answer a riddle? It was stumped.
  7. Why are riddles about trees so hard? Because they always leave you stumped!
  8. Why do trees make bad detectives? They always get stumped!
  9. He cut off both of my legs and then asked me a question I couldn't answer. I'm stumped.
  10. I'm freshly amputated but can't remember the word for my condition I'm stumped
  11. I really don't know how I lost my legs I'm completely stumped
  12. What do trees say when they get cut down? I'm stumped.
  13. Who would steal an artificial leg? I'm stumped.
  14. What do you call a lumberjack without any legs? Stumped!
  15. Why did Anakin fail to answer the trivia question? He was stumped.

Stumped joke, Why did Anakin fail to answer the trivia question?

Witty Stumped Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about stumped you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stuck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stumped pranks.

birthday

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great s**..., any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."

Shirt Size

While working at a men's department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs. "I don't know his size, but my hands fit perfectly around his neck!"

How do you call a puzzled amputee?

Stumped.

I've been trying to think of a name for my Cricket shop.

But I'm stumped.

What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

"I'm stumped."

What did the man say after he got into a fight with the amputee?

You stumped me!

What did the quadruple amputee say when he couldn't solve the riddle?

I'm stumped.

Blonde woman goes to the doctor...

She tells the doctor that her husband has terrible dandruff and they've tried everything and it just keeps getting worse. Doctor tells the blonde to go home, give him head and shoulders, and come back in two weeks. Two weeks pass and the woman goes back to the doctor, "I'm stumped, he still has dandruff and I don't know how to give him shoulders!"

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

What happens when a calculus teacher with one arm can't figure out a proof?

He gets stumped.

A farmer once successfully bred a three-legged chicken...

and bragged about it to his neighbors on how fast it was. A billionaire was passing by and took a liking to it. So he made a million dollar offer to the farmer for the chicken. Surprisingly, the farmer declined.
'Then, I'll give you five million for it,' said the billionaire.
'Sorry, I can't,' said the farmer.
'10 million dollars, I don't believe you'll turn down the offer'
'I'm truly sorry. I can't.'
The billionaire was stumped and asked, 'Is 10 million not enough?'
The farmer only sighed and reply, 'It's not that I don't want to sell it, that darned chicken is literally too fast for me to catch it.'

Trump receives a message

Last week Trump received a coded message, reportedly from Chinese Hackers.
It read: 370HSSV-0773H
Trump was stumped and asked Pence what the message could mean. Pence was totally stumped too, so they passed it to the top American programmers, who spent 2 days trying to decipher it. Knackered, the programmers sent it to the FBI.
The Director of the FBI suggested Trump should turn the message upside down.

A professor makes a bet with a student

A professor makes a bet with a student. Every question the professor asks that the student can't answer the student will owe him $1, every question the student asks that the professor can't answer he owes the student $100.
Professor: What element has the atomic number 45?
The student having no idea hands the professor $1.
Student: What animal walks on 2 legs, sleeps on 4 legs, and runs on 3 legs?
The professor is stumped, so he gives the student $100.
Professor: Ok you win, but on earth was the answer to your question?
The student gives the professor $1 and goes home.

As an amateur dermatologist detective this latest case has me stumped...

I'm not too worried though alopecia it all together in the end.

Limbless man found stuck inside fallen tree

Police are stumped

Probably seen a thousand times but it stumped my family. What question can you never answer no to? (Think about it before seeing the answer)

Are you asleep?

Quiz show

I was on a quiz show once and they asked me to come up with a 5-letter palindrome that starts with K.
It's a pity, I was stumped but if I had answered correctly I'd have won a new kayak.

A 3rd grader was giving a presentation on the planets. He got stumped and whispered to his Dad 'What's this one?' Father says 'Uranus.'

The kid looks proudly to the class and says 'This is my a**....'

My friend asked me What do you call a man with no legs?

It's been over two days and i'm totally stumped. Any help?

An amputee got to a particularly tough spot in his recovery...

I guess you could say he got stumped.

What do you call a tree that's stuck on a math problem?

Stumped.

i found a talking tree

i woke up one day and i heard a crying voice, i followed it and i found the source to be from a cut down tree
i said: "hello?"
the tree said crying: "what do you want?"
i asked: "you can talk?"
the tree answered: "yeah I'm a rare variant, now you answer my question: who cut me in half?"
i replied: "i don't know."
the tree said: "i don't know too, i'm stumped"

A man tells his friend, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday.

She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I'm stumped."
His buddy says, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great s**..., any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!"
The next day, his buddy asks, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?"
The man sighed. "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours!'"

A teacher asked the students a question about bombs, which left them stumped...

So, the teacher asked a new clear question.

A tree is cut down...

When the lead detective arrives, he asks the tree, "do you have any idea who did this to you?"
The tree replied, "I have no idea. I'm stumped."

Mike stopped by the bar and ran into his friend Jack.


"I've been taking evening classes at the university," Mike told Jack, "and I'm learning so much." "Who is Hobbes? Who is Mill? Who is Bentham?," Mike asked Jack.
Jack replied, "I gotta admit I don't know any of them." "But do you know who Richardson is?" Jack asked Mike. Despite everything he'd learned in his classes, Mike was stumped and admitted that to Jack. "Well you should," Jack said. "He's the guy who's been visiting your wife every time you head off to class."

Stumped joke, I really don't know how I lost my legs